the uncommercial traveller-第81节
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condition to arrange affairs with flock。
There was another Sunday; when an officer of the ship read the
service。 It was quiet and impressive; until we fell upon the
dangerous and perfectly unnecessary experiment of striking up a
hymn。 After it was given out; we all rose; but everybody left it
to somebody else to begin。 Silence resulting; the officer (no
singer himself) rather reproachfully gave us the first line again;
upon which a rosy pippin of an old gentleman; remarkable throughout
the passage for his cheerful politeness; gave a little stamp with
his boot (as if he were leading off a country dance); and blithely
warbled us into a show of joining。 At the end of the first verse
we became; through these tactics; so much refreshed and encouraged;
that none of us; howsoever unmelodious; would submit to be left out
of the second verse; while as to the third we lifted up our voices
in a sacred howl that left it doubtful whether we were the more
boastful of the sentiments we united in professing; or of
professing them with a most discordant defiance of time and tune。
'Lord bless us!' thought I; when the fresh remembrance of these
things made me laugh heartily alone in the dead water…gurgling
waste of the night; what time I was wedged into my berth by a
wooden bar; or I must have rolled out of it; 'what errand was I
then upon; and to what Abyssinian point had public events then
marched? No matter as to me。 And as to them; if the wonderful
popular rage for a plaything (utterly confounding in its
inscrutable unreason) I had not then lighted on a poor young savage
boy; and a poor old screw of a horse; and hauled the first off by
the hair of his princely head to 〃inspect〃 the British volunteers;
and hauled the second off by the hair of his equine tail to the
Crystal Palace; why so much the better for all of us outside
Bedlam!'
So; sticking to the ship; I was at the trouble of asking myself
would I like to show the grog distribution in 'the fiddle' at noon
to the Grand United Amalgamated Total Abstinence Society? Yes; I
think I should。 I think it would do them good to smell the rum;
under the circumstances。 Over the grog; mixed in a bucket;
presides the boatswain's mate; small tin can in hand。 Enter the
crew; the guilty consumers; the grown…up brood of Giant Despair; in
contradistinction to the band of youthful angel Hope。 Some in
boots; some in leggings; some in tarpaulin overalls; some in
frocks; some in pea…coats; a very few in jackets; most with
sou'wester hats; all with something rough and rugged round the
throat; all; dripping salt water where they stand; all pelted by
weather; besmeared with grease; and blackened by the sooty rigging。
Each man's knife in its sheath in his girdle; loosened for dinner。
As the first man; with a knowingly kindled eye; watches the filling
of the poisoned chalice (truly but a very small tin mug; to be
prosaic); and; tossing back his head; tosses the contents into
himself; and passes the empty chalice and passes on; so the second
man with an anticipatory wipe of his mouth on sleeve or
handkerchief; bides his turn; and drinks and hands and passes on;
in whom; and in each as his turn approaches; beams a knowingly
kindled eye; a brighter temper; and a suddenly awakened tendency to
be jocose with some shipmate。 Nor do I even observe that the man
in charge of the ship's lamps; who in right of his office has a
double allowance of poisoned chalices; seems thereby vastly
degraded; even though he empties the chalices into himself; one
after the other; much as if he were delivering their contents at
some absorbent establishment in which he had no personal interest。
But vastly comforted; I note them all to be; on deck presently;
even to the circulation of redder blood in their cold blue
knuckles; and when I look up at them lying out on the yards; and
holding on for life among the beating sails; I cannot for MY life
see the justice of visiting on them … or on me … the drunken crimes
of any number of criminals arraigned at the heaviest of assizes。
Abetting myself in my idle humour; I closed my eyes; and recalled
life on board of one of those mail…packets; as I lay; part of that
day; in the Bay of New York; O! The regular life began … mine
always did; for I never got to sleep afterwards … with the rigging
of the pump while it was yet dark; and washing down of decks。 Any
enormous giant at a prodigious hydropathic establishment;
conscientiously undergoing the water…cure in all its departments;
and extremely particular about cleaning his teeth; would make those
noises。 Swash; splash; scrub; rub; toothbrush; bubble; swash;
splash; bubble; toothbrush; splash; splash; bubble; rub。 Then the
day would break; and; descending from my berth by a graceful ladder
composed of half…opened drawers beneath it; I would reopen my outer
dead…light and my inner sliding window (closed by a watchman during
the water…cure); and would look out at the long…rolling; lead…
coloured; white topped waves over which the dawn; on a cold winter
morning; cast a level; lonely glance; and through which the ship
fought her melancholy way at a terrific rate。 And now; lying down
again; awaiting the season for broiled ham and tea; I would be
compelled to listen to the voice of conscience; … the screw。
It might be; in some cases; no more than the voice of stomach; but
I called it in my fancy by the higher name。 Because it seemed to
me that we were all of us; all day long; endeavouring to stifle the
voice。 Because it was under everybody's pillow; everybody's plate;
everybody's camp…stool; everybody's book; everybody's occupation。
Because we pretended not to hear it; especially at meal…times;
evening whist; and morning conversation on deck; but it was always
among us in an under monotone; not to be drowned in pea…soup; not
to be shuffled with cards; not to be diverted by books; not to be
knitted into any pattern; not to be walked away from。 It was
smoked in the weediest cigar; and drunk in the strongest cocktail;
it was conveyed on deck at noon with limp ladies; who lay there in
their wrappers until the stars shone; it waited at table with the
stewards; nobody could put it out with the lights。 It was
considered (as on shore) ill…bred to acknowledge the voice of
conscience。 It was not polite to mention it。 One squally day an
amiable gentleman in love gave much offence to a surrounding
circle; including the object of his attachment; by saying of it;
after it had goaded him over two easy…chairs and a skylight;
'Screw!'
Sometimes it would appear subdued。 In fleeting moments; when
bubbles of champagne pervaded the nose; or when there was 'hot pot'
in the bill of fare; or when an old dish we had had regularly every
day was described in that official document by a new name; … under
such excitements; one would almost believe it hushed。 The ceremony
of washing plates on deck; performed after every meal by a circle
as of ringers of crockery triple…bob majors for a prize; would keep
it down。 Hauling the reel; taking the sun at noon; posting the
twenty…four hours' run; altering the ship's time by the meridian;
casting the waste food overboard; and attracting the eager gulls
that followed in our wake; … these events would suppress it for a
while。 But the instant any break or pause took place in any such
diversion; the voice would be at it again; importuning us to the
last extent。 A newly married young pair; who walked the deck
affectionately some twenty miles per day; would; in the full flush
of their exercise; suddenly become stricken by it; and stand
trembling; but otherwise immovable; under its reproaches。
When this terrible monitor was most severe with us was when the
time approached for our retiring to our dens for the night; when
the lighted candles in the saloon grew fewer and fewer; when the
deserted glasses with spoons in them grew more and more numerous;
when waifs of toasted cheese and strays of sardines fried in batter
slid languidly to and fro in the table…racks; when the man who
always read had shut up his book; and blown out his candle; when
the man who always talked had ceased from troubling; when the man
who was always medically reported as going to have delirium tremens
had put it off till to…morrow; when the man who every night devoted
himself to a midnight smoke on deck two hours in length; and who
every night was in bed within ten minutes afterwards; was buttoning
himself up in his third coat for his hardy vigil: for then; as we
fell off one by one; and; entering our several hutches; came into a
peculiar atmosphere of bilge…water and Windsor soap; the voice
would shake us to the centre。 Woe to us when we sat down on our
sofa; watching the swinging candle for ever trying and retrying to
stand upon his head! or our coat upon its peg; imitating us as we
appeared in our gymnastic days by sustaining