a far country-第100节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


Krebs　was　a　remarkable　man。〃

〃Nineteen　twenty…six　Fowler　Street？〃　I　repeated。

〃Yes。〃

I　held　out　my　hand　mechanically；　and　he　pressed　it；　and　went　with　me　to
the　door。

〃Nineteen　twenty…six　Fowler　Street；〃　he　repeated。。。

The　mean　and　sordid　aspect　of　Fowler　Street　emphasized　and　seemed　to
typify　my　despair；　the　pungent　coal　smoke　stifled　my　lungs　even　as　it
stifled　my　spirit。　　Ugly　factories；　which　were　little　more　than
sweatshops；　wore　an　empty；　menacing；　〃Sunday〃　look；　and　the　faint
November　sunlight　glistened　on　dirty　pavements　where　children　were　making
a　semblance　of　play。　　Monotonous　rows　of　red　houses　succeeded　one
another；　some　pushed　forward；　others　thrust　back　behind　little　plots　of
stamped　earth。　　Into　one　of　these　I　turned。　　It　seemed　a　little　cleaner；
better　kept；　less　sordid　than　the　others。　　I　pulled　the　bell；　and
presently　the　door　was　opened　by　a　woman　whose　arms　were　bare　to　the
elbow。　　She　wore　a　blue…checked　calico　apron　that　came　to　her　throat；　but
the　apron　was　clean；　and　her　firm　though　furrowed　face　gave　evidences　of
recent　housewifely　exertions。　　Her　eyes　had　the　strange　look　of　the
cheerfulness　that　is　intimately　acquainted　with　sorrow。　　She　did　not　seem
surprised　at　seeing　me。

〃I　have　come　to　ask　about　Mr。　Krebs；〃　I　told　her。

〃Oh；　yes；〃　she　said；　〃there's　been　so　many　here　this　morning　already。
It's　wonderful　how　people　love　him；　all　kinds　of　people。　　No；　sir；　he
don't　seem　to　be　in　any　pain。　　Two　gentlemen　are　up　there　now　in　his
room；　I　mean。〃

She　wiped　her　arms；　which　still　bore　traces　of　soap…suds；　and　then；　with
a　gesture　natural　and　unashamed；　lifted　the　corner　of　her　apron　to　her
eyes。

〃Do　you　think　I　could　see　himfor　a　moment？〃　I　asked。　　〃I've　known　him
for　a　long　time。〃

〃Why；　I　don't　know；〃　she　said；　〃I　guess　so。　　The　doctor　said　he　could　see
some；　and　he　wants　to　see　his　friends。　　That's　not　strangehe　always
did。　　I'll　ask。　　Will　you　tell　me　your　name？〃

I　took　out　a　card。　　She　held　it　without　glancing　at　it；　and　invited　me
in。

I　waited；　unnerved　and　feverish；　pulsing；　in　the　dark　and　narrow　hall
beside　the　flimsy　rack　where　several　coats　and　hats　were　hung。　　Once
before　I　had　visited　Krebs　in　that　lodging…house　in　Cambridge　long　ago
with　something　of　the　same　feelings。　　But　now　they　were　greatly
intensified。　　Now　he　was　dying。。。。

The　woman　was　descending。

〃He　says　he　wants　to　see　you；　sir；〃　she　said　rather　breathlessly；　and　I
followed　her。　　In　the　semi…darkness　of　the　stairs　I　passed　the　three　men
who　had　been　with　Krebs；　and　when　I　reached　the　open　door　of　his　room　he
was　alone。　　I　hesitated　just　a　second；　swept　by　the　heat　wave　that
follows　sudden　shyness；　embarrassment；　a　sense　of　folly　it　is　too　late　to
avert。

Krebs　was　propped　up　with　pillows。

〃Well；　this　is　good　of　you；〃　he　said；　and　reached　out　his　hand　across　the
spread。　　I　took　it；　and　sat　down　beside　the　shiny　oak　bedstead；　in　a
chair　covered　with　tobacco…colored　plush。

〃You　feel　better？〃　I　asked。

〃Oh；　I　feel　all　right；〃　he　answered；　with　a　smile。　　〃It's　queer；　but　I
do。〃

My　eye　fell　upon　the　long　line　of　sectional　book…cases　that　lined　one
side　of　the　room。　　〃Why；　you've　got　quite　a　library　here；〃　I　observed。

〃Yes；　I've　managed　to　get　together　some　good　books。　　But　there　is　so　much
to　read　nowadays；　so　much　that　is　really　good　and　new；　a　man　has　the
hopeless　feeling　he　can　never　catch　up　with　it　all。　　A　thousand　writers
and　students　are　making　contributions　today　where　fifty　years　ago　there
was　one。〃

〃I've　been　following　your　speeches；　after　a　fashion；I　wish　I　might　have
been　able　to　read　more　of　them。　　Your　argument　interested　me。　　It's　new；
unlike　the　ordinary　propaganda　of〃

〃Of　agitators；〃　he　supplied；　with　a　smile。

〃Of　agitators；〃　I　agreed；　and　tried　to　return　his　smile。　　〃An　agitator
who　appears　to　suggest　the　foundations　of　a　constructive　programme　and
who　isn't　afraid　to　criticise　the　man　with　a　vote　as　well　as　the
capitalist　is　an　unusual　phenomenon。〃

〃Oh；　when　we　realize　that　we've　only　got　a　little　time　left　in　which　to
tell　what　we　think　to　be　the　truth；　it　doesn't　require　a　great　deal　of
courage；　Paret。　　I　didn't　begin　to　see　this　thing　until　a　little　while
ago。　　I　was　only　a　crude；　hot…headed　revolutionist。　　God　knows　I'm　crude
enough　still。　　But　I　began　to　have　a　glimmering　of　what　all　these　new
fellows　in　the　universities　are　driving　at。〃　　He　waved　his　hand　towards
the　book…cases。　　〃Driving　at　collectively；　I　mean。　　And　there　are
attempts；　worthy　attempts；　to　coordinate　and　synthesize　the　sciences。
What　I　have　been　saying　is　not　strictly　original。　　I　took　it　on　the
stump；　that's　all。　　I　didn't　expect　it　to　have　much　effect　in　this
campaign；　but　it　was　an　opportunity　to　sow　a　few　seeds；　to　start　a　sense
of　personal　dissatisfaction　in　the　minds　of　a　few　voters。　　What　is　it
Browning　says？　　It's　in　Bishop　Blougram；　I　believe。　　'When　the　fight
begins　within　himself；　a　man's　worth　something。'　It's　an　intellectual
fight；　of　course。〃

His　words　were　spoken　quietly；　but　I　realized　suddenly　that　the
mysterious　force　which　had　drawn　me　to　him　now；　against　my　will；　was　an
intellectual　rather　than　apparently　sentimental　one；　an　intellectual
force　seeming　to　comprise　within　it　all　other　human　attractions。　　And　yet
I　felt　a　sudden　contrition。

〃See　here；　Krebs；〃　I　said；　〃I　didn't　come　here　to　bother　you　about　these
matters；　to　tire　you。　　I　mustn't　stay。　　I'll　call　in　again　to　see　how　you
arefrom　time　to　time。〃

〃But　you're　not　tiring　me；〃　he　protested；　stretching　forth　a　thin；
detaining　hand。　　〃I　don't　want　to　rot；　I　want　to　live　and　think　as　long
as　I　can。　　To　tell　you　the　truth；　Paret；　I've　been　wishing　to　talk　to
youI'm　glad　you　came　in。〃

〃You've　been　wishing　to　talk　to　me？〃　I　said。

〃Yes；　but　I　didn't　expect　you'd　come　in。　　I　hope　you　won't　mind　my　saying
so；　under　the　circumstances；　but　I've　always　rather　liked　you；　admired
you；　even　back　in　the　Cambridge　days。　　After　that　I　used　to　blame　you　for
going　out　and　taking　what　you　wanted；　and　I　had　to　live　a　good　many　years
before　I　began　to　see　that　it's　better　for　a　man　to　take　what　he　wants
than　to　take　nothing　at　all。　　I　took　what　I　wanted；　every　man　worth　his
salt　does。　　There's　your　great　banker　friend　in　New　York　whom　I　used　to
think　was　the　arch…fiend。　　He　took　what　he　wanted；　and　he　took　a　good
deal；　but　it　happened　to　be　good　for　him。　　And　by　piling　up　his
corporations；　Ossa　on　Pelion；　he　is　paving　the　way　for　a　logical　economic
evolution。　　How　can　a　man　in　our　time　find　out　what　he　does　want　unless
he　takes　something　and　gives　it　a　trial？〃

〃Until　he　begins　to　feel　that　it　disagrees　with　him；〃　I　said。　〃But　then；〃
I　added　involuntarily；　〃then　it　may　be　too　late　to　try　something　else；
and　he　may　not　know　what　to　try。〃　　This　remark　of　mine　might　have
surprised　me　had　it　not　been　for　the　feelingnow　grown　definitethat
Krebs　had　something　to　give　me；　something　to　pass　on　to　me；　of　all　men。
Indeed；　he　had　hinted　as　much；　when　he　acknowledged　a　wish　to　talk　to　me。
〃What　seems　so　strange；〃　I　said；　as　I　looked　at　him　lying　back　on　his
pillows；　〃is　your　faith　that　we　shall　be　able　to　bring　order　out　of　all
this　chaosyour　belief　in　Democracy。〃

〃Democracy's　an　adventure；〃　he　replied；　〃the　great　adventure　of　mankind。
I　think　the　trouble　in　many　minds　lies　in　the　fact　that　they　persist　in
regarding　it　as　something　to　be　made　safe。　　All　that　can　be　done　is　to
try　to　make　it　as　safe　as　possible。　　But　no　adventure　is　safelife
itself　is　an　adventure；　and　neither　is　that　safe。　　It's　a　hazard；　as　you
and　I　have　found　out。　　The　moment　we　try　to　make　life　safe　we　lose　all
there　is　in　it　worth　while。〃

I　thought　a　moment。

〃Yes；　that's　so；〃　I　agreed。　　On　the　table　beside　the　bed　in　company　with
two　or　three　other　volumes；　lay　a　Bible。　　He　seemed　to　notice　that　my　eye
fell　upon　it。

〃Do　you　remember　the　story　of　the　Prodigal　Son？〃　he　asked。　　〃Well；　that's
the　parable　of　democracy；　of　self…government　in　the　individual　and　in
society。　　In　order　to　arrive　at　salvation；　Paret；　most　of　us　have　to　take
our　journey　into　a　far　country。〃

〃A　far　country！〃　　I　exclaimed。　　The　words　struck　a　reminiscent　chord。

〃We　have　to　leave　what　seem　the　safe　things；　we　have　to　wander　and　suffer
in　order　to　realize　that　the　only　true　safety　lies　in　development。　　We
have　first　to　cast　off　the　leading　strings　of　authority。　　It's　a　delusion
that　we　can　insure　ourselves　by　remaining　within　its　wallswe　have　to
risk　our　lives　and　our　souls。　　It　is　discouraging　when　we　look　around　us
to…day；　and　in　a　way　the　pessimists　are　right　when　they　say　we　don't　see
democracy。　　We　see　only　what　may　be　called　the　first　stage　of　it；　for
democracy　is　still　in　a　far　country　eating　the　husks　of　individualism；
materialism。　　What　we　see　is　not　true　freedom；　but　freedom　run　to　riot；
men　struggling　for　themselves；　spending　on　themselves　the　fruits　of　their
inheritance；　we　see　a　government　intent　on　one　object　aloneexploitation
of　this　inheritance　in　order　to　achieve　what　it　calls　prosperity。　　And
God　is　far　away。〃

〃Andwe　shall　turn？〃　I　asked。

〃We　shall　turn　or　perish。　　I　believe　that　we　shall　turn。〃　　He　fixed　his
eyes　on　my　face。　　〃What　is　it；〃