the legacy of cain-第62节

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yourself　what's　to　be　done；　specially　if　there　happens　to　be　a
lady　in　the　case。　No　offense；　miss；　it's　in　my　experience　that
there's　generally　a　lady　in　the　case。　Anyhow；　you　can　judge　for
yourself；　and　you'll　know　where　to　find　me　waiting　when　you　want
me　again。〃

〃Suppose　something　happens；〃　I　suggested；　〃that　we　don't　expect？〃

〃I　shan't　lose　my　head；　miss；　whatever　happens。〃

〃All　very　well；　coachman；　but　I　have　only　your　word　for　it。〃　In
the　irritable　state　of　my　mind；　the　man's　confident　way　of
thinking　annoyed　me。

〃Begging　your　pardon；　my　young　lady；　you've　got　（if　I　may　say　so）
what　they　call　a　guarantee。　When　I　was　a　young　man；　I　drove　a　cab
in　London　for　ten　years。　Will　that　do？〃

〃I　suppose　you　mean；〃　I　answered；　〃that　you　have　learned　deceit
in　the　wicked　ways　of　the　great　city。〃

He　took　this　as　a　compliment。　〃Thank　you；　miss。　That's　it
exactly。〃

After　a　long　drive；　or　so　it　seemed　to　my　impatience；　we　passed
the　chaise　drawn　up　at　a　lonely　house；　separated　by　a　front
garden　from　the　road。　In　two　or　three　minutes　more；　we　stopped
where　the　road　took　a　turn；　and　descended　to　lower　ground。　The
farmhouse　which　we　had　left　behind　us　was　known　to　the　driver。　He
led　the　way　to　a　gate　at　the　side　of　the　road；　and　opened　it　for
me。

〃In　your　place；　miss；〃　he　said　slyly；　〃the　private　way　back　is
the　way　I　should　wish　to　take。　Try　it　by　the　fields。　Turn　to　the
right　when　you　have　passed　the　barn；　and　you'll　find　yourself　at
the　back　of　the　house。〃　He　stopped；　and　looked　at　his　big　silver
watch。　〃Half…past　twelve；〃　he　said；　〃the　ChawbaconsI　mean　the
farmhouse　servants；　misswill　be　at　their　dinner。　All　in　your
favor；　so　far。　If　the　dog　happens　to　be　loose；　don't　forget　that
his　name's　Grinder；　call　him　by　his　name；　and　pat　him　before　he
has　time　enough　to　think；　and　he'll　let　you　be。　When　you　want　me；
here　you'll　find　me　waiting　for　orders。〃

I　looked　back　as　I　crossed　the　field。　The　driver　was　sitting　on
the　gate；　smoking　his　pipe；　and　the　horse　was　nibbling　the　grass
at　the　roadside。　Two　happy　animals；　without　a　burden　on　their
minds！

After　passing　the　barn；　I　saw　nothing　of　the　dog。　Far　or　near；　no
living　creature　appeared；　the　servants　must　have　been　at　dinner；
as　the　coachman　had　foreseen。　Arriving　at　a　wooden　fence；　I
opened　a　gate　in　it；　and　found　myself　on　a　bit　of　waste　ground。
On　my　left；　there　was　a　large　duck…pond。　On　my　right；　I　saw　the
fowl…house　and　the　pigstyes。　Before　me　was　a　high　impenetrable
hedge；　and　at　some　distance　behind　itan　orchard　or　a　garden；　as
I　supposed；　filling　the　intermediate　spacerose　the　back　of　the
house。　I　made　for　the　shelter　of　the　hedge；　in　the　fear　that　some
one　might　approach　a　window　and　see　me。　Once　sheltered　from
observation；　I　might　consider　what　I　should　do　next。　It　was
impossible　to　doubt　that　this　was　the　house　in　which　Eunice　was
living。　Neither　could　I　fail　to　conclude　that　Philip　had　tried　to
persuade　her　to　see　him；　on　those　former　occasions　when　he　told
me　he　had　taken　a　long　walk。

As　I　crouched　behind　the　hedge；　I　heard　voices　approaching　on　the
other　side　of　it。　At　last　fortune　had　befriended　me。　The　person
speaking　at　the　moment　was　Miss　Jillgall；　and　the　person　who
answered　her　was　Philip。

〃I　am　afraid；　dear　Mr。　Philip；　you　don't　quite　understand　my
sweet　Euneece。　Honorable；　high　minded；　delicate　in　her　feelings；
and；　oh；　so　unselfish！　I　don't　want　to　alarm　you；　but　when　she
hears　you　have　been　deceiving　Helena〃

〃Upon　my　word；　Miss　Jillgall；　you　are　so　provoking！　I　have　not
been　deceiving　Helena。　Haven't　I　told　you　what　discouraging
answers　I　got；　when　I　went　to　see　the　Governor？　Haven't　I　shown
you　Eunice's　reply　to　my　letter？　You　can't　have　forgotten　it
already？〃

〃Oh；　yes；　I　have。　Why　should　I　remember　it？　Don't　I　know　poor
Euneece　was　in　your　mind；　all　the　time？〃

〃You're　wrong　again！　Eunice　was　not　in　my　mind　all　the　time。　I
was　hurtI　was　offended　by　the　cruel　manner　in　which　she　had
treated　me。　And　what　was　the　consequence？　So　far　was　I　from
deceiving　Helenashe　rose　in　my　estimation　by　comparison　with
her　sister。〃

〃Oh；　come；　come；　Mr。　Philip！　that　won't　do。　Helena　rising　in
anybody's　estimation？　Ha！　ha！　ha！〃

〃Laugh　as　much　as　you　like；　Miss　Jillgall；　you　won't　laugh　away
the　facts。　Helena　loved　me；　Helena　was　true　to　me。　Don't　be　hard
on　a　poor　fellow　who　is　half　distracted。　What　a　man　finds　he　can
do　on　one　day；　he　finds　he　can't　do　on　another。　Try　to　understand
that　a　change　does　sometimes　come　over　one's　feelings。〃

〃Bless　my　soul；　Mr。　Philip；　that's　just　what　I　have　been
understanding　all　the　time！　I　know　your　mind　as　well　as　you　know
it　yourself。　You　can't　forget　my　sweet　Euneece。〃

〃I　tell　you　I　tried　to　forget　her！　On　my　word　of　honor　as　a
gentleman；　I　tried　to　forget　her；　in　justice　to　Helena。　Is　it　my
fault　that　I　failed？　Eunice　was　in　my　mind；　as　you　said　just　now。
Oh；　my　friendfor　you　are　my　friend；　I　am　surepersuade　her　to
see　me；　if　it's　only　for　a　minute！〃

（Was　there　ever　a　man's　mind　in　such　a　state　of　confusion　as
this！　First；　I　rise　in　his　precious　estimation；　and　Eunice　drops。
Then　Eunice　rises；　and　I　drop。　Idiot！　Mischievous　idiot！　Even
Selina　seemed　to　be　disgusted　with　him；　when　she　spoke　next。）

〃Mr。　Philip；　you　are　hard　and　unreasonable。　I　have　tried　to
persuade　her；　and　I　have　made　my　darling　cry。　Nothing　you　can　say
will　induce　me　to　distress　her　again。　Go　back；　you　very
undetermined　mango　back　to　your　Helena。〃

〃Too　late。〃

〃Nonsense！〃

〃I　say　too　late。　If　I　could　have　married　Helena　when　I　first　went
to
　stay　in　the　house；　I　might　have　faced　the　sacrifice。　As　it　is；　I
can't　endure　her；　and　（I　tell　you　this　in　confidence）　she　has
herself　to　thank　for　what　has　happened。〃

〃Is　that　really　true？〃

〃Quite　true。〃

〃Tell　me　what　she　did。

〃Oh；　don't　talk　of　her！　Persuade　Eunice　to　see　me。　I　shall　come
back　again；　and　again；　and　again　till　you　bring　her　to　me。〃

〃Please　don't　talk　nonsense。　If　she　changes　her　mind；　I　will
bring　her　with　pleasure。　If　she　still　shrinks　from　it；　I　regard
Euneece's　feelings　as　sacred。　Take　my　advice；　don't　press　her。
Leave　her　time　to　think　of　you；　and　to　pity　youand　that　true
heart　may　be　yours　again；　if　you　are　worthy　of　it。〃

〃Worthy　of　it？　What　do　you　mean？〃

〃Are　you　quite　sure；　my　young　friend；　that　you　won't　go　back　to
Helena？〃

〃Go　back　to　_her？_　I　would　cut　my　throat　if　I　thought　myself
capable　of　doing　it！〃

〃How　did　she　set　you　against　her？　Did　the　wretch　quarrel　with
you？〃

〃It　might　have　been　better　for　both　of　us　if　she　had　done　that。
Oh；　her　fulsome　endearments！　What　a　contrast　to　the　charming
modesty　of　Eunice！　If　I　was　rich；　I　would　make　it　worth　the　while
of　the　first　poor　fellow　I　could　find　to　rid　me　of　Helena　by
marrying　her。　I　don't　like　saying　such　a　thing　of　a　woman；　but　if
you　will　have　the　truth〃

〃Well；　Mr。　Philipand　what　is　the　truth？〃

〃Helena　disgusts　me。〃


CHAPTER　LVII。

HELENA'S　DIARY　RESUMED。


So　it　was　all　settled　between　them。　Philip　is　to　throw　me　away；
like　one　of　his　bad　cigars；　for　this　unanswerable　reason：　〃Helena
disgusts　me。〃　And　he　is　to　persuade　Eunice　to　take　my　place；　and
be　his　wife。　Yes！　if　I　let　him　do　it。

I　heard　no　more　of　their　talk。　With　that　last；　worst　outrage
burning　in　my　memory；　I　left　the　place。

On　my　way　back　to　the　carriage；　the　dog　met　me。　Truly；　a　grand
creature。　I　called　him　by　his　name；　and　patted　him。　He　licked　my
hand。　Something　made　me　speak　to　him。　I　said：　〃If　I　was　to　tell
you　to　tear　Mr。　Philip　Dunboyne　to　pieces；　would　you　do　it？〃　The
great　good…natured　brute　held　out　his　paw　to　shake　hands。　Well！
well！　I　was　not　an　object　of　disgust　to　the　dog。

But　the　coachman　was　startled；　when　he　saw　me　again。　He　said
something；　I　did　not　know　what　it　was；　and　he　produced　a
pocket…flask；　containing　some　spirits；　I　suppose。　Perhaps　he
thought　I　was　going　to　faint。　He　little　knew　me。　I　told　him　to
drive　back　to　the　place　at　which　I　had　hired　the　cab；　and　earn
his　money。　He　earned　it。

On　getting　home；　I　found　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　walking　up　and　down　the
dining…room；　deep　in　thought。　She　was　startled　when　we　first
confronted　each　other。　〃You　look　dreadfully　ill；〃　she　said。

I　answered　that　I　had　been　out　for　a　little　exercise；　and　had
over…fatigued　myself；　and　then　changed　the　subject。　〃Does　my
father　seem　to　improve　under　your　treatment？〃　I　asked。

〃Very　far　from　it；　my　dear。　I　promised　that　I　would　try　what
Massage　would　do　for　him；　and　I　find　myself　compelled　to　give　it
up。〃

〃Why？〃

〃It　excites　him　dreadfully。〃

〃In　what　way？〃

〃He　has　been　talking　wildly　of　events　in　his　past　life。　His　brain
is　in　some　condition　which　is　beyond　my　powers　of　investigation。
He　pointed　to　a　cabinet　in　his　room；　and　said　his　past　life　was
locked　up　there。　I　asked　if　I　should　unlock　it。　He　shook　with
fear；　he　said　I　should　let　out　the　ghost　of　his　dead
brother…in…law。　Have　you　any　idea　of　what　he　meant？〃

The　cabinet　was　full　of　old　letters。　I　could　tell　her　thatand
could　tell　her　no　more。　I　had　never　heard　of　his　brother…in…law。
Another　of　his　delusions；　no　doubt。　〃Did　you　ever　hear　him
speak；〃　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　went　on；　〃of　a　place　called　Low　Lanes？〃

She　wa