a far country-第90节

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freshly　cut　silver　shaving；　that　presently　turned　to　gold；　the　white　star
above　it　to　fire。

Where　the　valleys　widened　we　came　to　silent；　decorous　little　towns　and
villages　where　yellow…lit　windows　gleaming　through　the　trees　suggested
refuge　and　peace；　while　we　were　wanderers　in　the　night。　　It　was　Nancy's
mood；　and　now；　in　the　evening's　chill；　it　recurred　to　me　poignantly。　　In
one　of　these　villages　we　passed　a　church；　its　doors　flung　open；　the
congregation　was　singing　a　familiar　hymn。　　I　slowed　down　the　car；　I　felt
her　shoulder　pressing　against　my　own；　and　reached　out　my　hand　and　found
hers。

〃Are　you　warm　enough？〃　I　asked。。。。

We　spoke　but　little　on　that　drive；　we　had　learned　the　futility　of　words
to　express　the　greater　joys　and　sorrows；　the　love　that　is　compounded　of
these。

It　was　late　when　we　turned　in　between　the　white　dates　and　made　our　way　up
the　little　driveway　to　the　farmhouse。　　I　bade　her　good　night　on　the　steps
of　the　porch。

〃You　do　love　me；　don't　you？〃　she　whispered；　clinging　to　me　with　a　sudden；
straining　passion。　　〃You　will　love　me；　always　no　matter　what　happens？〃

〃Why；　of　course；　Nancy；〃　I　answered。

〃I　want　to　hear　you　say　it；　'I　love　you；　I　shall　love　you　always。'〃

I　repeated　it　fervently。。。。

〃No　matter　what　happens？〃

〃No　matter　what　happens。　　As　if　I　could　help　it；　Nancy！　　Why　are　you　so
sad　to…night？〃

〃Ah；　Hugh；　it　makes　me　sadI　can't　tell　why。　　It　is　so　great；　it　is　so
terrible；　and　yet　it's　so　sweet　and　beautiful。〃

She　took　my　face　in　her　hands　and　pressed　a　kiss　against　my　forehead。。。。

The　next　day　was　dark。　　At　two　o'clock　in　the　afternoon　the　electric
light　was　still　burning　over　my　desk　when　the　telephone　rang　and　I　heard
Nancy's　voice。

〃Is　that　you；　Hugh？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃I　have　to　go　East　this　afternoon。〃

〃Why？〃　I　asked。　　Her　agitation　had　communicated　itself　to　me。　　〃I　thought
you　weren't　going　until　Thursday。　　What's　the　matter？〃

〃I've　just　had　a　telegram；〃　she　said。　　〃Ham's　been　hurtI　don't　know　how
badlyhe　was　thrown　from　a　polo　pony　this　morning　at　Narragansett；　in
practice；　and　they're　taking　him　to　Boston　to　a　private　hospital。　　The
telegram's　from　Johnny　Shephard。　　I'll　be　at　the　house　in　town　at　four。〃

Filled　with　forebodings　I　tried　in　vain　to　suppress　I　dropped　the　work　I
was　doing　and　got　up　and　paced　the　room；　pausing　now　and　again　to　gaze
out　of　the　window　at　the　wet　roofs　and　the　grey　skies。　　I　was　aghast　at
the　idea　of　her　going　to　Ham　now　even　though　he　were　hurt　badly　hurt；　and
yet　I　tried　to　think　it　was　natural；　that　it　was　fine　of　her　to　respond
to　such　a　call。　　And　she　couldn't　very　well　refuse　his　summons。　　But　it
was　not　the　news　of　her　husband's　accident　that　inspired　the　greater
fear；　which　was　quelled　and　soothed　only　to　rise　again　when　I　recalled
the　note　I　had　heard　in　her　voice；　a　note　eloquent　of　tragedyof　tragedy
she　had　foreseen。　　At　length；　unable　to　remain　where　I　was　any　longer；　I
descended　to　the　street　and　walked　uptown　in　the　rain。　　The　Durrett　house
was　closed；　the　blinds　of　its　many　windows　drawn；　but　Nancy　was　watching
for　me　and　opened　the　door。　　So　used　had　I　grown　to　seeing　her　in　the
simple　linen　dresses　she　had　worn　in　the　country；　a　costume　associated
with　exclusive　possession；　that　the　sight　of　her　travelling　suit　and　hat
renewed　in　me　an　agony　of　apprehension。　　The　unforeseen　event　seemed　to
have　transformed　her　once　more。　　Her　veil　was　drawn　up；　her　face　was
pale；　in　her　eyes　were　traces　of　tears。

〃You're　going？〃　I　asked；　as　I　took　her　hands。

〃Hugh；　I　have　to　go。〃

She　led　me　through　the　dark；　shrouded　drawing　room　into　the　little　salon
where　the　windows　were　open　on　the　silent　city…garden。　　I　took　her　in　my
arms；　she　did　not　resist；　as　I　half　expected；　but　clung　to　me　with　what
seemed　desperation。

〃I　have　to　go；　dearyou　won't　make　it　too　hard　for　me！　　It's　only
ordinary　decency；　and　there's　no　one　else　to　go　to　him。〃

She　drew　me　to　the　sofa；　her　eyes　beseeching　me。

〃Listen；　dear；　I　want　you　to　see　it　as　I　see　it。　　I　know　that　you　will；
that　you　do。　　I　should　never　be　able　to　forgive　myself　if　I　stayed　away
now；　Ineither　of　us　could　ever　be　happy　about　it。　　You　do　see；　don't
you？〃　she　implored。

〃Yes；〃　I　admitted　agitatedly。

Her　grasp　on　my　hand　tightened。

〃I　knew　you　would。　　But　it　makes　me　happier　to　hear　you　say　it。〃

We　sat　for　a　moment　in　helpless　silence；　gazing　at　one　another。　　Slowly
her　eyes　had　filled。

〃Have　you　heard　anything　more？〃　I　managed　to　ask。

She　drew　a　telegram　from　her　bag；　as　though　the　movement　were　a　relief。

〃This　is　from　the　doctor　in　Bostonhis　name　is　Magruder。　　They　have　got
Ham　there；　it　seems。　　A　horse　kicked　him　in　the　head；　after　he　fell；he
had　just　recovered　consciousness。〃

I　took　the　telegram。　　The　wordy　seemed　meaningless；　all　save　those　of　the
last　sentence。　　〃The　situation　is　serious；　but　by　no　means　hopeless。〃
Nancy　had　not　spoken　of　that。　　The　ignorant　cruelty　of　its　convention！
The　man　must　have　known　what　Hambleton　Durrett　was！　　Nancy　read　my
thoughts；　and　took　the　paper　from　my　hand。

〃Hugh；　dear；　if　it's　hard　for　you；　try　to　understand　that　it's　terrible
for　me　to　think　that　he　has　any　claim　at　all。　　I　realize　now；　as　I　never
did　before；　how　wicked　it　was　in　me　to　marry　him。　　I　hate　him；　I　can't
bear　the　thought　of　going　near　him。〃

She　fell　into　wild　weeping。　　I　tried　to　comfort　her；　who　could　not
comfort　myself；　I　don't　remember　my　inadequate　words。　　We　were
overwhelmed；　obliterated　by　the　sense　of　calamity。。。。　　It　was　she　who
checked　herself　at　last　by　an　effort　that　was　almost　hysterical。

〃I　mustn't　yield　to　it！〃　she　said。　　〃It's　time　to　leave　and　the　train
goes　at　six。　　No；　you　mustn't　come　to　the　station；　HughI　don't　think　I
could　stand　it。　　I'll　send　you　a　telegram。〃　　She　rose。　　〃You　must　go　now
you　must。〃

〃You'll　come　back　to　me？〃　I　demanded　thickly；　as　I　held　her。

〃Hugh；　I　am　yours；　now　and　always。　　How　can　you　doubt　it？〃

At　last　I　released　her；　when　she　had　begged　me　again。　　And　I　found　myself
a　little　later　walking　past　the　familiar；　empty　houses　of　those
streets。。。。

The　front　pages　of　the　evening　newspapers　announced　the　accident　to
Hambleton　Durrett；　and　added　that　Mrs。　Durrett；　who　had　been　lingering　in
the　city；　had　gone　to　her　husband's　bedside。　　The　morning　papers
contained　more　of　biography　and　ancestry；　but　had　little　to　add　to　the
bulletin；　and　there　was　no　lack　of　speculation　at　the　Club　and　elsewhere
as　to　Ham's　ability　to　rally　from　such　a　shock。　　I　could　not　bear　to
listen　to　these　comments：　they　were　violently　distasteful　to　me。　　The
unforeseen　accident　and　Nancy's　sudden　departure　had　thrown　my　life
completely　out　of　gear：　I　could　not　attend　to　business；　I　dared　not　go
away　lest　the　news　from　Nancy　be　delayed。　　I　spent　the　hours　in　an
exhausting　mental　state　that　alternated　between　hope　and　fear；　a　state　of
unmitigated；　intense　desire；　of　balked　realization；　sometimes　heightening
into　that　sheer　terror　I　had　felt　when　I　had　detected　over　the　telephone
that　note　in　her　voice　that　seemed　of　despair。　　Had　she　had　a
presentiment；　all　along；　that　something　would　occur　to　separate　us？　　As　I
went　back　over　the　hours　we　had　passed　together　since　she　had
acknowledged　her　love；　in　spite　of　myself　the　conviction　grew　on　me　that
she　had　never　believed　in　the　reality　of　our　future。　　Indeed；　she　had
expressed　her　disbelief　in　words。　　Had　she　been　looking　all　along　for　a
signa　sign　of　wrath？　　And　would　she　accept　this　accident　of　Ham's　as
such？

Retrospection　left　me　trembling　and　almost　sick。

It　was　not　until　the　second　morning　after　her　departure　that　I　received　a
telegram　giving　the　name　of　her　Boston　hotel；　and　saying　that　there　was
to　be　a　consultation　that　day；　and　as　soon　as　it　had　taken　place　she
would　write。　　Such　consolation　as　I　could　gather　from　it　was　derived　from
four　words　at　the　end；she　missed　me　dreadfully。　　Some　tremor　of　pity
for　her　entered　into　my　consciousness；　without　mitigating　greatly　the
wildness　of　my　resentment；　of　my　forebodings。

I　could　bear　no　longer　the　city；　the　Club；　the　office；　the　daily　contact
with　my　associates　and　clients。　　Six　hours　distant；　near　Rossiter；　was　a
small　resort　in　the　mountains　of　which　I　had　heard。　　I　telegraphed　Nancy
to　address　me　there；　notified　the　office；　packed　my　bag；　and　waited
impatiently　for　midday；　when　I　boarded　the　train。　　At　seven　I　reached　a
little　station　where　a　stage　was　waiting　to　take　me　to　Callender's　Mill。

It　was　not　until　morning　that　I　beheld　my　retreat；　when　little　wisps　of
vapour　were　straying　over　the　surface　of　the　lake；　and　the　steep　green
slopes　that　rose　out　of　the　water　on　the　western　side　were　still　in
shadow。　　The　hotel；　a　much　overgrown　and　altered　farm…house；　stood；
surrounded　by　great　trees；　in　an　ancient　clearing　that　sloped　gently　to
the　water's　edge；　where　an　old…fashioned；　octagonal　summerhouse
overlooked　a　landing　for　rowboats。　　The　resort；　indeed；　was　a　survival　of
simpler　times。。。。

In　spite　of　the　thirty…odd　guests；　people　of　very　moderate　incomes　who
knew　the　place　and　had　come　here　year　after　year；　I　was　as　much　alone　as
if　I　had　been　the　only　sojourner。　　The　place　was　so　remote；　so　peaceful
in