autobiography of a pocket-handkerchief-第14节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


in　truth；　being　a　consequence　of　the　other。

｛management　=　in　Cooper's　time；　a　word　suggesting　conniving　or
unscrupulous　manipulation；　Havre　=　le　Havre；　an　important　French
port｝

〃You　forget　the　duty；　Desiree；〃　observed　the　military　trader；　〃this
compromise　law　is　a　thousand　times　worse　than　any　law　we　have　ever
had　in　America。〃

｛compromise　law　=　the　American　Tariff　Act　of　1832；　which　reduced
tariffs　on　some　items；　but　retained　the　high　customs　duties　on　the　import
of　textile　products｝

〃The　duty！〃　repeated　the　woman；　with　an　incredulous　smile；　〃monsieur；
you　are　not　so　young　as　to　pay　any　duty　on　a　pocket…handkerchief！　Ma
foi；　I　will　bring　twentyoui；　a　thousand　from　England　itself；　and　the
douaniers　shall　not　stop　one。〃

｛douaniers　=　customs　officials｝

〃Ay；　but　we　don't　smuggle　in　America；〃　returned　the　colonel；　with　an
aplomb　that　might　have　done　credit　to　Vidocq　himself；　〃in　our
republican　country　the　laws　are　all　in　all。〃

｛Vidocq　=　Francois　Vidocq　（1775…1857）；　a　senior　French　police
official　who　was　secretly　a　burglar；　and　who　〃investigated〃　his　own
crimes　for　a　long　time　before　being　exposed｝

〃Why　do　so　many　of　your　good　republicans　dress　so　that　the　rue　de
Clery　don't　know　them；　and　then　go　to　the　chateau？〃　demanded　the
commissionaire；　very　innocently；　as　to　appearance　at　least。

｛chateau　=　palace｝

〃Bah！　there　are　the　five　napoleonsif　you　want　them；　take　themif　not；
I　care　little　about　it；　my　invoice　being　all　closed。〃

Desiree　never　accepted　money　more　reluctantly。　Instead　of　making　one
hundred　and　fifty…five　francs　out　of　the　toil　and　privations；　and　self…
denial　of　poor　Adrienne；　she　found　her　own　advantages　unexpectedly
lessened　to　fifty…five；　or；　only　a　trifle　more　than　one　hundred　per　cent。
But　the　colonel　was　firm；　and；　for　once；　her　cupidity　was　compelled　to
succumb。　The　money　was　paid；　and　I　became　the　vassal　of　Colonel
Silky；　a　titular　soldier；　but　a　traveling　trader；　who　never　lost　sight　of　the
main　chance　either　in　his　campaigns；　his　journeys；　or　his　pleasures。

To　own　the　truth；　Colonel　Silky　was　delighted　with　me。　No　girl　could　be
a　better　judge　of　the　ARTICLE；　and　all　his　cultivated　taste　ran　into　the
admiration　of　GOODS。　I　was　examined　with　the　closest　scrutiny；　my
merits　were　inwardly　applauded；　and　my　demerits　pronounced　to　be
absolutely　none。　In　short；　I　was　flattered；　for；　it　must　be　confessed；　the
commendation　of　even　a　fool　is　grateful。　So　far　from　placing　me　in　a
trunk；　or　a　drawer；　the　colonel　actually　put　me　in　his　pocket；　though
duly　enveloped　and　with　great　care；　and　for　some　time　I　trembled　in
every　delicate　fibre；　lest；　in　a　moment　of　forgetfulness；　he　might　use　me。
But　my　new　master　had　no　such　intention。　His　object　in　taking　me　out
was　to　consult　a　sort　of　court　commissionaire；　with　whom　he　had
established　certain　relations；　and　that；　too；　at　some　little　cost；　on　the
propriety　of　using　me　himself　that　evening　at　the　chateau　of　the　King　of
the　French。　Fortunately；　his　monitress；　though　by　no　means　of　the　purest
water；　knew　better　than　to　suffer　her　eleve　to　commit　so　gross　a
blunder；　and　I　escaped　the　calamity　of　making　my　first　appearance　at
court　under　the　auspices　of　such　a　patron。

｛eleve　=　pupil｝

There　was　a　moment；　too；　when　the　colonel　thought　of　presenting　me　to
Madame　de　Dolomien；　by　the　way　of　assuring　his　favor　in　the　royal
circle；　but　when　he　came　to　count　up　the　money　he　should　lose　in　the
way　of　profits；　this　idea　became　painful；　and　it　was　abandoned。　As
often　happened　with　this　gentleman；　he　reasoned　so　long　in　all　his　acts
of　liberality；　that　he　supposed　a　sufficient　sacrifice　had　been　made　in　the
mental　discussions；　and　he　never　got　beyond　what　surgeons　call　the
〃first　intention〃　of　his　moral　cures。　The　evening　he　went　to　court；
therefore；　I　was　carefully　consigned　to　a　carton　in　the　colonel's　trunk；
whence　I　did　not　again　issue　until　my　arrival　in　America。　Of　the　voyage；
therefore；　I　have　little　to　say；　not　having　had　a　sight　of　the　ocean　at　all。　I
cannot　affirm　that　I　was　absolutely　sea…sick；　but；　on　the　other　hand；　I
cannot　add　that　I　was　perfectly　well　during　any　part　of　the　passage。　The
pent　air　of　the　state…room；　and　a　certain　heaviness　about　the　brain；　quite
incapacitated　me　from　enjoying　any　thing　that　passed；　and　that　was　a
happy　moment　when　our　trunk　was　taken　on　deck　to　be　examined。　The
custom…house　officers　at　New　York　were　not　men　likely　to　pick　out　a
pocket…handkerchief　from　a　gentleman'sI　beg　pardon；　from　a
colonel'swardrobe；　and　I　passed　unnoticed　among　sundry　other　of　my
employer's　speculations。　I　call　the　colonel　my　EMPLOYER；　though　this
was　not　strictly　true；　for；　Heaven　be　praised！　he　never　did　employ　me；
but　ever　since　my　arrival　in　America；　my　gorge　has　so　risen　against　the
word　〃master；〃　that　I　cannot　make　up　my　mind　to　write　it。　I　know　there
is　an　ingenious　substitute；　as　the　following　little　dialogue　will　show；　but
my　early　education　under　the　astronomer　and　the　delicate　minded
Adrienne；　has　rendered　me　averse　to　false　taste；　and　I　find　the　substitute
as　disagreeable　as　the　original。　The　conversation　to　which　I　allude；
occurred　between　me　and　a　very　respectable　looking　shirt；　that　I
happened　to　be　hanging　next　to　on　a　line；　a　few　days　after　my　arrival；
the　colonel　having　judged　it　prudent　to　get　me　washed　and　properly
ironed；　before　he　carried　me　into　the　〃market。〃

〃Who　is　your　BOSS；　pocket…handkerchief？〃　demanded　the　shirt；　a
perfect　stranger　to　me；　by　the　way；　for　I　had　never　seen　him　before　the
accidents　of　the　wash…tub　brought　us　in　collision；　〃who　is　your　boss；
pocket…handkerchief；　I　say？you　are　so　very　fine；　I　should　like　to
know　something　of　your　history。〃

》From　all　I　had　heard　and　read；　I　was　satisfied　my　neighbor　was　a
Yankee　shirt；　both　from　his　curiosity　and　from　his　abrupt　manner　of
asking　questions；　still　I　was　at　a　loss　to　know　the　meaning　of　the　word
BOSS；　my　clairvoyance　being　totally　at　fault。　It　belongs　to　no　language
known　to　the　savans　or　academicians。

｛savans　=　scholars｝

〃I　am　not　certain；　sir；〃　I　answered；　〃that　I　understand　your　meaning。
What　is　a　BOSS？〃

｛boss　=　Cooper　was　annoyed　by　American　euphemisms；　such　as　using
the　Dutch　word　〃boss〃　in　place　of　〃master〃a　custom　he　blamed　largely
on　New　England　〃Yankees〃｝

〃Oh！　that's　only　a　republican　word　for　'master。'　Now；　Judge　Latitat　is
MY　boss；　and　a　very　good　one　he　is；　with　the　exception　of　his　sitting　so
late　at　night　at　his　infernal　circuits；　by　the　light　of　miserable　tallow
candles。　But　all　the　judges　are　alike　for　that；　keeping　a　poor　shirt　up
sometimes　until　midnight；　listening　to　cursed　dull　lawyers；　and　prosy；
caviling　witnesses。〃

｛circuits　=　　American　〃circuit　judges〃　travelled　from　town　to　town；
holding　court　in　each　and　sleeping　at　local　inns　and　taverns｝

〃I　beg　you　to　recollect；　sir；　that　I　am　a　female　pocket…handkerchief；　and
persons　of　your　sex　are　bound　to　use　temperate　and　proper　language　in
the　presence　of　ladies。

〃Yes；　I　see　you　are　feminine；　by　your　ornamentsstill；　you　might　tell　a
fellow　who　is　your　boss？〃

〃I　belong；　at　present；　to　Colonel　Silky；　if　that　is　what　you　mean；　but　I
presume　some　fair　lady　will　soon　do　me　the　honor　of　transferring　me　to
her　own　wardrobe。　No　doubt　my　future　employeris　not　that　the
word？will　be　one　of　the　most　beautiful　and　distinguished　ladies　of
New　York。〃

〃No　question　of　that；　as　money　makes　both　beauty　and　distinction　in　this
part　of　the　world；　and　it's　not　a　dollar　that　will　buy　you。　COLONEL
Silky？　I　don't　remember　the　namewhich　of　OUR　editors　is　he？〃

｛Cooper　is　ridiculing　the　habit　of　newspaper　editors　of　seeking
popularity　by　serving　in　the　militia　and　thus　receiving　the　title　of
〃Colonel〃｝

〃I　don't　think　he　is　an　editor　at　all。　At　least；　I　never　heard　he　was
employed　about　any　publication；　and；　to　own　the　truth；　he　does　not
appear　to　me　to　be　particularly　qualified　for　such　a　duty；　either　by　native
capacity；　or；　its　substitute；　education。〃

〃Oh！　that　makes　no　great　differencehalf　the　corps　is　exactly　in　the
same　predicament。　I'fegs！　if　we　waited　for　colonels；　or　editors　either；　in
this　country；　until　we　got　such　as　were　qualified；　we　should　get　no　news；
and　be　altogether　without　politics；　and　the　militia　would　soon　be　in　an
awful　state。〃

｛I'fegs！　=　an　obsolete；　essentially　meaningless　exclamation；　like　〃I
swear！〃；　deriving　from　〃In　faith！〃｝

〃This　is　very　extraordinary！　So　you　do　not　wait；　but　take　them　as　they
come。　And　what　state　is　your　militia　actually　in？〃

〃Awful！　It　is　what　my　boss；　the　judge；　sometimes　calls　a　'statu　quo。'〃

｛'statu　quo'　=　in　the　same　state　as　always　（Latin）｝

〃And　the　newspapersand　the　newsand　the　politics？〃

〃Why；　they　are　NOT　in　'statu　quo'but　in　a　'semper　eadem'I　beg
pardon；　do　you　understand　Latin？〃

〃No；　sirladies　do　not　often　study　the　dead　languages。〃

〃If　they　did　they　would　soon　bring　'em　to　life！　'Semper　eadem'　is　Latin
for　'worse　and　worse。'　The　militia　is　drilling　into　a　'statu　quo；'　and　the
press　is　enlightening　mankind　with　a　'semper　eadem。'　〃

｛'Semper　eadem'　=　the　usual　meaning　is　〃ever　the　same〃　（Latin）
presumably　Cooper's　talking　shirt　is　being　ironical；　suggesting　that　that
〃worse　and　worse〃　is