youth-第25节

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to　slumber。　Only　old　hunchbacked　Fokabare…footed；　clad　in　some

sort　of　a　woman's　wadded　nightdress；　and　carrying　a　candlestick

opened　the　door　to　us。　As　soon　as　he　saw　who　we　were；　he　trembled

all　over　with　joy；　kissed　us　on　the　shoulders；　hurriedly　put　on

his　felt　slippers；　and　started　to　dress　himself　properly。　I

passed　in　a　semi…waking　condition　through　the　porch　and　up　the

steps；　but　in　the　hall　the　lock　of　the　door；　the　bars　and　bolts；

the　crooked　boards　of　the　flooring；　the　chest；　the　ancient

candelabrum　（splashed　all　over　with　grease　as　of　old）；　the

shadows　thrown　by　the　crooked；　chill；　recently…lighted　stump　of

candle；　the　perennially　dusty；　unopened　window　behind　which　I

remembered　sorrel　to　have　grownall　was　so　familiar；　so　full　of

memories；　so　intimate　of　aspect；　so；　as　it　were；　knit　together　by

a　single　idea；　that　I　suddenly　became　conscious　of　a　tenderness

for　this　quiet　old　house。　Involuntarily　I　asked　myself；　〃How　have

we；　the　house　and　I；　managed　to　remain　apart　so　long？〃　and；

hurrying　from　spot　to　spot；　ran　to　see　if　all　the　other　rooms

were　still　the　same。　Yes；　everything　was　unchanged；　except　that

everything　had　become　smaller　and　lower；　and　I　myself　taller；

heavier；　and　more　filled　out。　Yet；　even　as　I　was；　the　old　house

received　me　back　into　its　arms；　and　aroused　in　me　with　every

board；　every　window；　every　step　of　the　stairs；　and　every　sound

the　shadows　of　forms；　feelings；　and　events　of　the　happy　but

irrevocable　past。　When　we　entered　our　old　night　nursery；　all　my

childish　fears　lurked　once　more　in　the　darkness　of　the　corners

and　doorway。　When　we　passed　into　the　drawing…room；　I　could　feel

the　old　calm　motherly　love　diffusing　itself　from　every　object　in

the　apartment。　In　the　breakfast…room；　the　noisy；　careless

merriment　of　childhood　seemed　merely　to　be　waiting　to　wake　to

life　again。　In　the　divannaia　（whither　Foka　first　conducted　us；

and　where　he　had　prepared　our　beds）　everythingmirror；　screen；

old　wooden　ikon；　the　lumps　on　the　walls　covered　with　white　paper

seemed　to　speak　of　suffering　and　of　death　and　of　what　would　never

come　back　to　us　again。



We　got　into　bed；　and　Foka；　bidding　us　good…night；　retired。



〃It　was　in　this　room　that　Mamma　died；　was　it　not？〃　said　Woloda。



I　made　no　reply；　but　pretended　to　be　asleep。　If　I　had　said

anything　I　should　have　burst　into　tears。　On　awaking　next　morning；

I　beheld　Papa　sitting　on　Woloda's　bed　in　his　dressing　gown　and

slippers　and　smoking　a　cigar。　Leaping　up　with　a　merry　hoist　of

the　shoulders；　he　came　over　to　me；　slapped　me　on　the　back　with

his　great　hand；　and　presented　me　his　cheek　to　press　my　lips　to。



〃Well　done；　DIPLOMAT！〃　he　said　in　his　most　kindly　jesting　tone　as

he　looked　at　me　with　his　small　bright　eyes。　〃Woloda　tells　me　you

have　passed　the　examinations　well　for　a　youngster；　and　that　is　a

splendid　thing。　Unless　you　start　and　play　the　fool；　I　shall　have

another　fine　little　fellow　in　you。　Thanks；　my　dear　boy。　Well；　we

will　have　a　grand　time　of　it　here　now；　and　in　the　winter；

perhaps；　we　shall　move　to　St。　Petersburg。　I　only　wish　the　hunting

was　not　over　yet；　or　I　could　have　given　you　some　amusement　in

THAT　way。　Can　you　shoot；　Woldemar？　However；　whether　there　is　any

game　or　not；　I　will　take　you　out　some　day。　Next　winter；　if　God

pleases；　we　will　move　to　St。　Petersburg；　and　you　shall　meet

people；　and　make　friends；　for　you　are　now　my　two　young　grown…ups。

I　have　been　telling　Woldemar　that　you　are　just　starting　on　your

careers；　whereas　my　day　is　ended。　You　are　old　enough　now　to　walk

by　yourselves；　but；　whenever　you　wish　to　confide　in　me；　pray　do

so；　for　I　am　no　longer　your　nurse；　but　your　friend。　At　least；　I

will　be　your　friend　and　comrade　and　adviser　as　much　as　I　can　and

more　than　that　I　cannot　do。　How　does　that　fall　in　with　your

philosophy；　eh；　Koko？　Well　or　ill；　eh？〃



Of　course　I　said　that　it　fell　in　with　it　entirely；　and；　indeed；　I

really　thought　so。　That　morning　Papa　had　a　particularly　winning；

bright；　and　happy　expression　on　his　face；　and　these　new　relations

between　us；　as　of　equals　and　comrades；　made　me　love　him　all　the

more。



〃Now；　tell　me；〃　he　went　on；　〃did　you　call　upon　all　our　kinsfolk

and　the　Iwins？　Did　you　see　the　old　man；　and　what　did　he　say　to

you？　And　did　you　go　to　Prince　Ivan's？〃



We　continued　talking　so　long　that；　before　we　were　fully　dressed；

the　sun　had　left　the　window　of　the　divannaia；　and　Jakoff　（the

same　old　man　who　of　yore　had　twirled　his　fingers　behind　his　back

and　always　repeated　his　words）　had　entered　the　room　and　reported

to　Papa　that　the　carriage　was　ready。



〃Where　are　you　going　to？〃　I　asked　Papa。



〃Oh；　I　had　forgotten　all　about　it！〃　he　replied；　with　a　cough　and

the　usual　hoisting　of　his　shoulder。　〃I　promised　to　go　and　call

upon　Epifanova　to…day。　You　remember　Epifanova'la　belle

Flamande'don't　you；　who　used　to　come　and　see　your　Mamma？　They

are　nice　people。〃　And　with　a　self…conscious　shrug　of　his

shoulders　（so　it　appeared　to　me）　Papa　left　the　room。



During　our　conversation；　Lubotshka　had　more　than　once　come　to　the

door　and　asked　〃Can　I　come　in？〃　but　Papa　had　always　shouted　to

her　that　she　could　not　do　so；　since　we　were　not　dressed　yet。



〃What　rubbish！〃　she　replied。　〃Why；　I　have　seen　you　in　your

dressing…gown。〃



〃Never　mind；　you　cannot　see　your　brothers　without　their

inexpressibles；〃　rejoined　Papa。　〃If　they　each　of　them　just　go　to

the　door；　let　that　be　enough　for　you。　Now　go。　Even　for　them　to

SPEAK　to　you　in　such　a　neglige　costume　is　unbecoming。〃



〃How　unbearable　you　are！〃　was　Lubotshka's　parting　retort。　〃Well；

at　least　hurry　up　and　come　down　to　the　drawing…room；　for　Mimi

wants　to　see　them。〃



As　soon　as　Papa　had　left　the　room；　I　hastened　to　array　myself　in

my　student's　uniform；　and　to　repair　to　the　drawing…room。



Woloda；　on　the　other　hand；　was　in　no　hurry；　but　remained　sitting

on　his　bed　and　talking　to　Jakoff　about　the　best　places　to　find

plover　and　snipe。　As　I　have　said；　there　was　nothing　in　the　world

he　so　much　feared　as　to　be　suspected　of　any　affection　for　his

father；　brother；　and　sister；　so　that；　to　escape　any　expression　of

that　feeling；　he　often　fell　into　the　other　extreme；　and　affected

a　coldness　which　shocked　people　who　did　not　comprehend　its　cause。

In　the　hall；　I　collided　with　Papa；　who　was　hurrying　towards　the

carriage　with　short；　rapid　steps。　He　had　a　new　and　fashionable

Moscow　greatcoat　on；　and　smelt　of　scent。　On　seeing　me；　he　gave　a

cheerful　nod；　as　much　as　to　say；　〃Do　you　remark　my　splendour？〃

and　once　again　I　was　struck　with　the　happy　expression　of　face

which　I　had　noted　earlier　in　the　morning。



The　drawing…room　looked　the　same　lofty；　bright　room　as　of　Yore；

with　its　brown　English　piano；　and　its　large　open　windows　looking

on　to　the　green　trees　and　yellowish…red　paths　of　the　garden。


After　kissing　Mimi　and　Lubotshka；　I　was　approaching　Katenka　for

the　same　purpose　when　it　suddenly　struck　me　that　it　might　be

improper　for　me　to　salute　her　in　that　fashion。　Accordingly　I

halted；　silent　and　blushing。　Katenka；　for　her　part；　was　quite　at

her　ease　as　she　held　out　a　white　hand　to　me　and　congratulated　me

on　my　passing　into　the　University。　The　same　thing　took　place　when

Woloda　entered　the　drawing…room　and　met　Katenka。　Indeed；　it　was

something　of　a　problem　how；　after　being　brought　up　together　and

seeing　one　another　daily；　we　ought　now；　after　this　first

separation；　to　meet　again。　Katenka　had　grown　better…looking　than

any　of　us；　yet　Woloda　seemed　not　at　all　confused　as；　with　a

slight　bow　to　her；　he　crossed　over　to　Lubotshka；　made　a　jesting

remark　to　her；　and　then　departed　somewhere　on　some　solitary

expedition。



XXIX



RELATIONS　BETWEEN　THE　GIRLS　AND　OURSELVES



OF　the　girls　Woloda　took　the　strange　view　that；　although　he

wished　that　they　should　have　enough　to　eat；　should　sleep　well；　be

well　dressed；　and　avoid　making　such　mistakes　in　French　as　would

shame　him　before　strangers；　he　would　never　admit　that　they　could

think　or　feel　like　human　beings；　still　less　that　they　could

converse　with　him　sensibly　about　anything。　Whenever　they

addressed　to　him　a　serious　question　（a　thing；　by　the　way；　which

he　always　tried　to　avoid）；　such　as　asking　his　opinion　on　a　novel

or　inquiring　about　his　doings　at　the　University；　he　invariably

pulled　a　grimace；　and　either　turned　away　without　speaking　or

answered　with　some　nonsensical　French　phrase〃Comme　c'est　tres

jolie！〃　or　the　like。　Or　again；　feigning　to　look　serious　and

stolidly　wise；　he　would　say　something　absolutely　meaningless　and

bearing　no　relation　whatever　to　the　question　asked　him；　or　else

suddenly　exclaim；　with　a　look　of　pretended　unconsciousness；　the

word　bulku　or　poyechali　or　kapustu；　＇Respectively；　〃　roll　of

butter；〃　〃away；〃　and　〃　cabbage。〃＇　or　something　of　the　kind；　and

when；　afterwards；　I　happened　to　repeat　these　words　to　him　as

having　been　told　me　by　Lubotshka　or　Katenka；　he　would　always

remark：



〃Hm！　So　you　actually　care　about　talki