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was；　if　anything；　too　outspoken　and　truthful。　Yet；　during　this

first　stage　of　my　manhood；　I　often　found　myself　seized　with　a

strange　and　unreasonable　tendency　to　lie　in　the　most　desperate

fashion。　I　say　advisedly　〃in　the　most　desperate　fashion；〃　for　the

reason　that　I　lied　in　matters　in　which　it　was　the　easiest　thing

in　the　world　to　detect　me。　On　the　whole　I　think　that　a　vain…

glorious　desire　to　appear　different　from　what　I　was；　combined

with　an　impossible　hope　that　the　lie　would　never　be　found　out；

was　the　chief　cause　of　this　extraordinary　impulse。



After　tea；　since　the　rain　had　stopped　and　the　after…glow　of

sunset　was　calm　and　clear；　the　Princess　proposed　that　we　should

go　and　stroll　in　the　lower　garden；　and　admire　her　favourite　spots

there。　Following　my　rule　to　be　always　original；　and　conceiving

that　clever　people　like　myself　and　the　Princess　must　surely　be

above　the　banalities　of　politeness；　I　replied　that　I　could　not

bear　a　walk　with　no　object　in　view；　and　that；　if　I　DID　walk；　I

liked　to　walk　alone。　I　had　no　idea　that　this　speech　was　simply

rude；　all　I　thought　was　that；　even　as　nothing　could　be　more

futile　than　empty　compliments；　so　nothing　could　be　more　pleasing

and　original　than　a　little　frank　brusquerie。　However；　though　much

pleased　with　my　answer；　I　set　out　with　the　rest　of　the　company。



The　Princess's　favourite　spot　of　all　was　at　the　very　bottom　of

the　lower　garden；　where　a　little　bridge　spanned　a　narrow　piece　of

swamp。　The　view　there　was　very　restricted；　yet　very　intimate　and

pleasing。　We　are　so　accustomed　to　confound　art　with　nature　that；

often　enough；　phenomena　of　nature　which　are　never　to　be　met　with

in　pictures　seem　to　us　unreal；　and　give　us　the　impression　that

nature　is　unnatural；　or　vice　versa；　whereas　phenomena　of　nature

which　occur　with　too　much　frequency　in　pictures　seem　to　us

hackneyed；　and　views　which　are　to　be　met　with　in　real　life；　but

which　appear　to　us　too　penetrated　with　a　single　idea　or　a　single

sentiment；　seem　to　us　arabesques。　The　view　from　the　Princess's

favourite　spot　was　as　follows。　On　the　further　side　of　a　small

lake；　over…grown　with　weeds　round　its　edges；　rose　a　steep　ascent

covered　with　bushes　and　with　huge　old　trees　of　many　shades　of

green；　while；　overhanging　the　lake　at　the　foot　of　the　ascent；

stood　an　ancient　birch　tree　which；　though　partly　supported　by

stout　roots　implanted　in　the　marshy　bank　of　the　lake；　rested　its

crown　upon　a　tall；　straight　poplar；　and　dangled　its　curved

branches　over　the　smooth　surface　of　the　pondboth　branches　and

the　surrounding　greenery　being　reflected　therein　as　in　a　mirror。



〃How　lovely！〃　said　the　Princess　with　a　nod　of　her　head；　and

addressing　no　one　in　particular。



〃Yes；　marvellous！〃　I　replied　in　my　desire　to　show　that　had　an

opinion　of　my　own　on　every　subject。　〃Yet　somehow　it　all　looks　to

me　so　terribly　like　a　scheme　of　decoration。〃



The　Princess　went　on　gazing　at　the　scene　as　though　she　had　not

heard　me；　and　turning　to　her　sister　and　Lubov　Sergievna　at

intervals；　in　order　to　point　out　to　them　its　detailsespecially

a　curved；　pendent　bough；　with　its　reflection　in　the　water；　which

particularly　pleased　her。　Sophia　Ivanovna　observed　to　me　that　it

was　all　very　beautiful；　and　that　she　and　her　sister　would

sometimes　spend　hours　together　at　this　spot；　yet　it　was　clear

that　her　remarks　were　meant　merely　to　please　the　Princess。　I　have

noticed　that　people　who　are　gifted　with　the　faculty　of　loving　are

seldom　receptive　to　the　beauties　of　nature。　Lubov　Sergievna　also

seemed　enraptured；　and　asked　（among　other　things）；　〃How　does　that

birch　tree　manage　to　support　itself？　Has　it　stood　there　long？〃

Yet　the　next　moment　she　became　absorbed　in　contemplation　of　her

little　dog　Susetka；　which；　with　its　stumpy　paws　pattering　to　and

fro　upon　the　bridge　in　a　mincing　fashion；　seemed　to　say　by　the

expression　of　its　face　that　this　was　the　first　time　it　had　ever

found　itself　out　of　doors。　As　for　Dimitri；　he　fell　to　discoursing

very　logically　to　his　mother　on　the　subject　of　how　no　view　can　be

beautiful　of　which　the　horizon　is　limited。　Varenika　alone　said

nothing。　Glancing　at　her；　I　saw　that　she　was　leaning　over　the

parapet　of　the　bridge；　her　profile　turned　towards　me；　and　gazing

straight　in　front　of　her。　Something　seemed　to　be　interesting　her

deeply；　or　even　affecting　her；　since　it　was　clear　that　she　was

oblivious　to　her　surroundings；　and　thinking　neither　of　herself

nor　of　the　fact　that　any　one　might　be　regarding　her。　In　the

expression　of　her　large　eyes　there　was　nothing　but　wrapt

attention　and　quiet；　concentrated　thought；　while　her　whole

attitude　seemed　so　unconstrained　and；　for　all　her　shortness；　so

dignified　that　once　more　some　recollection　or　another　touched　me

and　once　more　I　asked　myself；　〃Is　IT；　then；　beginning？〃　Yet　again

I　assured　myself　that　I　was　already　in　love　with　Sonetchka；　and

that　Varenika　was　only　an　ordinary　girl；　the　sister　of　my　friend。

Though　she　pleased　me　at　that　moment；　I　somehow　felt　a　vague

desire　to　show　her；　by　word　or　deed；　some　small　unfriendliness。



〃I　tell　you　what；　Dimitri；〃　I　said　to　my　friend　as　I　moved　nearer

to　Varenika；　so　that　she　might　overhear　what　I　was　going　to　say；

〃it　seems　to　me　that；　even　if　there　had　been　no　mosquitos　here；

there　would　have　been　nothing　to　commend　this　spot；　whereas　〃

and　here　I　slapped　my　cheek；　and　in　very　truth　annihilated　one　of

those　insects〃it　is　simply　awful。〃



〃Then　you　do　not　care　for　nature？〃　said　Varenika　without　turning

her　head。



〃I　think　it　a　foolish；　futile　pursuit；〃　I　replied；　well　satisfied

that　I　had　said　something　to　annoy　her；　as　well　as　something

original。　Varenika　only　raised　her　eyebrows　a　little；　with　an

expression　of　pity；　and　went　on　gazing　in　front　of　her　as　calmly

as　before。



I　felt　vexed　with　her。　Yet；　for　all　that；　the　rusty；　paint…

blistered　parapet　on　which　she　was　leaning；　the　way　in　which　the

dark　waters　of　the　pond　reflected　the　drooping　branch　of　the

overhanging　birch　tree　（it　almost　seemed　to　me　as　though　branch

and　its　reflection　met）；　the　rising　odour　of　the　swamp；　the

feeling　of　crushed　mosquito　on　my　cheek；　and　her　absorbed　look

and　statuesque　posemany　times　afterwards　did　these　things

recur　with　unexpected　vividness　to　my　recollection。



XXVII



DIMITRI



WHEN　we　returned　to　the　house　from　our　stroll；　Varenika　declined

to　sing　as　she　usually　did　in　the　evenings；　and　I　was　conceited

enough　to　attribute　this　to　my　doing；　in　the　belief　that　its

reason　lay　in　what　I　had　said　on　the　bridge。　The　Nechludoffs

never　had　supper；　and　went　to　bed　early；　while　to…night；　since

Dimitri　had　the　toothache　（as　Sophia　Ivanovna　had　foretold）；　he

departed　with　me　to　his　room　even　earlier　than　usual。　Feeling

that　I　had　done　all　that　was　required　of　me　by　my　blue　collar　and

gilt　buttons；　and　that　every　one　was　very　pleased　with　me；　I　was

in　a　gratified；　complacent　mood；　while　Dimitri；　on　the　other

hand；　was　rendered　by　his　quarrel　with　his　sister　and　the

toothache　both　taciturn　and　gloomy。　He　sat　down　at　the　table；　got

out　a　couple　of　notebooksa　diary　and　the　copy…book　in　which　it

was　his　custom　every　evening　to　inscribe　the　tasks　performed　by

or　awaiting　himand；　continually　frowning　and　touching　his　cheek

with　his　hand；　continued　writing　for　a　while。



〃Oh；　DO　leave　me　alone！〃　he　cried　to　the　maid　whom　Sophia

Ivanovna　sent　to　ask　him　whether　his　teeth　were　still　hurting

him；　and　whether　he　would　not　like　to　have　a　poultice　made。　Then；

saying　that　my　bed　would　soon　be　ready　for　me　and　that　he　would

be　back　presently；　he　departed　to　Lubov　Sergievna's　room。



〃What　a　pity　that　Varenika　is　not　good…looking　and；　in　general；

Sonetchka！〃　I　reflected　when　I　found　myself　alone。　〃How　nice　it

would　be　if；　after　I　have　left　the　University；　I　could　go　to　her

and　offer　her　my　hand！　I　would　say　to　her；　'Princess；　though　no

longer　young；　and　therefore　unable　to　love　passionately；　I　will

cherish　you　as　a　dear　sister。　And　you；'　I　would　continue　to　her

mother；　'I　greatly　respect；　and　you；　Sophia　Ivanovna；　I　value

highly。　Therefore　say　to　me；　Varenika　（since　I　ask　you　to　be　my

wife）；　just　the　simple　and　direct　word　YES。'　And　she　would　give

me　her　hand；　and　I　should　press　it；　and　say；　'Mine　is　a　love

which　depends　not　upon　words；　but　upon　deeds。'　And　suppose；〃　next

came　into　my　head；　〃that　Dimitri　should　suddenly　fall　in　love

with　Lubotshka　（as　Lubotshka　has　already　done　with　him）；　and

should　desire　to　marry　her？　Then　either　one　or　the　other　of　us

would　have　to　resign　all　thought　of　marriage。　Well；　it　would　be

splendid；　for　in　that　case　I　should　act　thus。　As　soon　as　I　had

noticed　how　things　were；　I　should　make　no　remark；　but　go　to

Dimitri　and　say；　'It　is　no　use；　my　friend；　for　you　and　I　to

conceal　our　feelings　from　one　another。　You　know　that　my　love　for

your　sister　will　terminate　only　with　my　life。　Yet　I　know　all；　and

though　you　have　deprived　me　of　all　hope；　and　have　rendered　me