the legacy of cain-第35节

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this　house　knows　that　one　of　the　two　girls　is　not　really　my
daughter。　Pray　stop　me；　if　you　find　me　wandering　from　the　point。
My　wish　is　to　show　that　you　are　the　only　man　I　can　open　my　heart
to。　She〃　He　paused；　as　if　in　search　of　a　lost　idea；　and　left
the　sentence　uncompleted。　〃Yes；〃　he　went　on；　〃I　was　thinking　of
my　adopted　child。　Did　I　ever　tell　you　that　I　baptized　her　myself？
and　by　a　good　Scripture　name　tooEunice。　Ah；　sir；　that　little
helpless　baby　is　a　grown…up　girl　now；　of　an　age　to　inspire　love；
and　to　feel　love。　I　blush　to　acknowledge　it；　I　have　behaved　with
a　want　of　self…control；　with　a　cowardly　weakness。No！　I　am；
indeed；　wandering　this　time。　I　ought　to　have　told　you　first　that
I　have　been　brought　face　to　face　with　the　possibility　of　Eunice's
marriage。　And；　to　make　it　worse　still；　I　can't　help　liking　the
young　man。　He　comes　of　a　good　familyexcellent　manners；　highly
educated；　plenty　of　money；　a　gentleman　in　every　sense　of　the
word。　And　poor　little　Eunice　is　so　fond　of　him！　Isn't　it　dreadful
to　be　obliged　to　check　her　dearly…loved　Philip？　The　young
gentleman's　name　is　Philip。　Do　you　like　the　name？　I　say　I　am
obliged　to　cheek　her　sweetheart　in　the　rudest　manner；　when　all　he
wants　to　do　is　to　ask　me　modestly　for　my　sweet　Eunice's　hand。　Oh；
what　have　I　not　suffered；　without　a　word　of　sympathy　to　comfort
me；　before　I　had　courage　enough　to　write　to　you！　Shall　I　make　a
dreadful　confession？　If　my　religious　convictions　had　not　stood　in
my　way；　I　believe　I　should　have　committed　suicide。　Put　yourself
in　my　place。　Try　to　see　yourself　shrinking　from　a　necessary
explanation；　when　the　happiness　of　a　harmless　girlso　dutiful；
so　affectionatedepended　on　a　word　of　kindness　from　your　lips。
And　that　word　you　are　afraid　to　speak！　Don't　take　offense；　sir；　I
mean　myself；　not　you。　Why　don't　you　say　something？〃　he　burst　out
fiercely；　incapable　of　perceiving　that　he　had　allowed　me　no
opportunity　of　speaking　to　him。　〃Good　God！　don't　you　understand
me；　after　all？〃

The　signs　of　mental　confusion　in　his　talk　had　so　distressed　me；
that　I　had　not　been　composed　enough　to　feel　sure　of　what　he
really　meant；　until　he　described　himself　as　〃shrinking　from　a
necessary　explanation。〃　Hearing　those　words；　my　knowledge　of　the
circumstances　helped　me；　I　realized　what　his　situation　really
was。

〃Compose　yourself；〃　I　said；　〃I　understand　you　at　last。〃

He　had　suddenly　become　distrustful。

〃Prove　it；〃　he　muttered；　with　a　furtive　look　at　me。　〃I　want　to　be
satisfied　that　you　understand　my　position。〃

〃This　is　your　position；〃　I　told　him。　〃You　are　placed　between　two
deplorable　alternatives。　If　you　tell　this　young　gentleman　that
Miss　Eunice's　mother　was　a　criminal　hanged　for　murder；　his
familyeven　if　he　himself　doesn't　recoil　from　itwill
unquestionably　forbid　the　marriage；　and　your　adopted　daughter's
happiness　will　be　the　sacrifice。〃

〃True！〃　he　said。　〃Frightfully　true！　Go　on。〃

〃If；　on　the　other　hand；　you　sanction　the　marriage；　and　conceal
the　truth；　you　commit　a　deliberate　act　of　deceit；　and　you　leave
the　lives　of　the　young　couple　at　the　mercy　of　a　possible
discovery；　which　might　part　husband　and　wifecast　a　slur　on
their　childrenand　break　up　the　household。〃

He　shuddered　while　he　listened　to　me。　〃Come　to　the　end　of　it；〃　he
cried。

I　had　no　more　to　say；　and　I　was　obliged　to　answer　him　to　that
effect。

〃No　more　to　say？〃　he　replied。　〃You　have　not　told　me　yet　what　I
most　want　to　know。〃

I　did　a　rash　thing；　I　asked　what　it　was　that　he　most　wanted　to
know。

〃Can't　you　see　it　for　yourself？〃　he　demanded　indignantly。
〃Suppose　you　were　put　between　those　two　alternatives　which　you
mentioned　just　now。〃

〃Well？〃

〃What　would　you　do；　sir；　in　my　place？　Would　you　own　the
disgraceful　truthbefore　the　marriageor　run　the　risk；　and　keep
the　horrid　story　to　yourself？〃

Either　way；　my　reply　might　lead　to　serious　consequences。　I
hesitated。

He　threatened　me　with　his　poor　feeble　hand。　It　was　only　the　anger
of　a　moment；　　his　humor　changed　to　supplication。　He　reminded　me
piteously　of　bygone　days：　〃You　used　to　be　a　kind…hearted　man。　Has
age　hardened　you？　Have　you　no　pity　left　for　your　old　friend？　My
poor　heart　is　sadly　in　want　of　a　word　of　wisdom；　spoken　kindly。〃

Who　could　have　resisted　this？　I　took　his　hand：　〃Be　at　ease；　dear
Minister。　In　your　place　I　should　run　the　risk；　and　keep　that
horrid　story　to　myself。〃

He　sank　back　gently　in　his　chair。　〃Oh；　the　relief　of　it！〃　he
said。　〃How　can　I　thank　you　as　I　ought　for　quieting　my　mind？〃

I　seized　the　opportunity　of　quieting　his　mind　to　good　purpose　by
suggesting　a　change　of　subject。　〃Let　us　have　done　with　serious
talk　for　the　present；〃　I　proposed。　〃I　have　been　an　idle　man　for
the　last　five　years；　and　I　want　to　tell　you　about　my　travels。〃

His　attention　began　to　wander；　he　evidently　felt　no　interest　in
my　travels。　〃Are　you　sure；〃　he　asked　anxiously；　〃that　we　have
said　all　we　ought　to　say？　No！〃　he　cried；　answering　his　own
question。　〃I　believe　I　have　forgotten　somethingI　am　certain　I
have　forgotten　something。　Perhaps　I　mentioned　it　in　the　letter　I
wrote　to　you。　Have　you　got　my　letter？〃

I　showed　it　to　him。　He　read　the　letter；　and　gave　it　back　to　me
with　a　heavy　sigh。　〃Not　there！〃　he　said　despairingly。　〃Not
there！〃

〃Is　the　lost　remembrance　connected　with　anybody　in　the　house？〃　I
asked；　trying　to　help　him。　〃Does　it　relate；　by　any　chance；　to　one
of　the　young　ladies？〃

〃You　wonderful　man！　Nothing　escapes　you。　Yes；　the　thing　I　have
forgotten　concerns　one　of　the　girls。　Stop！　Let　me　get　at　it　by
myself。　Surely　it　relates　to　Helena？〃　He　hesitated；　his　face
clouded　over　with　an　expression　of　anxious　thought。　〃Yes；　it
relates　to　Helena；〃　he　repeated　〃but　how？〃　His　eyes　filled　with
tears。　〃I　am　ashamed　of　my　weakness；〃　he　said　faintly。　〃You　don't
know　how　dreadful　it　is　to　forget　things　in　this　way。〃

The　injury　that　his　mind　had　sustained　now　assumed　an　aspect　that
was　serious　indeed。　The　subtle　machinery；　which　stimulates　the
memory；　by　means　of　the　association　of　ideas；　appeared　to　have
lost　its　working　power　in　the　intellect　of　this　unhappy　man。　I
made　the　first　suggestion　that　occurred　to　me；　rather　than　add　to
his　distress　by　remaining　silent。

〃If　we　talk　of　your　daughter；〃　I　said；　〃the　merest　accidenta
word　spoken　at　random　by。　you　or　memay　be　all　your　memory　wants
to　rouse　it。〃

He　agreed　eagerly　to　this：　〃Yes！　Yes！　Let　me　begin。　Helena　met
you；　I　think；　at　the　station。　Of　course；　I　remember　that；　it　only
happened　a　few　hours　since。　Well？〃　he　went　on；　with　a　change　in
his　manner　to　parental　pride；　which　it　was　pleasant　to　see；　〃did
you　think　my　daughter　a　fine　girl？　I　hope　Helena　didn't
disappoint　you？〃

〃Quite　the　contrary。〃　Having　made　that　necessary　reply；　I　saw　my
way　to　keeping　his　mind　occupied　by　a　harmless　subject。　〃It　must；
however；　be　owned；〃　I　went　on；　〃that　your　daughter　surprised　me。〃

〃In　what　way？〃

〃When　she　mentioned　her　name。　Who　could　have　supposed　that
youan　inveterate　enemy　to　the　Roman　Catholic　Churchwould　have
christened　your　daughter　by　the　name　of　a　Roman　Catholic　Saint？〃

He　listened　to　this　with　a　smile。　Had　I　happily　blundered　on　some
association　which　his　mind　was　still　able　to　pursue？

〃You　happen　to　be　wrong　this　time；〃　he　said　pleasantly。　〃I　never
gave　my　girl　the　name　of　Helena；　and；　what　is　more；　I　never
baptized　her。　You　ought　to　know　that。　Years　and　years　ago；　I
wrote　to　tell　you　that　my　poor　wife　had　made　me　a　proud　and　happy
father。　And　surely　I　said　that　the　child　was　born　while　she　was
on　a　visit　to　her　brother's　rectory。　Do　you　remember　the　name　of
the　place？　I　told　you　it　was　a　remote　little　village；　called
Suppose　we　put　_your_　memory　to　a　test？　Can　you　remember　the
name？〃　he　asked；　with　a　momentary　appearance　of　triumph　showing
itself；　poor　fellow；　in　his　face。

After　the　time　that　had　elapsed；　the　name　had　slipped　my　memory。
When　I　confessed　this；　he　exulted　over　me；　with　an　unalloyed
pleasure　which　it　was　cheering　to　see。

〃_Your_　memory　is　failing　you　now；〃　he　said。　〃The　name　is　Long
Lanes。　And　what　do　you　think　my　wife　didthis　is　so
characteristic　of　her！when　I　presented　myself　at　her　bedside。
Instead　of　speaking　of　our　own　baby；　she　reminded　me　of　the　name
that　I　had　given　to　our　adopted　daughter　when　I　baptized　the
child。　'You　chose　the　ugliest　name　that　a　girl　can　have；'　she
said。　I　begged　her　to　remember　that　'Eunice'　was　a　name　in
Scripture。　She　persisted　in　spite　of　me。　（What　firmness　of
character！）　'I　detest　the　name　of　Eunice！'　she　said；　'and　now
that　I　have　a　girl　of　my　own；　it's　my　turn　to　choose　the　name；　I
claim　it　as　my　right。'　She　was　beginning　to　get　excited；　I
allowed　her　to　have　her　own　way；　of　course。　'Only　let　me　know；'　I
said；　'what　the　name　is　to　be　when　you　have　thought　of　it。'　My
dear　sir；　she　had　the　name　ready；　without　thinking　about　it：　'My
baby　shall　be　called　by　the　name　that　is　sweetest　in　my　ears；　the
name　of　my　dear　lost　mother。'　We　hadwhat　shall　I　call　it？a
slight　difference　of　opinion　when　I　heard　that　the　name　was　to　be
Helena。　I　really　could　_not_　reconcile　it　to　my　conscience　to
baptize　a　child　of　mine　by　the　name　of　a　Popish　saint。　My　wife's
brother　set　things　right　between　us。　A　worthy　good　ma