father and son-第32节

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would　provide；'　and　after　emptying　my　little　bag　into　the　palm　of　an　enormous　hand；　he　swept　the　contents　into　his　trousers　pocket；　and　slapped　his　leg。　He　said　not　one　single　word　of　thanks　or　appreciation；　and　I　was　absolutely　cut　to　the　heart。

I　think　that　in　the　course　of　a　long　life　I　have　never　experienced　a　bitterer　disappointment。　The　woman；　who　was　quicker；　and　more　sensitive；　doubtless　saw　my　embarrassment；　but　the　form　of　comfort　which　she　chose　was　even　more　wounding　to　my　pride。　'Never　mind；　little　master；'　she　said；　you　shall　come　and　see　me　feed　the　pigs。'　But　there　is　a　limit　to　endurance；　and　with　a　sense　of　having　been　cruelly　torn　by　the　tooth　of　ingratitude；　I　fled　from　the　threshold　of　the　Brookses；　never　to　return。

At　tea　that　afternoon；　I　was　very　much　downcast；　and　under　cross…　examination　from　Miss　Marks；　all　my　little　story　came　out。　My　Father；　who　had　been　floating　away　in　a　meditation；　as　he　very　often　did；　caught　a　word　that　interested　him　and　descended　to　consciousness。　I　had　to　tell　my　tale　over　again；　this　time　very　sadly；　and　with　a　fear　that　I　should　be　reprimanded。　But　on　the　contrary；　both　my　Father　and　Miss　Marks　were　attentive　and　most　sympathetic；　and　I　was　much　comforted。　'We　must　remember　they　are　the　Lord's　children；'　said　my　Father。　'Even　the　Lord　can't　make　a　silk　purse　out　of　a　sow's　ear；'　said　Miss　Marks；　who　was　considerably　ruffled。　'Alas！　alas！'　replied　my　Father；　waving　his　hand　with　a　deprecating　gesture。　'The　dear　child！'　said　Miss　Marks；　bristling　with　indignation；　and　patting　my　hand　across　the　tea…table。　The　Lord　will　reward　your　zealous　loving　care　of　his　poor；　even　if　they　have　neither　the　grace　nor　the　knowledge　to　thank　you；'　said　my　Father；　and　rested　his　brown　eyes　meltingly　upon　me。　'Brutes！'　said　Miss　Marks；　thinking　of　John　and　Ann　Brooks。　'Oh　no！　no！'　replied　my　Father；　'but　hewers　of　wood　and　drawers　of　water！　We　must　bear　with　the　limited　intelligence。'　All　this　was　an　emollient　to　my　wounds；　and　I　became　consoled。　But　the　springs　of　benevolence　were　dried　up　within　me；　and　to　this　day　I　have　never　entirely　recovered　from　the　shock　of　John　Brooks's　coarse　leer　and　his　'I　know'd　the　Lord　would　provide。'　The　infant　plant　of　philanthropy　was　burned　in　my　bosom　as　if　by　quick…lime。

In　the　course　of　the　summer；　a　young　schoolmaster　called　on　my　Father　to　announce　to　him　that　he　had　just　opened　a　day…school　for　the　sons　of　gentlemen　in　our　vicinity；　and　he　begged　for　the　favour　of　a　visit。　My　Father　returned　his　call；　he　lived　in　one　of　the　small　white　villas；　buried　in　laurels；　which　gave　a　discreet　animation　to　our　neighbourhood。　Mr。　M。　was　frank　and　modest；　deferential　to　my　Father's　opinions　and　yet　capable　of　defending　his　own。　His　school　and　he　produced　an　excellent　impression；　and　in　August　I　began　to　be　one　of　his　pupils。　The　school　was　very　informal；　it　was　held　in　the　two　principal　dwelling…rooms　on　the　ground…floor　of　the　villa；　and　I　do　not　remember　that　Mr。　M。　had　any　help　from　an　usher。

There　were　perhaps　twenty　boys　in　the　school　at　most；　and　often　fewer。　I　made　the　excursion　between　home　and　school　four　times　a　day；　if　I　walked　fast；　the　transit　might　take　five　minutes；　and；　as　there　were　several　objects　of　interest　in　the　way；　it　might　be　spread　over　an　hour。　In　fine　weather　the　going　to　and　from　school　was　very　delightful；　and　small　as　the　scope　of　it　was；　it　could　be　varied　almost　indefinitely。　I　would　sometimes　meet　with　a　schoolfellow　proceeding　in　the　same　direction；　and　my　Father；　observing　us　over　the　wall　one　morning；　was　amused　to　notice　that　I　always　progressed　by　dancing　along　the　curbstone　sideways；　my　face　turned　inwards　and　my　arms　beating　against　my　legs；　conversing　loudly　all　the　time。　This　was　a　case　of　pure　heredity；　for　so　he　used　to　go　to　his　school；　forty　years　before；　along　the　streets　of　Poole。

One　day　when　fortunately　I　was　alone；　I　was　accosted　by　an　old　gentleman；　dressed　as　a　dissenting　minister。　He　was　pleased　with　my　replies；　and　he　presently　made　it　a　habit　to　be　taking　his　constitutional　when　I　was　likely　to　be　on　the　high　road。　We　became　great　friends；　and　he　took　me　at　last　to　his　house；　a　very　modest　place；　where　to　my　great　amazement；　there　hung　in　the　dining…room；　two　large　portraits；　one　of　a　man；　the　other　of　a　woman；　in　extravagant　fancy…dress。　My　old　friend　told　me　that　the　former　was　a　picture　of　himself　as　he　had　appeared；　'long　ago；　in　my　unconverted　days；　on　the　stage'。

I　was　so　ignorant　as　not　to　have　the　slightest　conception　of　what　was　meant　by　the　stage；　and　he　explained　to　me　that　he'　had　been　an　actor　and　a　poet；　before　the　Lord　had　opened　his　eyes　to　better　things。　I　knew　nothing　about　actors；　but　poets　were　already　the　objects　of　my　veneration。　My　friend　was　the　first　poet　I　had　ever　seen。　He　was　no　less　a　person　than　James　Sheridan　Knowles；　the　famous　author　of　Virginius　and　The　Hunchback；　who　had　become　a　Baptist　minister　in　his　old　age。　When；　at　home；　I　mentioned　this　acquaintance；　it　awakened　no　interest。　I　believe　that　my　Father　had　never　heard；　or　never　noticed；　the　name　of　one　who　had　been　by　far　the　most　eminent　English　playwright　of　that　age。

It　was　from　Sheridan　Knowles'　lips　that　I　first　heard　fall　the　name　of　Shakespeare。　He　was　surprised；　I　fancy；　to　find　me　so　curiously　advanced　in　some　branches　of　knowledge；　and　so　utterly　ignorant　of　others。　He　could　hardly　credit　that　the　names　of　Hamlet　and　Falstaff　and　Prospero　meant　nothing　to　a　little　boy　who　knew　so　much　theology　and　geography　as　I　did。　Mr。　Knowles　suggested　that　I　should　ask　my　schoolmaster　to　read　some　of　the　plays　of　Shakespeare　with　the　boys；　and　he　proposed　The　Merchant　of　Venice　as　particularly　wellsuited　for　this　purpose。　I　repeated　what　my　aged　friend　（Mr　Sheridan　Knowles　must　have　been　nearly　eighty　at　that　time）　had　said；　and　Mr。　M。　accepted　the　idea　with　promptitude。　（All　my　memories　of　this　my　earliest　schoolmaster　present　him　to　me　as　intelligent；　amiable　and　quick；　although　I　think　not　very　soundly　prepared　for　his　profession。）

Accordingly；　it　was　announced　that　the　reading　of　Shakespeare　would　be　one　of　our　lessons；　and　on　the　following　afternoon　we　began　The　Merchant　of　Venice。　There　was　one　large　volume；　and　it　was　handed　about　the　class；　I　was　permitted　to　read　the　part　of　Bassanio；　and　I　set　forth；　with　ecstatic　pipe；　how

In　Belmont　is　a　lady　richly　left；　And　she　is　fair；　and　fairer　than　that　word！

Mr。　M。　must　have　had　some　fondness　for　the　stage　himself；　his　pleasure　in　the　Shakespeare　scenes　was　obvious；　and　nothing　else　that　he　taught　me　made　so　much　impression　on　me　as　what　he　said　about　a　proper　emphasis　in　reading　aloud。　I　was　in　the　seventh　heaven　of　delight；　but　alas！　we　had　only　reached　the　second　act　of　the　play；　when　the　readings　mysteriously　stopped。　I　never　knew　the　cause；　but　I　suspect　that　it　was　at　my　Father's　desire。　He　prided　himself　on　never　having　read　a　page　of　Shakespeare；　and　on　never　having　entered　a　theatre　but　once。　I　think　I　must　have　spoken　at　home　about　the　readings；　and　that　he　must　have　given　the　schoolmaster　a　hint　to　return　to　the　ordinary　school　curriculum。

The　fact　that　I　was　'a　believer'；　as　it　was　our　custom　to　call　one　who　had　been　admitted　to　the　arcana　of　our　religion；　and　that　therefore；　in　all　commerce　with　'unbelievers'；　it　was　my　duty　to　be　'testifying　for　my　Lord；　in　season　and　out　of　season'this　prevented　my　forming　any　intimate　friendships　at　my　first　school。　I　shrank　from　the　toilsome　and　embarrassing　act　of　button…holing　a　schoolfellow　as　he　rushed　out　of　class；　and　of　pressing　upon　him　the　probably　unintelligible　question　'Have　you　found　Jesus？'　It　was　simpler　to　avoid　him；　to　slip　like　a　lizard　though　the　laurels　and　emerge　into　solitude。

The　boys　had　a　way　of　plunging　out　into　the　road　in　front　of　the　school…villa　when　afternoon　school　was　over；　it　was　a　pleasant　rural　road　lined　with　high　hedges　and　shadowed　by　elmtrees。　Here；　especially　towards　the　summer　twilight；　they　used　to　linger　and　play　vague　games；　swooping　and　whirling　in　the　declining　sunshine；　and　I　was　glad　to　join　these　bat…like　sports。　But　my　company；　though　not　avoided；　was　not　greatly　sought　for。　I　think　that　something　of　my　curious　history　was　known；　and　that　I　was；　not　unkindly　but　instinctively；　avoided；　as　an　animal　of　a　different　species；　not　allied　to　the　herd。　The　conventionality　of　little　boys　is　constant；　the　colour　of　their　traditions　is　uniform。　At　the　same　time；　although　I　made　no　friends；　I　found　no　enemies。　In　class；　except　in　my　extraordinary　aptitude　for　geography；　which　was　looked　upon　as　incomprehensible　and　almost　uncanny；　I　was　rather　behind　than　in　front　of　the　others。　I；　therefore；　awakened　no　jealousies；　and；　intent　on　my　own　dreams；　I　think　my　little　shadowy　presence　escaped　the　notice　of　most　of　my　schoolfellows。

By　the　side　of　the　road　I　have　mentioned；　between　the　school　and　my　home；　there　was　a　large　horse…pond。　The　hedge　folded　around　three　sides　of　it；　while　ancient　pollard　elms　bent　over　it；　and　chequered　with　their　foliage　in　it　the　reflection　of　the　sky。　The　roadside　edge　of　this　pond　was　my　favourite　station；　it　consisted　of　a　hard　clay　which　could　be　moulded　into　fairly　tenacious　forms。　Here　I　created　a　maritime　empireislands；　a