the legacy of cain-第38节

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harmless　life　of　the　victim？　Or　could　we；　on　the　other　hand；
encourage　the　ruthless　deceit；　the　hateful　treachery；　which　had
put　the　wicked　Helenawith　no　exposure　to　dread　if　_she_
marriedinto　her　wronged　sister's　place？　Impossible！　In　the　one
case　as　in　the　other；　impossible！

Equally　hopeless　did　the　prospect　appear；　when　I　tried　to
determine　what　my　own　individual　course　of　action　ought　to　be。

In　my　calmer　moments；　the　idea　had　occurred　to　my　mind　of　going
to　Dunboyne　the　younger；　and；　if　he　had　any　sense　of　shame　left；
exerting　my　influence　to　lead　him　back　to　his　betrothed　wife。　How
could　I　now　do　this；　consistently　with　my　duty　to　the　young　man's
father；　knowing　what　I　knew；　and　not　forgetting　that　I　had　myself
advised　Mr。　Gracedieu　to　keep　the　truth　concealed；　when　I　was
equally　ignorant　of　Philip　Dunboyne's　parentage　and　of　Helena
Gracedieu's　treachery？

Even　if　events　so　ordered　it　that　the　marriage　of　Eunice　might
yet　take　placewithout　any　interference　exerted　to　produce　that
result；　one　way　or　the　other；　on　my　partit　would　be　just　as
impossible　for　me　to　speak　out　now；　as　it　had　been　in　the
long…past　years　when　I　had　so　cautiously　answered　Mr。　Dunboyne's
letter。　But　what　would　he　think　of　me　if　accident　led；　sooner　or
later；　to　the　disclosure　which　I　had　felt　bound　to　conceal？　The
more　I　tried　to　forecast　the　chances　of　the　future；　the　darker
and　the　darker　was　the　view　that　faced　me。

To　my　sinking　heart　and　wearied　mind；　good　Dame　Nature　presented
a　more　acceptable　prospect；　when　I　happened　to　look　out　of　the
window　of　my　room。　There　I　saw　the　trees　and　flowerbeds　of　a
garden；　tempting　me　irresistibly　under　the　cloudless　sunshine　of
a　fine　day。　I　was　on　my　way　out；　to　recover　heart　and　hope；　when
a　knock　at　the　door　stopped　me。

Had　Miss　Jillgall　returned？　When　I　said　〃Come　in；〃　Mr。　Gracedieu
opened　the　door；　and　entered　the　room。

He　was　so　weak　that　he　staggered　as　he　approached　me。　Leading　him
to　a　chair；　I　noticed　a　wild　look　in　his　eyes；　and　a　flush　on　his
haggard　cheeks。　Something　had　happened。

〃When　you　were　with　me　in　my　room；〃　he　began；　〃did　I　not　tell　you
that　I　had　forgotten　something？〃

〃Certainly　you　did。〃

〃Well；　I　have　found　the　lost　remembrance。　My　misfortuneI　ought
to　call　it　the　punishment　for　my　sins；　is　recalled　to　me　now。　The
worst　curse　that　can　fall　on　a　father　is　the　curse　that　has　come
to　me。　I　have　a　wicked　daughter。　My　own　child；　sir！　my　own
child！〃

Had　he　been　awake；　while　Miss　Jillgall　and　I　had　been　talking
outside　his　door？　Had　he　heard　her　ask　me　if　Mr。　Gracedieu　had
said　nothing　of　Helena's　infamous　conduct　to　her　sister；　while　he
was　speaking　of　Eunice？　The　way　to　the　lost　remembrance　had
perhaps　been　found　there。　In　any　case；　after　that　bitter　allusion
to　his　〃wicked　daughter〃　some　result　must　follow。　Helena
Gracedieu　and　a　day　of　reckoning　might　be　nearer　to　each　other
already　than　I　had　ventured　to　hope。

I　waited　anxiously　for　what　he　might　say　to　me　next。


CHAPTER　XXXVI。

THE　WANDERING　MIND。

FOR　the　moment；　the　Minister　disappointed　me。

Without　speaking；　without　even　looking　up；　he　took　out　his
pocketbook；　and　began　to　write　in　it。　Constantly　interrupted
either　by　a　trembling　in　the　hand　that　held　the　pencil；　or　by　a
difficulty　（as　I　imagined）　in　expressing　thoughts　imperfectly
realizedhis　patience　gave　way；　he　dashed　the　book　on　the　floor。

〃My　mind　is　gone！〃　he　burst　out。　〃Oh；　Father　in　Heaven；　let　death
deliver　me　from　a　body　without　a　mind！〃

Who　could　hear　him；　and　be　guilty　of　the　cruelty　of　preaching
self…control？　I　picked　up　the　pocketbook；　and　offered　to　help
him。

〃Do　you　think　you　can？〃　he　asked。

〃I　can　at　least　try。〃

〃Good　fellow！　What　should　I　do　without　you？　See　now；　here　is　my
difficulty。　I　have　got　so　many　things　to　say；　I　want　to　separate
themor　else　they　will　all　run　into　each　other。　Look　at　the
book；〃　my　poor　friend　said　mournfully；　〃they　have　run　into　each
other　in　spite　of　me。〃

The　entries　proved　to　be　nearly　incomprehensible。　Here　and　there
I　discovered　some　scattered　words；　which　showed　themselves　more
or　less　distinctly　in　the　midst　of　the　surrounding　confusion。　The
first　word　that　I　could　make　out　was　〃Education。〃　Helped　by　that
hint；　I　trusted　to　guess…work　to　guide　me　in　speaking　to　him。　It
was　necessary　to　be　positive；　or　he　would　have　lost　all　faith　in
me。

〃Well？〃　he　said　impatiently。

〃Well；〃　I　answered；　〃you　have　something　to　say　to　me　about　the
education　which　you　have　given　to　your　daughters。〃

〃Don't　put　them　together！〃　he　cried。　〃Dear；　patient；　sweet　Eunice
must　not　be　confounded　with　that　she…devil〃

〃Hush；　hush；　Mr。　Gracedieu！　Badly　as　Miss　Helena　has　behaved；　she
is　your　own　child。〃

〃I　repudiate　her；　sir！　Think　for　a　moment　of　what　she　has
doneand　then　think　of　the　religious　education　that　I　have　given
her。　Heartless！　Deceitful！　The　most　ignorant　creature　in　the
lowest　dens　of　this　town　could　have　done　nothing　more　basely
cruel。　And　this；　after　years　on　years　of　patient　Christian
instruction　on　my　part！　What　is　religion？　What　is　education？　I
read　a　horrible　book　once　（I　forget　who　was　the　author）；　it
called　religion　superstition；　and　education　empty　form。　I　don't
know；　upon　my　word　I　don't　know　that　the　book　may　notOh；　my
tongue！　Why　don't　I　keep　a　guard　over　my　tongue？　Are　you　a
father；　too？　Don't　interrupt　me。　Put　yourself　in　my　place；　and
think　of　it。　Heartless；　deceitful；　and　_my_　daughter。　Give　me　the
pocketbook；　I　want　to　see　which　memorandum　comes　first。〃

He　had　now　wrought　himself　into　a　state　of　excitement；　which
relieved　his　spirits　of　the　depression　that　had　weighed　on　them
up　to　this　time。　His　harmless　vanity；　always；　as　I　suspect；　a
latent　quality　in　his　kindly　nature；　had　already　restored　his
confidence。　With　a　self…sufficient　smile　he　consulted　his　own
unintelligible　entries；　and　made　his　own　wild　discoveries。

〃Ah；　yes；　'M'　stands　for　Minister；　I　come　first。　Am　I　to　blame？
Am　IGod　forgive　me　my　many　sinsam　I　heartless？　Am　I
deceitful？〃

〃My　good　friend；　not　even　your　enemies　could　say　that！〃

〃Thank　you。　Who　comes　next？〃　He　consulted　the　book　again。　〃Her
mother；　her　sainted　mother；　comes　next。　People　say　she　is　like
her　mother。　Was　my　wife　heartless？　Was　the　angel　of　my　life
deceitful？〃

（〃That；〃　I　thought　to　myself；　〃is　exactly　what　your　wife　wasand
exactly　what　reappears　in　your　wife's　child。〃）

〃Where　does　her　wickedness　come　from？〃　he　went　on。　〃Not　from　her
mother；　not　from　me；　not　from　a　neglected　education。〃　He　suddenly
stepped　up　to　me　and　laid　his　hands　on　my　shoulders；　his　voice
dropped　to　hoarse；　moaning；　awestruck　tones。　〃Shall　I　tell　you
what　it　is？　A　possession　of　the　devil。〃

It　was　so　evidently　desirable　to　prevent　any　continuation　of　such
a　train　of　thought　as　this；　that　I　could　feel　no　hesitation　in
interrupting　him。

〃Will　you　hear　what　I　have　to　say？〃　I　asked　bluntly。

His　humor　changed　again；　he　made　me　a　low　bow；　and　went　back　to
his　chair。　〃I　will　hear　you　with　pleasure；〃　he　answered　politely。
〃You　are　the　most　eloquent　man　I　know；　with　one
exceptionmyself。　Of　coursemyself。〃

〃It　is　mere　waste　of　time；〃　I　continued；　〃to　regret　the　excellent
education　which　your　daughter　has　misused。〃　Making　that　reply；　I
was　tempted　to　add　another　word　of　truth。　All　education　is　at　the
mercy　of　two　powerful　counter…influences：　the　influence　of
temperament；　and　the　influence　of　circumstances。　But　this　was
philosophy。　How　could　I　expect　him　to　submit　to　philosophy？　〃What
we　know　of　Miss　Helena；〃　I　went　on；　〃must　be　enough　for　us。　She
has　plotted；　and　she　means　to　succeed。　Stop　her。〃

〃Just　my　idea！〃　he　declared　firmly。　〃I　refuse　my　consent　to　that
abominable　marriage。〃

In　the　popular　phrase；　I　struck　while　the　iron　was　hot。　〃You　must
do　more　than　that；　sir；〃　I　told　him。

His　vanity　suddenly　took　the　alarmI　was　leading　him　rather　too
undisguisedly。　He　handed　his　book　back　to　me。　〃You　will　find；〃　he
said　loftily；　〃that　I　have　put　it　all　down　there。〃

I　pretended　to　find　it；　and　read　an　imaginary　entry　to　this
effect：　〃After　what　she　has　already　done；　Helena　is　capable　of
marrying　in　defiance　of　my　wishes　and　commands。　This　must　be
considered　and　provided　against。〃　So　far；　I　had　succeeded　in
flattering　him。　But　when　（thinking　of　his　paternal　authority）　I
alluded　next　to　his　daughter's　age；　his　eyes　rested　on　me　with　a
look　of　downright　terror。

〃No　more　of　that！〃　he　said。　〃I　won't　talk　of　the　girls'　ages　even
with　you。〃

What　did　he　mean？　It　was　useless　to　ask。　I　went　on　with　the
matter　in　handstill　deliberately　speaking　to　him；　as　I　might
have　spoken　to　a　man　with　an　intellect　as　clear　as　my　own。　In　my
experience；　this　practice　generally　stimulates　a　weak
intelligence　to　do　its　best。　We　all　know　how　children　receive
talk　that　is　lowered；　or　books　that　are　lowered；　to　their
presumed　level。

〃I　shall　take　it　for　granted；〃　I　continued；　〃that　Miss　Helena　is
still　under　your　lawful　authority。　She　can　only　arrive　at　her
ends　by　means　of　a　runaway　marriage。　In　that　case；　much　depends
on　the　man。　You　told　me　you　couldn't　help　liking　him。　This　was；
of　course；　before　you　knew　of　the　infamous　manner　in　which　he　has
behaved。　You