a woman of thirty-第14节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


al　as　the　dreadful　disease　which　you　have　cured。　I　do　not　think　that　I　am　to　blame。　No。　My　love　is　stronger　than　I　am；　and　eternal；　but　all　unconsciously　it　grew　in　me；　and　I　will　not　be　guilty　through　my　love。　Nevertheless；　though　I　shall　be　faithful　to　my　conscience　as　a　wife；　to　my　duties　as　a　mother；　I　will　be　no　less　faithful　to　the　instincts　of　my　heart。　Hear　me；〃　she　cried　in　an　unsteady　voice；　〃henceforth　I　belong　to　/him/　no　longer。〃

By　a　gesture；　dreadful　to　see　in　its　undisguised　loathing　she　indicated　her　husband。

〃The　social　code　demands　that　I　shall　make　his　existence　happy；〃　she　continued。　〃I　will　obey；　I　will　be　his　servant；　my　devotion　to　him　shall　be　boundless；　but　from　to…day　I　am　a　widow。　I　will　neither　be　a　prostitute　in　my　own　eyes　nor　in　those　of　the　world。　If　I　do　not　belong　to　M。　d'Aiglemont；　I　will　never　belong　to　another。　You　shall　have　nothing；　nothing　save　this　which　you　have　wrung　from　me。　This　is　the　doom　which　I　have　passed　upon　myself；〃　she　said；　looking　proudly　at　him。　〃And　now；　know　thisif　you　give　way　to　a　single　criminal　thought；　M。　d'Aiglemont's　widow　will　enter　a　convent　in　Spain　or　Italy。　By　an　evil　chance　we　have　spoken　of　our　love；　perhaps　that　confession　was　bound　to　come；　but　our　hearts　must　never　vibrate　again　like　this。　To…morrow　you　will　receive　a　letter　from　England；　and　we　shall　part；　and　never　see　each　other　again。〃

The　effort　had　exhausted　all　Julie's　strength。　She　felt　her　knees　trembling；　and　a　feeling　of　deathly　cold　came　over　her。　Obeying　a　woman's　instinct；　she　sat　down；　lest　she　should　sink　into　Arthur's　arms。

〃/Julie！/〃　cried　Lord　Grenville。

The　sharp　cry　rang　through　the　air　like　a　crack　of　thunder。　Till　then　he　could　not　speak；　now；　all　the　words　which　the　dumb　lover　could　not　utter　gathered　themselves　in　that　heartrending　appeal。

〃Well；　what　is　wrong　with　her？〃　asked　the　General；　who　had　hurried　up　at　that　cry；　and　now　suddenly　confronted　the　two。

〃Nothing　serious；〃　said　Julie；　with　that　wonderful　self…possession　which　a　woman's　quick…wittedness　usually　brings　to　her　aid　when　it　is　most　called　for。　〃The　chill；　damp　air　under　the　walnut　tree　made　me　feel　quite　faint　just　now；　and　that　must　have　alarmed　this　doctor　of　mine。　Does　he　not　look　on　me　as　a　very　nearly　finished　work　of　art？　He　was　startled；　I　suppose；　by　the　idea　of　seeing　it　destroyed。〃　With　ostentatious　coolness　she　took　Lord　Grenville's　arm；　smiled　at　her　husband；　took　a　last　look　at　the　landscape；　and　went　down　the　pathway；　drawing　her　traveling　companion　with　her。

〃This　certainly　is　the　grandest　view　that　we　have　seen；〃　she　said；　〃I　shall　never　forget　it。　Just　look；　Victor；　what　distance；　what　an　expanse　of　country；　and　what　variety　in　it！　I　have　fallen　in　love　with　this　landscape。〃

Her　laughter　was　almost　hysterical；　but　to　her　husband　it　sounded　natural。　She　sprang　gaily　down　into　the　hollow　pathway　and　vanished。

〃What？〃　she　cried；　when　they　had　left　M。　d'Aiglemont　far　behind。　〃So　soon？　Is　it　so　soon？　Another　moment；　and　we　can　neither　of　us　be　ourselves；　we　shall　never　be　ourselves　again；　our　life　is　over；　in　short〃

〃Let　us　go　slowly；〃　said　Lord　Grenville；　〃the　carriages　are　still　some　way　off；　and　if　we　may　put　words　into　our　glances；　our　hearts　may　live　a　little　longer。〃

They　went　along　the　footpath　by　the　river　in　the　late　evening　light；　almost　in　silence；　such　vague　words　as　they　uttered；　low　as　the　murmur　of　the　Loire；　stirred　their　souls　to　the　depths。　Just　as　the　sun　sank；　a　last　red　gleam　from　the　sky　fell　over　them；　it　was　like　a　mournful　symbol　of　their　ill…starred　love。

The　General；　much　put　out　because　the　carriage　was　not　at　the　spot　where　they　had　left　it；　followed　and　outstripped　the　pair　without　interrupting　their　converse。　Lord　Grenville's　high　minded　and　delicate　behavior　throughout　the　journey　had　completely　dispelled　the　Marquis'　suspicions。　For　some　time　past　he　had　left　his　wife　in　freedom；　reposing　confidence　in　the　noble　amateur's　Punic　faith。　Arthur　and　Julie　walked　on　together　in　the　close　and　painful　communion　of　two　hearts　laid　waste。

So　short　a　while　ago　as　they　climbed　the　cliffs　at　Montcontour；　there　had　been　a　vague　hope　in　either　mind；　an　uneasy　joy　for　which　they　dared　not　account　to　themselves；　but　now　as　they　came　along　the　pathway　by　the　river；　they　pulled　down　the　frail　structure　of　imaginings；　the　child's　cardcastle；　on　which　neither　of　them　had　dared　to　breathe。　That　hope　was　over。

That　very　evening　Lord　Grenville　left　them。　His　last　look　at　Julie　made　it　miserably　plain　that　since　the　moment　when　sympathy　revealed　the　full　extent　of　a　tyrannous　passion；　he　did　well　to　mistrust　himself。

The　next　morning；　M。　d'Aiglemont　and　his　wife　took　their　places　in　the　carriage　without　their　traveling　companion；　and　were　whirled　swiftly　along　the　road　to　Blois。　The　Marquise　was　constantly　put　in　mind　of　the　journey　made　in　1814；　when　as　yet　she　know　nothing　of　love；　and　had　been　almost　ready　to　curse　it　for　its　persistency。　Countless　forgotten　impressions　were　revived。　The　heart　has　its　own　memory。　A　woman　who　cannot　recollect　the　most　important　great　events　will　recollect　through　a　lifetime　things　which　appealed　to　her　feelings；　and　Julie　d'Aiglemont　found　all　the　most　trifling　details　of　that　journey　laid　up　in　her　mind。　It　was　pleasant　to　her　to　recall　its　little　incidents　as　they　occurred　to　her　one　by　one；　there　were　points　in　the　road　when　she　could　even　remember　the　thoughts　that　passed　through　her　mind　when　she　saw　them　first。

Victor　had　fallen　violently　in　love　with　his　wife　since　she　had　recovered　the　freshness　of　her　youth　and　all　her　beauty；　and　now　he　pressed　close　to　her　side　like　a　lover。　Once　he　tried　to　put　his　arm　round　her；　but　she　gently　disengaged　herself；　finding　some　excuse　or　other　for　evading　the　harmless　caress。　In　a　little　while　she　shrank　from　the　close　contact　with　Victor；　the　sensation　of　warmth　communicated　by　their　position。　She　tried　to　take　the　unoccupied　place　opposite；　but　Victor　gallantly　resigned　the　back　seat　to　her。　For　this　attention　she　thanked　him　with　a　sigh；　whereupon　he　forgot　himself；　and　the　Don　Juan　of　the　garrison　construed　his　wife's　melancholy　to　his　own　advantage；　so　that　at　the　end　of　the　day　she　was　compelled　to　speak　with　a　firmness　which　impressed　him。

〃You　have　all　but　killed　me；　dear；　once　already；　as　you　know；〃　said　she。　〃If　I　were　still　an　inexperienced　girl；　I　might　begin　to　sacrifice　myself　afresh；　but　I　am　a　mother；　I　have　a　daughter　to　bring　up；　and　I　owe　as　much　to　her　as　to　you。　Let　us　resign　ourselves　to　a　misfortune　which　affects　us　both　alike。　You　are　the　less　to　be　pitied。　Have　you　not；　as　it　is；　found　consolations　which　duty　and　the　honor　of　both；　and　（stronger　still）　which　Nature　forbids　to　me？　Stay；〃　she　added；　〃you　carelessly　left　three　letters　from　Mme。　de　Serizy　in　a　drawer；　here　they　are。　My　silence　about　this　matter　should　make　it　plain　to　you　that　in　me　you　have　a　wife　who　has　plenty　of　indulgence　and　does　not　exact　from　you　the　sacrifices　prescribed　by　the　law。　But　I　have　thought　enough　to　see　that　the　roles　of　husband　and　wife　are　quite　different；　and　that　the　wife　alone　is　predestined　to　misfortune。　My　virtue　is　based　upon　firmly　fixed　and　definite　principles。　I　shall　live　blamelessly；　but　let　me　live。〃

The　Marquis　was　taken　aback　by　a　logic　which　women　grasp　with　the　clear　insight　of　love；　and　overawed　by　a　certain　dignity　natural　to　them　at　such　crises。　Julie's　instinctive　repugnance　for　all　that　jarred　upon　her　love　and　the　instincts　of　her　heart　is　one　of　the　fairest　qualities　of　woman；　and　springs　perhaps　from　a　natural　virtue　which　neither　laws　nor　civilization　can　silence。　And　who　shall　dare　to　blame　women？　If　a　woman　can　silence　the　exclusive　sentiment　which　bids　her　〃forsake　all　other〃　for　the　man　whom　she　loves；　what　is　she　but　a　priest　who　has　lost　his　faith？　If　a　rigid　mind　here　and　there　condemns　Julie　for　a　sort　of　compromise　between　love　and　wifely　duty；　impassioned　souls　will　lay　it　to　her　charge　as　a　crime。　To　be　thus　blamed　by　both　sides　shows　one　of　two　things　very　clearlythat　misery　necessarily　follows　in　the　train　of　broken　laws；　or　else　that　there　are　deplorable　flaws　in　the　institutions　upon　which　society　in　Europe　is　based。



Two　years　went　by。　M。　and　Mme。　d'Aiglemont　went　their　separate　ways；　leading　their　life　in　the　world；　meeting　each　other　more　frequently　abroad　than　at　home；　a　refinement　upon　divorce；　in　which　many　a　marriage　in　the　great　world　is　apt　to　end。

One　evening；　strange　to　say；　found　husband　and　wife　in　their　own　drawing…room。　Mme。　d'Aiglemont　had　been　dining　at　home　with　a　friend；　and　the　General；　who　almost　invariably　dined　in　town；　had　not　gone　out　for　once。

〃There　is　a　pleasant　time　in　store　for　you；　/Madame　la　Marquise/；〃　said　M。　d'Aiglemont；　setting　his　coffee　cup　down　upon　the　table。　He　looked　at　the　guest；　Mme。　de　Wimphen；　and　half…pettishly；　half…　mischievously　added；　〃I　am　starting　off　for　several　days'　sport　with　the　Master　of　the　Hounds。　For　a　whole　week；　at　any　rate；　you　will　be　a　widow　in　good　earnest；　just　what　you　wish　for；　I　suppose。Guillaume；〃　he　said　to　the　servant　who　entered；　〃tell　them　to　put　the　horses　in。〃

Mme。　de　Wimphen　was　the　friend　to　whom　Julie　had　begun　the　letter