the wife and other stories-第4节

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thought　that　our　ship；　which　had　no　freight　nor　ballast；　would　overturn。　And　that　evening　I　understood　that　my　uneasiness　was　not　disappointment；　as　I　had　supposed；　but　a　different　feeling；　though　what　exactly　I　could　not　say；　and　that　irritated　me　more　than　ever。

〃I　will　go　to　her；〃　I　decided。　〃I　can　think　of　a　pretext。　I　shall　say　that　I　want　to　see　Ivan　Ivanitch；　that　will　be　all。〃

I　went　downstairs　and　walked　without　haste　over　the　carpeted　floor　through　the　vestibule　and　the　hall。　Ivan　Ivanitch　was　sitting　on　the　sofa　in　the　drawing…room；　he　was　drinking　tea　again　and　muttering　something。　My　wife　was　standing　opposite　to　him　and　holding　on　to　the　back　of　a　chair。　There　was　a　gentle；　sweet；　and　docile　expression　on　her　face；　such　as　one　sees　on　the　faces　of　people　listening　to　crazy　saints　or　holy　men　when　a　peculiar　hidden　significance　is　imagined　in　their　vague　words　and　mutterings。　There　was　something　morbid；　something　of　a　nun's　exaltation；　in　my　wife's　expression　and　attitude；　and　her　low…pitched；　half…dark　rooms　with　their　old…fashioned　furniture；　with　her　birds　asleep　in　their　cages；　and　with　a　smell　of　geranium；　reminded　me　of　the　rooms　of　some　abbess　or　pious　old　lady。

I　went　into　the　drawing…room。　My　wife　showed　neither　surprise　nor　confusion；　and　looked　at　me　calmly　and　serenely；　as　though　she　had　known　I　should　come。

〃I　beg　your　pardon；〃　I　said　softly。　〃I　am　so　glad　you　have　not　gone　yet；　Ivan　Ivanitch。　I　forgot　to　ask　you；　do　you　know　the　Christian　name　of　the　president　of　our　Zemstvo？〃

〃Andrey　Stanislavovitch。　Yes。　。　。　。〃

〃_Merci_；〃　I　said；　took　out　my　notebook；　and　wrote　it　down。

There　followed　a　silence　during　which　my　wife　and　Ivan　Ivanitch　were　probably　waiting　for　me　to　go；　my　wife　did　not　believe　that　I　wanted　to　know　the　president's　name　　I　saw　that　from　her　eyes。

〃Well；　I　must　be　going；　my　beauty；〃　muttered　Ivan　Ivanitch；　after　I　had　walked　once　or　twice　across　the　drawing…room　and　sat　down　by　the　fireplace。

〃No；〃　said　Natalya　Gavrilovna　quickly；　touching　his　hand。　〃Stay　another　quarter　of　an　hour。　。　。　。　Please　do！〃

Evidently　she　did　not　wish　to　be　left　alone　with　me　without　a　witness。

〃Oh；　well；　I'll　wait　a　quarter　of　an　hour；　too；〃　I　thought。

〃Why；　it's　snowing！〃　I　said；　getting　up　and　looking　out　of　window。　〃A　good　fall　of　snow！　Ivan　Ivanitch〃　I　went　on　walking　about　the　room　　〃I　do　regret　not　being　a　sportsman。　I　can　imagine　what　a　pleasure　it　must　be　coursing　hares　or　hunting　wolves　in　snow　like　this！〃

My　wife；　standing　still；　watched　my　movements；　looking　out　of　the　corner　of　her　eyes　without　turning　her　head。　She　looked　as　though　she　thought　I　had　a　sharp　knife　or　a　revolver　in　my　pocket。

〃Ivan　Ivanitch；　do　take　me　out　hunting　some　day；〃　I　went　on　softly。　〃I　shall　be　very；　very　grateful　to　you。〃

At　that　moment　a　visitor　came　into　the　room。　He　was　a　tall；　thick…set　gentleman　whom　I　did　not　know；　with　a　bald　head；　a　big　fair　beard；　and　little　eyes。　From　his　baggy；　crumpled　clothes　and　his　manners　I　took　him　to　be　a　parish　clerk　or　a　teacher；　but　my　wife　introduced　him　to　me　as　Dr。　Sobol。

〃Very；　very　glad　to　make　your　acquaintance；〃　said　the　doctor　in　a　loud　tenor　voice；　shaking　hands　with　me　warmly；　with　a　naive　smile。　〃Very　glad！〃

He　sat　down　at　the　table；　took　a　glass　of　tea；　and　said　in　a　loud　voice：

〃Do　you　happen　to　have　a　drop　of　rum　or　brandy？　Have　pity　on　me；　Olya；　and　look　in　the　cupboard；　I　am　frozen；〃　he　said；　addressing　the　maid。

I　sat　down　by　the　fire　again；　looked　on；　listened；　and　from　time　to　time　put　in　a　word　in　the　general　conversation。　My　wife　smiled　graciously　to　the　visitors　and　kept　a　sharp　lookout　on　me；　as　though　I　were　a　wild　beast。　She　was　oppressed　by　my　presence；　and　this　aroused　in　me　jealousy；　annoyance；　and　an　obstinate　desire　to　wound　her。　〃Wife；　these　snug　rooms；　the　place　by　the　fire；〃　I　thought；　〃are　mine；　have　been　mine　for　years；　but　some　crazy　Ivan　Ivanitch　or　Sobol　has　for　some　reason　more　right　to　them　than　I。　Now　I　see　my　wife；　not　out　of　window；　but　close　at　hand；　in　ordinary　home　surroundings　that　I　feel　the　want　of　now　I　am　growing　older；　and；　in　spite　of　her　hatred　for　me；　I　miss　her　as　years　ago　in　my　childhood　I　used　to　miss　my　mother　and　my　nurse。　And　I　feel　that　now；　on　the　verge　of　old　age；　my　love　for　her　is　purer　and　loftier　than　it　was　in　the　past；　and　that　is　why　I　want　to　go　up　to　her；　to　stamp　hard　on　her　toe　with　my　heel；　to　hurt　her　and　smile　as　I　do　it。〃

〃Monsieur　Marten；〃　I　said；　addressing　the　doctor；　〃how　many　hospitals　have　we　in　the　district？〃

〃Sobol；〃　my　wife　corrected。

〃Two；〃　answered　Sobol。

〃And　how　many　deaths　are　there　every　year　in　each　hospital？〃

〃Pavel　Andreitch；　I　want　to　speak　to　you；〃　said　my　wife。

She　apologized　to　the　visitors　and　went　to　the　next　room。　I　got　up　and　followed　her。

〃You　will　go　upstairs　to　your　own　rooms　this　minute；〃　she　said。

〃You　are　ill…bred；〃　I　said　to　her。

〃You　will　go　upstairs　to　your　own　rooms　this　very　minute；〃　she　repeated　sharply；　and　she　looked　into　my　face　with　hatred。

She　was　standing　so　near　that　if　I　had　stooped　a　lit　tle　my　beard　would　have　touched　her　face。

〃What　is　the　matter？〃　I　asked。　〃What　harm　have　I　done　all　at　once？〃

Her　chin　quivered；　she　hastily　wiped　her　eyes；　and；　with　a　cursory　glance　at　the　looking…glass；　whispered：

〃The　old　story　is　beginning　all　over　again。　Of　course　you　won't　go　away。　Well；　do　as　you　like。　I'll　go　away　myself；　and　you　stay。〃

We　returned　to　the　drawing…room；　she　with　a　resolute　face；　while　I　shrugged　my　shoulders　and　tried　to　smile。　There　were　some　more　visitors　　an　elderly　lady　and　a　young　man　in　spectacles。　Without　greeting　the　new　arrivals　or　taking　leave　of　the　others；　I　went　off　to　my　own　rooms。

After　what　had　happened　at　tea　and　then　again　downstairs；　it　became　clear　to　me　that　our　〃family　happiness；〃　which　we　had　begun　to　forget　about　in　the　course　of　the　last　two　years；　was　through　some　absurd　and　trivial　reason　beginning　all　over　again；　and　that　neither　I　nor　my　wife　could　now　stop　ourselves；　and　that　next　day　or　the　day　after；　the　outburst　of　hatred　would；　as　I　knew　by　experience　of　past　years；　be　followed　by　something　revolting　which　would　upset　the　whole　order　of　our　lives。　〃So　it　seems　that　during　these　two　years　we　have　grown　no　wiser；　colder；　or　calmer；〃　I　thought　as　I　began　walking　about　the　rooms。　〃So　there　will　again　be　tears；　outcries；　curses；　packing　up；　going　abroad；　then　the　continual　sickly　fear　that　she　will　disgrace　me　with　some　coxcomb　out　there；　Italian　or　Russian；　refusing　a　passport；　letters；　utter　loneliness；　missing　her；　and　in　five　years　old　age；　grey　hairs。〃　I　walked　about；　imagining　what　was　really　impossible　　her；　grown　handsomer；　stouter；　embracing　a　man　I　did　not　know。　By　now　convinced　that　that　would　certainly　happen；　〃'Why；〃　I　asked　myself；　〃Why；　in　one　of　our　long　past　quarrels；　had　not　I　given　her　a　divorce；　or　why　had　she　not　at　that　time　left　me　altogether？　I　should　not　have　had　this　yearning　for　her　now；　this　hatred；　this　anxiety；　and　I　should　have　lived　out　my　life　quietly；　working　and　not　worrying　about　anything。〃

A　carriage　with　two　lamps　drove　into　the　yard；　then　a　big　sledge　with　three　horses。　My　wife　was　evidently　having　a　party。

Till　midnight　everything　was　quiet　downstairs　and　I　heard　nothing；　but　at　midnight　there　was　a　sound　of　moving　chairs　and　a　clatter　of　crockery。　So　there　was　supper。　Then　the　chairs　moved　again；　and　through　the　floor　I　heard　a　noise；　they　seemed　to　be　shouting　hurrah。　Marya　Gerasimovna　was　already　asleep　and　I　was　quite　alone　in　the　whole　upper　storey；　the　portraits　of　my　forefathers；　cruel；　insignificant　people；　looked　at　me　from　the　walls　of　the　drawing…room；　and　the　reflection　of　my　lamp　in　the　window　winked　unpleasantly。　And　with　a　feeling　of　jealousy　and　envy　for　what　was　going　on　downstairs；　I　listened　and　thought：　〃I　am　master　here；　if　I　like；　I　can　in　a　moment　turn　out　all　that　fine　crew。〃　But　I　knew　that　all　that　was　nonsense；　that　I　could　not　turn　out　any　one；　and　the　word　〃master〃　had　no　meaning。　One　may　think　oneself　master；　married；　rich；　a　kammer…junker；　as　much　as　one　likes；　and　at　the　same　time　not　know　what　it　means。

After　supper　some　one　downstairs　began　singing　in　a　tenor　voice。

〃Why；　nothing　special　has　happened；〃　I　tried　to　persuade　myself。　〃Why　am　I　so　upset？　I　won't　go　downstairs　tomorrow；　that's　all；　and　that　will　be　the　end　of　our　quarrel。〃

At　a　quarter　past　one　I　went　to　bed。

〃Have　the　visitors　downstairs　gone？〃　I　asked　Alexey　as　he　was　undressing　me。

〃Yes；　sir；　they've　gone。〃

〃And　why　were　they　shouting　hurrah？〃

〃Alexey　Dmitritch　Mahonov　subscribed　for　the　famine　fund　a　thousand　bushels　of　flour　and　a　thousand　roubles。　And　the　old　lady　　I　don't　know　her　name　　promised　to　set　up　a　soup　kitchen　on　her　estate　to　feed　a　hundred　and　fifty　people。　Thank　God　。　。　。　Natalya　Gavrilovna　has　been　pleased　to　arrange　that　all　the　gentry　should　assemble　every　Friday。〃

〃To　assemble　here；　downstairs？〃

〃Yes；　sir。　Before　supper　they　read　a　list：　since　August　up　to　today　Natalya　Gavrilovna　has　collected　eight　thousand　roubles；　besides　corn。　Thank　God。　。　。　。　What　I　think　is　that　if　our　mistress　does　take　trouble　for　the　salvation　of　her　soul；　she　will　soo