a woman of thirty-第9节
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despising those whom it has brought down to its own level。 The petty fixed idea naturally prevails； it has the advantage of persistence over the plasticity of great thoughts。
The observer who should seek to estimate and appraise the negative values of these empty heads needs subtlety rather than superior wit for the task； patience is a more necessary part of his judicial outfit than great mental grasp； cunning and tact rather than any elevation or greatness of ideas。 Yet skilfully as such usurpers can cover and defend their weak points； it is difficult to delude wife and mother and children and the house…friend of the family； fortunately for them； however； these persons almost always keep a secret which in a manner touches the honor of all； and not unfrequently go so far as to help to foist the imposture upon the public。 And if； thanks to such domestic conspiracy； many a noodle passes current for a man of ability； on the other hand many another who has real ability is taken for a noodle to redress the balance； and the total average of this kind of false coin in circulation in the state is a pretty constant quantity。
Bethink yourself now of the part to be played by a clever woman quick to think and feel； mated with a husband of this kind； and can you not see a vision of lives full of sorrow and self…sacrifice？ Nothing upon earth can repay such hearts so full of love and tender tact。 Put a strong…willed woman in this wretched situation； and she will force a way out of it for herself by a crime； like Catherine II。； whom men nevertheless style 〃the Great。〃 But these women are not all seated upon thrones； they are for the most part doomed to domestic unhappiness none the less terrible because obscure。
Those who seek consolation in this present world for their woes often effect nothing but a change of ills if they remain faithful to their duties； or they commit a sin if they break the laws for their pleasure。 All these reflections are applicable to Julie's domestic life。
Before the fall of Napoleon nobody was jealous of d'Aiglemont。 He was one colonel among many； an efficient orderly staff…officer； as good a man as you could find for a dangerous mission； as unfit as well could be for an important command。 D'Aiglemont was looked upon as a dashing soldier such as the Emperor liked； the kind of man whom his mess usually calls 〃a good fellow。〃 The Restoration gave him back his title of Marquis； and did not find him ungrateful； he followed the Bourbons into exile at Ghent； a piece of logical loyalty which falsified the horoscope drawn for him by his late father…in…law； who predicted that Victor would remain a colonel all his life。 After the Hundred Days he received the appointment of Lieutenant…General； and for the second time became a marquis； but it was M。 d'Aiglemont's ambition to be a peer of France。 He adopted； therefore； the maxims and the politics of the /Conservateur/； cloaked himself in dissimulation which hid nothing （there being nothing to hide）； cultivated gravity of countenance and the art of asking questions and saying little； and was taken for a man of profound wisdom。 Nothing drew him from his intrenchments behind the forms of politeness； he laid in a provision of formulas； and made lavish use of his stock of the catch…words coined at need in Paris to give fools the small change for the ore of great ideas and events。 Among men of the world he was reputed a man of taste and discernment； and as a bigoted upholder of aristocratic opinions he was held up for a noble character。 If by chance he slipped now and again into his old light…heartedness or levity； others were ready to discover an undercurrent of diplomatic intention beneath his inanity and silliness。 〃Oh！ he only says exactly as much as he means to say；〃 thought these excellent people。
So d'Aiglemont's defects and good qualities stood him alike in good stead。 He did nothing to forfeit a high military reputation gained by his dashing courage； for he had never been a commander…in…chief。 Great thoughts surely were engraven upon that manly aristocratic countenance； which imposed upon every one but his own wife。 And when everybody else believed in the Marquis d'Aiglemont's imaginary talents； the Marquis persuaded himself before he had done that he was one of the most remarkable men at Court； where； thanks to his purely external qualifications； he was in favor and taken at his own valuation。
At home； however； M。 d'Aiglemont was modest。 Instinctively he felt that his wife； young though she was； was his superior； and out of this involuntary respect there grew an occult power which the Marquise was obliged to wield in spite of all her efforts to shake off the burden。 She became her husband's adviser； the director of his actions and his fortunes。 It was an unnatural position； she felt it as something of a humiliation； a source of pain to be buried in the depths of her heart。 From the first her delicately feminine instinct told her that it is a far better thing to obey a man of talent than to lead a fool； and that a young wife compelled to act and think like a man is neither man nor woman； but a being who lays aside all the charms of her womanhood along with its misfortunes； yet acquires none of the privileges which our laws give to the stronger sex。 Beneath the surface her life was a bitter mockery。 Was she not compelled to protect her protector； to worship a hollow idol； a poor creature who flung her the love of a selfish husband as the wages of her continual self…sacrifice； who saw nothing in her but the woman； and who either did not think it worth while； or （wrong quite as deep） did not think at all of troubling himself about her pleasures； of inquiring into the cause of her low spirits and dwindling health？ And the Marquis； like most men who chafe under a wife's superiority； saved his self…love by arguing from Julie's physical feebleness a corresponding lack of mental power； for which he was pleased to pity her； and he would cry out upon fate which had given him a sickly girl for a wife。 The executioner posed； in fact； as the victim。
All the burdens of this dreary lot fell upon the Marquise； who still must smile upon her foolish lord； and deck a house of mourning with flowers； and make a parade of happiness in a countenance wan with secret torture。 And with this sense of responsibility for the honor of both； with the magnificent immolation of self； the young Marquise unconsciously acquired a wifely dignity； a consciousness of virtue which became her safeguard amid many dangers。
Perhaps； if her heart were sounded to the very depths； this intimate closely hidden wretchedness； following upon her unthinking； girlish first love； had roused in her an abhorrence of passion； possibly she had no conception of its rapture； nor of the forbidden but frenzied bliss for which some women will renounce all the laws of prudence and the principles of conduct upon which society is based。 She put from her like a dream the thought of bliss and tender harmony of love promised by Mme。 de Listomere…Landon's mature experience； and waited resignedly for the end of her troubles with a hope that she might die young。
Her health had declined daily since her return from Touraine； her life seemed to be measured to her in suffering； yet her ill…health was graceful； her malady seemed little more than languor； and might well be taken by careless eyes for a fine lady's whim of invalidism。
Her doctors had condemned her to keep to the sofa； and there among her flowers lay the Marquise； fading as they faded。 She was not strong enough to walk； nor to bear the open air； and only went out in a closed carriage。 Yet with all the marvels of modern luxury and invention about her； she looked more like an indolent queen than an invalid。 A few of her friends； half in love perhaps with her sad plight and her fragile look； sure of finding her at home； and speculating no doubt upon her future restoration to health； would come to bring her the news of the day； and kept her informed of the thousand and one small events which fill life in Paris with variety。 Her melancholy； deep and real though it was was still the melancholy of a woman rich in many ways。 The Marquise d'Aiglemont was like a flower； with a dark insect gnawing at its root。
Occasionally she went into society； not to please herself； but in obedience to the exigencies of the position which her husband aspired to take。 In society her beautiful voice and the perfection of her singing could always gain the social success so gratifying to a young woman； but what was social success to her； who drew nothing from it for her heart or her hopes？ Her husband did not care for music。 And； moreover； she seldom felt at her ease in salons； where her beauty attracted homage not wholly disinterested。 Her position excited a sort of cruel compassion； a morbid curiosity。 She was suffering from an inflammatory complaint not infrequently fatal； for which our nosology as yet has found no name； a complaint spoken of among women in confidential whispers。 In spite of the silence in which her life was spent； the cause of her ill…health was no secret。 She was still but a girl in spite of her marriage； the slightest glance threw her into confusion。 In her endeavor not to bl
