the muse of the department-第36节

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joy　filled　him　with　rapture。

〃Why　are　you　so　startled？〃　said　she；　making　him　sit　down　again。　〃That
is　how　I　love　him。〃

The　lawyer　understood　this　argument　/ad　hominem/。　And　there　were　tears
in　the　eyes　of　the　Judge；　who　had　just　condemned　a　man　to　death！

Lousteau's　satiety；　that　odious　conclusion　of　such　illicit　relations；
had　betrayed　itself　in　a　thousand　little　things；　which　are　like　grains
of　sand　thrown　against　the　panes　of　the　little　magical　hut　where　those
who　love　dwell　and　dream。　These　grains　of　sand；　which　grow　to　be
pebbles；　had　never　been　discerned　by　Dinah　till　they　were　as　big　as
rocks。　Madame　de　la　Baudraye　had　at　last　thoroughly　understood
Lousteau's　character。

〃He　is；〃　she　said　to　her　mother；　〃a　poet；　defenceless　against
disaster；　mean　out　of　laziness；　not　for　want　of　heart；　and　rather　too
prone　to　pleasure；　in　short；　a　great　cat；　whom　it　is　impossible　to
hate。　What　would　become　of　him　without　me？　I　hindered　his　marriage；　he
has　no　prospects。　His　talent　would　perish　in　privations。〃

〃Oh；　my　Dinah！〃　Madame　Piedefer　had　exclaimed；　〃what　a　hell　you　live
in！　What　is　the　feeling　that　gives　you　strength　enough　to　persist？〃

〃I　will　be　a　mother　to　him！〃　she　had　replied。

There　are　certain　horrible　situations　in　which　we　come　to　no　decision
till　the　moment　when　our　friends　discern　our　dishonor。　We　accept
compromises　with　ourself　so　long　as　we　escape　a　censor　who　comes　to
play　prosecutor。　Monsieur　de　Clagny；　as　clumsy　as　a　tortured　man；　had
been　torturing　Dinah。

〃To　preserve　my　love　I　will　be　all　that　Madame　de　Pompadour　was　to
preserve　her　power；〃　said　she　to　herself　when　Monsieur　de　Clagny　had
left　her。　And　this　phrase　sufficiently　proves　that　her　love　was
becoming　a　burden　to　her；　and　would　presently　be　a　toil　rather　than　a
pleasure。

The　part　now　assumed　by　Dinah　was　horribly　painful；　and　Lousteau　made
it　no　easier　to　play。　When　he　wanted　to　go　out　after　dinner　he　would
perform　the　tenderest　little　farces　of　affection；　and　address　Dinah　in
words　full　of　devotion；　he　would　take　her　by　the　chain；　and　when　he
had　bruised　her　with　it；　even　while　he　hurt　her；　the　lordly　ingrate
would　say；　〃Did　I　wound　you？〃

These　false　caresses　and　deceptions　had　degrading　consequences　for
Dinah；　who　believed　in　a　revival　of　his　love。　The　mother；　alas；　gave
way　to　the　mistress　with　shameful　readiness。　She　felt　herself　a　mere
plaything　in　the　man's　hands；　and　at　last　she　confessed　to　herself：

〃Well；　then；　I　will　be　his　plaything！〃　finding　joy　in　itthe　rapture
of　damnation。

When　this　woman；　of　a　really　manly　spirit；　pictured　herself　as　living
in　solitude；　she　felt　her　courage　fail。　She　preferred　the　anticipated
and　inevitable　miseries　of　this　fierce　intimacy　to　the　absence　of　the
joys；　which　were　all　the　more　exquisite　because　they　arose　from　the
midst　of　remorse；　of　terrible　struggles　with　herself；　of　a　/No/
persuaded　to　be　/Yes/。　At　every　moment　she　seemed　to　come　across　the
pool　of　bitter　water　found　in　a　desert；　and　drunk　with　greater　relish
than　the　traveler　would　find　in　sipping　the　finest　wines　at　a　prince's
table。

When　Dinah　wondered　to　herself　at　midnight：

〃Will　he　come　home；　or　will　he　not？〃　she　was　not　alive　again　till　she
heard　the　familiar　sound　of　Lousteau's　boots；　and　his　well…known　ring
at　the　bell。

She　would　often　try　to　restrain　him　by　giving　him　pleasure；　she　would
hope　to　be　a　match　for　her　rivals；　and　leave　them　no　hold　on　that
agitated　heart。　How　many　times　a　day　would　she　rehearse　the　tragedy　of
/Le　Dernier　Jour　d'un　condamne/；　saying　to　herself；　〃To…morrow　we
part。〃　And　how　often　would　a　word；　a　look；　a　kiss　full　of　apparently
artless　feeling；　bring　her　back　to　the　depths　of　her　love！

It　was　terrible。　More　than　once　had　she　meditated　suicide　as　she　paced
the　little　town　garden　where　a　few　pale　flowers　bloomed。　In　fact；　she
had　not　yet　exhausted　the　vast　treasure　of　devotion　and　love　which　a
loving　woman　bears　in　her　heart。

The　romance　of　/Adolphe/　was　her　Bible；　her　study；　for　above　all　else
she　would　not　be　an　Ellenore。　She　allowed　herself　no　tears；　she
avoided　all　the　bitterness　so　cleverly　described　by　the　critic　to　whom
we　owe　an　analysis　of　this　striking　work；　whose　comments　indeed　seemed
to　Dinah　almost　superior　to　the　book。　And　she　read　again　and　again
this　fine　essay　by　the　only　real　critic　who　has　written　in　the　/Revue
des　Deux　Mondes/；　an　article　now　printed　at　the　beginning　of　the　new
edition　of　/Adolphe/。

〃No；〃　she　would　say　to　herself；　as　she　repeated　the　author's　fateful
words；　〃no；　I　will　not　'give　my　requests　the　form　of　an　order；'　I　will
not　'fly　to　tears　as　a　means　of　revenge；'　I　will　not　'condemn　the
things　I　once　approved　without　reservation；'　I　will　not　'dog　his
footsteps　with　a　prying　eye'；　if　he　plays　truant；　he　shall　not　on　his
return　'see　a　scornful　lip；　whose　kiss　is　an　unanswerable　command。'
No；　'my　silence　shall　not　be　a　reproach　nor　my　first　word　a　quarrel。'
I　will　not　be　like　every　other　woman！〃　she　went　on；　laying　on　her
table　the　little　yellow　paper　volume　which　had　already　attracted
Lousteau's　remark；　〃What！　are　you　studying　/Adolphe/？〃〃If　for　one
day　only　he　should　recognize　my　merits　and　say；　'That　victim　never
uttered　a　cry！'it　will　be　all　I　ask。　And　besides；　the　others　only
have　him　for　an　hour；　I　have　him　for　life！〃

Thinking　himself　justified　by　his　private　tribunal　in　punishing　his
wife；　Monsieur　de　la　Baudraye　robbed　her　to　achieve　his　cherished
enterprise　of　reclaiming　three　thousand　acres　of　moorland；　to　which　he
had　devoted　himself　ever　since　1836；　living　like　a　mouse。　He
manipulated　the　property　left　by　Monsieur　Silas　Piedefer　so
ingeniously；　that　he　contrived　to　reduce　the　proved　value　to　eight
hundred　thousand　francs；　while　pocketing　twelve　hundred　thousand。　He
did　not　announce　his　return；　but　while　his　wife　was　enduring
unspeakable　woes；　he　was　building　farms；　digging　trenches；　and
ploughing　rough　ground　with　a　courage　that　ranked　him　among　the　most
remarkable　agriculturists　of　the　province。

The　four　hundred　thousand　francs　he　had　filched　from　his　wife　were
spent　in　three　years　on　this　undertaking；　and　the　estate　of　Anzy　was
expected　to　return　seventy…two　thousand　francs　a　year　of　net　profits
after　the　taxes　were　paid。　The　eight　hundred　thousand　he　invested　at
four　and　a　half　per　cent　in　the　funds；　buying　at　eighty　francs；　at　the
time　of　the　financial　crisis　brought　about　by　the　Ministry　of　the
First　of　March；　as　it　was　called。　By　thus　securing　to　his　wife　an
income　of　forty…eight　thousand　francs　he　considered　himself　no　longer
in　her　debt。　Could　he　not　restore　the　odd　twelve　hundred　thousand　as
soon　as　the　four　and　a　half　per　cents　had　risen　above　a　hundred？　He
was　now　the　greatest　man　in　Sancerre；　with　the　exception　of　onethe
richest　proprietor　in　Francewhose　rival　he　considered　himself。　He
saw　himself　with　an　income　of　a　hundred　and　forty　thousand　francs；　of
which　ninety　thousand　formed　the　revenue　from　the　lands　he　had
entailed。　Having　calculated　that　besides　this　net　income　he　paid　ten
thousand　francs　in　taxes；　three　thousand　in　working　expenses；　ten
thousand　to　his　wife；　and　twelve　hundred　to　his　mother…in…law；　he
would　say　in　the　literary　circles　of　Sancerre：

〃I　am　reputed　miserly；　and　said　to　spend　nothing；　but　my　outlay
amounts　to　twenty…six　thousand　five　hundred　francs　a　year。　And　I　have
still　to　pay　for　the　education　of　my　two　children！　I　daresay　it　is　not
a　pleasing　fact　to　the　Milauds　of　Nevers；　but　the　second　house　of　La
Baudraye　may　yet　have　as　noble　a　center　as　the　first。I　shall　most
likely　go　to　Paris　and　petition　the　King　of　the　French　to　grant　me　the
title　of　CountMonsieur　Roy　is　a　Countand　my　wife　would　be　pleased
to　be　Madame　la　Comtesse。〃

And　this　was　said　with　such　splendid　coolness　that　no　one　would　have
dared　to　laugh　at　the　little　man。　Only　Monsieur　Boirouge；　the
Presiding　Judge；　remarked：

〃In　your　place；　I　should　not　be　happy　unless　I　had　a　daughter。〃

〃Well；　I　shall　go　to　Paris　before　long〃　said　the　Baron。

In　the　early　part　of　1842　Madame　de　la　Baudraye；　feeling　that　she　was
to　Lousteau　no　more　than　a　reserve　in　the　background；　had　again
sacrificed　herself　absolutely　to　secure　his　comfort；　she　had　resumed
her　black　raiment；　but　now　it　was　in　sign　of　mourning；　for　her
pleasure　was　turning　to　remorse。　She　was　too　often　put　to　shame　not　to
feel　the　weight　of　the　chain；　and　her　mother　found　her　sunk　in　those
moods　of　meditation　into　which　visions　of　the　future　cast　unhappy
souls　in　a　sort　of　torpor。

Madame　Piedefer；　by　the　advice　of　her　spiritual　director；　was　on　the
watch　for　the　moment　of　exhaustion；　which　the　priest　told　her　would
inevitably　supervene；　and　then　she　pleaded　in　behalf　of　the　children。
She　restricted　herself　to　urging　that　Dinah　and　Lousteau　should　live
apart；　not　asking　her　to　give　him　up。　In　real　life　these　violent
situations　are　not　closed　as　they　are　in　books；　by　death　or　cleverly
contrived　catastrophes；　they　end　far　less　poeticallyin　disgust；　in
the　blighting　of　every　flower　of　the　soul；　in　the　commonplace　of
habit；　and　very　often　too　in　another　passion；　which　robs　a　wife　of　the
interest　which　is　traditionally　ascribed　to　women。　So；　when　common
se