father and son-第27节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


the　elders　ministered　to　them；　with　explanation；　exhortation　and　prayer。　Such　persons　were　in　a　gracious　state；　but　they　were　not　in　a　state　of　grace。　If　they　should　suddenly　die；　they　would　pass　away　in　an　unconverted　condition；　and　all　that　could　be　said　in　their　favour　was　a　vague　expression　of　hope　that　they　would　benefit　from　God's　uncovenanted　mercies。

But　on　some　day；　at　some　hour　and　minute；　if　life　was　spared　to　them；　the　way　of　salvation　would　be　revealed　to　these　persons　in　such　an　aspect　that　they　would　be　enabled　instantaneously　to　accept　it。　They　would　take　it　consciously；　as　one　takes　a　gift　from　the　hand　that　offers　it。　This　act　of　taking　was　the　process　of　conversion；　and　the　person　who　so　accepted　was　a　child　of　God　now；　although　a　single　minute　ago　he　had　been　a　child　of　wrath。　The　very　root　of　human　nature　had　to　be　changed；　and；　in　the　majority　of　cases；　this　change　was　sudden；　patent；　and　palpable。

I　have　just　said；　'in　the　majority　of　cases'；　because　my　Father　admitted　the　possibility　of　exceptions。　The　formula　was；　'If　any　man　hath　not　the　Spirit　of　Christ；　he　is　none　of　his。'　As　a　rule；　no　one　could　possess　the　Spirit　of　Christ；　without　a　conscious　and　full　abandonment　of　the　soul；　and　this；　however　carefully　led　up　to；　and　prepared　for　with　tears　and　renunciations；　was　not；　could　not；　be　made；　except　at　a　set　moment　of　time。　Faith；　in　an　esoteric　and　almost　symbolic　sense；　was　necessary；　and　could　not　be　a　result　of　argument；　but　was　a　state　of　heart。　In　these　opinions　my　Father　departed　in　no　ways　from　the　strict　evangelical　doctrine　of　the　Protestant　churches；　but　he　held　it　in　a　mode　and　with　a　severity　peculiar　to　himself。　Now；　it　is　plain　that　this　state　of　heart；　this　voluntary　deed　of　acceptance；　presupposed　a　full　and　rational　consciousness　of　the　relations　of　things。　It　might　be　clearly　achieved　by　a　person　of　humble　cultivation；　but　only　by　one　who　was　fully　capable　of　independent　thought；　in　other　words　by　a　more　or　less　adult　person；　The　man　or　woman　claiming　the　privileges　of　conversion　must　be　able　to　understand　and　to　grasp　what　his　religious　education　was　aiming　at。

It　is　extraordinary　what　trouble　it　often　gave　my　Father　to　know　whether　he　was　justified　in　admitting　to　the　communion　people　of　very　limited　powers　of　expression。　A　harmless；　humble　labouring　man　would　come　with　a　request…to　be　allowed　to　'break　bread'。　It　was　only　by　the　use　of　strong　leading　questions　that　he　could　be　induced　to　mention　Christ　as　the　ground　of　his　trust　at　all。　I　recollect　an　elderly　agricultural　labourer　being　closeted　for　a　long　time　with　my　Father；　who　came　out　at　last；　in　a　sort　of　dazed　condition；　and　replied　to　our　inquiries；with　a　shrug　of　his　shoulders　as　he　said　it；'I　was　obliged　to　put　the　Name　and　Blood　and　Work　of　Jesus　into　his　very　mouth。　It　is　true　that　he　assented　cordially　at　last；　but　I　confess　I　was　grievously　daunted　by　the　poor　intelligence！'

But　there　was；　or　there　might　be；　another　class　of　persona；　whom　early　training；　separation　from　the　world；　and　the　care　of　godly　parents　had　so　early　familiarized　with　the　acceptable　calling　of　Christ　that　their　conversion　had　occurred；　unperceived　and　therefore　unrecorded；　at　an　extraordinarily　earl　age。　It　would　be　in　vain　to　look　for　a　repetition　of　the　phenomenon　in　those　cases。　The　heavenly　fire　must　not　be　expected　to　descend　a　second　time；　the　lips　are　touched　with　the　burning　coal　once；　and　once　only。　If；　accordingly；　these　precociously　selected　spirits　are　to　be　excluded　because　no　new　birth　is　observed　in　them　at　a　mature　age；　they　must　continue　outside　inhe　cold；　since　the　phenomenon　cannot　be　repeated。　When；　therefore；　there　is　not　possible　any　further　doubt　of　their　being　in　possession　of　salvation；　longer　delay　is　useless；　and　worse　than　useless。　The　fact　of　conversion；　though　not　recorded　nor　even　recollected；　must　be　accepted　on　the　evidence　of　confession　of　faith；　and　as　soon　as　the　intelligence　is　evidently　developed；　the　person　not　merely　may；　but　should　be　accepted　into　communion；　although　still　immature　in　body；　although　in　years　still　even　a　child。　This　my　Father　believed　to　be　my　case；　and　in　this　rare　class　did　he　fondly　persuade　himself　to　station　me。

As　I　have　said；　the　congregation；although　docile　and　timid；　and　little　able；　as　units；　to　hold　their　own　against　their　minister　behind　his　back　were　faintly　hostile　to　this　plan。　None　of　their　own　children　had　ever　been　so　much　as　suggested　for　membership；　and　each　of　themselves；　in　ripe　years；　had　been　subjected　to　severe　cross…examination。　I　think　it　was　rather　a　bitter　pill　for　some　of　them　to　swallow　that　a　pert　little　boy　of　ten　should　be　admitted；　as　a　grown…up　person；　to　all　the　hard…won　privileges　of　their　order。　Mary　Grace　Burmington　came　back　from　her　visits　to　the　cottagers；　reporting　disaffection　here　and　there；　grumblings　in　the　rank　and　file。　But　quite　as　many；　especially　of　the　women；　enthusiastically　supported　my　Father's　wish；　gloried　aloud　in　the　manifestations　of　my　early　piety；　and　professed　to　see　in　it　something　of　miraculous　promise。　The　expression　'another　Infant　Samuel'　was　widely　used。　I　became　quite　a　subject　of　contention。　A　war　of　the　sexes　threatened　to　break　out　over　me；　I　was　a　disturbing　element　at　cottage　breakfasts。　I　was　mentioned　at　public　prayer…meetings；　not　indeed　by　name　but；　in　the　extraordinary　allusive　way　customary　in　our　devotions；　as　'one　amongst　us　of　tender　years'　or　as　'a　sapling　in　the　Lord's　vineyard'。

To　all　this　my　Father　put　a　stop　in　his　own　high…handed　fashion。　After　the　morning　meeting；　one　Sunday　in　the　autumn　of　1859；　he　desired　the　attention　of　the　Saints　to　a　personal　matter　which　was；　perhaps；　not　unfamiliar　to　them　by　rumour。　That　was；　he　explained；　the　question　of　the　admission　of　his；　beloved　little　son　to　the　communion　of　saints　in　the　breaking　of　bread。　He　allowedand　I　sat　there　in　evidence；　palely　smiling　at　the　audience；　my　feet　scarcely　touching　the　groundthat　I　was　not　what　is　styled　adult；　I　was　not；　he　frankly　admitted；　a　grown…up　person。　But　I　was　adult　in　a　knowledge　of　the　Lord；　I　possessed　an　insight　into　the　plan　of　salvation　which　many　a　hoary　head　might　envy　for　its　fullness；　its　clearness；　its　conformity　with　Scripture　doctrine。　This　was　a　palpable　hit　at　more　than　one　stumbler　and　fumbler　after　the　truth；　and　several　hoary　heads　were　bowed。

My　Father　then　went　on　to　explain　very　fully　the　position　which　I　have　already　attempted　to　define。　He　admitted　the　absence　in　my　case　of　a　sudden；　apparent　act　of　conversion　resulting　upon　conviction　of　sin。　But　he　stated　the　grounds　of　his　belief　that　I　had；　in　still　earlier　infancy；　been　converted；　and　he　declared　that　if　so；　I　ought　no　longer　to　be　excluded　from　the　privileges　of　communion。　He　said；　moreover；　that　he　was　willing　on　this　occasion　to　waive　his　own　privilege　as　a　minister；　and　that　he　would　rather　call　on　Brother　Fawkes　and　Brother　Bere；　the　leading　elders；　to　examine　the　candidate　in　his　stead。　This　was　a　master…　stroke；　for　Brothers　Fawkes　and　Bere　had　been　suspected　of　leading　the　disaffection；　and　this　threw　all　the　burden　of　responsibility　on　them。　The　meeting　broke　up　in　great　amiability；　and　my　Father　and　I　went　home　together　in　the　very　highest　of　spirits。　I；　indeed；　in　my　pride；　crossed　the　verge　of　indiscretion　by　saying：　'When　I　have　been　admitted　to　fellowship；　Papa；　shall　I　be　allowed　to　call　you　〃beloved　Brother〃？'　My　Father　was　too　well　pleased　with　the　morning's　work　to　be　critical。　He　laughed；　and　answered：　'　That；　my　Love；　though　strictly　correct；　would　hardly；　I　fear；　be　thought　judicious！'

It　was　suggested　that　my　tenth　birthday；　which　followed　this　public　announcement　by　a　few　days；　would　be　a　capital　occasion　for　me　to　go　through　the　ordeal。　Accordingly；　after　dark　（for　our　new　lamp　was　lighted　for　the　first　time　in　honour　of　the　event）；　I　withdrew　alone　into　our　drawing…room；　which　had　just；　at　length；　been　furnished；　and　which　looked；　I　thought；　very　smart。　Hither　came　to　me；　first　Brother　Fawkes；　by　himself；　then　Brother　Bere；　by　himself；　and　then　both　together；　so　that　you　may　say；　if　you　are　pedanticaly　inclined；　that　I　underwent　three　successive　interviews。　My　Father；　out　of　sight　somewhere；　was；　of　course；　playing　the　part　of　stage　manager。

I　felt　not　at　all　shy；　but　so　highly　strung　that　my　whole　nature　seemed　to　throb　with　excitement。　My　first　examiner；　on　the　other　hand；　was　extremely　confused。　Fawkes；　who　was　a　builder　in　a　small　business　of　his　own；　was　short　and　fat；　his　complexion；　which　wore　a　deeper　and　more　uniform　rose…colour　than　usual；　I　observed　to　be　starred　with　dew…drops　of　nervous　emotion；　which　he　wiped　away　at　intervals　with　a　large　bandana　handkerchief。　He　was　so　long　in　coming　to　the　point；　that　I　was　obliged　to　lead　him　to　it　myself；　and　I　sat　up　on　the　sofa　in　the　full　lamplight；　and　testified　my　faith　in　the　atonement　with　a　fluency　that　surprised　myself。　Before　I　had　done；　Fawkes；　a　middle…aged　man　with　the　reputation　of　being　a　very　stiff　employer　of　labour；　was　weeping　like　a　child。

Bere；　the　carpenter；　a　long；　thin　and　dry　man；　with　a　curiously　immobile　eye；　did　not　fall　so　easily　a　prey　to　my　fascinations。　He　put　me　through　my　paces　very　sharply；　for　he　had　som