the legacy of cain-第60节

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herself？'　'Yes；　of　her　own　free　will。'　'Why　did　she　refuse　to　see
me　when　I　called　at　the　farm？'　'She　had　her　own　reasonsgood
reasons。'　'Has　she　regretted　it　since？'　'Certainly　not。'　'Is　it
likely　that　she　would　consent；　if　I　proposed　a　reconciliation？'
'I　put　that　question　to　her　myself。'　'How　did　she　take　it；　sir？'
'She　declined　to　take　it。'　'You　mean　that　she　declined　a
reconciliation？'　'Yes。'　'Are　you　sure　she　was　in　earnest？'　'I　am
positively　sure。'　That　last　answer　seems；　by　young　Dunboyne's　own
confession；　to　have　been　enough；　and　more　than　enough　for　him。　He
got　up　to　goand　then　an　odd　thing　happened。　After　giving　him
the　most　unfavorable　answers；　the　Governor　patted　him　paternally
on　the　shoulder；　and　encouraged　him　to　hope。　'Before　we　say
good…by；　Mr。　Philip；　one　word　more。　If　I　was　as　young　as　you　are；
I　should　not　despair。'　There　is　a　sudden　change　of　front！　Who　can
explain　it？〃

The　Governor's　mischievous　resolution　to　reconcile　Philip　and
Eunice　explained　it；　of　course。　With　the　best　intentions
（perhaps）　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　had　helped　that　design　by　bringing　the
two　men　together。　〃Go　on；〃　I　said；　〃I　am　prepared　to　hear　next
that　Philip　has　paid　another　visit　to　my　sister；　and　has　been
received　this　time。〃

I　must　say　this　for　Mrs。　Tenbruggen：　she　kept　her　temper
perfectly。

〃He　has　not　been　to　the　farm；〃　she　said；　〃but　he　has　done
something　nearly　as　foolish。　He　has　written　to　your　sister。〃

〃And　he　has　received　a　favorable　reply；　of　course？〃

She　put　her　hand　into　the　pocket　of　her　dress。

〃There　is　your　sister's　reply；〃　she　said。

Any　persons　who　have　had　a　crushing　burden　lifted；　unexpectedly
and　instantly；　from　off　their　minds；　will　know　what　I　felt　when　I
read　the　reply。　In　the　most　positive　language；　Eunice　refused　to
correspond　with　Philip；　or　to　speak　with　him。　The　concluding
words　proved　that　she　was　in　earnest。　〃You　are　engaged　to　Helena。
Consider　me　as　a　stranger　until　you　are　married。　After　that　time
you　will　be　my　brother…in…law；　and　then　I　may　pardon　you　for
writing　to　me。〃

Nobody　who　knows　Eunice　would　have　supposed　that　she　possessed
those　two　valuable　qualitiescommon…sense　and　proper　pride。　It
is　pleasant　to　feel　that　I　can　now　send　cards　to　my　sister；　when
I　am　Mrs。　Philip　Dunboyne。

I　returned　the　letter　to　Mrs。　Tenbruggen；　with　the　sincerest
expressions　of　regret　for　having　doubted　her。　〃I　have　been
unworthy　of　your　generous　interest　in　me；〃　I　said；　〃I　am　almost
ashamed　to　offer　you　my　hand。〃

She　took　my　hand；　and　gave　it　a　good；　heady　shake。

〃Are　we　friends？〃　she　asked；　in　the　simplest　and　prettiest
manner。　〃Then　let　us　be　easy　and　pleasant　again；〃　she　went　on。
〃Will　you　call　me　Elizabeth；　and　shall　I　call　you　Helena？　Very
well。　Now　I　have　got　something　else　to　say；　another　secret　which
must　be　kept　from　Philip　（I　call　_him_　by　his　name　now；　you　see）
for　a　few　days　more。　Your　happiness；　my　dear；　must　not　depend　on
his　miserly　old　father。　He　must　have　a　little　income　of　his　own
to　marry　on。　Among　the　hundreds　of　unfortunate　wretches　whom　I
have　relieved　from　torture　of　mind　and　body；　there　is　a　grateful
minority。　Small！　small！　but　there　they　are。　I　have　influence
among　powerful　people；　and　I　am　trying　to　make　Philip　private
secretary　to　a　member　of　Parliament。　When　I　have　succeeded；　you
shall　tell　him　the　good　news。〃

What　a　vile　humor　I　must　have　been　in；　at　the　time；　not　to　have
appreciated　the　delightful　gayety　of　this　good　creature；　I　went
to　the　other　extreme　now；　and　behaved　like　a　gushing　young　miss
fresh　from　school。　I　kissed　her。

She　burst　out　laughing。　〃What　a　sacrifice！〃　she　cried。　〃A　kiss
for　me；　which　ought　to　have　been　kept　for　Philip！　By…the…by；　do
you　know　what　I　should　do；　Helena；　in　your　place？　I　should　take
our　handsome　young　man　away　from　that　hotel！〃

〃I　will　do　anything　that　you　advise；〃　I　said。

〃And　you　will　do　well；　my　child。　In　the　first　place；　the　hotel　is
too　expensive　for　Philip's　small　means。　In　the　second　place；　two
of　the　chambermaids　have　audaciously　presumed　to　be　charming
girls；　and　the　men；　my　dearwell！　well！　I　will　leave　you　to　find
that　out　for　yourself。　In　the　third　place；　you　want　to　have
Philip　under　your　own　wing；　domestic　familiarity　will　make　him
fonder　of　you　than　ever。　Keep　him　out　of　the　sort　of　company　that
he　meets　with　in　the　billiard…room　and　the　smoking…room。　You　have
got　a　spare　bed　here；　I　know；　and　your　poor　father　is　in　no
condition　to　use　his　authority。　Make　Philip　one　of　the　family。〃

This　last　piece　of　advice　staggered　me。　I　mentioned　the
Proprieties。　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　laughed　at　the　Proprieties。

〃Make　Selina　of　some　use；〃　she　suggested。　〃While　you　have　got
_her_　in　the　house；　Propriety　is　rampant。　Why　condemn　poor
helpless　Philip　to　cheap　lodgings？　Time　enough　to　cast　him　out　to
the　feather…bed　and　the　fleas　on　the　night　before　your　marriage。
Besides；　I　shall　be　in　and　out　constantlyfor　I　mean　to　cure
your　father。　The　tongue　of　scandal　is　silent　in　my　awful
presence；　an　atmosphere　of　virtue　surrounds　Mamma　Tenbruggen。
Think　of　it。〃


CHAPTER　LV。

HELENA'S　DIARY　RESUMED。


I　DID　think　of　it。　Philip　came　to　us；　and　lived　in　our　house。

Let　me　hasten　to　add　that　the　protest　of　Propriety　was　duly
entered；　on　the　day　before　my　promised　husband　arrived。　Standing
in　the　doorwaynothing　would　induce　her　to　take　a　chair；　or　even
to　enter　the　roomMiss　Jillgall　delivered　her　opinion　on
Philip's　approaching　visit。　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　reported　it　in　her
pocket…book；　as　if　she　was　representing　a　newspaper　at　a　public
meeting。　Here　it　is；　copied　from　her　notes：

〃Miss　Helena　Gracedieu；　my　first　impulse　under　the　present
disgusting　circumstances　was　to　leave　the　house；　and　earn　a　bare
crust　in　the　cheapest　garret　I　could　find　in　the　town。　But　my
grateful　heart　remembers　Mr。　Gracedieu。　My　poor　afflicted　cousin
was　good　to　me　when　I　was　helpless。　I　cannot　forsake　him　when
_he_　is　helpless。　At　whatever　sacrifice　of　my　own　self…respect；　I
remain　under　this　roof；　so　dear　to　me　for　the　Minister's　sake。　I
notice；　miss；　that　you　smile。　I　see　my　once　dear　Elizabeth；　the
friend　who　has　so　bitterly　disappointed　me〃　she　stopped；　and
put　her　handkerchief　to　her　eyes；　and　went　on　again〃the　friend
who　has　so　bitterly　disappointed　me；　taking　satirical　notes　of
what　I　say。　I　am　not　ashamed　of　what　I　say。　The　virtue　which　will
not　stretch　a　little；　where　the　motive　is　good；　is　feeble　virtue
indeed。　I　shall　stay　in　the　house；　and　witness　horrors；　and　rise
superior　to　them。　Good…morning；　Miss　Gracedieu。　Good…morning；
Elizabeth。〃　She　performed　a　magnificent　curtsey；　and　（as　Mrs。
Tenbruggen's　experience　of　the　stage　informed　me）　made　a　very
creditable　exit。


A　week　has　passed；　and　I　have　not　opened　my　Diary。

My　days　have　glided　away　in　one　delicious　flow　of　happiness。
Philip　has　been　delightfully　devoted　to　me。　His　fervent
courtship；　far　exceeding　any　similar　attentions　which　he　may　once
have　paid　to　Eunice；　has　shown　such　variety　and　such
steadfastness　of　worship；　that　I　despair　of　describing　it。　My
enjoyment　of　my　new　life　is　to　be　feltnot　to　be　coldly
considered；　and　reduced　to　an　imperfect　statement　in　words。

For　the　first　time　I　feel　capable；　if　the　circumstances
encouraged　me；　of　acts　of　exalted　virtue。　For　instance；　I　could
save　my　co　untry　if　my　country　was　worth　it。　I　could　die　a　martyr
to　religion　if　I　had　a　religion。　In　one　word；　I　am　exceedingly
well　satisfied　with　myself。　The　little　disappointments　of　life
pass　over　me　harmless。　I　do　not　even　regret　the　failure　of　good
Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　efforts　to　find　an　employment　for　Philip；
worthy　of　his　abilities　and　accomplishments。　The　member　of
Parliament　to　whom　she　had　applied　has　chosen　a　secretary
possessed　of　political　influence。　That　is　the　excuse　put　forward
in　his　letter　to　Mrs。　Tenbruggen。　Wretched　corrupt　creature！　If
he　was　worth　a　thought　I　should　pity　him。　He　has　lost　Philip's
services。


Three　days　more　have　slipped　by。　The　aspect　of　my　heaven　on　earth
is　beginning　to　alter。

Perhaps　the　author　of　that　wonderful　French　novel；　〃L'Ame
Damne'e；〃　is　right　when　he　tells　us　that　human　happiness　is
misery　in　masquerade。　It　would　be　wrong　to　say　that　I　am
miserable。　But　I　may　be　on　the　way　to　it；　I　am　anxious。

To…day；　when　he　did　not　know　that　I　was　observing　him；　I
discovered　a　preoccupied　look　in　Philip's　eyes。　He　laughed　when　I
asked　if　anything　had　happened　to　vex　him。　Was　it　a　natural
laugh？　He　put　his　arm　round　me　and　kissed　me。　Was　it　done
mechanically？　I　daresay　I　am　out　of　humor　myself。　I　think　I　had　a
little　headache。　Morbid；　probably。　I　won't　think　of　it　any　more。


It　has　occurred　to　me　this　morning　that　he　may　dislike　being　left
by　himself；　while　I　am　engaged　in　my　household　affairs。　If　this
is　the　case；　intensely　as　I　hate　her；　utterly　as　I　loathe　the
idea　of　putting　her　in　command　over　my　domestic　dominions；　I
shall　ask　Miss　Jillgall　to　take　my　place　as　housekeeper。

I　was　away　to…day　in　the　kitchen　regions　rather　longer　than
usual。　When　I　had　done　with　my　worries；　Philip　was　not　to　be
found。　Maria；　looking　out　of　one　of　the　bedroom　windows　instead
of　doing　her　work；　had　seen　Mr。　Dunboyne　leave　the　house。　It　was
possible　t