the moon and sixpence(月球和六便士)-第10节
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unclench spasmodically。 It was dreadfully painful。
〃Of course I'll go over to Paris if you think I can do any good； but you
must tell me exactly what you want me to do。〃
〃I want him to come back。〃
〃I understood from Colonel MacAndrew that you'd made up your
mind to divorce him。〃
〃I'll never divorce him；〃 she answered with a sudden violence。 〃Tell
him that from me。 He'll never be able to marry that woman。 I'm as
obstinate as he is； and I'll never divorce him。 I have to think of my
children。〃
I think she added this to explain her attitude to me； but I thought it was
due to a very natural jealousy rather than to maternal solicitude。
〃Are you in love with him still？〃
〃I don't know。 I want him to come back。 If he'll do that we'll let
bygones be bygones。 After all； we've been married for seventeen years。
I'm a broadminded woman。 I wouldn't have minded what he did as long
as I knew nothing about it。 He must know that his infatuation won't last。
If he'll come back now everything can be smoothed over； and no one will
know anything about it。〃
It chilled me a little that Mrs。 Strickland should be concerned with
gossip； for I did not know then how great a part is played in women's life
by the opinion of others。 It throws a shadow of insincerity over their most
deeply felt emotions。
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It was known where Strickland was staying。 His partner； in a violent
letter； sent to his bank； had taunted him with hiding his whereabouts： and
Strickland； in a cynical and humourous reply； had told his partner exactly
where to find him。 He was apparently living in an Hotel。
〃I've never heard of it；〃 said Mrs。 Strickland。 〃But Fred knows it
well。 He says it's very expensive。〃
She flushed darkly。 I imagined that she saw her husband installed in
a luxurious suite of rooms； dining at one smart restaurant after another；
and she pictured his days spent at race…meetings and his evenings at the
play。
〃It can't go on at his age；〃 she said。 〃After all； he's forty。 I could
understand it in a young man； but I think it's horrible in a man of his years；
with children who are nearly grown up。 His health will never stand it。〃
Anger struggled in her breast with misery。
〃Tell him that our home cries out for him。 Everything is just the
same； and yet everything is different。 I can't live without him。 I'd
sooner kill myself。 Talk to him about the past； and all we've gone
through together。 What am I to say to the children when they ask for him？
His room is exactly as it was when he left it。 It's waiting for him。 We're
all waiting for him。〃
Now she told me exactly what I should say。 She gave me elaborate
answers to every possible observation of his。
〃You will do everything you can for me？〃 she said pitifully。 〃Tell him
what a state I'm in。〃
I saw that she wished me to appeal to his sympathies by every means
in my power。 She was weeping freely。 I was extraordinarily touched。
I felt indignant at Strickland's cold cruelty； and I promised to do all I could
to bring him back。 I agreed to go over on the next day but one； and to stay
in Paris till I had achieved something。 Then； as it was growing late and
we were both exhausted by so much emotion； I left her。
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The Moon and Sixpence
Chapter XI
During the journey I thought over my errand with misgiving。 Now
that I was free from the spectacle of Mrs。 Strickland's distress I could
consider the matter more calmly。 I was puzzled by the contradictions
that I saw in her behaviour。 She was very unhappy； but to excite my
sympathy she was able to make a show of her unhappiness。 It was
evident that she had been prepared to weep； for she had provided herself
with a sufficiency of handkerchiefs； I admired her forethought； but in
retrospect it made her tears perhaps less moving。 I could not decide
whether she desired the return of her husband because she loved him； or
because she dreaded the tongue of scandal； and I was perturbed by the
suspicion that the anguish of love contemned was alloyed in her broken
heart with the pangs； sordid to my young mind； of wounded vanity。 I had
not yet learnt how contradictory is human nature； I did not know how
much pose there is in the sincere； how much baseness in the noble； nor
how much goodness in the reprobate。
But there was something of an adventure in my trip； and my spirits
rose as I approached Paris。 I saw myself； too； from the dramatic
standpoint； and I was pleased with my role of the trusted friend bringing
back the errant husband to his forgiving wife。 I made up my mind to see
Strickland the following evening； for I felt instinctively that the hour must
be chosen with delicacy。 An appeal to the emotions is little likely to be
effectual before luncheon。 My own thoughts were then constantly
occupied with love； but I never could imagine connubial bliss till after tea。
I enquired at my hotel for that in which Charles Strickland was living。
It was called the Hotel des Belges。 But the concierge； somewhat to my
surprise； had never heard of it。 I had understood from Mrs。 Strickland that
it was a large and sumptuous place at the back of the Rue de Rivoli。 We
looked it out in the directory。 The only hotel of that name was in the Rue
des Moines。 The quarter was not fashionable； it was not even respectable。
I shook my head。
〃I'm sure that's not it；〃 I said。
The concierge shrugged his shoulders。 There was no other hotel of
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that name in Paris。 It occurred to me that Strickland had concealed his
address； after all。 In giving his partner the one I knew he was perhaps
playing a trick on him。 I do not know why I had an inkling that it would
appeal to Strickland's sense of humour to bring a furious stockbroker over
to Paris on a fool's errand to an ill…famed house in a mean street。 Still； I
thought I had better go and see。 Next day about six o'clock I took a cab to
the Rue des Moines； but dismissed it at the corner； since I preferred to
walk to the hotel and look at it before I went in。 It was a street of small
shops subservient to the needs of poor people； and about the middle of it；
on the left as I walked down； was the Hotel des Belges。 My own hotel
was modest enough； but it was magnificent in comparison with this。 It
was a tall； shabby building； that cannot have been painted for years； and it
had so bedraggled an air that the houses on each side of it looked neat and
clean。 The dirty windows were all shut。 It was not here that Charles
Strickland lived in guilty splendour with the unknown charmer for whose
sake he had abandoned honour and duty。 I was vexed； for I felt that I had
been made a fool of； and I nearly turned away without making an enquiry。
I went in only to be able to tell Mrs。 Strickland that I had done my best。
The door was at the side of a shop。 It stood open； and just within was
a sign： I walked up narrow stairs； and on the
landing found a sort of box； glassed in； within which were a desk and a
couple of chairs。 There was a bench outside； on which it might be
presumed the night porter passed uneasy nights。 There was no one about；
but under an electric bell was written I rang； and presently a
waiter appeared。 He was a young man with furtive eyes and a sullen
look。 He was in shirt…sleeves and car
