the legacy of cain-第24节
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that day had come and gone!
I try not to take gloomy views of things; but I am not quite so
happy as I had expected to be when my dear was in the same town
with me。 If papa had encouraged him to call again; we might have
had some precious time to ourselves。 As it is; we can only meet
in the different show…places in the townwith Helena on one
side; and Miss Jillgall on the other; to take care of us。 I do
call it cruel not to let two young people love each other;
without setting third persons to watch them。 If I was Queen of
England; I would have pretty private bowers made for lovers; in
the summer; and nice warm little rooms to hold two; in the
winter。 Why not? What harm could come of it; I should like to
know?
The cathedral is the place of meeting which we find most
convenient; under the circumstances。 There are delightful nooks
and corners about this celebrated building in which lovers can
lag behind。 If we had been in papa's chapel I should have
hesitated to turn it to such a profane use as this; the cathedral
doesn't so much matter。
Shall I own that I felt my inferiority to Helena a little keenly?
She could tell Philip so many things that I should have liked to
tell him first。 My clever sister taught him how to pronounce the
name of the bishop who began building the cathedral; she led him
over the crypt; and told him how old it was。 He was interested in
the crypt; he talked to Helena (not to me) of his ambition to
write a work on cathedral architecture in England; he made a
rough little sketch in his book of our famous tomb of some king。
Helena knew the late royal personage's name; and Philip showed
his sketch to her before he showed it to me。 How can I blame him;
when I stood there the picture of stupidity; trying to recollect
something that I might tell him; if it was only the Dean's name?
Helena might have whispered it to me; I think。 She remembered it;
not Iand mentioned it to Philip; of course。 I kept close by him
all the time; and now and then he gave me a look which raised my
spirits。 He might have given me something better than thatI
mean a kisswhen we had left the cathedral; and were by
ourselves for a moment in a corner of the Dean's garden。 But he
missed the opportunity。 Perhaps he was afraid of the Dean himself
coming that way; and happening to see us。 However; I am far from
thinking the worse of Philip。 I gave his arm a little
squeezeand that was better than nothing。
。 。 。 。 。 。 。
He and I took a walk along the bank of the river to…day; my
sister and Miss Jillgall looking after us as usual。
On our way through the town; Helena stopped to give an order at a
shop。 She asked us to wait for her。 That best of good creatures;
Miss Jillgall; whispered in my ear: 〃Go on by yourselves; and
leave me to wait for her。〃 Philip interpreted this act of
kindness in a manner which would have vexed me; if I had not
understood that it was one of his jokes。 He said to me: 〃Miss
Jillgall sees a chance of annoying your sister; and enjoys the
prospect。〃
Well; away we went together; it was just what I wanted; it gave
me an opportunity of saying something to Philip; between
ourselves。
I could now beg of him; in his interests and mine; to make the
best of himself when he came to dinner。 Clever people; I told
him; were people whom papa liked and admired。 I said: 〃Let him
see; dear; how clever _you_ are; and how many things you
knowand you can't imagine what a high place you will have in
his opinion。 I hope you don't think I am taking too much on
myself in telling you how to behave。〃
He relieved that doubt in a manner which I despair of describing。
His eyes rested on me with such a look of exquisite sweetness and
love that I was obliged to hold by his arm; I trembled so with
the pleasure of feeling it。
〃I do sincerely believe;〃 he said; 〃that you are the most
innocent girl; the sweetest; truest girl that ever lived。 I wish
I was a better man; Eunice; I wish I was good enough to be worthy
of you!〃
To hear him speak of himself in that way jarred on me。 If such
words had fallen from any other man's lips; I should have been
afraid that he had done something; or thought something; of which
he had reason to feel ashamed。 With Philip this was impossible。
He was eager to walk on rapidly; and to turn a corner in the
path; before we could be seen。 〃I want to be alone with you;〃 he
said。
I looked back。 We were too late; Helena and Miss Jillgall had
nearly overtaken us。 My sister was on the point of speaking to
Philip; when she seemed to change her mind; and only looked at
him。 Instead of looking at her in return; he kept his eyes cast
down and drew figures on the pathway with his stick。 I think
Helena was out of temper; she suddenly turned my way。 〃Why didn't
you wait for me?〃 she asked。
Philip took her up sharply。 〃If Eunice likes seeing the river
better than waiting in the street;〃 he said; 〃isn't she free to
do as she pleases?〃
Helena said nothing more; Philip walked on slowly by himself。 Not
knowing what to make of it; I turned to Miss Jillgall。
〃Surely Phi lip can't have quarreled with Helena?〃 I said。
Miss Jillgall answered in an odd off…hand manner: 〃Not he! He is
a great deal more likely to have quarreled with himself。〃
〃Why?〃
〃Suppose you ask him why?〃
It was not to be thought of; it would have looked like prying
into his thoughts。 〃Selina!〃 I said; 〃there is something odd
about you to…day。 What is the matter? I don't understand you。〃
〃My poor dear; you will find yourself understanding me before
long。〃 I thought I saw something like pity in her face when she
said that。
〃My poor dear?〃 I repeated。 〃What makes you speak to me in that
way?〃
〃I don't knowI'm tired; I'm an old fool I'll go back to the
house。〃
Without another word; she left me。 I turned to look for Philip;
and saw that my sister had joined him while I had been speaking
to Miss Jillgall。 It pleased me to find that they were talking in
a friendly way when I joined them。 A quarrel between Helena and
my husband that is to beno; my husband that _shall_ bewould
have been too distressing; too unnatural I might almost call it。
Philip looked along the backward path; and asked what had become
of Miss Jillgall。 〃Have you any objection to follow her example?〃
he said to me; when I told him that Selina had returned to the
town。 〃I don't care for the banks of this river。〃
Helena; who used to like the river at other times; was as ready
as Philip to leave it now。 I fancy they had both been kindly
waiting to change our walk; till I came to them; and they could
study my wishes too。 Of course I was ready to go where they
pleased。 I asked Philip if there was anything he would like to
see; when we got into the streets again。
Clever Helena suggested what seemed to be a strange amusement to
offer to Philip。 〃Let's take him to the Girls' School;〃 she said。
It appeared to be a matter of perfect indifference to him; he
was; what they call; ironical。 〃Oh; yes; of course。 Deeply
interesting! deeply interesting!〃 He suddenly broke into the
wildest good spirits; and tucked my hand under his arm with a
gayety which it was impossible to resist。 〃What a boy you are!〃
Helena said; enjoying his delightful hilarity as I did。
CHAPTER XXIV。
EUNICE'S DIARY。
ON entering the schoolroom we lost our gayety; all in a moment。
Something unpleasant had evidently happened。
Two of the eldest girls were sitting together in a corner;
separated from the rest; and looking most wickedly sulky。 The
teachers were at the other end of the room; appearing to be ill
at ease。 And there; standing in the midst of them; with his face
flushed and his eyes angrythere was papa; sadly unlike his
gentle self in the days of his health and happiness。 On former
occasions; when the exercise of his authority was required in the
school; his forbearing temper always set things right。 When I saw
him now; I thought of what the doctor had said of his health; on
my way home from the station。
Papa advanced to us the moment we showed ourselves at the door。
He shook handscordially shook handswith Philip。 It was
delightful to see him; delightful to hear him say: 〃Pray don't
suppose; Mr。 Dunboyne; that you are intruding; remain with us by
all means if you like。〃 Then he spoke to Helena and to me; still
excited; still not like himself: 〃You couldn't have come here; my
dears; at a time when your presence was more urgently needed。〃 He
turned to the teachers。 〃Tell my daughters what has happened;
tell them why they see me hereshocked and distressed; I don't
deny it。〃
We now heard that the two girls in disgrace had broken the rules;
and in such a manner as to deserve severe punishment。
One of them had been discovered hiding a novel in her desk。 The
other had misbehaved herself more seriously stillshe had gone
to the theater。 Instead of expressing any regret; they had
actually dared to complain of having to learn papa's improved
catechism。 They had even accused him of treating them with
severity; because they were poor girls brought up on charity。 〃If
we had been young ladies;〃 they were audacious enough to say;
〃more indulgence would have been show