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on a tremendous and sounding epic of life。  Valhalla

itself could not be more glorious and sonorous。  The

classic marble on which we ate; the great; light…

flooded; vitreous front; adorned with snow…white

scrolls; the grand Wagnerian din of clanking cups

and bowls the flashing staccato of brandishing cut…

lery; the piercing recitative of the white…aproned

grub…maidens at the morgue…like banquet tables; the

recurrent lied…motif of the cash…register  it was a

gigantic; triumphant welding of art and sound; a

deafening; soul…uplifting pageant of heroic and em…

blematic life。  And the beans were only ten cents。

We wondered why our fellow…artists cared to dine at

sad little tables in their so…called Bohemian restau…

rants; and we shuddered lest they should seek out our

resorts and make them conspicuous with their pres…

ence。



Pettit wrote many stories; which the editors re…

turned to him。  He wrote love stories; a thing I have

always kept free from; holding the belief that the

well…known and popular sentiment is not properly a

matter for publication; but something to be privately

handled by the alienists and florists。  But the editors

had told him that they wanted love stories; because

they said the women read them。



Now; the editors are wrong about that; of course。

Women do not read the love stories in the magazines。

They read the poker…game stories and the recipes

for cucumber lotion。  The love stories are read by

fat cigar drummers and little ten…year…old girls。  I

am not criticising the judgment of editors。  They

are mostly very fine men; but a man can be but one

man; with individual opinions and tastes。  I knew

two associate editors of a magazine who were won…

derfully alike in almost everything。  And yet one

of them was very fond of Flaubert; while the other

preferred gin。



Pettit brought me his returned manuscripts; and

we looked them over together to find out why they

were not accepted。  They seemed to me pretty fair

stories; written in a good style; and ended; as they

should; at the bottom of the last page。



They were well constructed and the events were

marshalled in orderly and logical sequence。  But I

thought I detected a lack of living substance  it

was much as if I gazed at a symmetrical array of

presentable clamshells from which the succulent and

vital inhabitants had been removed。  I intimated that

the author might do well to get better acquainted with

his theme。



〃You sold a story last week;〃 said Pettit; 〃about

a gun fight in an Arizona mining town in which the

hero drew his Colt's 。45 and shot seven bandits as

fast as they came in the door。  Now; if a six…shooter

could  〃



〃Oh; well;〃 said I; 〃that's different。  Arizona is

a long way from New York。 I could have a man

stabbed with a lariat or chased by a pair of chap…

arreras if I wanted to; and it wouldn't be noticed

until the usual error…sharp from around McAdams

Junction isolates the erratum and writes in to the pa…

pers about it。  But you are up against another

proposition。  This thing they call love is as common

around New York as it is in Sheboygan during the

young onion season。  It may be mixed here with a

little commercialism  they read Byron; but they

look up Bradstreet's; too; while they're among the

B's; and Brigham also if they have time  but it's

pretty much the same old internal disturbance every…

where。  You can fool an editor with a fake picture of

a cowboy mounting a pony with his left hand on the

saddle horn; but you can't put him up a tree with a

love story。  So; you've got to fall in love and then

write the real thing。〃



Pettit did。  I never knew whether he was taking

my advice or whether be fell an accidental victim。



There was a girl be had met at one of these studio

contrivances … a glorious; impudent; lucid; open…

minded girl with hair the color of Culmbacher; and a

good…natured way of despising you。  She was a New

York girl。



Well (as the narrative style permits us to say in…

frequently); Pettit went to pieces。  All those pains;

those lover's doubts; those heart…burnings and

tremors of which be had written so unconvincingly

were his。  Talk about Shylock's pound of flesh!

Twenty…five pounds Cupid got from Pettit。  Which

is the usurer?



One night Pettit came to my room exalted。  Pale

and haggard but exalted。  She had given him a

jonquil。



〃Old Hoss;〃 said he; with a new smile flickering

around his mouth; 〃I believe I could write that story

to…night  the one; you know; that is to win out。



〃I can feel it。  I don't know whether it will come out

or not; but I can feel it。〃

I pushed him out of my door。  〃Go to your room

and write it;〃 I ordered。  〃Else I can see your fin…

ish。  I told you this must come first。  Write it to…

night and put it under my door when it is done。  Put

it under my door to…night when it is finished 

don't keep it until to…morrow。〃



I was reading my bully old pal Montaigne at two

o'clock when I beard the sheets rustle under my door。

I gathered them up and read the story。



The hissing of geese; the languishing cooing of

doves; the braying of donkeys; the chatter of irre…

sponsible sparrows … these were in my mind's ear as

I read。  〃Suffering Sappho!〃 I exclaimed to myself。

〃Is this the divine fire that is supposed to ignite

genius and make it practicable and wage…earning?〃



The story was sentimental drivel; full of whim…

pering softheartedness and gushing egoism。  All

the art that Pettit had acquired was gone。  A pe…

rusal of its buttery phrases would have made a cynic

of a sighing chambermaid。



In the morning Pettit came to my room。  I read

him his doom mercilessly。  He laughed idiotically。



〃All right; Old Hoss;〃 he said; cheerily; 〃make

cigar…lighters of it。  What's the difference?  I'm

going to take her to lunch at Claremont to…day。〃



There was about a month of it。  And then Pettit

came to me bearing an invisible mitten; with the forti…

tude of a dish…rag。  He talked of the grave and

South America and prussic acid; and I lost an after…

noon getting him straight。  I took him out and saw

that large and curative doses of whiskey were ad…

ministered to him。  I warned you this was a true

story  'ware your white ribbons if only follow this

tale。  For two weeks I fed him whiskey and Omar;

and read to him regularly every evening the column

in the evening paper that reveals the secrets of fe…

male beauty。 I recommend the treatment。



After Pettit was cured be wrote more stories。 He

recovered his old…time facility and did work just

short of good enough。  Then the curtain rose on

the third act。



A little; dark…eyed; silent girl from New Hamp…

shire; who was studying applied design; fell deeply

in love with him。  She was the intense sort; but ex…

ternally glace; such as New England sometimes fools

us with。  Pettit liked her mildly; and took her about

a good deal。  She worshipped him; and now and then

ignored him。



There came a climax when she tried to jump out

of a window; and he had to save her by some perfunc…

tary; unmeant wooing。  Even I was shaken by the

depths of the absorbing affection she showed。  Home;

friends; traditions; creeds went up like thistle…down

in the scale against her love。  It was really discom…

posing。



One night again Pettit sauntered in; yawning。  As

he had told me before; he said he felt that he could

do a great story; and as before I hunted him to his

room and saw him open his inkstand。  At one o'clock

the sheets of paper slid under my door。



I read that story; and I jumped up; late as it was;

with a whoop of joy。  Old Pettit had done it。  Just

as though it lay there; red and bleeding; a woman's

heart was written into the lines。  You couldn't see

the joining; but art; exquisite art; and pulsing na…

ture had been combined into a love story that took

you by the throat like the quinsy。  I broke into

Pettit's room and beat him on the back and called

him name  names high up in the galaxy of the im…

mortals that we admired。  And Pettit yawned and

begged to be allowed to sleep。



On the morrow; I dragged him to an editor。  The

great man read; and; rising; gave Pettit his hand。

That was a decoration; a wreath of bay; and a guar…

antee of rent。



And then old Pettit smiled slowly。  I call him Gen…

tleman Pettit now to myself。  It's a miserable name

to give a man; but it sounds better than it looks in

print。



〃I see;〃 said old Pettit; as he took up his story

and began tearing it into small strips。  〃I see the

game now。  You can't write with ink; and you can't

write with your own heart's blood; but you can write

with the heart's blood of some one else。  You have

to be a cad before you can be an artist。  Well; I am

for old Alabam and the Major's store。  Have you

got a light; Old Hoss?〃



I went with Pettit to the d

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