a far country-第17节

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Never　had　I　been　more　impressed；　more　bewildered　by　his　self…command　than
at　that　time。　　Save　for　the　fact　that　my　mother　talked　less　than　usual；
supper　passed　as　though　nothing　had　happened。　　Whether　I　had　shaken　him；
disappointed　him；　or　gained　his　reluctant　approval　I　could　not　tell。
Gradually　his　outward　calmness　turned　my　suspense　to　irritation。。。。

But　when　at　length　we　were　alone　together；　I　gained　a　certain
reassurance。　　His　manner　was　not　severe。　　He　hesitated　a　little　before
beginning。

〃I　must　confess；　Hugh；　that　I　scarcely　know　what　to　say　about　this
proceeding　of　yours。　　The　thing　that　strikes　me　most　forcibly　is　that　you
might　have　confided　in　your　mother　and　myself。〃

Hope　flashed　up　within　me；　like　an　explosion。

〃II　wanted　to　surprise　you；　father。　　And　then；　you　see；　I　thought　it
would　be　wiser　to　find　out　first　how　well　I　was　likely　to　do　at　the
examinations。〃

My　father　looked　at　me。　　Unfortunately　he　possessed　neither　a　sense　of
humour　nor　a　sense　of　tragedy　sufficient　to　meet　such　a　situation。　　For
the　first　time　in　my　life　I　beheld　him　at　a　disadvantage；　for　I　had；
somehow；　managed　at　length　to　force　him　out　of　position；　and　he　was
puzzled。　　I　was　quick　to　play　my　trump　card。

〃I　have　been　thinking　it　over　carefully；〃　I　told　him；　〃and　I　have　made　up
my　mind　that　I　want　to　go　into　the　law。〃

〃The　law！〃　he　exclaimed　sharply。

〃Why；　yes；　sir。　　I　know　that　you　were　disappointed　because　I　did　not　do
sufficiently　well　at　school　to　go　to　college　and　study　for　the　bar。〃

I　felt　indeed　a　momentary　pang；　but　I　remembered　that　I　was　fighting　for
my　freedom。

〃You　seemed　satisfied　where　you　were；〃　he　said　in　a　puzzled　voice；　〃and
your　Cousin　Robert　gives　a　good　account　of　you。〃

〃I've　tried　to　do　the　work　as　well　as　I　could；　sir；〃　I　replied。　　〃But　I
don't　like　the　grocery　business；　or　any　other　business。　　I　have　a　feeling
that　I'm　not　made　for　it。〃

〃And　you　think；　now；　that　you　are　made　for　the　law？〃　　he　asked；　with　the
faint　hint　of　a　smile。

〃Yes；　sir；　I　believe　I　could　succeed　at　it。　　I'd　like　to　try；〃　I　replied
modestly。

〃You've　given　up　the　idiotic　notion　of　wishing　to　be　an　author？〃

I　implied　that　he　himself　had　convinced　me　of　the　futility　of　such　a
wish。　　I　listened　to　his　next　words　as　in　a　dream。

〃I　must　confess　to　you；　Hugh；　that　there　are　times　when　I　fail　to
understand　you。　　I　hope　it　is　as　you　say；　that　you　have　arrived　at　a
settled　conviction　as　to　your　future；　and　that　this　is　not　another　of
those　caprices　to　which　you　have　been　subject；　nor　a　desire　to　shirk
honest　work。　　Mr。　Wood　has　made　out　a　strong　case　for　you；　and　I　have
therefore　determined　to　give　you　a　trial。　　If　you　pass　the　examinations
with　credit；　you　may　go　to　college；　but　if　at　any　time　you　fail　to　make
good　progress；　you　come　home；　and　go　into　business　again。　　Is　that
thoroughly　understood？〃

I　said　it　was；　and　thanked　him　effusively。。。。　　I　had　escaped；the　prison
doors　had　flown　open。　　But　it　is　written　that　every　happiness　has　its
sting；　and　my　joy；　intense　though　it　was；　had　in　it　a　core　of　remorse。。。。

I　went　downstairs　to　my　mother；　who　was　sitting　in　the　hall　by　the　open
door。

〃Father　says　I　may　go！〃　I　said。

She　got　up　and　took　me　in　her　arms。

〃My　dear；　I　am　so　glad；　although　we　shall　miss　you　dreadfully。。。。　　Hugh？〃

〃Yes；　mother。〃

〃Oh；　Hugh；　I　so　want　you　to　be　a　good　man！〃

Her　cry　was　a　little　incoherent；　but　fraught　with　a　meaning　that　came
home　to　me；　in　spite　of　myself。。。。

A　while　later　I　ran　over　to　announce　to　the　amazed　Tom　Peters　that　I　was
actually　going　to　Harvard　with　him。　　He　stood　in　the　half…lighted
hallway；　his　hands　in　his　pockets；　blinking　at　me。

〃Hugh；　you're　a　wonder！〃　he　cried。　　〃How　in　Jehoshaphat　did　you　work
it？〃。。。

I　lay　long　awake　that　night　thinking　over　the　momentous　change　so　soon　to
come　into　my　life；　wondering　exultantly　what　Nancy　Willett　would　say　now。
I　was　not　one；　at　any　rate；　to　be　despised　or　neglected。




VI。

The　following　September　Tom　Peters　and　I　went　East　together。　　In　the
early　morning　Boston　broke　on　us　like　a　Mecca　as　we　rolled　out　of　the　old
Albany　station；　joint　lords　of　a　〃herdic。〃　　How　sharply　the　smell　of　the
salt…laden　east　wind　and　its　penetrating　coolness　come　back　to　me！　　I
seek　in　vain　for　words　to　express　the　exhilarating　effect　of　that　briny
coolness　on　my　imagination；　and　of　the　visions　it　summoned　up　of　the
newer；　larger　life　into　which　I　had　marvellously　been　transported。　　We
alighted　at　the　Parker　House；　full…fledged　men　of　the　world；　and　tried　to
act　as　though　the　breakfast　of　which　we　partook　were　merely　an　incident；
not　an　Event；　as　though　we　were　Seniors；　and　not　freshmen；　assuming　an
indifference　to　the　beings　by　whom　we　were　surrounded　and　who　were
breakfasting；　too；although　the　nice…looking　ones　with　fresh　faces　and
trim　clothes　were　all　undoubtedly　Olympians。　　The　better　to　proclaim　our
nonchalance；　we　seated　ourselves　on　a　lounge　of　the　marble…paved　lobby
and　smoked　cigarettes。　　This　was　liberty　indeed！　　At　length　we　departed
for　Cambridge；　in　another　herdic。

Boston！　　Could　it　be　possible？　　Everything　was　so　different　here　as　to
give　the　place　the　aspect　of　a　dream：　the　Bulfinch　State　House；　the
decorous　shops；　the　still　more　decorous　dwellings　with　the　purple…paned
windows　facing　the　Common；　Back　Bay；　still　boarded　up；　ivy…spread；
suggestive　of　a　mysterious　and　delectable　existence。　　We　crossed　the
Charles　River；　blue…grey　and　still　that　morning；　traversed　a　nondescript
district；　and　at　last　found　ourselves　gazing　out　of　the　windows　at　the
mellowed；　plum…coloured　bricks　of　the　University　buildings。。。。　　All　at
once　our　exhilaration　evaporated　as　the　herdic　rumbled　into　a　side　street
and　backed　up　before　the　door　of　a　not…too…inviting；　three…storied　house
with　a　queer　extension　on　top。　　Its　steps　and　vestibule　were；　however；
immaculate。　　The　bell　was　answered　by　a　plainly　overworked　servant　girl；
of　whom　we　inquired　for　Mrs。　Bolton；　our　landlady。　　There　followed　a
period　of　waiting　in　a　parlour　from　which　the　light　had　been　almost
wholly　banished；　with　slippery　horsehair　furniture　and　a　marble…topped
table；　and　Mrs。　Bolton；　when　she　appeared；　dressed　in　rusty　black；
harmonized　perfectly　with　the　funereal　gloom。　　She　was　a　tall；　rawboned；
severe　lady　with　a　peculiar　red…mottled　complexion　that　somehow　reminded
one　of　the　outcropping　rocks　of　her　native　New　England　soil。

〃You　want　to　see　your　rooms；　I　suppose；〃　she　remarked　impassively　when　we
had　introduced　ourselves；　and　as　we　mounted　the　stairs　behind　her　Tom；　in
a　whisper；　nicknamed　her　〃Granite　Face。〃　　Presently　she　left　us。

〃Hospitable　soul！〃　said　Tom；　who；　with　his　hands　in　his　pockets；　was
gazing　at　the　bare　walls　of　our　sitting…room。　　〃We'll　have　to　go　into　the
house…furnishing　business；　Hughie。　　I　vote　we　don't　linger　here　to…day
we'll　get　melancholia。〃

Outside；　however；　the　sun　was　shining　brightly；　and　we　departed
immediately　to　explore　Cambridge　and　announce　our　important　presences　to
the　proper　authorities。。。。　　We　went　into　Boston　to　dine。。。。　　It　was　not
until　nine　o'clock　in　the　evening　that　we　returned　and　the　bottom
suddenly　dropped　out　of　things。　　He　who　has　tasted　that　first；　acute
homesickness　of　college　will　know　what　I　mean。　　It　usually　comes　at　the
opening　of　one's　trunk。　　The　sight　of　the　top　tray　gave　me　a　pang　I　shall
never　forget。　　I　would　not　have　believed　that　I　loved　my　mother　so　much！
These　articles　had　been　packed　by　her　hands；　and　in　one　corner；　among　the
underclothes　on　which　she　had　neatly　sewed　my　initials；　lay　the　new　Bible
she　had　bought。　　〃Hugh　Moreton　Paret；　from　his　Mother。　　September；　1881。〃
I　took　it　up　（Tom　was　not　looking）　and　tried　to　read　a　passage；　but　my
eyes　were　blurred。　　What　was　it　within　me　that　pressed　and　pressed　until
I　thought　I　could　bear　the　pain　of　it　no　longer？　　I　pictured　the　sitting…
room　at　home；　and　my　father　and　mother　there；　thinking　of　me。　　Yes；　I
must　acknowledge　it；　in　the　bitterness　of　that　moment　I　longed　to　be　back
once　more　in　the　railed…off　space　on　the　floor　of　Breck　and　Company；
writing　invoices。。。。

Presently；　as　we　went　on　silently　with　our　unpacking；　we　became　aware　of
someone　in　the　doorway。

〃Hello；　you　fellows！〃　he　cried。　　〃We're　classmates；　I　guess。〃

We　turned　to　behold　an　ungainly　young　man　in　an　ill…fitting　blue　suit。
His　face　was　pimply；　his　eyes　a　Teutonic　blue；　his　yellow　hair　rumpled；
his　naturally　large　mouth　was　made　larger　by　a　friendly　grin。

〃I'm　Hermann　Krebs；〃　he　announced　simply。　　〃Who　are　you？〃

We　replied；　I　regret　to　say；　with　a　distinct　coolness　that　did　not　seem
to　bother　him　in　the　least。　　He　advanced　into　the　room；　holding　out　a
large；　red；　and　serviceable　hand；　evidently　it　had　never　dawned　on　him
that　there　was　such　a　thing　in　the　world　as　snobbery。　　But　Tom　and　I　had
been　〃coached〃　by　Ralph　Hambleton　and　Perry　Blackwood；　warned　to　be
careful　of　our　friendships。　　There　was　a　Reason！　　In　any　case　Mr。　Krebs
would　not　have　appealed　to　us。　　In　answer　to　a　second　question　he　was
informed　what　city　we　hailed　from；　and　he　proclaimed　himself　likewise　a
native　of　our　state。

〃Why；　I'm　from　Elkington！〃　he　exclaimed；　as　thoug