dreams-第11节

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And　I　walked　down　the　shining　way　with　palms　on　either　hand。　　I　said　to　God；　〃Ever　since　I　was　a　little　child　and　sat　alone　and　cried；　I　have　dreamed　of　this　land；　and　now　I　will　not　go　away　again。　　I　will　stay　here　and　shine。〃　　And　I　began　to　take　off　my　garments；　that　I　might　shine　as　others　in　that　land；　but　when　I　looked　down　I　saw　my　body　gave　no　light。　　I　said　to　God；　〃How　is　it？〃

God　said；　〃Is　there　no　dark　blood　in　your　heart；　is　it　bitter　against　none？〃

And　I　said；　〃Yes〃；　and　I　thought〃Now　is　the　time　when　I　will　tell　God；　that　which　I　have　been；　meaning　to　tell　him　all　along；　how　badly　my　fellow…　men　have　treated　me。　　How　they　have　misunderstood　me。　　How　I　have　intended　to　be　magnanimous　and　generous　to　them；　and　they。〃　　And　I　began　to　tell　God；　but　when　I　looked　down　all　the　flowers　were　withering　under　my　breath；　and　I　was　silent。

And　God　called　me　to　come　up　higher；　and　I　gathered　my　mantle　about　me　and　followed　him。

And　the　rocks　grew　higher　and　steeper　on　every　side；　and　we　came　at　last　to　a　place　where　a　great　mountain　rose；　whose　top　was　lost　in　the　clouds。　　And　on　its　side　I　saw　men　working；　and　they　picked　at　the　earth　with　huge　picks；　and　I　saw　that　they　laboured　mightily。　　And　some　laboured　in　companies；　but　most　laboured　singly。　　And　I　saw　the　drops　of　sweat　fall　from　their　foreheads；　and　the　muscles　of　their　arms　stand　out　with　labour。　And　I　said；　〃I　had　not　thought　in　heaven　to　see　men　labour　so！〃　　And　I　thought　of　the　garden　where　men　sang　and　loved；　and　I　wondered　that　any　should　choose　to　labour　on　that　bare　mountain…side。　　And　I　saw　upon　the　foreheads　of　the　men　as　they　worked　a　light；　and　the　drops　which　fell　from　them　as　they　worked　had　light。

And　I　asked　God　what　they　were　seeking　for。

And　God　touched　my　eyes；　and　I　saw　that　what　they　found　were　small　stones；　which　had　been　too　bright　for　me　to　see　before；　and　I　saw　that　the　light　of　the　stones　and　the　light　on　the　men's　foreheads　was　the　same。　　And　I　saw　that　when　one　found　a　stone　he　passed　it　on　to　his　fellow；　and　he　to　another；　and　he　to　another。　　No　man　kept　the　stone　he　found。　　And　at　times　they　gathered　in　great　company　about　when　a　large　stone　was　found；　and　raised　a　great　shout　so　that　the　sky　rang；　then　they　worked　on　again。

And　I　asked　God　what　they　did　with　the　stones　they　found　at　last。　　Then　God　touched　my　eyes　again　to　make　them　stronger；　and　I　looked；　and　at　my　very　feet　was　a　mighty　crown。　　The　light　streamed　out　from　it。

God　said；　〃Each　stone　as　they　find　it　is　set　here。〃

And　the　crown　was　wrought　according　to　a　marvellous　pattern；　one　pattern　ran　through　all；　yet　each　part　was　different。

I　said　to　God；　〃How　does　each　man　know　where　to　set　his　stone；　so　that　the　pattern　is　worked　out？〃

God　said；　〃Because　in　the　light　his　forehead　sheds　each　man　sees　faintly　outlined　that　full　crown。〃

And　I　said；　〃But　how　is　it　that　each　stone　is　joined　along　its　edges　to　its　fellows；　so　that　there　is　no　seam　anywhere？〃

God　said；　〃The　stones　are　alive；　they　grow。〃

And　I　said；　〃But　what　does　each　man　gain　by　his　working？〃

God　said；　〃He　sees　his　outline　filled。〃

I　said；　〃But　those　stones　which　are　last　set　cover　those　which　were　first；　and　those　will　again　be　covered　by　those　which　come　later。〃

God　said；　〃They　are　covered；　but　not　hid。　　The　light　is　the　light　of　all。　　Without　the　first；　no　last。〃

And　I　said　to　God；　〃When　will　this　crown　be　ended？〃

And　God　said；　〃Look　up！〃

I　looked　up；　and　I　saw　the　mountain　tower　above　me；　but　its　summit　I　could　not　see；　it　was　lost　in　the　clouds。

God　said　no　more。

And　I　looked　at　the　crown：　　then　a　longing　seized　me。　　Like　the　passion　of　a　mother　for　the　child　whom　death　has　taken；　like　the　yearning　of　a　friend　for　the　friend　whom　life　has　buried；　like　the　hunger　of　dying　eyes　for　a　life　that　is　slipping；　like　the　thirst　of　a　soul　for　love　at　its　first　spring　waking；　so；　but　fiercer　was　the　longing　in　me。

I　cried　to　God；　〃I　too　will　work　here；　I　too　will　set　stones　in　the　wonderful　pattern；　it　shall　grow　beneath　MY　hand。　　And　if　it　be　that；　labouring　here　for　years；　I　should　not　find　one　stone；　at　least　I　will　be　with　the　men　that　labour　here。　　I　shall　hear　their　shout　of　joy　when　each　stone　is　found；　I　shall　join　in　their　triumph；　I　shall　shout　among　them；　I　shall　see　the　crown　grow。〃　　So　great　was　my　longing　as　I　looked　at　the　crown；　I　thought　a　faint　light　fell　from　my　forehead　also。

God　said；　〃Do　you　not　hear　the　singing　in　the　gardens？〃

I　said；　〃No；　I　hear　nothing；　I　see　only　the　crown。〃　　And　I　was　dumb　with　longing；　I　forgot　all　the　flowers　of　the　lower　Heaven　and　the　singing　there。　　And　I　ran　forward；　and　threw　my　mantle　on　the　earth　and　bent　to　seize　one　of　the　mighty　tools　which　lay　there。　　I　could　not　lift　it　from　the　earth。

God　said；　〃Where　hast　THOU　earned　the　strength　to　raise　it？　　Take　up　thy　mantle。〃

And　I　took　up　my　mantle　and　followed　where　God　called　me；　but　I　looked　back；　and　I　saw　the　crown　burning；　my　crown　that　I　had　loved。

Higher　and　higher　we　climbed；　and　the　air　grew　thinner。　　Not　a　tree　or　plant　was　on　the　bare　rocks；　and　the　stillness　was　unbroken。　　My　breath　came　hard　and　quick；　and　the　blood　crept　within　my　finger…tips。　　I　said　to　God；　〃Is　this　Heaven？〃

God　said；　〃Yes；　it　is　the　highest。〃

And　still　we　climbed。　　I　said　to　God；　〃I　cannot　breathe　so　high。〃

God　said；　〃Because　the　air　is　pure？〃

And　my　head　grew　dizzy；　and　as　I　climbed　the　blood　burst　from　my　finger…　tips。

Then　we　came　out　upon　a　lonely　mountain…top。

No　living　being　moved　there；　but　far　off　on　a　solitary　peak　I　saw　a　lonely　figure　standing。　　Whether　it　were　man　or　woman　I　could　not　tell；　for　partly　it　seemed　the　figure　of　a　woman；　but　its　limbs　were　the　mighty　limbs　of　a　man。　　I　asked　God　whether　it　was　man　or　woman。

God　said；　〃In　the　least　Heaven　sex　reigns　supreme；　in　the　higher　it　is　not　noticed；　but　in　the　highest　it　does　not　exist。〃

And　I　saw　the　figure　bend　over　its　work；　and　labour　mightily；　but　what　it　laboured　at　I　could　not　see。

I　said　to　God；　〃How　came　it　here？〃

God　said；　〃By　a　bloody　stair。　　Step　by　step　it　mounted　from　the　lowest　Hell；　and　day　by　day　as　Hell　grew　farther　and　Heaven　no　nearer；　it　hung　alone　between　two　worlds。　　Hour　by　hour　in　that　bitter　struggle　its　limbs　grew　larger；　till　there　fell　from　it　rag　by　rag　the　garments　which　it　started　with。　　Drops　fell　from　its　eyes　as　it　strained　them；　each　step　it　climbed　was　wet　with　blood。　　Then　it　came　out　here。〃

And　I　thought　of　the　garden　where　men　sang　with　their　arms　around　one　another；　and　the　mountain…side　where　they　worked　in　company。　　And　I　shuddered。

And　I　said；　〃Is　it　not　terribly　alone　here？〃

God　said；　〃It　is　never　alone！〃

I　said；　〃What　has　it　for　all　its　labour？　　I　see　nothing　return　to　it。〃

Then　God　touched　my　eyes；　and　I　saw　stretched　out　beneath　us　the　plains　of　Heaven　and　Hell；　and　all　that　was　within　them。

God　said；　〃From　that　lone　height　on　which　he　stands；　all　things　are　open。　　To　him　is　clear　the　shining　in　the　garden；　he　sees　the　flower　break　forth　and　the　streams　sparkle；　no　shout　is　raised　upon　the　mountain…side　but　his　ear　may　hear　it。　　He　sees　the　crown　grow　and　the　light　shoot　from　it。　　All　Hell　is　open　to　him。　　He　sees　the　paths　mount　upwards。　　To　him；　Hell　is　the　seed　ground　from　which　Heaven　springs。　　He　sees　the　sap　ascending。〃

And　I　saw　the　figure　bend　over　its　work；　and　the　light　from　its　face　fell　upon　it。

And　I　said　to　God；　〃What　is　it　making？〃

And　God　said；　〃Music！〃

And　he　touched　my　ears；　and　I　heard　it。

And　after　a　long　while　I　whispered　to　God；　〃This　is　Heaven。〃

And　God　asked　me　why　I　was　crying。　　But　I　could　not　answer　for　joy。

And　the　face　turned　from　its　work；　and　the　light　fell　upon　me。　　Then　it　grew　so　bright　I　could　not　see　things　separately；　and　which　were　God；　or　the　man；　or　I；　I　could　not　tell；　we　were　all　blended。　　I　cried　to　God；　〃Where　are　you？〃　but　there　was　no　answer；　only　music　and　light。

Afterwards；　when　it　had　grown　so　dark　again　that　I　could　see　things　separately；　I　found　that　I　was　standing　there　wrapped　tight　in　my　little　old；　brown；　earthly　cloak；　and　God　and　the　man　were　separated　from　each　other；　and　from　me。

I　did　not　dare　say　I　would　go　and　make　music　beside　the　man。　　I　knew　I　could　not　reach　even　to　his　knee；　nor　move　the　instrument　he　played。　　But　I　thought　I　would　stand　there　on　my　little　peak　and　sing　an　accompaniment　to　that　great　music。　　And　I　tried；　but　my　voice　failed。　　It　piped　and　quavered。　　I　could　not　sing　that　tune。　　I　was　silent。

Then　God　pointed　to　me；　that　I　should　go　out　of　Heaven。

And　I　cried　to　God；　〃Oh；　let　me　stay　here！　　If　indeed　it　be；　as　I　know　it　is；　that　I　am　not　great　enough　to　sing　upon　the　mountain；　nor　strong　enough　to　labour　on　its　side；　nor　bright　enough　to　shine　and　love　within　the　garden；　at　least　let　me　go　down　to　the　great　gateway；　humbly　I　will　kneel　there　sweeping；　and；　as　the　saved　pass　in；　I　will　see　the　light　upon　their　faces。　　I　shall　hear　the　singing　in　the　garden；　and　the　shout　upon　the　hillside〃

God　said；　〃It　may　not　be；〃　he　pointed。

And　I　cried；　〃If　I　may　not　stay　in　Heaven；　then　let　me　go　down　to　Hell；　and　I　will　grasp　the　hands　of　men　and　women　there；　and　slowly；　holding　one　another's　hands；