the legacy of cain-第57节

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give　it　up。'　She　looked　at　her　watch；　it　was　time　to　operate　on
the　muscles　of　one　of　her　patients。　Away　she　went；　on　her
glorious　mission　of　Massage；　without　a　murmur　of　regret。　What
strength　of　mind！　But；　oh；　dear；　what　a　disappointment　for　poor
little　me！　On　one　thing　I　am　determined。　If　I　find　myself　getting
puzzled　or　frightened；　I　shall　instantly　write　to　you。〃

With　that　expression　of　confidence　in　me；　Selina's　narrative　came
to　an　end。　I　wish　I　could　have　believed；　as　she　did；　that　the
object　of　her　admiration　had　been　telling　her　the　truth。

A　few　days　later；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　honored　me　with　a　visit　at　my
house　in　the　neighborhood　of　London。　Thanks　to　this　circumstance；
I　am　able　to　add　a　postscript　which　will　complete　the　revelations
in　Miss　Jillgall's　letter。

The　illustrious　Masseuse；　having　much　to　conceal　from　her
faithful　Selina；　was　well　aware　that　she　had　only　one　thing　to
keep　hidden　from　me；　namely；　the　advantage　which　she　would　have
gained　if　her　inquiries　had　met　with　success。

〃I　thought　I　might　have　got　at　what　I　wanted；〃　she　told　me；　〃by
mesmerizing　our　reverend　friend。　He　is　as　weak　as　a　woman；　I
threw　him　into　hysterics；　and　had　to　give　it　up；　and　quiet　him；
or　he　would　have　alarmed　the　house。　You　look　as　if　you　don't
believe　in　mesmerism。〃

〃My　looks；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen；　exactly　express　my　opinion。　Mesmerism
is　a　humbug！〃

〃You　amusing　old　Tory！　Shall　I　throw　you　into　a　state　of　trance？
No！　I'll　give　you　a　shock　of　another　kinda　shock　of　surprise。　I
know　as　much　as　you　do　about　Mr。　Gracedieu's　daughters。　What　do
you　think　of　that？〃

〃　I　think　I　should　like　to　hear　you　tell　me；　which　is　the　adopted
child。〃

〃Helena；　to　be　sure！〃

Her　manner　was　defiant；　her　tone　was　positive；　I　doubted　both。
Under　the　surface　of　her　assumed　confidence；　I　saw　something
which　told　me　that　she　was　trying　to　read　my　thoughts　in　my　face。
Many　other　women　had　tried　to　do　that。　They　succeeded　when　I　was
young。　When　I　had　reached　the　wrong　side　of　fifty；　my　face　had
learned　discretion；　and　they　failed。

〃How　did　you　arrive　at　your　discovery？〃　I　asked。　〃I　know　of
nobody　who　could　have　helped　you。〃

〃I　helped　myself；　sir！　I　reasoned　it　out。　A　wonderful　thing　for　a
woman　to　do；　isn't　it？　I　wonder　whether　you　could　follow　the
process？〃

My　reply　to　this　was　made　by　a　bow。　I　was　sure　of　my　command　over
my　face；　but　perfect　control　of　the　voice　is　a　rare　power。　Here
and　there；　a　great　actor　or　a　great　criminal　possesses　it。

Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　vanity　took　me　into　her　confidence。　〃In　the
first　place；〃　she　said；　〃Helena　is　plainly　the　wicked　one　of　the
two。　I　was　not　prejudiced　by　what　Selina　had　told　me　of　her：　I
saw　it；　and　felt　it；　before　I　had　been　five　minutes　in　her
company。　If　lying　tongues　ever　provoke　her　as　lying　tongues
provoked　her　mother；　she　will　follow　her　mother's　example。　Very
well。　Nowin　the　second　placethough　it　is　very　slight；　there
is　a　certain　something　in　her　hair　and　her　complexion　which
reminds　me　of　the　murderess：　there　is　no　other　resemblance；　I
admit。　In　the　third　place；　the　girls'　names　point　to　the　same
conclusion。　Mr。　Gracedieu　is　a　Protestant　and　a　Dissenter。　Would
he　call　a　child　of　his　own　by　the　name　of　a　Roman　Catholic　saint？
No！　he　would　prefer　a　name　in　the　Bible；　Eunice　is　_his_　child。
And　Helena　was　once　the　baby　whom　I　carried　into　the　prison。　Do
you　deny　that？〃

〃I　don't　deny　it。〃

Only　four　words！　But　they　were　deceitfully　spoken；　and　the
deceitpracticed　in　Eunice's　interest；　it　is　needless　to
saysucceeded。　Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　object　in　visiting　me　was
attained；　I　had　confirmed　her　belief　in　the　delusion　that　Helena
was　the　adopted　child。

She　got　up　to　take　her　leave。　I　asked　if　she　proposed　remaining
in　London。　No；　she　was　returning　to　her　country　patients　that
night。

As　I　attended　her　to　the　house…door；　she　turned　to　me　with　her
mischievous　smile。　〃I　have　taken　some　trouble　in　finding　the　clew
to　the　Minister's　mystery；〃　she　said。　〃Don't　you　wonder　why？〃

〃If　I　did　wonder；〃　I　answered；　〃would　you　tell　me　why？〃

She　laughed　at　the　bare　idea　of　it。　〃Another　lesson；〃　she　said；
〃to　assist　a　helpless　man　in　studying　the　weaker　sex。　I　have
already　shown　you　that　a　woman　can　reason。　Learn　next　that　a
woman　can　keep　a　secret。　Good…by。　God　bless　you！〃

Of　the　events　which　followed　Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　visit　it　is　not
possible　for　me；　I　am　thankful　to　say；　to　speak　from　personal
experience。　Ought　I　to　conclude　with　an　expression　of　repentance
for　the　act　of　deception　to　which　I　have　already　pleaded　guilty？
I　don't　know。　Yes！　the　force　of　circumstances　does　really　compel
me　to　say　it；　and　say　it　seriouslyI　declare；　on　my　word　of
honor；　I　don't　know。


Third　period：　1876。

_HELENA'S　DIARY　RESUMED。_


CHAPTER　LII。

HELENA'S　DIARY　RESUMED。



WHILE　my　father　remains　in　his　present　helpless　condition；
somebody　must　assume　a　position　of　command　in　this　house。　There
cannot　be　a　moment's　doubt　that　I　am　the　person　to　do　it。

In　my　agitated　state　of　mind；　sometimes　doubtful　of　Philip；
sometimes　hopeful　of　him；　I　find　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　simply
unendurable。　A　female　doctor　is；　under　any　circumstances；　a
creature　whom　I　detest。　She　is；　at　her　very　best；　a　bad　imitation
of　a　man。　The　Medical　Rubber　is　worse　than　this；　she　is　a　bad
imitation　of　a　mountebank。　Her　grinning　good…humor；　adopted　no
doubt　to　please　the　fools　who　are　her　patients；　and　her　impudent
enjoyment　of　hearing　herself　talk；　make　me　regret　for　the　first
time　in　my　life　that　I　am　a　young　lady。　If　I　belonged　to　the
lowest　order　of　the　population；　I　might　take　the　first　stick　I
could　find；　and　enjoy　the　luxury　of　giving　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　a　good
beating。

She　literally　haunts　the　house；　encouraged；　of　course；　by　her
wretched　little　dupe；　Miss　Jillgall。　Only　this　morning；　I　tried
what　a　broad　hint　would　do　toward　suggesting　that　her　visits　had
better　come　to　an　end。

〃Really；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen；〃　I　said；　〃I　must　request　Miss　Jillgall
to　moderate　her　selfish　enjoyment　of　your　company；　for　your　own
sake。　Your　time　is　too　valuable；　in　a　professional　sense；　to　be
wasted　on　an　idle　woman　who　has　no　sympathy　with　your　patients；
waiting　for　relief　perhaps；　and　waiting　in　vain。

She　listened　to　this；　all　smiles　and　good…humor：　〃My　dear；　do　you
know　how　I　might　answer　you；　if　I　was　an　ill…natured　woman？〃

〃I　have　no　curiosity　to　hear　it；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen。〃

〃I　might　ask　you；〃　she　persisted；　〃to　allow　me　to　mind　my　own
business。　But　I　am　incapable　of　making　an　ungrateful　return　for
the　interest　which　you　take　in　my　medical　welfare。　Let　me　venture
to　ask　if　you　understand　the　value　of　time。〃

〃Are　you　going　to　say　much　more；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen？〃

〃I　am　going　to　make　a　sensible　remark；　my　child。　If　you　feel
tired；　permit　mehere　is　a　chair。　Father　Time；　dear　Miss
Gracedieu；　has　always　been　a　good　friend　of　mine；　because　I　know
how　to　make　the　best　use　of　him。　The　author　of　the　famous　saying
_Tempus　fugit_　（you　understand　Latin；　of　course）　was；　I　take
leave　to　think；　an　idle　man。　The　more　I　have　to　do；　the　readier
Time　is　to　wait　for　me。　Let　me　impress　this　on　your　mind　by　some
interesting　examples。　The　greatest　conqueror　of　the
centuryNapoleonhad　time　enough　for　everything。　The　greatest
novelist　of　the　centurySir　Walter　Scotthad　time　enough　for
everything。　At　my　humble　distance；　I　imitate　those　illustrious
men；　and　my　patients　never　complain　of　me。〃

〃Have　you　done？〃　I　asked。

〃Yes；　dearfor　the　present。〃

〃You　are　a　clever　woman；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　and　you　know　it。　You
have　an　eloquent　tongue；　and　you　know　it。　But　you　are　something
else；　which　you　don't　seem　to　be　aware　of。　You　are　a　Bore。〃

She　burst　out　laughing；　with　the　air　of　a　woman　who　thoroughly
enjoyed　a　good　joke。　I　looked　back　when　I　left　the　room；　and　saw
the　friend　of　Father　Time　in　the　easy　chair　opening　our
newspaper。

This　is　a　specimen　of　the　customary　encounter　of　our　wits。　I
place　it　on　record　in　my　Journal；　to　excuse　myself　_to_　myself。
When　she　left　us　at　last；　later　in　the　day；　I　sent　a　letter　after
her　to　the　hotel。　Not　having　kept　a　copy　of　it；　let　me　present
the　substance；　like　a　sermon；　under　three　heads：　I　begged　to　be
excused　for　speaking　plainly；　I　declared　that　there　was　a　total
want　of　sympathy　between　us；　on　my　side；　and　I　proposed　that　she
should　deprive　me　of　future　opportunities　of　receiving　her　in
this　house。　The　reply　arrived　immediately　in　these　terms：　〃Your
letter　received；　dear　girl。　I　am　not　in　the　least　angry；　partly
because　I　am　very　fond　of　you；　partly　because　I　know　that　you
will　ask　me　to　come　back　again。　P。　SPhilip　sends　his　love。〃

This　last　piece　of　insolence　was　unquestionably　a　lie。　Philip
detests　her。　They　are　both　staying　at　the　same　hotel。　But　I
happen　to　know　that　he　won't　even　look　at　her；　if　they　meet　by
accident　on　the　stairs。

People　who　can　enjoy　the　melancholy　spectacle　of　human　nature　in
a　state　of　degradation　would　be　at　a　loss　which　exhibition　to
preferan　ugly　old　maid　in　a　rage；　or　an　ugly　old　maid　in　tears。
Miss　Jillgall　presented　herself　in　both　characters　when　she　heard
what　had　happened。　To　my　mind；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　bosom…friend　is
a　creature　not　fit　to　be　seen　or　heard　when　sh