what diantha did-第8节

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〃I'm　going　over　to　see　Edwards　about　that　new　incubator；〃　he　said　when
the　meal　was　over；　and　departed；　and　Mrs。　Bell；　after　trying　in　vain　to
do　her　mending；　wiped　her　clouded　glasses　and　went　to　bed。

Diantha　made　all　neat　and　tidy；　washed　her　own　wet　eyes　again；　and　went
out　under　the　moon。　　In　that　broad　tender　mellow　light　she　drew　a　deep
breath　and　stretched　her　strong　young　arms　toward　the　sky　in　dumb
appeal。

〃I　knew　it　would　be　hard；〃　she　murmured　to　herself；　〃That　is　I　knew　the
factsbut　I　didn't　know　the　feeling！〃

She　stood　at　the　gate　between　the　cypresses；　sat　waiting　under　the
acacia　boughs；　walked　restlessly　up　and　down　the　path　outside；　the　dry
pepper　berries　crush　softly　under　foot；　bracing　herself　for　one　more
struggleand　the　hardest　of　all。

〃He　will　understand！〃　he　told　herself；　over　and　over；　but　at　the　bottom
of　her　heart　she　knew　he　wouldn't。

He　came　at　last；　a　slower；　wearier　step　than　usual；　came　and　took　both
her　hands　in　his　and　stood　holding　them；　looking　at　her　questioningly。　
Then　he　held　her　face　between　his　palms　and　made　her　look　at　him。　　Her
eyes　were　brave　and　steady；　but　the　mouth　trembled　in　spite　of　her。

He　stilled　it　with　a　kiss；　and　drew　her　to　a　seat　on　the　bench　beside
him。　　〃My　poor　Little　Girl！　　You　haven't　had　a　chance　yet　to　really　tell
me　about　this　thing；　and　I　want　you　to　right　now。　　Then　I'm　going　to
kill　about　forty　people　in　this　town！　　_Somebody_　has　been　mighty
foolish。〃

She　squeezed　his　hand；　but　found　it　very　difficult　to　speak。　　His　love；
his　sympathy；　his　tenderness；　were　so　delicious　after　this　day's
trialsand　before　those　further　ones　she　could　so　well　anticipate。　　She
didn't　wish　to　cry　any　more；　that　would　by　no　means　strengthen　her
position；　and　she　found　she　couldn't　seem　to　speak　without　crying。

〃One　would　think　to　hear　the　good　people　of　this　town　that　you　were
about　to　leave　home　and　mother　forwell；　for　a　trip　to　the　moon！〃　he
added。　　〃There　isn't　any　agreement　as　to　what　you're　going　to　do；　but
they're　unanimous　as　to　its　being　entirely　wrong。　　Now　suppose　you　tell
me　about　it。〃

〃I　will；〃　said　Diantha。　　〃I　began　to　the　other　night；　you　know；　you
first　of　courseit　was　too　bad！　your　having　to　go　off　at　that　exact
moment。　　Then　I　had　to　tell　motherbecausewell　you'll　see　presently。　
Now　dearjust　let　me　say　it　_all_before　youdo　anything。〃

〃Say　away；　my　darling。　　I　trust　you　perfectly。〃

She　flashed　a　grateful　look　at　him。　　〃It　is　this　way；　my　dear。　　I　have
two；　three；　yes　four；　things　to　consider：My　own　personal　problemmy
family'syoursand　a　social　one。〃

〃My　family's？〃　he　asked；　with　a　faint　shade　of　offence　in　his　tone。

〃No　no　dearyour　own；〃　she　explained。

〃Better　cut　mine　out；　Little　Girl；〃　he　said。　　〃I'll　consider　that
myself。〃

〃WellI　won't　talk　about　it　if　you　don't　want　me　to。　　There　are　the
other　three。〃

〃I　won't　question　your　second；　nor　your　imposing　third；　but　isn't　the
first　oneyour　own　personal　problema　good　deal　answered？〃　he
suggested；　holding　her　close　for　a　moment。

〃Don't！〃　she　said。　　〃I　can't　talk　straight　when　you　put　it　that　way。〃

She　rose　hurriedly　and　took　a　step　or　two　up　and　down。　　〃I　don't
supposein　spite　of　your　loving　me；　that　I　can　make　you　see　it　as　I　do。
　But　I'll　be　just　as　clear　as　I　can。　　There　are　some　years　before　us
before　we　can　be　together。　　In　that　time　I　intend　to　go　away　and
undertake　a　business　I　am　interested　in。　　My　purpose　is　todevelop　the
work；　to　earn　money；　to　help　my　family；　and　towell；　not　to　hinder
you。〃

〃I　don't　understand；　I　confess；〃　he　said。　　〃Don't　you　propose　to　tell　me
what　this　'work'　is？〃

〃YesI　willcertainly。　　But　not　yet　dear！　　Let　me　try　to　show　you　how
I　feel　about　it。〃

〃Wait；〃　said　he。　　〃One　thing　I　want　to　be　sure　of。　　Are　you　doing　this
with　any　quixotic　notion　of　helping　mein　_my_　business？　　Helping　me　to
take　care　of　my　family？　　Helping　me　to〃　he　stood　up　now；　looking　very
tall　and　rather　forbidding；　〃No；　I　won't　say　that　to　you。〃

〃Would　there　be　anything　wrong　in　my　meaning　exactly　that？〃　she　asked；
holding　her　own　head　a　little　higher；　〃both　what　you　said　and　what　you
didn't？〃

〃It　would　be　absolutely　wrong；　all　of　it；〃　he　answered。　　〃I　cannot
believe　that　the　woman　I　love　wouldcould　take　such　a　position。〃

〃Look　here；　Ross！〃　said　the　girl　earnestly。　　〃Suppose　you　knew　where
there　was　a　gold　mine_knew　it_and　by　going　away　for　a　few　years　you
could　get　a　real　fortunewouldn't　you　do　it？〃

〃Naturally　I　should；〃　he　agreed。

〃Well；　suppose　it　wasn't　a　gold　mine；　but　a　business；　a　new　system　like
those　cigar　storesorsome　patent　amusement　specialtyor
_anything_that　you　knew　was　better　than　what　you're　doingwouldn't
you　have　a　right　to　try　it？〃

〃Of　course　I　shouldbut　what　has　that　to　do　with　this　case？〃

〃Why　it's　the　same　thing！　　Don't　you　see？　　I　have　plans　that　will　be　of
real　benefit　to　all　of　us；　something　worth　while　to　_do_and　not　only
for　us　but　for　_everybody_a　real　piece　of　progressand　I'm　going　to
leave　my　peopleand　even　you！for　a　little　whileto　make　us　all
happier　later　on。〃

He　smiled　lovingly　at　her　but　shook　his　head　slowly。　　〃You　dear；　brave；
foolish　child！〃　he　said。　　〃I　don't　for　one　moment　doubt　your　noble
purposes。　　But　you　don't　get　the　man's　point　of　viewnaturally。　　What's
more　you　don't　seem　to　get　the　woman's。〃

〃Can　you　see　no　other　point　of　view　than　those？〃　she　asked。

〃There　are　no　others；〃　he　answered。　　〃Come！　come！　my　darling；　don't　add
this　new　difficulty　to　what　we've　got　to　carry！　　I　know　you　have　a　hard
time　of　it　at　home。　　Some　day；　please　God；　you　shall　have　an　easier　one！
　And　I'm　having　a　hard　time　tooI　don't　deny　it。　　But　you　are　the
greatest　joy　and　comfort　I　have；　dearyou　know　that。　　If　you　go
awayit　will　be　harder　and　slower　and　longerthat's　all。　　I　shall　have
you　to　worry　about　too。　　Let　somebody　else　do　the　gold…mine；　dearyou
stay　here　and　comfort　your　Mother　as　long　as　you　canand　me。　　How　can　I
get　along　without　you？〃

He　tried　to　put　his　arm　around　her　again；　but　she　drew　back。　　〃Dear；〃
she　said。　　〃If　I　deliberately　do　what　I　think　is　rightagainst　your
wisheswhat　will　you　do？〃

〃Do？〃　The　laughed　bitterly。　　〃What　can　I　do？　　I'm　tied　by　the　leg
herel　can't　go　after　you。　　I've　nothing　to　pull　you　out　of　a　scrape
with　if　you　get　in　one。　　I　couldn't　do　anything　butstand　it。〃

〃And　if　I　go　ahead；　and　do　what　you　don't　likeand　make
yousufferwould　youwould　you　rather　be　free？〃　　Her　voice　was　very
low　and　shaken；　but　he　heard　her　well　enough。

〃Free　of　you？　　Free　of　_you_？〃　　He　caught　her　and　held　her　and　kissed
her　over　and　over。

〃You　are　mine！〃　he　said。　　〃You　have　given　yourself　to　me！　　You　cannot
leave　me。　　Neither　of　us　is　freeever　again。〃　　But　she　struggled　away
from　him。

〃Both　of　us　are　freeto　do　what　we　think　right；　_always_　Ross！　　I
wouldn't　try　to　stop　you　if　you　thought　it　was　your　duty　to　go　to　the
North　Pole！〃　　She　held　him　a　little　way　off。　　〃Let　me　tell　you；　dear。　
Sit　downlet　me　tell　you　all　about　it。〃　　But　he　wouldn't　sit　down。

〃I　don't　think　I　want　to　know　the　details；〃　he　said。　　〃It　doesn't　much
matter　what　you're　going　to　doif　you　really　go　away。　　I　can't　stop
youI　see　that。　　If　you　think　this　thing　is　your　'duty'　you'll　do　it　if
it　kills　us　alland　you　too！　　If　you　have　to　goI　shall　do
nothingcan　do　nothingbut　wait　till　you　come　back　to　me！　　Whatever
happens；　darlingno　matter　how　you　faildon't　ever　be　afraid　to　come
back　to　me。〃

He　folded　his　arms　nowdid　not　attempt　to　hold　hergave　her　the
freedom　she　asked　and　promised　her　the　love　she　had　almost　feared　to
loseand　her　whole　carefully　constructed　plan　seemed　like　a　child's
sand　castle　for　a　moment；　her　heroic　decision　the　wildest　folly。

He　was　not　even　looking　at　her；　she　saw　his　strong；　clean…cut　profile
dark　against　the　moonlit　house；　a　settled　patience　in　its　lines。　　Duty！　
Here　was　duty；　surely；　with　tenderest　happiness。　　She　was　leaning　toward
himher　hand　was　seeking　his；　when　she　heard　through　the　fragrant
silence　a　sound　from　her　mother's　roomthe　faint　creak　of　her　light
rocking　chair。　　She　could　not　sleepshe　was　sitting　up　with　her
trouble；　bearing　it　quietly　as　she　had　so　many　others。

The　quiet　everyday　tragedy　of　that　distasteful　lifethe　slow　withering
away　of　youth　and　hope　and　ambition　into　a　gray　waste　of　ineffectual
submissive　labornot　only　of　her　life；　but　of　thousands　upon　thousands
like　herit　all　rose　up　like　a　flood　in　the　girl's　hot　young　heart。

Ross　had　turned　to　herwas　holding　out　his　arms　to　her。　　〃You　won't　go；
my　darling！〃　he　said。

〃I　am　going　Wednesday　on　the　7。10；〃　said　Diantha。



WHAT　DIANTHA　DID


CHAPTER　IV。

A　CRYING　NEED


〃Lovest　thou　me？〃　said　the　Fair　Ladye；
　And　the　Lover　he　said；　〃Yea！〃
〃Then　climb　this　treefor　my　sake；〃　said　she；
　〃And　climb　it　every　day！〃
So　from　dawn　till　dark　he　abrazed　the　bark
　And　wore　his　clothes　away；
Till；　〃What　has　this　tree　to　do　with　thee？〃
　The　Lover　at　last　did　say。


It　was　a　poor　dinner。　　Cold　in　the　first　place；　because　Isabel　would
wait　to　thoroughly　wash　her　long　artistic　hands；　and　put　on　another
dress。　　She　hated　the　smell　of　cooking　in　her　garments；　hated　it　worse
on　her　white　fingers；　and　now　to　look　at　t