autobiography of a pocket-handkerchief-第11节

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selfish　and　calculating；　one　of　the　most　familiar　of　their　frauds　being　to
conceal　from　the　skillful　their　own　success；　lest　it　should　command　a
price　in　proportion　to　its　claims。　The　milliner　heard　Adrienne's　lady…like
and　gentle　remonstrance　with　alarm；　and　she　felt　that　she　was　in　danger
of　losing　a　prize。　But　two　expedients　suggested　themselves；　to　offer　a
higher　price；　or　to　undervalue　the　services　she　was　so　fearful　of　losing。
Her　practiced　policy；　as　well　as　her　selfishness；　counseled　her　to　try　the
latter　expedient　first。

〃You　amaze　me；　mademoiselle；〃　she　answered；　when　Adrienne；
trembling　at　her　own　resolution；　ceased　speaking。　〃I　was　thinking　myself
whether　I　could　afford　to　pay　you　fifteen　sous；　when　so　many　young
women　who　have　been　regularly　brought　up　to　the　business　are　willing
to　work　for　less。　I　am　afraid　we　must　part；　unless　you　can　consent　to
receive　twelve　sous　in　future。〃

Adrienne　stood　aghast。　The　very　mirror　of　truth　herself；　she　could　not
imagine　that　any　oneleast　of　all　any　womancould　be　so　false　and
cruel　as　to　practice　the　artifice　to　which　the　milliner　had　resorted；　and；
here；　just　as　she　saw　a　way　opened　by　which　she　might　support　both
her　grandmother　and　herself　until　the　handkerchief　was　completed；　a
change　threatened　her；　by　which　she　was　to　be　left　altogether　without
food。　Still　her　conscience　was　so　tender　that　she　even　doubted　the
propriety　of　accepting　her　old　wages　were　she　really　incompetent　to
earn　them。

〃I　had　hoped；　madame；〃　she　said；　the　color　coming　and　going　on
cheeks　that　were　now　usually　pale〃I　had　hoped；　madame；　that　you
found　my　work　profitable。　Surely；　surely　I　bring　home　as　much　at　night
as　any　other　demoiselle　you　employ。〃

〃In　that　there　is　not　much　difference；　I　allow；　mademoiselle；　but　you　can
imagine　that　work　done　by　one　accustomed　to　the　art　is　more　likely　to
please　customers　than　work　done　by　one　who　has　been　educated　as　a
lady。　Cependant；　I　will　not　throw　you　off；　as　I　know　that　your　poor
dear　grandmother〃

〃Sisi；〃　eagerly　interrupted　Adrienne；　trembling　from　head　to　foot　with
apprehension。

〃I　know　it　all；　mademoiselle；　and　the　dear　old　lady　shall　not　suffer；　you
shall　both　be　made　happy　again　on　fifteen。　To　ease　your　mind；
mademoiselle；　I　am　willing　to　make　a　written　contract　for　a　year；　at　that
rate；　too；　to　put　your　heart　at　ease。〃

〃Nonnonnon；〃　murmured　Adrienne；　happy　and　grateful　for　the
moment；　but　unwilling　to　defeat　her　own　plans　for　the　future。　〃Thank
you；　thank　you；　madame；　to…morrow　you　shall　see　what　I　can　do。〃

And　Adrienne　toiled　the　succeeding　day；　not　only　until　her　fingers　and
body　ached；　but；　until　her　very　heart　ached。　Poor　child！　Little　did　she
think　that　she　was　establishing　precedents　against　herself；　by　which
further　and　destructive　exertions　might　be　required。　But　the
apprehension　of　losing　the　pittance　she　actually　received；　and　thereby
blasting　all　hopes　from　me；　was　constantly　before　her　mind；　quickening
her　hand　and　sustaining　her　body。

During　all　this　time　Madame　de　la　Rocheaimard　continued　slowly　to
sink。　Old　age；　disappointments　and　poverty　were　working　out　their
usual　results；　and　death　was　near　to　close　the　scene。　So　gradual　were
the　changes；　however；　that　Adrienne　did　not　note　them；　and
accustomed　as　she　had　been　to　the　existence；　the　presence；　the　love　of
this　one　being；　and　of　this　being　only；　to　her　the　final　separation　scarce
seemed　within　the　bounds　of　possibility。　Surely　every　thing　around　the
human　family　inculcates　the　doctrine　of　the　mysterious　future；　and　the
necessity　of　living　principally　that　they　be　prepared　to　die。　All　they
produce　perishes；　all　they　imagine　perishes；　as　does　all　they　love。　The
union　of　two　beings　may　be　so　engrossing；　in　their　eyes；　have　lasted　so
long；　and　embraced　so　many　ties；　as　to　seem　indissoluble；　it　is　all
seeming；　the　hour　will　infallibly　come　when　the　past　becomes　as　nothing；
except　as　it　has　opened　the　way　to　the　future。

Adrienne　at　length；　by　dint　of　excessive　toil；　by　working　deep　into　the
nights；　by　stinting　herself　of　food；　and　by　means　of　having　disposed　of
the　last　article　with　which　she　could　possibly　part；　had　managed　to
support　her　grandmother　and　herself；　until　she　saw　me　so　far　done　as　to
be　within　another　day's　work　of　completion。　At　such　a　moment　as　this
all　feeling　of　vanity　is　out　of　the　question。　I　was　certainly　very　beautiful。
A　neater；　a　more　tasteful；　a　finer；　or　a　more　exquisitely　laced
handkerchief；　did　not　exist　within　the　walls　of　Paris。　In　all　that　she
figured　to　herself；　as　related　to　my　appearance；　the　end　justified　her
brightest　expectations；　but；　as　that　end　drew　near；　she　felt　how
insufficient　were　human　results　to　meet　the　desires　of　human　hopes。
Now　that　her　painful　and　exhausting　toil　was　nearly　over；　she　did　not
experience　the　happiness　she　had　anticipated。　The　fault　was　not　in　me；
but　in　herself。　Hope　had　exhausted　her　spirit；　and　as　if　merely　to　teach
the　vanity　of　the　wishes　of　men；　a　near　approach　to　the　object　that　had
seemed　so　desirable　in　the　distance；　had　stripped　off　the　mask　and　left
the　real　countenance　exposed。　There　was　nothing　unusual　in　this；　it　was
merely　following　out　a　known　law　of　nature。



CHAPTER　VII。

The　morning　of　the　14th　June　arrived。　Paris　is　then　at　its　loveliest
season。　The　gardens　in　particular　are　worthy　of　the　capital　of　Europe；
and　they　are　open　to　all　who　can　manage　to　make　a　decent　appearance。
Adrienne's　hotel　had　a　little　garden　in　the　rear；　and　she　sat　at　her
window　endeavoring　to　breathe　the　balmy　odors　that　arose　from　it。
Enter　it　she　could　not。　It　was　the　property；　or　devoted　to　the　uses；　of
the　occupant　of　the　rez　de　chaussee。　Still　she　might　look　at　it　as　often　as
she　dared　to　raise　her　eyes　from　her　needle。　The　poor　girl　was　not　what
she　had　been　two　months　before。　The　handkerchief　wanted　but　a　few
hours　of　being　finished；　it　is　true；　but　the　pale　cheeks；　the　hollow　eyes
and　the　anxious　look；　proved　at　what　a　sacrifice　of　health　and　physical
force　I　had　become　what　I　was。　As　I　had　grown　in　beauty；　the　hand
that　ornamented　me　had　wasted；　and　when　I　looked　up　to　catch　the
smile　of　approbation；　it　was　found　to　be　care　worn　and　melancholy。　Still
the　birds　did　not　sing　the　less　sweetly；　for　Paris　is　full　of　birds；　the　roses
were　as　fragrant；　and　the　verdure　was　as　deep　as　ever。　Nature　does　not
stop　to　lament　over　any　single　victim　of　human　society。　When　misery　is
the　deepest；　there　is　something　awful　in　this　perpetual　and　smiling　round
of　natural　movements。　It　teaches　profoundly　the　insignificance　of　the
atoms　of　creation。

｛rez　de　chaussee　　ground　floor｝

Adrienne　had　risen　earlier　than　common；　even；　this　morning；　determined
to　get　through　with　her　task　by　noon；　for　she　was　actually　sewing　on　the
lace；　and　her　impatience　would　not　permit　her　to　resume　the　work　of
the　milliner　that　day；　at　least。　For　the　last　month　she　had　literally　lived　on
dry　bread　herself；　at　first　with　a　few　grapes　to　give　her　appetite　a　little
gratification；　but　toward　the　last；　on　nothing　but　bread　and　water。　She
had　not　suffered　so　much　from　a　want　of　food；　however；　as　from　a　want
of　air　and　exercise；　from　unremitting；　wasting　toil　at　a　sedentary
occupation；　from　hope　deferred　and　from　sleepless　nights。　Then　she
wanted　the　cheering　association　of　sympathy。　She　was　strictly　alone；
with　the　exception　of　her　short　interviews　with　the　milliner；　she
conversed　with　no　one。　Her　grandmother　slept　most　of　the　time；　and
when　she　did　speak；　it　was　with　the　querulousness　of　disease；　and　not　in
the　tones　of　affection。　This　was　hardest　of　all　to　bear；　but　Adrienne　did
bear　up　under　all；　flattering　herself　that　when　she　could　remove　Mad。　de
la　Rocheaimard　into　the　country；　her　grandmother　would　revive　and
become　as　fond　of　her　as　ever。　She　toiled　on；　therefore；　though　she
could　not　altogether　suppress　her　tears。　Under　her　painful　and　pressing
circumstances；　the　poor　girl　felt　her　deepest　affliction　to　be　that　she　had
not　time　to　pray。　Her　work；　now　that　she　had　nothing　to　expect　from
the　milliner；　could　not　be　laid　aside　for　a　moment；　though　her　soul　did
pour　out　its　longings　as　she　sat　plying　her　needle。

Fortunately；　Madame　de　la　Rocheaimard　was　easy　and　tranquil　the
whole　of　the　last　morning。　Although　nearly　exhausted　by　her　toil　and　the
want　of　food；　for　Adrienne　had　eaten　her　last　morsel；　half　a　roll；　at
breakfast；　she　continued　to　toil；　but　the　work　was　nearly　done；　and　the
dear　girl's　needle　fairly　flew。　Of　a　sudden　she　dropped　me　in　her　lap　and
burst　into　a　flood　of　tears。　Her　sobs　were　hysterical；　and　I　felt　afraid　she
would　faint。　A　glass　of　water；　however；　restored　her；　and　then　this
outpouring　of　an　exhausted　nature　was　suppressed。　I　was　completed！
At　that　instant；　if　not　the　richest；　I　was　probably　the　neatest　and　most
tasteful　handkerchief　in　Paris。　At　this　critical　moment；　Desiree；　the
commissionaire；　entered　the　room。

》From　the　moment　that　Adrienne　had　purchased　me；　this　artful　woman
had　never　lost　sight　of　the　intended　victim。　By　means　of　an　occasional
bribe　to　little　Nathalie；　she　ascertained　the　precise　progress　of　the　work；
and　learning　that　I　should　probably　be　ready　for　sale　that　very　morni