thais(塞斯)-第39节
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perfumes！ Hide yourselves； ye shapes and thoughts of the universe！ 'Thais
is dying！' She was the beauty of the world； and all that drew near to her
grew fairer in the reflection of her grace。 The old man and the sages who
sat near her； at the banquet at Alexandria； how pleasant they were； and
how fascinating was their conversation！ A host of brilliant thoughts sprang
to their lips； and all their ideas were steeped in pleasure。 And it was
because the breath of Thais was on them that all they said was love；
beauty； truth。 A delightful impiety lent its grace to their discourse。 They
thoroughly expressed all human splendour。 Alas！ all that is but a dream。
Thais is dying！ Oh； how easy it will be to me to die of her death！ But canst
thou only die； withered embryo； fetus steeped in gall and scalding tears？
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Miserable abortion； dost thou think thou canst taste death； thou who hast
never known life？ If only God exists； that he may damn me。 I hope for it
I wish it。 God； I hate Theedost Thou hear？ Overwhelm me with Thy
damnation。 To compel Thee to； I spit in Thy face。 I must find an eternal
hell； to exhaust the eternity of rage which consumes me。〃
*****
The next day； at dawn； Albina received the Abbot of Antinoe at the
nunnery。
〃Thou art welcome to our tabernacles of peace； venerable father； for
no doubt； thou comest to bless the saint thou hast given us。 Thou knowest
that God； in his mercy； has called her to Him； how couldst thou fail to
know tidings that the angels have carried from desert to desert？ It is true
that Thais is about to meet her blessed death。 Her labours are
accomplished； and I ought to inform thee； in a few words； as to her
conduct whilst she was still amongst us。 After thy departure； when she was
confined in a cell sealed with thy seal； I sent her； with her food； a flute；
similar to those which girls of her profession play at banquets。 I did that to
prevent her from falling into a melancholy mood； and that she should not
show less skill and talent before God than she had shown before men。 In
this I showed prudence and foresight； for all day long Thais praised the
Lord upon the flute； and the virgins； who were attracted by the sound of
this invisible flute； said； 'We hear the nightingale of the heavenly groves；
the dying swan of Jesus crucified。' Thus did Thais perform her penance；
when； after sixty days； the door which thou hadst sealed opened of itself；
and the clay seal was broken without being touched by any human hand。
By that sign I knew that the trial thou hadst imposed upon her was at an
end； and that God had pardoned the sins of the flute…player。 From that time
she has shared the ordinary life of my nuns； working and praying with
them。 She was an example to them by the modesty of her acts and words；
and seemed like a statue of purity amongst them。 Sometimes she was sad；
but those clouds soon passed。 When I saw that she was really drawn
towards God by faith； hope； and love； I did not hesitate to employ her
talent； and even her beauty； for the improvement of her sisters。 I asked her
to represent before us the actions of the famous women and wise virgins
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of the Scriptures。 She acted Esther； Deborah； Judith； Mary； the sister of
Lazarus； and Mary； the mother of Jesus。 I know； venerable father； that thy
austere mind is alarmed at the idea of these performances。 But thou thyself
wouldest have been touched if thou hadst seen her in these pious scenes；
shedding real tears； and raising to heaven arms graceful as palm leaves。 I
have long governed a community of women； and I make it a rule never to
oppose their nature。 All seeds give not the same flowers。 Not all souls are
sanctified in the same way。 It must also not be forgotten that Thais gave
herself to God whilst she was still beautiful； and such a sacrifice is； if not
unexampled； at least very rare。 This beautyher natural vesturehas not
left her during the three months' fever of which she is dying。 As； during
her illness； she has incessantly asked to see the sky； I have her carried
every morning into the courtyard； near the well； under the old fig tree； in
the shade of which the abbesses of this convent are accustomed to hold
their meetings。 Thou wilt find her there； venerable father； but hasten； for
God calls her； and this night a shroud will cover that face which God made
both to shame and to edify this world。〃
Paphnutius followed her into a courtyard flooded with the morning
light。 On the edge of the brick roofs； the pigeons formed a string of pearls。
On a bed； in the shade of the fig tree； Thais lay quite white； her arms
crossed。 By her side stood veiled women； reciting the prayers for the
dying。
/〃Have mercy； upon me； O God； according to Thy loving kindness：
according unto the multitude of Thy tender mercies blot out my
transgressions。〃/
He called her
〃Thais！〃
She raised her eyelids； and turned the whites of her eyes in the
direction of the voice。
Albina made a sign to the veiled women to retire a few paces。
〃Thais！〃 repeated the monk。
She raised her head； a light breath came from her pale lips。
〃Is it thou； my father？ 。 。 。 Dost thou remember the water of the spring；
and the dates that we picked？ 。 。 。 That day； my father； love was born in my
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heartthe love of life eternal。〃
She was silent； and her head fell back。
Death was upon her； and the sweat of the last agony bedewed her
forehead。 A pigeon broke the still silence with its plaintive cooing。 Then
the sobs of the monk mingled with the psalms of the virgins。
/〃Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity； and cleanse me from my
sin。 For I acknowledge my transgressions： and my sin is ever before me。〃/
Suddenly Thais sat up in the bed。 Her violet eyes opened wide； and
with a rapt gaze； her arms stretched towards the distant hills； she said in a
clear； fresh voice
〃Behold themthe roses of the eternal dawn！〃
Her eyes shone； a slight flush suffused her face。 She had revived； more
sweet and more beautiful than ever。 Paphnutius knelt down； and threw his
long black arms around her。
〃Do not die！〃 he cried； in a strange voice； which he himself did not
recognise。 〃I love thee！ Do not die！ Listen； my Thais。 I have deceived thee？
I was but a wretched fool。 God； heavenall that is nothing。 There is
nothing true but this worldly life； and the love of human beings。 I love
thee！ Do not die！ That would be impossiblethou art too precious！ Come；
come with me！ Let us fly？ I will carry thee far away in my arms。 Come； let
us love！ Hear me； O my beloved； and say； 'I will live； I wish to live。' Thais；
Thais； arise！〃
She did not hear him。 Her eyes gazed into infinity。
She murmured
〃Heaven opens。 I see the angels； the prophets； and the saints。 。 。 。 The
good Theodore is amongst them； his hands filled with flowers； he smiles
on me and calls me。 。 。 。 Two angels come to me。 They draw near。 。 。 。 How
beautiful they are！ I see God！〃
She uttered a joyful sigh； and her head fell back motionless on the
pillow。 Thais was dead。
Paphnutius held her in a last despairing embrace； his eyes devoured
her with desire； rage； and love。
Albina cried to him
〃Avaunt； accursed wretch！〃
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And she gently placed her fingers on the eyelids of the dead girl。
Paphnutius staggered back； his eyes burning with flames and feeling the
earth open beneath his feet。
The virgins chanted the song of Zacharias：
/〃Blessed be the Lord God of Israel。〃/
Suddenly their voices stayed in their throat。 They had seen the monk's
face； and they fled in affright； c
