the moon and sixpence(月球和六便士)-第31节
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and the comfortable ease of a well…provided establishment for what she
could not but see was an extreme hazard。 It showed an eagerness for
adventure； a readiness for the hand…to…mouth； which the care she took of
her home and her love of good housewifery made not a little remarkable。
She must be a woman of complicated character； and there was something
dramatic in the contrast of that with her demure appearance。
I was excited by the encounter； and my fancy worked busily while I
sought to concentrate myself on the game I was playing。 I always tried my
best to beat Strickland； because he was a player who despised the
opponent he vanquished； his exultation in victory made defeat more
difficult to bear。 On the other hand； if he was beaten he took it with
complete good…humour。 He was a bad winner and a good loser。 Those
who think that a man betrays his character nowhere more clearly than
when he is playing a game might on this draw subtle inferences。
When he had finished I called the waiter to pay for the drinks； and left
them。 The meeting had been devoid of incident。 No word had been
said to give me anything to think about； and any surmises I might make
were unwarranted。 I was intrigued。 I could not tell how they were getting
on。 I would have given much to be a disembodied spirit so that I could see
them in the privacy of the studio and hear what they talked about。 I had
not the smallest indication on which to let my imagination work。
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The Moon and Sixpence
Chapter XXXIII
Two or three days later Dirk Stroeve called on me。
〃I hear you've seen Blanche；〃 he said。
〃How on earth did you find out？〃
〃I was told by someone who saw you sitting with them。 Why didn't
you tell me？〃
〃I thought it would only pain you。〃
〃What do I care if it does？ You must know that I want to hear the
smallest thing about her。〃
I waited for him to ask me questions。
〃What does she look like？〃 he said。
〃Absolutely unchanged。〃
〃Does she seem happy？〃
I shrugged my shoulders。
〃How can I tell？ We were in a cafe； we were playing chess； I had no
opportunity to speak to her。〃
〃Oh； but couldn't you tell by her face？〃
I shook my head。 I could only repeat that by no word； by no hinted
gesture； had she given an indication of her feelings。 He must know better
than I how great were her powers of self…control。 He clasped his hands
emotionally。
〃Oh； I'm so frightened。 I know something is going to happen；
something terrible； and I can do nothing to stop it。〃
〃What sort of thing？〃 I asked。
〃Oh； I don't know；〃 he moaned； seizing his head with his hands。 〃I
foresee some terrible catastrophe。〃
Stroeve had always been excitable； but now he was beside himself；
there was no reasoning with him。 I thought it probable enough that
Blanche Stroeve would not continue to find life with Strickland tolerable；
but one of the falsest of proverbs is that you must lie on the bed that you
have made。 The experience of life shows that people are constantly doing
things which must lead to disaster； and yet by some chance manage to
evade the result of their folly。 When Blanche quarrelled with Strickland
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The Moon and Sixpence
she had only to leave him； and her husband was waiting humbly to forgive
and forget。 I was not prepared to feel any great sympathy for her。
〃You see； you don't love her；〃 said Stroeve。
〃After all； there's nothing to prove that she is unhappy。 For all we
know they may have settled down into a most domestic couple。〃
Stroeve gave me a look with his woeful eyes。
〃Of course it doesn't much matter to you； but to me it's so serious； so
intensely serious。〃
I was sorry if I had seemed impatient or flippant。
〃Will you do something for me？〃 asked Stroeve。
〃Willingly。〃
〃Will you write to Blanche for me？〃
〃Why can't you write yourself？〃
〃I've written over and over again。 I didn't expect her to answer。 I
don't think she reads the letters。〃
〃You make no account of feminine curiosity。 Do you think she could
resist？〃
〃She could mine。〃
I looked at him quickly。 He lowered his eyes。 That answer of his
seemed to me strangely humiliating。 He was conscious that she regarded
him with an indifference so profound that the sight of his handwriting
would have not the slightest effect on her。
〃Do you really believe that she'll ever come back to you？〃 I asked。
〃I want her to know that if the worst comes to the worst she can count
on me。 That's what I want you to tell her。〃
I took a sheet of paper。
〃What is it exactly you wish me to say？〃
This is what I wrote：
DEAR MRS。 STROEVE；
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The Moon and Sixpence
Chapter XXXIV
But though I was no less convinced than Stroeve that the connection
between Strickland and Blanche would end disastrously； I did not expect
the issue to take the tragic form it did。 The summer came； breathless and
sultry； and even at night there was no coolness to rest one's jaded nerves。
The sun…baked streets seemed to give back the heat that had beat down on
them during the day； and the passers…by dragged their feet along them
wearily。 I had not seen Strickland for weeks。 Occupied with other things；
I had ceased to think of him and his affairs。 Dirk； with his vain
lamentations； had begun to bore me； and I avoided his society。 It was a
sordid business； and I was not inclined to trouble myself with it further。
One morning I was working。 I sat in my Pyjamas。 My thoughts
wandered； and I thought of the sunny beaches of Brittany and the
freshness of the sea。 By my side was the empty bowl in which the
concierge had brought me my and the fragment of
croissant which I had not had appetite enough to eat。 I heard the concierge
in the next room emptying my bath。 There was a tinkle at my bell； and I
left her to open the door。 In a moment I heard Stroeve's voice asking if I
was in。 Without moving； I shouted to him to come。 He entered the room
quickly； and came up to the table at which I sat。
〃She's killed herself；〃 he said hoarsely。
〃What do you mean？〃 I cried； startled。
He made movements with his lips as though he were speaking； but no
sound issued from them。 He gibbered like an idiot。 My heart thumped
against my ribs； and； I do not know why； I flew into a temper。
〃For God's sake； collect yourself； man；〃 I said。 〃What on earth are
you talking about？〃
He made despairing gestures with his hands； but still no words came
from his mouth。 He might have been struck dumb。 I do not know what
came over me； I took him by the shoulders and shook him。 Looking
back； I am vexed that I made such a fool of myself； I suppose the last
restless nights had shaken my nerves more than I knew。
〃Let me sit down；〃 he gasped at length。
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I filled a glass with St。 Galmier； and gave it to him to drink。 I held it
to his mouth as though he were a child。 He gulped down a mouthful； and
some of it was spilt on his shirt…front。
〃Who's killed herself？〃
I do not know why I asked； for I knew whom he meant。
