the frozen deep(冰渊)-第10节
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〃Aloneand in tears。〃
〃The last I shall ever shed；〃 Wardour added； bitterly。
〃Don't say that！ There are times when a man is to be pitied indeed； if
he can shed no tears。 Go on； Richard。〃
Wardour proceededstill following the old recollections； still
preserving his gentler tones。
〃I should have quarreled with any other man who had surprised me at
that moment；〃 he said。 〃There was something； I suppose； in your voice
when you asked my pardon for disturbing me； that softened my heart。 I
told you I had met with a disappointment which had broken me for life。
There was no need to explain further。 The only hopeless wretchedness in
this world is the wretchedness that women cause。〃
〃And the only unalloyed happiness；〃 said Crayford； 〃the happiness that
women bring。〃
〃That may be your experience of them；〃 Wardour answered； 〃mine is
different。 All the devotion； the patience； the humility； the worship that
there is in man； I laid at the feet of a woman。 She accepted the offering as
women doaccepted it； easily； gracefully； unfeelinglyaccepted it as a
matter of course。 I left England to win a high place in my profession；
before I dared to win _her_。 I braved danger； and faced death。 I staked my
life in the fever swamps of Africa； to gain the promotion that I only
desired for her sakeand gained it。 I came back to give her all； and to ask
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nothing in return； but to rest my weary heart in the sunshine of her smile。
And her own lipsthe lips I had kissed at partingtold me that another
man had robbed me of her。 I spoke but few words when I heard that
confession； and left her forever。 'The time may come；' I told her； 'when I
shall forgive _you_。 But the man who has robbed me of you shall rue the
day when you and he first met。' Don't ask me who he was！ I have yet to
discover him。 The treachery had been kept secret； nobody could tell me
where to find him； nobody could tell me who he was。 What did it matter？
When I had lived out the first agony； I could rely on myselfI could be
patient； and bide my time。〃
〃Your time？ What time？〃
〃The time when I and that man shall meet face to face。 I knew it then； I
know it nowit was written on my heart then； it is written on my heart
nowwe two shall meet and know each other！ With that conviction strong
within me； I volunteered for this service； as I would have volunteered for
anything that set work and hardship and danger； like ramparts； between
my misery and me。 With that conviction strong within me still； I tell you it
is no matter whether I stay here with the sick； or go hence with the strong。
I shall live till I have met that man！ There is a day of reckoning appointed
between us。 Here in the freezing cold； or away in the deadly heat； in battle
or in shipwreck； in the face of starvation； under the shadow of pestilence
I； though hundreds are falling round me； I shall live！ live for the coming of
one day！ live for the meeting with one man！〃
He stopped； trembling； body and soul； under the hold that his own
terrible superstition had fastened on him。 Crayford drew back in silent
horror。 Wardour noticed the actionhe resented ithe appealed； in defense
of his one cherished conviction； to Crayford's own experience of him。
〃Look at me！〃 he cried。 〃Look how I have lived and thriven； with the
heart…ache gnawing at me at home； and the winds of the icy north
whistling round me here！ I am the strongest man among you。 Why？ I have
fought through hardships that have laid the best…seasoned men of all our
party on their backs。 Why？ What have _I_ done； that my life should throb
as bravely through every vein in my body at this minute； and in this deadly
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place； as ever it did in the wholesome breezes of home？ What am I
preserved for？ I tell you again； for the coming of one dayfor the meeting
with one man。〃
He paused once more。 This time Crayford spoke。
〃Richard！〃 he said； 〃since we first met； I have believed in your better
nature； against all outward appearance。 I have believed in you； firmly；
truly； as your brother might。 You are putting that belief to a hard test。 If
your enemy had told me that you had ever talked as you talk now； that you
had ever looked as you look now； I would have turned my back on him as
the utterer of a vile calumny against a just； a brave； an upright man。 Oh！
my friend； my friend； if ever I have deserved well of you； put away these
thoughts from your heart！ Face me again； with the stainless look of a man
who has trampled under his feet the bloody superstitions of revenge； and
knows them no more！ Never； never； let the time come when I cannot offer
you my hand as I offer it now； to the man I can still admireto the brother
I can still love！〃
The heart that no other voice could touch felt that appeal。 The fierce
eyes； the hard voice； softened under Crayford's influence。 Richard
Wardour's head sank on his breast。
〃You are kinder to me than I deserve；〃 he said。 〃Be kinder still； and
forget what I have been talking about。 No！ no more about me； I am not
worth it。 We'll change the subject； and never go back to it again。 Let's do
something。 Work； Crayfordthat's the true elixir of our life！ Work； that
stretches the muscles and sets the blood a…glowing。 Work； that tires the
body and rests the mind。 Is there nothing in hand that I can do？ Nothing to
cut？ nothing to carry？〃
The door opened as he put the question。 Batesonappointed to chop
Frank's bed…place into firingappeared punctually with his ax。 Wardour；
without a word of warning； snatched the ax out of the man's hand。
〃What was this wanted for？〃 he asked。
〃To cut up Mr。 Aldersley's berth there into firing； sir。〃
〃I'll do it for you！ I'll have it down in no time！〃 He turned to Crayford。
〃You needn't be afraid about me； old friend。 I am going to do the right
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thing。 I am going to tire my body and rest my mind。〃
The evil spirit in him was plainly subduedfor the time； at least。
Crayford took his hand in silence； and then （followed by Bateson） left him
to his work。
Chapter 10。
Ax in hand； Wardour approached Frank's bed…place。
〃If I could only cut the thoughts out of me；〃 he said to himself； 〃as I
am going to cut the billets out of this wood！〃 He attacked the bed…place
with the ax； like a man who well knew the use of his instrument。 〃Oh me！〃
he thought； sadly； 〃if I had only been born a carpenter instead of a
gentleman！ A good ax； Master BatesonI wonder where you got it？
Something like a grip； my man； on this handle。 Poor Crayford！ his words
stick in my throat。 A fine fellow！ a noble fellow！ No use thinking； no use
regretting； what is said； is said。 Work！ work！ work！〃
Plank after plank fell out on the floor。 He laughed over the easy task of
destruction。 〃Aha！ young Aldersley！ It doesn't take much to demolish your
bed…place。 I'll have it down！ I would have the whole hut down； if they
would only give me the chance of chopping at it！〃
A long strip of wood fell to his axlong enough to require cutting in
two。 He turned it； and stooped over it。 Something caught his eyeletters
carved in the wood。 He looked closer。 The letters were very faintly and
badly cut。 He could only make out the first three of them； and even of
those he was not quite certain。 They looked like C L Aif they looked like
anything。 He threw down the strip of wood irritably。
〃Dn the fellow （whoever he is） who cut this！ Why should he carve
_that_ name； of all the names in the world？〃
He paused； consideringthen determined to go on again with his self…
imposed labor。 He was ashamed of his own outburst。 He looked eagerly
for the ax。 〃Work； work！ Nothing for it but work。〃 He found the ax； and
went on again。
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