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Autobiography of a Pocket…Handkerchief

by James Fenimore Coopoer





CHAPTER I。


Certain moral philosophers; with a due disdain of the flimsy foundations
of human pride; have shown that every man is equally descended from a
million of ancestors; within a given number of generations; thereby
demonstrating that no prince exists who does not participate in the
blood of some beggar; or any beggar who does not share in the blood
of princes。 Although favored by a strictly vegetable descent myself; the
laws of nature have not permitted me to escape from the influence of
this common rule。 The earliest accounts I possess of my progenitors
represent them as a goodly growth of the Linum Usitatissimum; divided
into a thousand cotemporaneous plants; singularly well conditioned; and
remarkable for an equality that renders the production valuable。 In this
particular; then; I may be said to enjoy a precedency over the
Bourbons; themselves; who now govern no less than four different
states of Europe; and who have sat on thrones these thousand years。

{Linum Usitatissimum = Linum usitatissimum (Cooper's capitalization
varies) is the botanical name for the variety of flax from which linen is
made}

While our family has followed the general human law in the matter just
mentioned; it forms a marked exception to the rule that so absolutely
controls all of white blood; on this continent; in what relates to
immigration and territorial origin。 When the American enters on the
history of his ancestors; he is driven; after some ten or twelve
generations at most; to seek refuge in a country in Europe; whereas
exactly the reverse is the case with us; our most remote extraction being
American; while our more recent construction and education have taken
place in Europe。 When I speak of the 〃earliest accounts I possess of my
progenitors;〃 authentic information is meant only; for; like other races;
we have certain dark legends that might possibly carry us back again to
the old world in quest of our estates and privileges。 But; in writing this
history; it has been my determination from the first; to record nothing
but settled truths; and to reject everything in the shape of vague report
or unauthenticated anecdote。 Under these limitations; I have ever
considered my family as American by origin; European by emigration;
and restored to its paternal soil by the mutations and calculations of
industry and trade。

The glorious family of cotemporaneous plants from which I derive my
being; grew in a lovely vale of Connecticut; and quite near to the banks
of the celebrated river of the same name。 This renders us strictly
Yankee in our origin; an extraction of which I find all who enjoy it fond
of boasting。 It is the only subject of self…felicitation with which I am
acquainted that men can indulge in; without awakening the envy of their
fellow…creatures; from which I infer it is at least innocent; if not
commendable。

We have traditions among us of the enjoyments of our predecessors; as
they rioted in the fertility of their cis…atlantic field; a happy company of
thriving and luxuriant plants。 Still; I shall pass them over; merely
remarking that a bountiful nature has made such provision for the
happiness of all created things as enables each to rejoice in its existence;
and to praise; after its fashion and kind; the divine Being to which it
owes its creation。

{cis…atlantic = this side of the Atlantic (Latin)}

In due time; the field in which my forefathers grew was gathered; the
seed winnowed from the chaff and collected in casks; when the whole
company was shipped for Ireland。 Now occurred one of those chances
which decide the fortunes of plants; as well as those of men; giving me a
claim to Norman; instead of Milesian descent。 The embarkation; or
shipment of my progenitors; whichever may be the proper expression;
occurred in the height of the last general war; and; for a novelty; it
occurred in an English ship。 A French privateer captured the vessel on
her passage home; the flaxseed was condemned and sold; my ancestors
being transferred in a body to the ownership of a certain agriculturist in
the neighborhood of Evreux; who dealt largely in such articles。 There
have been evil disposed vegetables that have seen fit to reproach us
with this sale as a stigma on our family history; but I have ever
considered it myself as a circumstance of which one has no more reason
to be ashamed than a D'Uzes has to blush for the robberies of a baron
of the middle ages。 Each is an incident in the progress of civilization; the
man and the vegetable alike taking the direction pointed out by
Providence for the fulfilment of his or its destiny。

{Milesian = slang for Irish; from Milesius; mythical Spanish conqueror
of Ireland; Evreux = town in Normandy; France; a D'Uzes = a member
of an ancient noble family in southern France}

Plants have sensation as well as animals。 The latter; however; have no
consciousness anterior to their physical births; and very little; indeed; for
some time afterwards; whereas a different law prevails as respects us;
our mental conformation being such as to enable us to refer our moral
existence to a period that embraces the experience; reasoning and
sentiments of several generations。 As respects logical inductions; for
instance; the linum usitatissimum draws as largely on the intellectual
acquisitions of the various epochas that belonged to the three or four
parent stems which preceded it; as on its own。 In a word; that
accumulated knowledge which man inherits by means of books;
imparted and transmitted information; schools; colleges; and universities;
we obtain through more subtle agencies that are incorporated with our
organic construction; and which form a species of hereditary
mesmerism; a vegetable clairvoyance that enables us to see with the
eyes; hear with the ears; and digest with the understandings of our
predecessors。

{epochas = archaic Latinized spelling of epochs}

Some of the happiest moments of my moral existence were thus
obtained; while our family was growing in the fields of Normandy。 It
happened that a distinguished astronomer selected a beautiful seat; that
was placed on the very margin of our position; as a favorite spot for his
observations and discourses; from a recollection of the latter of which;
in particular; I still derive indescribable satisfaction。 It seems as only
yesterdayit is in fact fourteen long; long yearsthat I heard him thus
holding forth to his pupils; explaining the marvels of the illimitable void;
and rendering clear to my understanding the vast distance that exists
between the Being that created all things and the works of his hands。 To
those who live in the narrow circle of human interests and human
feelings; there ever exists; unheeded; almost unnoticed; before their very
eyes; the most humbling proofs of their own comparative insignificance
in the scale of creation; which; in the midst of their admitted mastery
over the earth and all it contains; it would be well for them to consider;
if they would obtain just views of what they are and what they were
intended to be。

I think I can still hear this learned and devout manfor his soul was
filled with devotion to the dread Being that could hold a universe in
subjection to His willdwelling with delight on all the discoveries among
the heavenly bodies; that the recent improvements in science and
mechanics have enabled the astronomers to make。 Fortunately; he gave
his discourses somewhat of the progressive character of lectures;
leading his listeners on; as it might be step by step; in a way to render all
easy to the commonest understanding。 Thus it was; I first got accurate
notions of the almost inconceivable magnitude of space; to which;
indeed; it is probable there are no more positive limits than there are a
beginning and an end to eternity! Can these wonders be; I thoughtand
how pitiful in those who affect to reduce all things to the level of their
own powers of comprehension; and their own experience in practice!
Let them exercise their sublime and boasted reason; I said to myself; in
endeavoring to comprehend infinity in any thing; and we will note the
result! If it be in space; we shall find them setting bounds to their
illimitable void; until ashamed of the feebleness of their first effort; it is
renewed; again and again; only to furnish new proofs of the insufficiency
of any of earth; even to bring within the compass of their imaginations
truths that all their experiments; inductions; evidence and revelations
compel them to admit。

〃The moon has no atmosphere;〃 said our astronomer one day; 〃and if
inhabited at all; it must be by beings constructed altogether differently
from ourselves。 Nothing that has life; either animal or vegetable as we
know them; can exist without air; and it follows that nothing having life;
according to our views of it; can exist in the moon:or; if any thing
having life do exist there; it must be under such modifications of all our
known facts; as to amount to something like other principles of being。〃
〃One side of that planet feels the genial warmth of the sun for a fortnight;
while the o

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