a dream of john ball(约翰·勃尔的梦)-第14节
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east end of each aisle had just been made so that the church grew lighter
toward the east； and I could see all the work on the great screen between
the nave and chancel which glittered bright in new paint and gilding： a
candle glimmered in the loft above it； before the huge rood that filled up
the whole space between the loft and the chancel arch。 There was an
altar at the east end of each aisle； the one on the south side standing
against the outside wall； the one on the north against a traceried gaily…
painted screen； for that aisle ran on along the chancel。 There were a few
oak benches near this second altar； seemingly just made； and well carved
and moulded； otherwise the floor of the nave； which was paved with a
quaint pavement of glazed tiles like the crocks I had seen outside as to
ware； was quite clear； and the shafts of the arches rose out of it white and
beautiful under the moon as though out of a sea； dark but with gleams
struck over it。
The priest let me linger and look round； when he had crossed himself
and given me the holy water； and then I saw that the walls were figured all
over with stories； a huge St。 Christopher with his black beard looking like
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Will Green； being close to the porch by which we entered； and above the
chancel arch the Doom of the last Day； in which the painter had not spared
either kings or bishops； and in which a lawyer with his blue coif was one
of the chief figures in the group which the Devil was hauling off to hell。
〃Yea；〃 said John Ball； 〃'tis a goodly church and fair as you may see
'twixt Canterbury and London as for its kind； and yet do I misdoubt me
where those who are dead are housed； and where those shall house them
after they are dead； who built this house for God to dwell in。 God grant
they be cleansed at last； forsooth one of them who is now alive is a foul
swine and a cruel wolf。 Art thou all so sure； scholar； that all such have
souls？ and if it be so； was it well done of God to make them？ I speak to
thee thus； for I think thou art no delator； and if thou be； why should I heed
it； since I think not to come back from this journey。〃
I looked at him and； as it were； had some ado to answer him； but I said
at last； 〃Friend； I never saw a soul； save in the body； I cannot tell。〃
He crossed himself and said； 〃Yet do I intend that ere many days are
gone by my soul shall be in bliss among the fellowship of the saints； and
merry shall it be； even before my body rises from the dead； for wisely I
have wrought in the world； and I wot well of friends that are long ago
gone from the world； as St。 Martin； and St。 Francis； and St。 Thomas of
Canterbury； who shall speak well of me to the heavenly Fellowship； and I
shall in no wise lose my reward。〃
I looked shyly at him as he spoke； his face looked sweet and calm and
happy； and I would have said no word to grieve him； and yet belike my
eyes looked wonder on him： he seemed to note it and his face grew
puzzled。 〃How deemest thou of these things？〃 said he： 〃why do men die
else； if it be otherwise than this？〃
I smiled： 〃Why then do they live？〃 said I。
Even in the white moonlight I saw his face flush； and he cried out in a
great voice； 〃To do great deeds or to repent them that they ever were
born。〃 〃Yea；〃 said I； 〃they live to live because the world liveth。〃 He
stretched out his hand to me and grasped mine； but said no more； and went
on till we came to the door in the rood…screen； then he turned to me with
his hand on the ring…latch； and said； 〃Hast thou seen many dead men？〃
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〃Nay； but few；〃 said I。
〃And I a many；〃 said he； 〃but come now and look on these； our friends
first and then our foes； so that ye may not look to see them while we sit
and talk of the days that are to be on the earth before the Day of Doom
cometh。〃
So he opened the door； and we went into the chancel； a light burned on
the high altar before the host； and looked red and strange in the moonlight
that came through the wide traceried windows unstained by the pictures
and beflowerings of the glazing； there were new stalls for the priests and
vicars where we entered； carved more abundantly and beautifully than any
of the woodwork I had yet seen； and everywhere was rich and fair colour
and delicate and dainty form。 Our dead lay just before the high altar on
low biers； their faces all covered with linen cloths； for some of them had
been sore smitten and hacked in the fray。 We went up to them and John
Ball took the cloth from the face of one； he had been shot to the heart with
a shaft and his face was calm and smooth。 He had been a young man fair
and comely； with hair flaxen almost to whiteness； he lay there in his
clothes as he had fallen； the hands crossed over his breast and holding a
rush cross。 His bow lay on one side of him； his quiver of shafts and his
sword on the other。
John Ball spake to me while he held the corner of the sheet： 〃What
sayest thou； scholar？ feelest thou sorrow of heart when thou lookest on
this； either for the man himself； or for thyself and the time when thou shalt
be as he is？〃
I said； 〃Nay； I feel no sorrow for this； for the man is not here： this is an
empty house； and the master has gone from it。 Forsooth； this to me is but
as a waxen image of a man； nay； not even that； for if it were an image； it
would be an image of the man as he was when he was alive。 But here is
no life nor semblance of life； and I am not moved by it； nay； I am more
moved by the man's clothes and war…gearthere is more life in them than
in him。〃
〃Thou sayest sooth；〃 said he； 〃but sorrowest thou not for thine own
death when thou lookest on him？〃
I said； 〃And how can I sorrow for that which I cannot so much as think
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of？ Bethink thee that while I am alive I cannot think that I shall die； or
believe in death at all； although I know well that I shall dieI can but think
of myself as living in some new way。〃
Again he looked on me as if puzzled； then his face cleared as he said；
〃Yea； forsooth； and that is what the Church meaneth by death； and even
that I look for； and that hereafter I shall see all the deeds that I have done
in the body； and what they really were； and what shall come of them； and
ever shall I be a member of the Church； and that is the Fellowship； then；
even as now。〃
I sighed as he spoke； then I said； 〃Yea； somewhat in this fashion have
most of men thought； since no man that is can conceive of not being； and I
mind me that in those stories of the old Danes； their common word for a
man dying is to say； ‘He changed his life。'〃
〃And so deemest thou？〃
I shook my head and said nothing。
〃What hast thou to say hereon？〃 said he； 〃for there seemeth something
betwixt us twain as it were a wall that parteth us。〃
〃This；〃 said I； 〃that though I die and end； yet mankind yet liveth；
therefore I end not； since I am a man； and even so thou deemest； good
friend； or at the least even so thou doest； since now thou art ready to die in
grief and torment rather than be unfaithful to the Fellowship； yea rather
than fail to work thine utmost for it； whereas； as thou thyself saidst at the
cross； with a few words spoken and a little huddling…up of the truth； with a
few pennies paid； and a few masses sung； thou mightest have had a good
place on this earth and in that heaven。 And as thou doest； so now doth
many a poor man unnamed and unknown； and shall do while the world
lasteth： and they that do less than this； fail because of fear； and are
ashamed of their cowardice； and make many tales to themselves to deceive
themselves； lest they should grow too much ashamed to live。 And trust
me if this were not so； the world would not live； but would die； smothered
by its own stink。 Is the wall betwixt us gone； friend？〃
