the legacy of cain-第54节

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with　agricultural　pursuits；　nor　did　I　hear　him　grumble　about　the
weather　and　the　crops。　It　was　pleasant　to　see　that　his　wife　was
proud　of　him；　and　that　he　was；　what　all　fathers　ought　to　be；　his
children's　best　and　dearest　friend。　Why　do　I　dwell　on　these
details；　relating　to　a　man　whom　I　was　not　destined　to　see　again？
Only　because　I　had　reason　to　feel　grateful　to　him。　When　my
spirits　were　depressed　by　anxiety；　he　made　my　mind　easy　about
Eunice；　as　long　as　she　remained　in　his　house。

The　social　arrangements；　when　our　meal　was　over；　fell　of
themselves　into　the　right　train。

Miss　Jillgall　went　upstairs；　with　the　mother　and　the　children；　to
see　the　nursery　and　the　bedrooms。　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　discovered　a
bond　of　union　between　the　farmer　and　herself；　they　were　both
skilled　players　at　backgammon；　and　they　sat　down　to　try
conclusions　at　their　favorite　game。　Without　any　wearisome
necessity　for　excuses　or　stratagems；　Eunice　took　my　arm　and　led
me　to　the　welcome　retirement　of　her　own　sitting…room。

I　could　honestly　congratulate　her；　when　I　heard　that　she　was
established　at　the　farm　as　a　member　of　the　family。　While　she　was
governess　to　the　children；　she　was　safe　from　dangers　that　might
have　threatened　her；　if　she　had　been　compelled　by　circumstances
to　return　to　the　Minister's　house。

The　entry　in　her　Journal；　which　she　was　anxious　that　I　should
read；　was　placed　before　me　next。


I　followed　the　poor　child's　account　of　the　fearful　night　that　she
had　passed；　with　an　interest　that　held　me　breathless　to　the　end。
A　terrible　dream；　which　had　impressed　a　sense　of　its　reality　on
the　sleeper　by　reaching　its　climax　in　somnambulismthis　was　the
obvious　explanation；　no　doubt；　and　a　rational　mind　would　not
hesitate　to　accept　it。　But　a　rational　mind　is　not　a　universal
gift；　even　in　a　country　which　prides　itself　on　the　idol…worship
of　Fact。　Those　good　friends　who　are　always　better　acquainted　with
our　faults；　failings；　and　weaknesses　than　we　can　pretend　to　be
ourselves；　had　long　since　discovered　that　my　nature　was
superstitious；　and　my　imagination　likely　to　mislead　me　in　the
presence　of　events　which　encouraged　it。　Well！　I　was　weak　enough
to　recoil　from　the　purely　rational　view　of　all　that　Eunice　had
suffered；　and　heard；　and　seen；　on　the　fateful　night　recorded　in
her　Journal。　Good　and　Evil　walk　the　ways　of　this　unintelligible
world；　on　the　same　free　conditions。　If　we　cling；　as　many　of　us
do；　to　the　comforting　belief　that　departed　spirits　can　minister
to　earthly　creatures　for　goodcan　be　felt　moving　in　us；　in　a
train　of　thought；　and　seen　as　visible　manifestations；　in　a
dreamwith　what　pretense　of　reason　can　we　deny　that　the　same
freedom　of　supernatural　influence　which　is　conceded　to　the
departed　spirit；　working　for　good；　is　also　permitted　to　the
departed　spirit；　working　for　evil？　If　the　grave　cannot　wholly
part　mother　and　child；　when　the　mother's　life　has　been　good；　does
eternal　annihilation　separate　them；　when　the　mother's　life　has
been　wicked？　No！　If　the　departed　spirit　can　bring　with　it　a
blessing；　the　departed　spirit　can　bring　with　it　a　curse。　I　dared
not　confess　to　Eunice　that　the　influence　of　her　murderess…mother
might；　as　I　thought　possible；　have　been　supernaturally　present
when　she　heard　temptation　whispering　in　her　ear；　but　I　dared　not
deny　it　to　myself。　All　that　I　could　say　to　satisfy　and　sustain
her；　I　did　say。　And　when　I　declaredwith　my　whole　heart
declaredthat　the　noble　passion　which　had　elevated　her　whole
being；　and　had　triumphed　over　the　sorest　trials　that　desertion
could　inflict；　would　still　triumph　to　the　end；　I　saw　hope；　in
that　brave　and　true　heart；　showing　its　bright　promise　for　the
future　in　Eunice's　eyes。

She　closed　and　locked　her　Journal。　By　common　consent　we　sought
the　relief　of　changing　the　subject。　Eunice　asked　me　if　it　was
really　necessary　that　I　should　return　to　London。

I　shrank　from　telling　her　that　I　could　be　of　no　further　use　to
her　father；　while　he　regarded　me　with　an　enmity　which　I　had　not
deserved。　But　I　saw　no　reason　for　concealing　that　it　was　my
purpose　to　see　Philip　Dunboyne。

〃You　told　me　　yesterday；〃　I　reminded　her；　〃that　I　was　to　say　you
had　forgiven　him。　Do　you　still　wish　me　to　do　that？〃

〃Indeed　I　do！〃

〃Have　you　thought　of　it　seriously？　Are　you　sure　of　not　having
been　hurried　by　a　generous　impulse　into　saying　more　than　you
mean？〃

〃I　have　been　thinking　of　it；〃　she　said；　〃through　the　wakeful
hours　of　last　nightand　many　things　are　plain　to　me；　which　I　was
not　sure　of　in　the　time　when　I　was　so　happy。　He　has　caused　me　the
bitterest　sorrow　of　my　life；　but　he　can't　undo　the　good　that　I
owe　to　him。　He　has　made　a　better　girl　of　me；　in　the　time　when　his
love　was　mine。　I　don't　forget　that。　Miserably　as　it　has　ended；　I
don't　forget　that。〃

Her　voice　trembled；　the　tears　rose　in　her　eyes。　It　was　impossible
for　me　to　conceal　the　distress　that　I　felt。　The　noble　creature
saw　it。　〃No；〃　she　said　faintly；　〃I　am　not　going　to　cry。　Don't
look　so　sorry　for　me。〃　Her　hand　pressed　my　hand　gently_she_
pitied　_me。_　When　I　saw　how　she　struggled　to　control　herself；　and
did　control　herself；　I　declare　to　God　I　could　have　gone　down　on
my　knees　before　her。

She　asked　to　be　allowed　to　speak　of　Philip　again；　and　for　the
last　time。

〃When　you　meet　with　him　in　London；　he　may　perhaps　ask　if　you　have
seen　Eunice。〃

〃My　child！　he　is　sure　to　ask。〃

〃Break　it　to　him　gentlybut　don't　let　him　deceive　himself。　In
this　world；　he　must　never　hope　to　see　me　again。〃

I　triedvery　gentlyto　remonstrate。　〃At　your　age；　and　at　his
age；〃　I　said；　〃surely　there　is　hope？〃

〃There　is　no　hope。〃　She　pressed　her　hand　on　her　heart。　〃I　know
it；　I　feel　it；　here。〃

〃Oh；　Eunice；　it's　hard　for　me　to　say　that！〃

〃I　will　try　to　make　it　easier　for　you。　Say　that　I　have　forgiven
himand　say　no　more。〃


CHAPTER　XLIX。

THE　GOVERNOR　ON　HIS　GUARD。


AFTER　leaving　Eunice；　my　one　desire　was　to　be　alone。　I　had　much
to　think　of；　and　I　wanted　an　opportunity　of　recovering　myself。　On
my　way　out　of　the　house；　in　search　of　the　first　solitary　place
that　I　could　discover；　I　passed　the　room　in　which　we　had　dined。
The　door　was　ajar。　Before　I　could　get　by　it；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen
stepped　out　and　stopped　me。

〃Will　you　come　in　here　for　a　moment？〃　she　said。　〃The　farmer　has
been　called　away；　and　I　want　to　speak　to　you。〃

Very　unwillinglybut　how　could　I　have　refused　without　giving
offense？I　entered　the　room。

〃When　you　noticed　my　keeping　my　name　from　you；〃　Mrs。　Tenbruggen
began；　〃while　Selina　was　with　us；　you　placed　me　in　an　awkward
position。　Our　little　friend　is　an　excellent　creature；　but　her
tongue　runs　away　with　her　sometimes；　I　am　obliged　to　be　careful
of　taking　her　too　readily　into　my　confidence。　For　instance；　I
have　never　told　her　what　my　name　was　before　I　married。　Won't　you
sit　down？〃

I　had　purposely　remained　standing　as　a　hint　to　her　not　to　prolong
the　interview。　The　hint　was　thrown　away；　I　took　a　chair。

〃Selina's　letters　had　informed　me；〃　she　resumed；　〃that　Mr。
Gracedieu　was　a　nervous　invalid。　When　I　came　to　England；　I　had
hoped　to　try　what　Massage　might　do　to　relieve　him。　The　cure　of
their　popular　preacher　might　have　advertised　me　through　the　whole
of　the　Congregational　sect。　It　was　essential　to　my　success　that　I
should　present　myself　as　a　stranger。　I　could　trust　time　and
change；　and　my　married　name　（certainly　not　known　to　Mr。
Gracedieu）　to　keep　up　my　incognito。　He　would　have　refused　to　see
me　if　he　had　known　that　I　was　once　Miss　Chance。〃

I　began　to　be　interested。

Here　was　an　opportunity；　perhaps；　of　discovering　what　the
Minister　had　failed　to　remember　when　he　had　been　speaking　of　this
woman；　and　when　I　had　asked　if　he　had　ever　offended　her。　I　was
especially　careful　in　making　my　inquiries。

〃I　remember　how　you　spoke　to　Mr。　Gracedieu；〃　I　said；　〃when　you
and　he　met；　long　ago；　in　my　rooms。　But　surely　you　don't　think　him
capable　of　vindictively　remembering　some　thoughtless　words；　which
escaped　you　sixteen　or　seventeen　years　since？〃

〃I　am　not　quite　such　a　fool　as　that；　Mr。　Governor。　What　I　was
thinking　of　was　an　unpleasant　correspondence　between　the　Minister
and　myself。　Before　I　was　so　unfortunate　as　to　meet　with　Mr。
Tenbruggen；　I　obtained　a　chance　of　employment　in　a　public
Institution；　on　condition　that　I　included　a　clergyman　among　my
references。　Knowing　nobody　else　whom　I　could　apply　to；　I　rashly
wrote　to　Mr。　Gracedieu；　and　received　one　of　those　cold　and　cruel
refusals　which　only　the　strictest　religious　principle　can
produce。　I　was　mortally　offended　at　the　time；　and　if　your　friend
the　Minister　had　been　within　my　reach〃　She　paused；　and　finished
the　sentence　by　a　significant　gesture。

〃Well；〃　I　said；　〃he　is　within　your　reach　now。〃

〃And　out　of　his　mind；〃　she　added。　〃Besides；　one's　sense　of　injury
doesn't　last　（except　in　novels　and　plays）　through　a　series　of
years。　I　don't　pity　himand　if　an　opportunity　of　shaking　his
high　position　among　his　admiring　congregation　presented　itself；　I
daresay　I　might　make　a　mischievous　return　for　his　letter　to　me。
In　the　meanwhile；　we　may　drop　the　subject。　I　suppose　you
understand；　now；　why　I　concealed　my　name　from　you；　and　why　I　kept
out　of　the　house　while　you　were　in　it。〃

It　was　plain　enough；　of