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action。　Suppose；　however；　that　people　DO　suppose　you　to　suppose

such　a　thingWell；　to　sum　up；〃　he　added；　feeling　that　he　was

getting　a　little　mixed　in　his　pronouncements；　〃you　had　much

better　not　suppose　anything　of　the　kind。〃



My　friend　was　perfectly　right；　though　it　was　not　until　long；　long

afterwards　that　experience　of　life　taught　me　the　evil　that　comes

of　thinkingstill　worse；　of　sayingmuch　that　seems　very　fine；

taught　me　that　there　are　certain　thoughts　which　should　always　be

kept　to　oneself；　since　brave　words　seldom　go　with　brave　deeds。　I

learnt　then　that　the　mere　fact　of　giving　utterance　to　a　good

intention　often　makes　it　difficult；　nay；　impossible；　to　carry

that　good　intention　into　effect。　Yet　how　is　one　to　refrain　from

giving　utterance　to　the　brave；　self…sufficient　impulses　of　youth？

Only　long　afterwards　does　one　remember　and　regret　them；　even　as

one　incontinently　plucks　a　flower　before　its　blooming；　and

subsequently　finds　it　lying　crushed　and　withered　on　the　ground。



The　very　next　morning　I；　who　had　just　been　telling　my　friend

Dimitri　that　money　corrupts　all　human　relations；　and　had　（as　we

have　seen）　squandered　the　whole　of　my　cash　on　pictures　and

Turkish　pipes；　accepted　a　loan　of　twenty　roubles　which　he

suggested　should　pay　for　my　travelling　expenses　into　the　country；

and　remained　a　long　while　thereafter　in　his　debt！



XXII



INTIMATE　CONVERSATION　WITH　MY　FRIEND



THIS　conversation　of　ours　took　place　in　a　phaeton　on　the　way　to

Kuntsevo。　Dimitri　had　invited　me　in　the　morning　to　go　with　him　to

his　mother's；　and　had　called　for　me　after　luncheon；　the　idea

being　that　I　should　spend　the　evening；　and　perhaps　also　pass　the

night；　at　the　country…house　where　his　family　lived。　Only　when　we

had　left　the　city　and　exchanged　its　grimy　streets　and　the

unbearably　deafening　clatter　of　its　pavements　for　the　open　vista

of　fields　and　the　subdued　grinding　of　carriage…wheels　on　a　dusty

high　road　（while　the　sweet　spring　air　and　prospect　enveloped　us

on　every　side）　did　I　awake　from　the　new　impressions　and

sensations　of　freedom　into　which　the　past　two　days　had　plunged

me。　Dimitri　was　in　his　kind　and　sociable　mood。　That　is　to　say；　he

was　neither　frowning　nor　blinking　nervously　nor　straightening　his

neck　in　his　collar。　For　my　own　part；　I　was　congratulating　myself

on　those　noble　sentiments　which　I　have　expressed　above；　in　the

belief　that　they　had　led　him　to　overlook　my　shameful　encounter

with　Kolpikoff；　and　to　refrain　from　despising　me　for　it。　Thus　we

talked　together　on　many　an　intimate　subject　which　even　a　friend

seldom　mentions　to　a　friend。　He　told　me　about　his　family　whose

acquaintance　I　had　not　yet　madeabout　his　mother；　his　aunt；　and

his　sister；　as　also　about　her　whom　Woloda　and　Dubkoff　believed　to

be　his　〃flame；〃　and　always　spoke　of　as　〃the　lady　with　the

chestnut　locks。〃　Of　his　mother　he　spoke　with　a　certain　cold　and

formal　commendation；　as　though　to　forestall　any　further　mention

of　her；　his　aunt　he　extolled　enthusiastically；　though　with　a

touch　of　condescension　in　his　tone；　his　sister　he　scarcely

mentioned　at　all；　as　though　averse　to　doing　so　in　my　presence；

but　on　the　subject　of　〃the　lady　with　the　chestnut　locks〃　（whose

real　name　was　Lubov　Sergievna；　and　who　was　a　grown…up　young　lady

living　on　a　family　footing　with　the　Nechludoffs）　he　discoursed

with　animation。



〃Yes；　she　is　a　wonderful　woman；〃　he　said　with　a　conscious

reddening　of　the　face；　yet　looking　me　in　the　eyes　with　dogged

temerity。　〃True；　she　is　no　longer　young；　and　even　rather　elderly；

as　well　as　by　no　means　good…looking；　but　as　for　loving　a　mere

featherhead；　a　mere　beautywell；　I　never　could　understand　that；

for　it　is　such　a　silly　thing　to　do。〃　（Dimitri　said　this　as　though

he　had　just　discovered　a　most　novel　and　extraordinary　truth。）　〃I

am　certain；　too；　that　such　a　soul；　such　a　heart　and　principles；

as　are　hers　are　not　to　be　found　elsewhere　in　the　world　of　the

present　day。〃　（I　do　not　know　whence　he　had　derived　the　habit　of

saying　that　few　good　things　were　discoverable　in　the　world　of　the

present　day；　but　at　all　events　he　loved　to　repeat　the　expression；

and　it　somehow　suited　him。）



〃Only；　I　am　afraid；〃　he　went　on　quietly；　after　thus　annihilating

all　such　men　as　were　foolish　enough　to　admire　mere　beauty；　〃I　am

afraid　that　you　will　not　understand　or　realise　her　quickly。　She

is　modest；　even　secretive；　and　by　no　means　fond　of　exhibiting　her

beautiful　and　surprising　qualities。　Now；　my　motherwho；　as　you

will　see；　is　a　noble；　sensible　womanhas　known　Lubov　Sergievna；

for　many　years；　yet　even　to　this　day　she　does　not　properly

understand　her。　Shall　I　tell　you　why　I　was　out　of　temper　last

evening　when　you　were　questioning　me？　Well；　you　must　know　that

the　day　before　yesterday　Lubov　asked　me　to　accompany　her　to　Ivan

Yakovlevitch's　（you　have　heard　of　him；　I　suppose？　the　fellow　who

seems　to　be　mad；　but　who；　in　reality；　is　a　very　remarkable　man）。

Well；　Lubov　is　extremely　religious；　and　understands　Ivan

Yakovlevitch　to　the　full。　She　often　goes　to　see　him；　and

converses　with　him；　and　gives　him　money　for　the　poormoney　which

she　has　earned　herself。　She　is　a　marvellous　woman；　as　you　will

see。　Well；　I　went　with　her　to　Ivan's；　and　felt　very　grateful　to

her　for　having　afforded　me　the　opportunity　of　exchanging　a　word

with　so　remarkable　a　man；　but　my　mother　could　not　understand　our

action　at　all；　and　discerned　in　it　only　superstition。

Consequently；　last　night　she　and　I　quarrelled　for　the　first　time

in　our　lives。　A　very　bitter　one　it　was；　too；〃　he　concluded；　with

a　convulsive　shrug　of　his　shoulders；　as　though　the　mention　of　it

recalled　the　feelings　which　he　had　then　experienced。



〃And　what　are　your　intentions　about　it　all？〃　I　inquired；　to

divert　him　from　such　a　disagreeable　recollection。　〃That　is　to

say；　how　do　you　imagine　it　is　going　to　turn　out？　Do　you　ever

speak　to　her　about　the　future；　or　about　how　your　love　or

friendship　are　going　to　end？〃



〃Do　you　mean；　do　I　intend　to　marry　her　eventually？〃　he　inquired；

in　his　turn；　with　a　renewed　blush；　but　turning　himself　round　and

looking　me　boldly　in　the　face。



〃Yes；　certainly；〃　I　replied　as　I　settled　myself　down。　〃We　are

both　of　us　grown…up；　as　well　as　friends；　so　we　may　as　well

discuss　our　future　life　as　we　drive　along。　No　one　could　very　well

overlook　or　overhear　us　now。〃



〃Why　should　I　NOT　marry　her？〃　he　went　on　in　response　to　my

reassuring　reply。　〃It　is　my　aimas　it　should　be　the　aim　of　every

honourable　manto　be　as　good　and　as　happy　as　possible；　and　with

her；　if　she　should　still　be　willing　when　I　have　become　more

independent；　I　should　be　happier　and　better　than　with　the

greatest　beauty　in　the　world。〃



Absorbed　in　such　conversation；　we　hardly　noticed　that　we　were

approaching　Kuntsevo；　or　that　the　sky　was　becoming　overcast　and

beginning　to　threaten　rain。　On　the　right；　the　sun　was　slowly

sinking　behind　the　ancient　trees　of　the　Kuntsevo　parkone　half

of　its　brilliant　disc　obscured　with　grey；　subluminous　cloud；　and

the　other　half　sending　forth　spokes　of　flaming　light　which　threw

the　old　trees　into　striking　relief　as　they　stood　there　with　their

dense　crowns　of　green　showing　against　a　blue　patch　of　sky。　The

light　and　shimmer　of　that　patch　contrasted　sharply　with　the　heavy

pink　cloud　which　lay　massed　above　a　young　birch…tree　visible　on

the　horizon　before　us；　while；　a　little　further　to　the　right；　the

parti…coloured　roofs　of　the　Kuntsevo　mansion　could　be　seen

projecting　above　a　belt　of　trees　and　undergrowthone　side　of　them

reflecting　the　glittering　rays　of　the　sun；　and　the　other　side

harmonising　with　the　more　louring　portion　of　the　heavens。　Below

us；　and　to　the　left；　showed　the　still　blue　of　a　pond　where　it　lay

surrounded　with　pale…green　laburnumsits　dull；　concave…looking

depths　repeating　the　trees　in　more　sombre　shades　of　colour　over

the　surface　of　a　hillock。　Beyond　the　water　spread　the　black

expanse　of　a　ploughed　field；　with　the　straight　line　of　a　dark…

green　ridge　by　which　it　was　bisected　running　far　into　the

distance；　and　there　joining　the　leaden；　threatening　horizon。



On　either　side　of　the　soft　road　along　which　the　phaeton　was

pursuing　the　even　tenour　of　its　way；　bright…green；　tangled；　juicy

belts　of　rye　were　sprouting　here　and　there　into　stalk。　Not　a

motion　was　perceptible　in　the　air；　only　a　sweet　freshness；　and

everything　looked　extraordinarily　clear　and　bright。　Near　the　road

I　could　see　a　little　brown　path　winding　its　way　among　the　dark…

green；　quarter…grown　stems　of　rye；　and　somehow　that　path　reminded

me　vividly　of　our　village；　and　somehow　（through　some　connection

of　thought）　the　idea　of　that　village　reminded　me　vividly　of

Sonetchka；　and　so　of　the　fact　that　I　was　in　love　with　her。



Notwithstanding　my　fondness　for　Dimitri　and　the　pleasure　which

his　frankness　had　afforded　me；　I　now　felt　as　though　I　desired　to


hear　no　more　about　his　feelings　and　intentions　with　regard　to

Lubov　Sergievna；　but　to　talk　unstintedly