youth-第20节

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pair　of　dark…grey　eyes；which；　in　their　expression　of　gaiety

mingled　with　quiet　attention；　greatly　resembled　those　of　her

aunta　long　coil　of　flaxen　hair；　and　extremely　delicate；

beautiful　hands。



〃I　expect；　Monsieur　Nicolas；　you　find　it　wearisome　to　hear　a

story　begun　from　the　middle？〃　said　Sophia　Ivanovna　with　her　good…

natured　sigh　as　she　turned　over　some　pieces　of　clothing　which　she

was　sewing。　The　reading　aloud　had　ceased　for　the　moment　because

Dimitri　had　left　the　room　on　some　errand　or　another。



〃Or　perhaps　you　have　read　Rob　Roy　before？〃　she　added。



At　that　period　I　thought　it　incumbent　upon　me；　in　virtue　of　my

student's　uniform；　to　reply　in　a　very　〃clever　and　original〃

manner　to　every　question　put　to　me　by　people　whom　I　did　not　know

very　well；　and　regarded　such　short；　clear　answers　as　〃Yes；〃　〃No；〃

〃I　like　it；〃　or　〃I　do　not　care　for　it；〃　as　things　to　be　ashamed

of。　Accordingly；　looking　down　at　my　new　and　fashionably…cut

trousers　and　the　glittering　buttons　of　my　tunic；　I　replied　that　I

had　never　read　Rob　Roy；　but　that　it　interested　me　greatly　to　hear

it；　since　I　preferred　to　read　books　from　the　middle　rather　than

from　the　beginning。



〃It　is　twice　as　interesting；〃　I　added　with　a　self…satisfied

smirk；　〃for　then　one　can　guess　what　has　gone　before　as　well　as

what　is　to　come　after。〃



The　Princess　smiled　what　I　thought　was　a　forced　smile；　but　one

which　I　discovered　later　to　be　her　only　one。



〃Well；　perhaps　that　is　true；〃　she　said。　〃But　tell　me；　Nicolas

（you　will　not　be　offended　if　I　drop　the　Monsieur）tell　me；　are

you　going　to　be　in　town　long？　When　do　you　go　away？〃



〃I　do　not　know　quite。　Perhaps　to…morrow；　or　perhaps　not　for　some

while　yet；〃　I　replied　for　some　reason　or　another；　though　I　knew

perfectly　well　that　in　reality　we　were　to　go　to…morrow。



〃I　wish　you　could　stop　longer；　both　for　your　own　sake　and　for

Dimitri's；〃　she　said　in　a　meditative　manner。　〃At　your　age

friendship　is　a　weak　thing。〃



I　felt　that　every　one　was　looking　at　me；　and　waiting　to　see　what

I　should　saythough　certainly　Varenika　made　a　pretence　of

looking　at　her　aunt's　work。　I　felt；　in　fact；　as　though　I　were

being　put　through　an　examination；　and　that　it　behoved　me　to

figure　in　it　as　well　as　possible。



〃Yes；　to　ME　Dimitri's　friendship　is　most　useful；〃　I　replied；　〃but

to　HIM　mine　cannot　be　of　any　use　at　all；　since　he　is　a　thousand

times　better　than　I。〃　（Dimitri　could　not　hear　what　I　said；　or　I

should　have　feared　his　detecting　the　insincerity　of　my　words。）



Again　the　Princess　smiled　her　unnatural；　yet　characteristically

natural；　smile。



〃Just　listen　to　him！〃　she　said。　〃But　it　is　YOU　who　are　the　little

monster　of　perfection。〃



〃'Monster　of　perfection；'〃　I　thought　to　myself。　〃That　is

splendid。　I　must　make　a　note　of　it。〃



〃Yet；　to　dismiss　yourself；　he　has　been　extraordinarily　clever　in

that　quarter；〃　she　went　on　in　a　lower　tone　（which　pleased　me

somehow）　as　she　indicated　Lubov　Sergievna　with　her　eyes；　〃since

he　has　discovered　in　our　poor　little　Auntie〃　（such　was　the　pet

name　which　they　gave　Lubov）　〃all　sorts　of　perfections　which　I；

who　have　known　her　and　her　little　dog　for　twenty　years；　had　never

yet　suspected。　〃Varenika；　go　and　tell　them　to　bring　me　a　glass　of

water；〃　she　added；　letting　her　eyes　wander　again。　Probably　she

had　bethought　her　that　it　was　too　soon；　or　not　entirely

necessary；　to　let　me　into　all　the　family　secrets。　〃Yet　nolet

HIM　go；　for　he　has　nothing　to　do；　while　you　are　reading。　Pray　go

to　the　door；　my　friend；〃　she　said　to　me；　〃and　walk　about　fifteen

steps　down　the　passage。　Then　halt　and　call　out　pretty　loudly；

〃Peter；　bring　Maria　Ivanovna　a　glass　of　iced　water〃and　she

smiled　her　curious　smile　once　more。



〃I　expect　she　wants　to　say　something　about　me　in　my　absence；〃　I

thought　to　myself　as　I　left　the　room。　〃I　expect　she　wants　to

remark　that　she　can　see　very　clearly　that　I　am　a　very；　very

clever　young　man。〃



Hardly　had　I　taken　a　dozen　steps　when　I　was　overtaken　by　Sophia

Ivanovna；　who；　though　fat　and　short　of　breath；　trod　with

surprising　lightness　and　agility。



〃Merci；　mon　cher；〃　she　said。　〃I　will　go　and　tell　them　myself。〃



XXIV



LOVE



SOPHIA　IVANOVNA；　as　I　afterwards　came　to　know　her；　was　one　of

those　rare；　young…old　women　who　are　born　for　family　life；　but　to

whom　that　happiness　has　been　denied　by　fate。　Consequently　all

that　store　of　their　love　which　should　have　been

poured　out　upon　a　husband　and　children　becomes　pent　up　in　their

hearts；　until　they　suddenly　decide　to　let　it　overflow　upon　a　few

chosen　individuals。　Yet　so　inexhaustible　is　that　store　of　old

maids'　love　that；　despite　the　number　of　individuals　so　selected；

there　still　remains　an　abundant　surplus　of　affection　which　they

lavish　upon　all　by　whom　they　are　surroundedupon　all；　good　or

bad；　whom　they　may　chance　to　meet　in　their　daily　life。



Of　love　there　are　three　kindslove　of　beauty；　the　love　which

denies　itself；　and　practical　love。



Of　the　desire　of　a　young　man　for　a　young　woman；　as　well　as　of　the

reverse　instance；　I　am　not　now　speaking；　for　of　such　tendresses　I

am　wary；　seeing　that　I　have　been　too　unhappy　in　my　life　to　have

been　able　ever　to　see　in　such　affection　a　single　spark　of　truth；

but　rather　a　lying　pretence　in　which　sensuality；　connubial

relations；　money；　and　the　wish　to　bind　hands　or　to　unloose　them

have　rendered　feeling　such　a　complex　affair　as　to　defy　analysis。

Rather　am　I　speaking　of　that　love　for　a　human　being　which；

according　to　the　spiritual　strength　of　its　possessor；

concentrates　itself　either　upon　a　single　individual；　upon　a　few；

or　upon　manyof　love　for　a　mother；　a　father；　a　brother；　little

children；　a　friend；　a　compatriotof　love；　in　short；　for　one's

neighbour。



Love　of　beauty　consists　in　a　love　of　the　sense　of　beauty　and　of

its　expression。　People　who　thus　love　conceive　the　object　of　their

affection　to　be　desirable　only　in　so　far　as　it　arouses　in　them

that　pleasurable　sensation　of　which　the　consciousness　and　the

expression　soothes　the　senses。　They　change　the　object　of　their

love　frequently；　since　their　principal　aim　consists　in　ensuring

that　the　voluptuous　feeling　of　their　adoration　shall　be

constantly　titillated。　To　preserve　in　themselves　this　sensuous

condition；　they　talk　unceasingly；　and　in　the　most　elegant　terms；

on　the　subject　of　the　love　which　they　feel；　not　only　for　its

immediate　object；　but　also　for　objects　upon　which　it　does　not

touch　at　all。　This　country　of　ours　contains　many　such

individualsindividuals　of　that　well…known　class　who；

cultivating　〃the　beautiful；〃　not　only　discourse　of　their　cult　to

all　and　sundry；　but　speak　of　it　pre…eminently　in　FRENCH。　It　may

seem　a　strange　and　ridiculous　thing　to　say；　but　I　am　convinced

that　among　us　we　have　had　in　the　past；　and　still　have；　a　large

section　of　societynotably　womenwhose　love　for　their　friends；

husbands；　or　children　would　expire　to…morrow　if　they　were

debarred　from　dilating　upon　it　in　the　tongue　of　France！



Love　of　the　second　kindrenunciatory　loveconsists　in　a

yearning　to　undergo　self…sacrifice　for　the　object　beloved；

regardless　of　any　consideration　whether　such　self…sacrifice　will

benefit　or　injure　the　object　in　question。　〃There　is　no　evil　which

I　would　not　endure　to　show　both　the　world　and　him　or　her　whom　I

adore　my　devotion。〃　There　we　have　the　formula　of　this　kind　of

love。　People　who　thus　love　never　look　for　reciprocity　of

affection；　since　it　is　a　finer　thing　to　sacrifice　yourself　for

one　who　does　not　comprehend　you。　Also；　they　are　always　painfully

eager　to　exaggerate　the　merits　of　their　sacrifice；　usually

constant　in　their　love；　for　the　reason　that　they　would　find　it

hard　to　forego　the　kudos　of　the　deprivations　which　they　endure

for　the　object　beloved；　always　ready　to　die；　to　prove　to　him　or

to　her　the　entirety　of　their　devotion；　but　sparing　of　such　small

daily　proofs　of　their　love　as　call　for　no　special　effort　of　self…

immolation。　They　do　not　much　care　whether　you　eat　well；　sleep

well；　keep　your　spirits　up；　or　enjoy　good　health；　nor　do　they

ever　do　anything　to　obtain　for　you　those　blessings　if　they　have

it　in　their　power；　but；　should　you　be　confronting　a　bullet；　or

have　fallen　into　the　water；　or　stand　in　danger　of　being　burnt；　or

have　had　your　heart　broken　in　a　love　affairwell；　for　all　these

things　they　are　prepared　if　the　occasion　should　arise。　Moreover；

people　addicted　to　love　of　such　a　self…sacrificing　order　are

invariably　proud　of　their　love；　exacting；　jealous；　distrustful；

andstrange　to　tellanxious　that　the　object　of　their　adoration

should　incur　perils　（so　that　they　may　save　it　from　calamity；　and

console　it　thereafter）　and　even　be　vicious　（so　that　they　may

purge　it　of　its　vice）。



Suppose；　now；　that　you　are　living　in　the　country　with　a　wife　who

loves　you　in　this　self…sacrificing　manner。　You　may　be　healthy　and

contented；　and　have　occupations　which　interest　you；　while；　on　the

other　hand；　your　wife　may　be　to