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over your luck。  Rubber will stretch。



The church was lighted。  A grosgrain carpet lay

over the asphalt to the edge of the sidewalk。  Brides…

maids were patting one another's sashes awry and

speaking of the Bride's freckles。  Coachmen tied

white ribbons on their whips and bewailed the space

of time between drinks。 The minister was musing

over his possible fee; essaying conjecture whether it

would suffice to purchase a new broadcloth suit for

himself and a photograph of Laura Jane Libbey for

his wife。  Yea; Cupid was in the air。



And outside the church; oh; my brothers; surged

and heaved the rank and file of the tribe of Rubberers。

in two bodies they were; with the grosgrain carpet

and cops with clubs between。  They crowded like

cattle; they fought; they pressed and surged and

swayed and trampled one another to see a bit of a

girl in a white veil acquire license to go through a

man's pockets while be sleeps。

But the hour for the wedding came and went; and

the bride and bridegroom came not。  And impatience

gave way to alarm and alarm brought about search;

and they were not found。  And then two big police…

men took a band and dragged out of the furious mob

of onlookers a crushed and trampled thing; with a

wedding ring in its vest pocket and a shredded and

hysterical woman beating her way to the carpet's

edge; ragged; bruised and obstreperous。



William Pry and Violet Seymour; creatures of

habit; had joined in the seething game of the specta…

tors; unable to resist the overwhelming desire to gaze

upon themselves entering; as bride and bridegroom;

the rose…decked church。



Rubber will out。









ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS





〃One thousand dollars;〃  repeated Lawyer Tolman;

solemnly and severely; 〃and here is the money。〃



Young Gillian gave a decidedly amused laugh as

he fingered the thin package of new fifty…dollar notes。



〃It's such a confoundedly awkward amount;〃 he

explained; genially; to the lawyer。  〃If it had been

ten thousand a fellow might wind up with a lot of

fireworks and do himself credit。  Even fifty dollars

would have been less trouble。〃



〃You heard the reading of your uncle's will;〃 con…

tinued Lawyer Tolman; professionally dry in his

tones。  〃I do not know if you paid much attention

to its details。  I must remind you of one。  You are

required to render to us an account of the manner of

expenditure of this 1;000 as soon as you have dis…

posed of it。  The will stipulates that。  I trust that

you will so far comply with the late Mr。 Gillian's

wishes。〃



〃You may depend upon it;〃 said the young man。%

politely; 〃in spite of the extra expense it will entail。

I may have to engage a secretary。  I was never good

at accounts。〃



Gillian went to his club。  There be hunted out one

whom he called Old Bryson。



Old Bryson was calm and forty and sequestered。

He was in a corner reading a book; and when he saw

Gillian approaching he sighed; laid down his book

and took off his glasses。



〃Old Bryson; wake up;〃 said Gillian。  〃I've a

funny story to tell you。〃



〃 I wish you would tell it to some one in the billiard

room;〃 said Old Bryson。  〃You know how I hate

your stories。〃



〃 This is a better one than usual;〃 said Gillian;

rolling a cigarette; 〃 and I'm glad to tell it to you。

It's too sad and funny to go with the rattling of

billiard bars。  I've just come from my late uncle's

firm of legal corsairs。  He leaves me an even thou…

sand dollars。  Now; what can a man possibly do with

a thousand dollars?  〃



〃I thought;〃 said Old Bryson; showing as much

interest as a bee shows in a vinegar cruet; 〃that the

late Septimus Gillian was worth something like half

a million。〃



〃 He was;〃 assented Gillian; joyously; 〃 and that's

where the joke comes in。  He's left his whole cargo of

doubloons to a microbe。  That is; part of it goes to

the man who invents a new bacillus and the rest to es…

tablish a hospital for doing away with it again。



There are one or two trifling bequests on the side。

… the butler and the housekeeper get a seal ring and

10 each。  His nephew gets 1;000。〃



〃You've always had plenty of money to spend;〃

observed Old Bryson。



〃Tons;〃  said Gillian。 〃Uncle was the fairygod…

mother as far as an allowance was concerned。〃



〃Any other heirs?  〃 asked Old Bryson。



〃None。〃 Gillian frowned at his cigarette and

kicked the upholstered leather of a divan uneasily。



There is a Miss Hayden; a ward of my uncle; who

lived in his house。  She's a quiet thing … musical …

the daughter of somebody who was unlucky enough to

be his friend。  I forgot to say that she was in on the

seal ring and 10 joke; too。  I wish I had been。

Then I could have had two bottles of brut; tipped the

waiter with the ring and had the whole business off

my bands。  Don't be superior and insulting; Old Bry…

son … tell me what a fellow can do with a thousand

dollars。〃

Old Bryson rubbed his glasses and smiled。  And

when Old Bryson smiled; Gillian knew that be in…

tended to be more offensive than ever。



〃A thousand dollars;〃 lie said; 〃means much or

little。  One man may buy a happy home with it and

laugh at Rockefeller。  Another could send his wife

South with it and save her life。  A thousand dollars

would buy pure milk for one hundred babies during

June; July; and August and save fifty of their lives。

You could count upon a half hour's diversion with it

at faro in one of the fortified art galleries。  It would

furnish an education to an ambitious boy。  I am told

that a genuine Corot was secured for that amount in

an auction room yesterday。  You could move to a

New Hampshire town and live respectably two

years on it。  You could rent Madison Square Garden

for one evening with it; and lecture your audience; if

you should have one; on the precariousness of the pro…

fession of heir presumptive。〃



〃People might like you; Old Bryson;〃 said Gillian;

always unruffled; 〃if you wouldn't moralize。  I asked

you to tell me what I could do with a thousand

dollars。〃



〃You?〃 said Bryson; with a gentle laugh。

〃Why; Bobby Gillian; there's only one logical thing

you could do。  You can go buy Miss Lotta Lauriere

a diamond pendant with the money; and then take

yourself off to Idaho and inflict; your presence upon a

ranch。  I advise a sheep ranch; as I have a particular

dislike for sheep。〃



〃Thanks;〃 said Gillian; rising; 〃I thought I

could depend upon you; Old Bryson。  You've hit on

the very scheme。  I wanted to chuck the money in a

lump; for I've got to turn in an account for it; and

I hate itemizing。〃



Gillian phoned for a cab and said to the driver:

〃The stage entrance of the Columbine Theatre。〃…

Miss Lotta Lauriere was assisting nature with a

powder puff; almost ready for her call at a crowded

Matinee; when her dresser mentioned the name of Mr。

Gillian。



〃Let it in;〃 said Miss Lauriere。  〃 Now; what is

it; Bobby?  I'm going on in two minutes。〃



〃Rabbit…foot your right ear a little;〃 suggested

Gillian; critically。  〃 That's better。  It won't take

two minutes for me。  What do you say to a little

thing in the pendant line?  I can stand three ciphers

with a figure one in front of 'em。〃



〃Oh; just as you say;〃 carolled Miss Lauriere。

my right glove; Adams。  Say; Bobby; did you see

that necklace Della Stacey had on the other night?

Twenty…two hundred dollars it cost at Tiffany's。

But; of course …pull my sash a little to the left;

Adams。〃



〃Miss Lauriere for the opening chorus!〃  cried the

call boy without。



Gillian strolled out to where his cab was waiting。



〃What would you do with a thousand dollars if

you had it?〃 be asked the driver。



〃Open a s'loon;〃 said the cabby; promptly and

huskily。  〃 I know a place I could take money in with

both hands。  It's a four…story brick on a corner。

I've got it figured out。  Second story … Chinks and

chop suey; third floor …manicures and foreign mis…

sions; fourth floor …poolroom。  If you was think…

of putting up the capital。



〃Oh; no;〃 said Gillian;  I merely asked from cu…

riosity。  I take you by the hour。  Drive 'til I tell you

to stop。〃



Eight blocks down Broadway Gillian poked up

the trap with his cane and got out。  A blind man sat

upon a stool on the sidewalk selling pencils。  Gillian

went out and stood before him。



〃Excuse me;〃 he said; 〃 but would you mind tell…

ing me what you would do if you bad a thousand

dollars?〃



〃You got out of that cab that just drove up;

didn't you?  〃 asked the blind man。



〃I did;〃 said Gillian。



〃 guess you are all right;〃 said the pencil dealer;

〃to ride in a cab by daylight。  Take a look at that;

if you like。〃



He drew a small book from his coat pocket and

held it out。  Gillian opened it and saw that it was a

bank deposit book。  It showed a balance of 1;785 to

t

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