youth-第31节
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or at the persons to whom she was speaking or at the world in
generala thing which; possibly; she had no real intention of
doing。 Often I asked myself in astonishment what she could mean
when she said something like; 〃Yes; I know how terribly good…
looking I am;〃 or; 〃Of course every one is in love with me;〃 and
so forth。 Her mother was a person always busy; since she had a
passion for housekeeping; gardening; flowers; canaries; and
pretty trinkets。 Her rooms and garden; it is true; were small and
poorly fitted…up; yet everything in them was so neat and
methodical; and bore such a general air of that gentle gaiety
which one hears expressed in a waltz or polka; that the word
〃toy〃 by which guests often expressed their praise of it all
exactly suited her surroundings。 She herself was a 〃toy〃being
petite; slender; fresh…coloured; small; and pretty…handed; and
invariably gay and well…dressed。 The only fault in her was that a
slight over…prominence of the dark…blue veins on her little hands
rather marred the general effect of her appearance。 On the other
hand; her daughter scarcely ever did anything at all。 Not only
had she no love for trifling with flowers and trinkets; but she
neglected her personal exterior; and only troubled to dress
herself well when guests happened to call。 Yet; on returning to
the room in society costume; she always looked extremely
handsomesave for that cold; uniform expression of eyes and
smile which is common to all beauties。 In fact; her strictly
regular; beautiful face and symmetrical figure always seemed to
be saying to you; 〃Yes; you may look at me。〃
At the same time; for all the mother's liveliness of disposition
and the daughter's air of indifference and abstraction; something
told one that the former was incapable of feeling affection for
anything that was not pretty and gay; but that Avdotia; on the
contrary; was one of those natures which; once they love; are
willing to sacrifice their whole life for the man they adore。
XXXIV
MY FATHER'S SECOND MARRIAGE
MY father was forty…eight when he took as his second wife Avdotia
Vassilievna Epifanov。
I suspect that when; that spring; he had departed for the country
with the girls; he had been in that communicatively happy;
sociable mood in which gamblers usually find themselves who have
retired from play after winning large stakes。 He had felt that he
still had a fortune left to him which; so long as he did not
squander it on gaming; might be used for our advancement in life。
Moreover; it was springtime; he was unexpectedly well supplied
with ready money; he was alone; and he had nothing to do。 As he
conversed with Jakoff on various matters; and remembered both the
interminable suit with the Epifanovs and Avdotia's beauty (it was
a long while since he had seen her); I can imagine him saying:
〃How do you think we ought to act in this suit; Jakoff? My idea
is simply to let the cursed land go。 Eh? What do you think about
it?〃 I can imagine; too; how; thus interrogated; Jakoff twirled
his fingers behind his back in a deprecatory sort of way; and
proceeded to argue that it all the same; Peter Alexandritch; we
are in the right。〃 Nevertheless; I further conjecture; Papa
ordered the dogcart to be got ready; put on his fashionable
olive…coloured driving…coat; brushed up the remnants of his hair;
sprinkled his clothes with scent; and; greatly pleased to think
that he was acting a la seignior (as well as; even more;
revelling in the prospect of soon seeing a pretty woman); drove
off to visit his neighbours。
I can imagine; too; that when the flustered housemaid ran to
inform Peter Vassilievitch that Monsieur Irtenieff himself had
called; Peter answered angrily; 〃Well; what has he come for?〃
and; stepping softly about the house; first went into his study
to put on his old soiled jacket; and then sent down word to the
cook that on no account whateverno; not even if she were
ordered to do so by the mistress herselfwas she to add anything
to luncheon。
Since; later; I often saw Papa with Peter; I can form a very good
idea of this first interview between them。 I can imagine that;
despite Papa's proposal to end the suit in a peaceful manner;
Peter was morose and resentful at the thought of having
sacrificed his career to his mother; and at Papa having done
nothing of the kinda by no means surprising circumstance; Peter
probably said to himself。 Next; I can see Papa taking no notice
of this ill…humour; but cracking quips and jests; while Peter
gradually found himself forced to treat him as a humorist with
whom he felt offended one moment and inclined to be reconciled
the next。 Indeed; with his instinct for making fun of everything;
Papa often used to address Peter as 〃Colonel;〃 and though I can
remember Peter once replying; with an unusually violent stutter
and his face scarlet with indignation; that he had never been a
c…c…colonel; but only a l…l…lieutenant; Papa called him 〃Colonel〃
again before another five minutes were out。
Lubotshka told me that; up to the time of Woloda's and my arrival
from Moscow; there had been daily meetings with the Epifanovs;
and that things had been very lively; since Papa; who had a
genius for arranging; everything with a touch of originality and
wit; as well as in a simple and refined manner; had devised
shooting and fishing parties and fireworks for the Epifanovs'
benefit。 All these festivitiesso said Lubotshkawould have
gone off splendidly but for the intolerable Peter; who had spoilt
everything by his puffing and stuttering。 After our coming;
however; the Epifanovs only visited us twice; and we went once to
their house; while after St。 Peter's Day (on which; it being
Papa's nameday; the Epifanovs called upon us in common with a
crowd of other guests) our relations with that family came
entirely to an end; and; in future; only Papa went to see them。
During the brief period when I had opportunities of seeing Papa
and Dunetchka (as her mother called Avdotia) together; this is
what I remarked about them。 Papa remained unceasingly in the same
buoyant mood as had so greatly struck me on the day after our
arrival。 So gay and youthful and full of life and happy did he
seem that the beams of his felicity extended themselves to all
around him; and involuntarily communicated to them a similar
frame of mind。 He never stirred from Avdotia's side so long as
she was in the room; but either kept on plying her with sugary…
sweet compliments which made me feel ashamed for him or; with his
gaze fixed upon her with an air at once passionate and
complacent; sat hitching his shoulder and coughing as from time
to time he smiled and whispered something in her ear。 Yet
throughout he wore the same expression of raillery as was
peculiar to him even in the most serious matters。
As a rule; Avdotia herself seemed to catch the infection of the
happiness which sparkled at this period in Papa's large blue
eyes; yet there were moments also when she would be seized with
such a fit of shyness that I; who knew the feeling well; was full
of sympathy and compassion as I regarded her embarrassment。 At
moments of this kind she seemed to be afraid of every glance and
every movementto be supposing that every one was looking at her;
every one thinking of no one but her; and that unfavourably。 She
would glance timidly from one person to another; the colour
coming and going in her cheeks; and then begin to talk loudly and
defiantly; but; for the most part; nonsense; until presently;
realising this; and supposing that Papa and every one else had
heard her; she would blush more painfully than ever。 Yet Papa
never noticed her nonsense; for he was too much taken up with
coughing and with gazing at her with his look of happy;
triumphant devotion。 I noticed; too; that; although these fits of
shyness attacked Avdotia; without any visible cause; they not
infrequently ensued upon Papa's mention of one or another young
and beautiful woman。 Frequent transitions from depression to that
strange; awkward gaiety of hers to which I have referred before。
the repetition of favourite words and turns of speech of Papa's;
the continuation of discussions with others which Papa had
already begunall these things; if my father had not been the
principal actor in the matter and I had been a little older;
would have explained to me the relations subsisting between him
and Avdotia。 At the time; however; I never surmised themno; not
even when Papa received from her brother Peter a letter which so
upset him that not again until the end of August did he go to
call upon the Epifanovs'。 Then; however; he began his visits once
more; and ended by informing us; on the day before Woloda and I
were to return to Moscow; that he was about to take Avdotia
Vassilievna Epifanov to be his wife。
XXXV
HOW WE RECEIVED THE NEWS
Yet; even on the eve of the official