a far country-第101节

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God　is　far　away。〃

〃Andwe　shall　turn？〃　I　asked。

〃We　shall　turn　or　perish。　　I　believe　that　we　shall　turn。〃　　He　fixed　his
eyes　on　my　face。　　〃What　is　it；〃　he　asked；　〃that　brought　you　here　to　me；
to…day？〃

I　was　silent。

〃The　motive；　Paretthe　motive　that　sends　us　all　wandering　into　　is
divine；　is　inherited　from　God　himself。　　And　the　same　motive；　after　our
eyes　shall　have　been　opened；　after　we　shall　have　seen　and　known　the
tragedy　and　misery　of　life；　after　we　shall　have　made　the　mistakes　and
committed　the　sins　and　experienced　the　emptinessthe　same　motive　will
lead　us　back　again。　　That；　too；　is　an　adventure；　the　greatest　adventure
of　all。　　Because；　when　we　go　back　we　shall　not　find　the　same　Godor
rather　we　shall　recognize　him　in　ourselves。　　Autonomy　is　godliness；
knowledge　is　godliness。　　We　went　away　cringing；　superstitious；　we　saw
everywhere　omens　and　evidences　of　his　wrath　in　the　earth　and　sea　and　sky；
we　burned　candles　and　sacrificed　animals　in　the　vain　hope　of　averting
scourges　and　other　calamities。　　But　when　we　come　back　it　will　be　with　a
knowledge　of　his　ways；　gained　at　a　price；the　price　he；　too；　must　have
paidand　we　shall　be　able　to　stand　up　and　look　him　in　the　face；　and　all
our　childish　superstitions　and　optimisms　shall　have　been　burned　away。〃

Some　faith　indeed　had　given　him　strength　to　renounce　those　things　in　life
I　had　held　dear；　driven　him　on　to　fight　until　his　exhausted　body　failed
him；　and　even　now　that　he　was　physically　helpless　sustained　him。　　I　did
not　ask　myself；　then；　the　nature　of　this　faith。　　In　its　presence　it　could
no　more　be　questioned　than　the　light。　　It　was　light；　I　felt　bathed　in　it。
Now　it　was　soft；　suffused：　but　I　remembered　how　the　night　before　in　the
hall；　just　before　he　had　fallen；　it　had　flashed　forth　in　a　smile　and
illumined　my　soul　with　an　ecstasy　that　yet　was　anguish。。。。

〃We　shall　get　back；〃　I　said　at　length。　　My　remark　was　not　a　questionit
had　escaped　from　me　almost　unawares。

〃The　joy　is　in　the　journey；〃　he　answered。　　〃The　secret　is　in　the　search。〃

〃But　for　me？〃　I　exclaimed。

〃We've　all　been　lost；　Paret。　　It　would　seem　as　though　we　have　to　be。〃

〃And　yet　you　aresaved；〃　I　said；　hesitating　over　the　word。

〃It　is　true　that　I　am　content；　even　happy；〃　he　asserted；　〃in　spite　of　my
wish　to　live。　　If　there　is　any　secret；　it　lies；　I　think；　in　the　struggle
for　an　open　mind；　in　the　keeping　alive　of　a　desire　to　know　more　and　more。
That　desire；　strangely　enough；　hasn't　lost　its　strength。　　We　don't　know
whether　there　is　a　future　life；　but　if　there　is；　I　think　it　must　be　a
continuation　of　this。〃　　He　paused。　　〃I　told　you　I　was　glad　you　came　in
I've　been　thinking　of　you；　and　I　saw　you　in　the　hall　last　night。　　You　ask
what　there　is　for　youI'll　tell　you；the　new　generation。〃

〃The　new　generation。〃

〃That's　the　task　of　every　man　and　woman　who　wakes　up。　　I've　come　to　see
how　little　can　be　done　for　the　great　majority　of　those　who　have　reached
our　age。　　It's　hardbut　it's　true。　　Superstition；　sentiment；　the　habit
of　wrong　thinking　or　of　not　thinking　at　all　have　struck　in　too　deep；　the
habit　of　unreasoning　acceptance　of　authority　is　too　paralyzing。　　Some　may
be　stung　back　into　life；　spurred　on　to　find　out　what　the　world　really　is；
but　not　many。　　The　hope　lies　in　those　who　are　coming　after　uswe　must　do
for　them　what　wasn't　done　for　us。　　We　really　didn't　have　much　of　a
chance；　Paret。　　What　did　our　instructors　at　Harvard　know　about　the　age
that　was　dawning？　what　did　anybody　know？　　You　can　educate　yourselfor
rather　reeducate　yourself。　　All　this〃and　he　waved　his　hand　towards　his
bookshelves〃all　this　has　sprung　up　since　you　and　I　were　at　Cambridge；
if　we　don't　try　to　become　familiar　with　it；　if　we　fail　to　grasp　the　point
of　view　from　which　it's　written；　there's　little　hope　for　us。　　Go　away
from　all　this　and　get　straightened　out；　make　yourself　acquainted　with　the
modern　trend　in　literature　and　criticism；　with　modern　history；　find　out
what's　being　done　in　the　field　of　education；　read　the　modern　sciences；
especially　biology；　and　psychology　and　sociology；　and　try　to　get　a
glimpse　of　the　fundamental　human　needs　underlying　such　phenomena　as　the
labour　and　woman's　movements。　　God　knows　I've　just　begun　to　get　my
glimpse；　and　I've　floundered　around　ever　since　I　left　college。。。。　　I
don't　mean　to　say　we　can　ever　see　the　whole；　but　we　can　get　a　clew；　an
idea；　and　pass　it　on　to　our　children。　　You　have　children；　haven't　you？〃

〃Yes；〃　I　said。。。。

He　said　nothinghe　seemed　to　be　looking　out　of　the　window。

〃Then　the　scientific　point　of　view　in　your　opinion　hasn't　done　away　with
religion？〃　I　asked　presently。

〃The　scientific　point　of　view　is　the　religious　point　of　view；〃　he　said
earnestly；　〃because　it's　the　only　self…respecting　point　of　view。　　I　can't
believe　that　God　intended　to　make　a　creature　who　would　not　ultimately
weigh　his　beliefs　with　his　reason　instead　of　accepting　them　blindly。
That's　immoral；　if　you　likeespecially　in　these　days。〃

〃And　are　there；　then；　no　'over…beliefs'？〃　I　said；　remembering　the
expression　in　something　I　had　read。

〃That　seems　to　me　a　relic　of　the　method　of　ancient　science；　which　was
upside　down；a　mere　confusion　with　faith。　　Faith　and　belief　are　two
different　things；　faith　is　the　emotion；　the　steam；　if　you　like；　that
drives　us　on　in　our　search　for　truth。　　Theories；　at　a　stretch；　might　be
identified　with　'over…beliefs'　but　when　it　comes　to　confusing　our
theories　with　facts；　instead　of　recognizing　them　as　theories；　when　it
comes　to　living　by　'over…beliefs'　that　have　no　basis　in　reason　and
observed　facts；that　is　fatal。　　It's　just　the　trouble　with　so　much　of
our　electorate　to…dayunreasoning　acceptance　without　thought。〃

〃Then；〃　I　said；　〃you　admit　of　no　other　faculty　than　reason？〃

〃I　confess　that　I　don't。　　A　great　many　insights　that　we　seem　to　get　from
what　we　call　intuition　I　think　are　due　to　the　reason；　which　is
unconsciously　at　work。　　If　there　were　another　faculty　that　equalled　or
transcended　reason；　it　seems　to　me　it　would　be　a　very　dangerous　thing　for
the　world's　progress。　　We'd　come　to　rely　on　it　rather　than　on　ourselves
the　trouble　with　the　world　is　that　it　has　been　relying　on　it。　　Reason　is
the　mindit　leaps　to　the　stars　without　realizing　always　how　it　gets
there。　　It　is　through　reason　we　get　the　self…reliance　that　redeems　us。〃

〃But　you！〃　I　exclaimed。　　〃You　rely　on　something　else　besides　reason？〃

〃Yes；　it　is　true；〃　he　explained　gently；　〃but　that　Thing　Other…than…
Ourselves　we　feel　stirring　in　us　is　power；　and　that　power；　or　the　Source
of　it；　seems　to　have　given　us　our　reason　for　guidanceif　it　were　not　so
we　shouldn't　have　a　semblance　of　freedom。　　For　there　is　neither　virtue
nor　development　in　finding　the　path　if　we　are　guided。　　We　do　rely　on　that
power　for　movementand　in　the　moments　when　it　is　withdrawn　we　are
helpless。　　Both　the　power　and　the　reason　are　God's。〃

〃But　the　Church；〃　I　was　moved　by　some　untraced　thought　to　ask；　〃you
believe　there　is　a　future　for　the　Church？〃

〃A　church　of　all　those　who　disseminate　truth；　foster　open…mindedness；
serve　humanity　and　radiate　faith；〃　he　repliedbut　as　though　he　were
speaking　to　himself；　not　to　me。。。。

A　few　moments　later　there　was　a　knock　at　the　door；　and　the　woman　of　the
house　entered　to　say　that　Dr。　Hepburn　had　arrived。　　I　rose　and　shook
Krebs's　hand：　sheer　inability　to　express　my　emotion　drove　me　to
commonplaces。

〃I'll　come　in　soon　again；　if　I　may；〃　I　told　him。

〃Do；　Paret；〃　he　said；　〃it's　done　me　good　to　talk　to　youmore　good　than
you　imagine。〃

I　was　unable　to　answer　him；　but　I　glanced　back　from　the　doorway　to　see
him　smiling　after　me。　　On　my　way　down　the　stairs　I　bumped　into　the　doctor
as　he　ascended。　　The　dingy　brown　parlour　was　filled　with　men；　standing　in
groups　and　talking　in　subdued　voices。　　I　hurried　into　the　street；　and　on
the　sidewalk　stopped　face　to　face　with　Perry　Blackwood。

〃Hugh！〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃What　are　you　doing　here？〃

〃I　came　to　inquire　for　Krebs；〃　I　answered。　　〃I've　seen　him。〃

〃Youyou've　been　talking　to　him？〃　Perry　demanded。

I　nodded。　　He　stared　at　me　for　a　moment　with　an　astonishment　to　which　I
was　wholly　indifferent。　　He　did　not　seem　to　know　just　how　to　act。

〃Well；　it　was　decent　of　you；　Hugh；　I　must　say。　　How　does　he　seem？〃

〃Not　at　all　likelike　what　you'd　expect；　in　his　manner。〃

〃No；〃　agreed　Perry　agitatedly；　〃no；　he　wouldn't。　　My　God；　we've　lost　a
big　man　in　him。〃

〃I　think　we　have；〃　I　said。

He　stared　at　me　again；　gave　me　his　hand　awkwardly；　and　went　into　the
house。　　It　was　not　until　I　had　walked　the　length　of　the　block　that　I
began　to　realize　what　a　shock　my　presence　there　must　have　been　to　him；
with　his　head　full　of　the　contrast　between　this　visit　and　my　former
attitude。　　Could　it　be　that　it　was　only　the　night　before　I　had　made　a
speech　against　him　and　his　associates？　　It　is　interesting　that　my　mind
rejected　all　sense　of　anomaly　and　inconsistency。　　Krebs　possessed　me；　I
must　have　been　in　reality　extremely　agitated；　but　this　sense　of　being
possessed　seemed　a　quiet　one。　　An　amazing　thing　had　happenedand　yet　I
was　not　amazed。　　The　Krebs　I　had　seen　was　the　man　I　had　known　for　many
years；　the　man　I　had　ridiculed；　despised　and　oppressed；　but　it　seemed　to
me　then　that　he　ha