the water-babies-第36节

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　baby；　or　some　other　baby；　and　then　you　might　have　a　chance。〃

〃Turn　into　a　baby；　eh？　　If　I　could　do　that；　and　know　what　was　happening　to　me　for　but　one　hour；　I　should　know　everything　then；　and　be　at　rest。　　But　I　can't；　I　can't　be　a　little　child　again；　and　I　suppose　if　I　could；　it　would　be　no　use；　because　then　I　should　then　know　nothing　about　what　was　happening　to　me。　　Ah；　you　lucky　little　dog！〃　said　the　poor　old　giant。

〃But　why　do　you　run　after　all　these　poor　people？〃　said　Tom；　who　liked　the　giant　very　much。

〃My　dear；　it's　they　that　have　been　running　after　me；　father　and　son；　for　hundreds　and　hundreds　of　years；　throwing　stones　at　me　till　they　have　knocked　off　my　spectacles　fifty　times；　and　calling　me　a　malignant　and　a　turbaned　Turk；　who　beat　a　Venetian　and　traduced　the　State　…　goodness　only　knows　what　they　mean；　for　I　never　read　poetry　…　and　hunting　me　round　and　round　…　though　catch　me　they　can't；　for　every　time　I　go　over　the　same　ground；　I　go　the　faster；　and　grow　the　bigger。　　While　all　I　want　is　to　be　friends　with　them；　and　to　tell　them　something　to　their　advantage；　like　Mr。　Joseph　Ady：　　only　somehow　they　are　so　strangely　afraid　of　hearing　it。　　But；　I　suppose　I　am　not　a　man　of　the　world；　and　have　no　tact。〃

〃But　why　don't　you　turn　round　and　tell　them　so？〃

〃Because　I　can't。　　You　see；　I　am　one　of　the　sons　of　Epimetheus；　and　must　go　backwards；　if　I　am　to　go　at　all。〃

〃But　why　don't　you　stop；　and　let　them　come　up　to　you？〃

〃Why；　my　dear；　only　think。　　If　I　did；　all　the　butterflies　and　cockyolybirds　would　fly　past　me；　and　then　I　should　catch　no　more　new　species；　and　should　grow　rusty　and　mouldy；　and　die。　　And　I　don't　intend　to　do　that；　my　dear；　for　I　have　a　destiny　before　me；　they　say：　　though　what　it　is　I　don't　know；　and　don't　care。〃

〃Don't　care？〃　said　Tom。

〃No。　　Do　the　duty　which　lies　nearest　you；　and　catch　the　first　beetle　you　come　across；　is　my　motto；　and　I　have　thriven　by　it　for　some　hundred　years。　　Now　I　must　go　on。　　Dear　me；　while　I　have　been　talking　to　you；　at　least　nine　new　species　have　escaped　me。〃

And　on　went　the　giant；　behind　before；　like　a　bull　in　a　china…shop；　till　he　ran　into　the　steeple　of　the　great　idol　temple　（for　they　are　all　idolaters　in　those　parts；　of　course；　else　they　would　never　be　afraid　of　giants）；　and　knocked　the　upper　half　clean　off；　hurting　himself　horribly　about　the　small　of　the　back。

But　little　he　cared；　for　as　soon　as　the　ruins　of　the　steeple　were　well　between　his　legs；　he　poked　and　peered　among　the　falling　stones；　and　shifted　his　spectacles；　and　pulled　out　his　pocket…　magnifier；　and　cried　…

〃An　entirely　new　Oniscus；　and　three　obscure　Podurellae！　　Besides　a　moth　which　M。　le　Roi　des　Papillons　（though　he；　like　all　Frenchmen；　is　given　to　hasty　inductions）　says　is　confined　to　the　limits　of　the　Glacial　Drift。　　This　is　most　important！〃

And　down　he　sat　on　the　nave　of　the　temple　（not　being　a　man　of　the　world）　to　examine　his　Podurellae。　　Whereon　（as　was　to　be　expected）　the　roof　caved　in　bodily；　smashing　the　idols；　and　sending　the　priests　flying　out　of　doors　and　windows；　like　rabbits　out　of　a　burrow　when　a　ferret　goes　in。

But　he　never　heeded；　for　out　of　the　dust　flew　a　bat；　and　the　giant　had　him　in　a　moment。

〃Dear　me！　　This　is　even　more　important！　　Here　is　a　cognate　species　to　that　which　Macgilliwaukie　Brown　insists　is　confined　to　the　Buddhist　temples　of　Little　Thibet；　and　now　when　I　look　at　it；　it　may　be　only　a　variety　produced　by　difference　of　climate！〃

And　having　bagged　his　bat；　up　he　got；　and　on　he　went；　while　all　the　people　ran；　being　in　none　the　better　humour　for　having　their　temple　smashed　for　the　sake　of　three　obscure　species　of　Podurella；　and　a　Buddhist　bat。

〃Well；〃　thought　Tom；　〃this　is　a　very　pretty　quarrel；　with　a　good　deal　to　be　said　on　both　sides。　　But　it　is　no　business　of　mine。〃

And　no　more　it　was；　because　he　was　a　water…baby；　and　had　the　original　sow　by　the　right　ear；　which　you　will　never　have；　unless　you　be　a　baby；　whether　of　the　water；　the　land；　or　the　air；　matters　not；　provided　you　can　only　keep　on　continually　being　a　baby。

So　the　giant　ran　round　after　the　people；　and　the　people　ran　round　after　the　giant；　and　they　are　running；　unto　this　day　for　aught　I　know；　or　do　not　know；　and　will　run　till　either　he；　or　they；　or　both；　turn　into　little　children。　　And　then；　as　Shakespeare　says　（and　therefore　it　must　be　true）　…


〃Jack　shall　have　Gill　Nought　shall　go　ill　The　man　shall　have　his　mare　again；　and　all　go　well。〃


Then　Tom　came　to　a　very　famous　island；　which　was　called；　in　the　days　of　the　great　traveller　Captain　Gulliver；　the　Isle　of　Laputa。　But　Mrs。　Bedonebyasyoudid　has　named　it　over　again　the　Isle　of　Tomtoddies；　all　heads　and　no　bodies。

And　when　Tom　came　near　it；　he　heard　such　a　grumbling　and　grunting　and　growling　and　wailing　and　weeping　and　whining　that　he　thought　people　must　be　ringing　little　pigs；　or　cropping　puppies'　ears；　or　drowning　kittens：　　but　when　he　came　nearer　still；　he　began　to　hear　words　among　the　noise；　which　was　the　Tomtoddies'　song　which　they　sing　morning　and　evening；　and　all　night　too；　to　their　great　idol　Examination　…


〃I　can't　learn　my　lesson：　　the　examiner's　coming！〃


And　that　was　the　only　song　which　they　knew。

And　when　Tom　got　on　shore　the　first　thing　he　saw　was　a　great　pillar；　on　one　side　of　which　was　inscribed；　〃Playthings　not　allowed　here；〃　at　which　he　was　so　shocked　that　he　would　not　stay　to　see　what　was　written　on　the　other　side。　　Then　he　looked　round　for　the　people　of　the　island：　　but　instead　of　men；　women；　and　children；　he　found　nothing　but　turnips　and　radishes；　beet　and　mangold　wurzel；　without　a　single　green　leaf　among　them；　and　half　of　them　burst　and　decayed；　with　toad…stools　growing　out　of　them。　　Those　which　were　left　began　crying　to　Tom；　in　half　a　dozen　different　languages　at　once；　and　all　of　them　badly　spoken；　〃I　can't　learn　my　lesson；　do　come　and　help　me！〃　　And　one　cried；　〃Can　you　show　me　how　to　extract　this　square　root？〃

And　another；　〃Can　you　tell　me　the　distance　between　＇alpha＇　Lyrae　and　＇beta＇　Camelopardis？〃

And　another；　〃What　is　the　latitude　and　longitude　of　Snooksville；　in　Noman's　County；　Oregon；　U。S。？〃

And　another；　〃What　was　the　name　of　Mutius　Scaevola's　thirteenth　cousin's　grandmother's　maid's　cat？〃

And　another；　〃How　long　would　it　take　a　school…inspector　of　average　activity　to　tumble　head　over　heels　from　London　to　York？〃

And　another；　〃Can　you　tell　me　the　name　of　a　place　that　nobody　ever　heard　of；　where　nothing　ever　happened；　in　a　country　which　has　not　been　discovered　yet？〃

And　another；　〃Can　you　show　me　how　to　correct　this　hopelessly　corrupt　passage　of　Graidiocolosyrtus　Tabenniticus；　on　the　cause　why　crocodiles　have　no　tongues？〃

And　so　on；　and　so　on；　and　so　on；　till　one　would　have　thought　they　were　all　trying　for　tide…waiters'　places；　or　cornetcies　in　the　heavy　dragoons。

〃And　what　good　on　earth　will　it　do　you　if　I　did　tell　you？〃　quoth　Tom。

Well；　they　didn't　know　that：　　all　they　knew　was　the　examiner　was　coming。

Then　Tom　stumbled　on　the　hugest　and　softest　nimblecomequick　turnip　you　ever　saw　filling　a　hole　in　a　crop　of　swedes；　and　it　cried　to　him；　〃Can　you　tell　me　anything　at　all　about　anything　you　like？〃

〃About　what？〃　says　Tom。

〃About　anything　you　like；　for　as　fast　as　I　learn　things　I　forget　them　again。　　So　my　mamma　says　that　my　intellect　is　not　adapted　for　methodic　science；　and　says　that　I　must　go　in　for　general　information。〃

Tom　told　him　that　he　did　not　know　general　information；　nor　any　officers　in　the　army；　only　he　had　a　friend　once　that　went　for　a　drummer：　　but　he　could　tell　him　a　great　many　strange　things　which　he　had　seen　in　his　travels。

So　he　told　him　prettily　enough；　while　the　poor　turnip　listened　very　carefully；　and　the　more　he　listened；　the　more　he　forgot；　and　the　more　water　ran　out　of　him。

Tom　thought　he　was　crying：　　but　it　was　only　his　poor　brains　running　away；　from　being　worked　so　hard；　and　as　Tom　talked；　the　unhappy　turnip　streamed　down　all　over　with　juice；　and　split　and　shrank　till　nothing　was　left　of　him　but　rind　and　water；　whereat　Tom　ran　away　in　a　fright；　for　he　thought　he　might　be　taken　up　for　killing　the　turnip。

But；　on　the　contrary；　the　turnip's　parents　were　highly　delighted；　and　considered　him　a　saint　and　a　martyr；　and　put　up　a　long　inscription　over　his　tomb　about　his　wonderful　talents；　early　development；　and　unparalleled　precocity。　　Were　they　not　a　foolish　couple？　　But　there　was　a　still　more　foolish　couple　next　to　them；　who　were　beating　a　wretched　little　radish；　no　bigger　than　my　thumb；　for　sullenness　and　obstinacy　and　wilful　stupidity；　and　never　knew　that　the　reason　why　it　couldn't　learn　or　hardly　even　speak　was；　that　there　was　a　great　worm　inside　it　eating　out　all　its　brains。　But　even　they　are　no　foolisher　than　some　hundred　score　of　papas　and　mammas；　who　fetch　the　rod　when　they　ought　to　fetch　a　new　toy；　and　send　to　the　dark　cupboard　instead　of　to　the　doctor。

Tom　was　so　puzzled　and　frightened　with　all　he　saw；　that　he　was　longing　to　ask　the　meaning　of　it；　and　at　last　he　stumbled　over　a　respectable　old　stick　lying　half　covered　with　earth。　　But　a　very　stout　and　worthy　stick　it　was；　for　it　belonged　to　good　Roger　Ascham　in　old　time；　and　had　carved　on　its　head　King　Edward　the　Sixth；　with　the　Bible　in　his　hand。

〃You　see；〃　said