the essays of montaigne, v17-第10节

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book　xiv。＇　tied　together　like　dogs；　and　a　wife　ought　not　to　be　so
greedily　enamoured　of　her　husband's　foreparts；　that　she　cannot　endure　to
see　him　turn　his　back；　if　occasion　be。　　But　may　not　this　saying　of　that
excellent　painter　of　woman's　humours　be　here　introduced；　to　show　the
reason　of　their　complaints？

　　　　　　　　　〃Uxor；　si　cesses；　aut　to　amare　cogitat；
　　　　　　　　　　Aut　tete　amari；　aut　potare；　aut　animo　obsequi；
　　　　　　　　　　Et　tibi　bene　esse　soli；　cum　sibi　sit　male；〃

　　　　　＇〃Your　wife；　if　you　loiter；　thinks　that　you　love　or　are　beloved；　or
　　　　　that　you　are　drinking　or　following　your　inclination；　and　that　it　is
　　　　　well　for　you　when　it　is　ill　for　her　（all　the　pleasure　is　yours　and
　　　　　hers　all　the　care）。〃
　　　　　Terence；　Adelph。；　act　i。；　sc。　I；　v。　　7。＇

or　may　it　not　be；　that　of　itself　opposition　and　contradiction　entertain
and　nourish　them；　and　that　they　sufficiently　accommodate　themselves；
provided　they　incommodate　you？

In　true　friendship；　wherein　I　am　perfect；　I　more　give　myself　to　my
friend；　than　I　endeavour　to　attract　him　to　me。　　I　am　not　only　better
pleased　in　doing　him　service　than　if　he　conferred　a　benefit　upon　me；
but；　moreover；　had　rather　he　should　do　himself　good　than　me；　and　he　most
obliges　me　when　he　does　so；　and　if　absence　be　either　more　pleasant　or
convenient　for　him；　'tis　also　more　acceptable　to　me　than　his　presence；
neither　is　it　properly　absence；　when　we　can　write　to　one　another：　I　have
sometimes　made　good　use　of　our　separation　from　one　another：　we　better
filled　and　further　extended　the　possession　of　life　in　being　parted。
He　＇La　Boetie。＇　lived；　enjoyed；　and　saw　for　me；　and　I　for　him；　as
fully　as　if　he　had　himself　been　there；　one　part　of　us　remained　idle；　and
we　were　too　much　blended　in　one　another　when　we　were　together；　the
distance　of　place　rendered　the　conjunction　of　our　wills　more　rich。　　This
insatiable　desire　of　personal　presence　a　little　implies　weakness　in　the
fruition　of　souls。

As　to　what　concerns　age；　which　is　alleged　against　me；　'tis　quite
contrary；　'tis　for　youth　to　subject　itself　to　common　opinions；　and　to
curb　itself　to　please　others；　it　has　wherewithal　to　please　both　the
people　and　itself；　we　have　but　too　much　ado　to　please　ourselves　alone。
As　natural　conveniences　fail；　let　us　supply　them　with　those　that　are
artificial。　　'Tis　injustice　to　excuse　youth　for　pursuing　its　pleasures；
and　to　forbid　old　men　to　seek　them。　　When　young；　I　concealed　my　wanton
passions　with　prudence；　now　I　am　old；　I　chase　away　melancholy　by　debauch。
And　thus　do　the　platonic　laws　forbid　men　to　travel　till　forty　or　fifty
years　old；　so　that　travel　might　be　more　useful　and　instructive　in　so
mature　an　age。　　I　should　sooner　subscribe　to　the　second　article　of　the
same　Laws；　which　forbids　it　after　threescore。

〃But；　at　such　an　age；　you　will　never　return　from　so　long　a　journey。〃
What　care　I　for　that？　　I　neither　undertake　it　to　return；　nor　to　finish　it
my　business　is　only　to　keep　myself　in　motion；　whilst　motion　pleases　me；
I　only　walk　for　the　walk's　sake。　　They　who　run　after　a　benefit　or　a　hare；
run　not；　they　only　run　who　run　at　base；　and　to　exercise　their　running。
My　design　is　divisible　throughout：　it　is　not　grounded　upon　any　great
hopes：　every　day　concludes　my　expectation：　and　the　journey　of　my　life　is
carried　on　after　the　same　manner。　　And　yet　I　have　seen　places　enough　a
great　way　off；　where　I　could　have　wished　to　have　stayed。　　And　why　not；
if　Chrysippus；　Cleanthes；　Diogenes；　Zeno；　Antipater；　so　many　sages　of　the
sourest　sect；　readily　abandoned　their　country；　without　occasion　of
complaint；　and　only　for　the　enjoyment　of　another　air。　　In　earnest；　that
which　most　displeases　me　in　all　my　travels　is；　that　I　cannot　resolve　to
settle　my　abode　where　I　should　best　like；　but　that　I　must　always　propose
to　myself　to　return；　to　accommodate　myself　to　the　common　humour。

If　I　feared　to　die　in　any　other　place　than　that　of　my　birth；　if　I　thought
I　should　die　more　uneasily　remote　from　my　own　family；　I　should　hardly　go
out　of　France；　I　should　not；　without　fear；　step　out　of　my　parish；　I　feel
death　always　pinching　me　by　the　throat　or　by　the　back。　　But　I　am
otherwise　constituted；　'tis　in　all　places　alike　to　me。　　Yet；　might　I　have
my　choice；　I　think　I　should　rather　choose　to　die　on　horseback　than　in
bed；　out　of　my　own　house；　and　far　from　my　own　people。　　There　is　more
heartbreaking　than　consolation　in　taking　leave　of　one's　friends；　I　am
willing　to　omit　that　civility；　for　that；　of　all　the　offices　of
friendship；　is　the　only　one　that　is　unpleasant；　and　I　could；　with　all　my
heart；　dispense　with　that　great　and　eternal　farewell。　　If　there　be　any
convenience　in　so　many　standers…by；　it　brings　an　hundred　inconveniences
along　with　it。　　I　have　seen　many　dying　miserably　surrounded　with　all　this
train：　'tis　a　crowd　that　chokes　them。　　'Tis　against　duty；　and　is　a
testimony　of　little　kindness　and　little　care；　to　permit　you　to　die　in
repose；　one　torments　your　eyes；　another　your　ears；　another　your　tongue；
you　have　neither　sense　nor　member　that　is　not　worried　by　them。　　Your
heart　is　wounded　with　compassion　to　hear　the　mourning　of　friends；　and；
perhaps　with　anger；　to　hear　the　counterfeit　condolings　of　pretenders。
Who　ever　has　been　delicate　and　sensitive；　when　well；　is　much　more　so　when
ill。　　In　such　a　necessity；　a　gentle　hand　is　required；　accommodated　to　his
sentiment；　to　scratch　him　just　in　the　place　where　he　itches；　otherwise
scratch　him　not　at　all。　　If　we　stand　in　need　of　a　wise　woman　＇midwife；
Fr。　'sage　femme'。＇　to　bring　us　into　the　world；　we　have　much　more　need
of　a　still　wiser　man　to　help　us　out　of　it。　　Such　a　one；　and　a　friend　to
boot；　a　man　ought　to　purchase　at　any　cost　for　such　an　occasion。　　I　am　not
yet　arrived　to　that　pitch　of　disdainful　vigour　that　is　fortified　in
itself；　that　nothing　can　assist　or　disturb；　I　am　of　a　lower　form；　I
endeavour　to　hide　myself；　and　to　escape　from　this　passage；　not　by　fear；
but　by　art。　　I　do　not　intend　in　this　act　of　dying　to　make　proof　and　show
of　my　constancy。　For　whom　should　I　do　it？　all　the　right　and　interest　I
have　in　reputation　will　then　cease。　　I　content　myself　with　a　death
involved　within　itself；　quiet；　solitary；　and　all　my　own；　suitable　to　my
retired　and　private　life；　quite　contrary　to　the　Roman　superstition；　where
a　man　was　looked　upon　as　unhappy　who　died　without　speaking；　and　who　had
not　his　nearest　relations　to　close　his　eyes。　　I　have　enough　to　do　to
comfort　myself；　without　having　to　console　others；　thoughts　enough　in　my
head；　not　to　need　that　circumstances　should　possess　me　with　new；　and
matter　enough　to　occupy　me　without　borrowing。　　This　affair　is　out　of　the
part　of　society；　'tis　the　act　of　one　single　person。　　Let　us　live　and　be
merry　amongst　our　friends；　let　us　go　repine　and　die　amongst　strangers；　a
man　may　find　those；　for　his　money；　who　will　shift　his　pillow　and　rub　his
feet；　and　will　trouble　him　no　more　than　he　would　have　them；　who　will
present　to　him　an　indifferent　countenance；　and　suffer　him　to　govern
himself；　and　to　complain　according　to　his　own　method。

I　wean　myself　daily　by　my　reason　from　this　childish　and　inhuman　humour；
of　desiring　by　our　sufferings　to　move　the　compassion　and　mourning　of　our
friends：　we　stretch　our　own　incommodities　beyond　their　just　extent　when
we　extract　tears　from　others；　and　the　constancy　which　we　commend　in　every
one　in　supporting　his　adverse　fortune；　we　accuse　and　reproach　in　our
friends　when　the　evil　is　our　own；　we　are　not　satisfied　that　they　should
be　sensible　of　our　condition　only；　unless　they　be；　moreover；　afflicted。
A　man　should　diffuse　joy；　but；　as　much　as　he　can；　smother　grief。　　He　who
makes　himself　lamented　without　reason　is　a　man　not　to　be　lamented　when
there　shall　be　real　cause：　to　be　always　complaining　is　the　way　never　to
be　lamented；　by　making　himself　always　in　so　pitiful　a　taking；　he　is　never
commiserated　by　any。　　He　who　makes　himself　out　dead　when　he　is　alive；　is
subject　to　be　thought　living　when　he　is　dying。　　I　have　seen　some　who　have
taken　it　ill　when　they　have　been　told　that　they　looked　well；　and　that
their　pulse　was　good；　restrain　their　smiles；　because　they　betrayed　a
recovery；　and　be　angry；　at　their　health　because　it　was　not　to　be
lamented：　and；　which　is　a　great　deal　more；　these　were　not　women。
I　describe　my　infirmities；　such　as　they　really　are；　at　most；　and　avoid
all　expressions　of　evil　prognostic　and　composed　exclamations。　　If　not
mirth；　at　least　a　temperate　countenance　in　the　standers…by；　is　proper　in
the　presence　of　a　wise　sick　man：　he　does　not　quarrel　with　health；　for；
seeing　himself　in　a　contrary　condition；　he　is　pleased　to　contemplate　it
sound　and　entire　in　others；　and　at　least　to　enjoy　it　for　company：　he　does
not；　for　feeling　himself　melt　away；　abandon　all　living　thoughts；　nor
avoid　ordinary　discourse。　　I　would　study　sickness　whilst　I　am　well；　when
it　has　seized　me；　it　will　make　its　impression　real　enough；　without　the
help　of　my　imagination。　　We　prepare　ourselves　beforehand　for　the　journeys
we　undertake；　and　resolve　upon　them；　we　leave　the　appointment　of　the　hour
when　to　take　horse　to　the　company；　and　in　their　favour　defer　it。

I　find　this　unexpected　advantage　in　the　publication　of　my　manners；　that
it　in　some　sort　serves　me　for　a　rule。