father and son-第24节

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　subjected　to　none　of　the　sufferings　which　seemed　to　assail　my　path。

What　the　ideas　or　conduct　of　'another　child'　might　be　I　had；　however；　at　this　time　no　idea；　for；　strange　as　it　may　sound；　I　had　not；　until　my　tenth　year　was　far　advanced；　made　acquaintance　with　any　such　creature。　The　'saints'　had　children；　but　I　was　not　called　upon　to　cultivate　their　company；　and　I　had　not　the　slightest　wish　to　do　so。　But　early　in　1859　I　was　allowed；　at　last；　to　associate　with　a　child　of　my　own　age。　I　do　not　recall　that　this　permission　gave　me　any　rapture；　I　accepted　it　philosophically　but　without　that　delighted　eagerness　which　I　might　have　been　expected　to　show。　My　earliest　companion；　then；　was　a　little　boy　of　almost　exactly　my　own　age。　His　name　was　Benny；　which　no　doubt　was　short　for　Benjamin。　His　surname　was　Jeffries；　his　motherI　think　he　had　no　fatherwas　a　solemn　and　shadowy　lady　of　means　who　lived　in　a　villa；　which　was　older　and　much　larger　than　ours；　on　the　opposite　side　of　the　road。　Going　to　'play　with　Benny'　involved　a　small　public　excursion；　and　this　I　was　now　allowed　to　make　by　myselfan　immense　source　of　self…　respect。

Everything　in　my　little　memories　seems　to　run　askew；　obviously　I　ought　to　have　been　extremely　stirred　and　broadened　by　this　earliest　association　with　a　boy　of　my　own　age！　Yet　I　cannot　truly　say　that　it　was　so。　Benny's　mother　possessed　what　seemed　to　me　a　vast　domain；　with　lawns　winding　among　broad　shrubberies；　and　a　kitchen…garden；　with　aged　fruit…trees　in　it。　The　ripeness　of　this　place；　mossed　and　leafy；　was　gratifying　to　my　senses；　on　which　the　rawness　of　our　own　bald　garden　jarred。　There　was　an　old　brick　wall　between　the　two　divisions；　upon　which　it　was　possible　for　us　to　climb　up；　and　from　this　we　gained　Pisgah…views　which　were　a　prodigious　pleasure。　But　I　had　not　the　faintest　idea　how　to　'play'；　I　had　never　learned；　had　never　heard　of　any　'games'。　I　think　Benny　must　have　lacked　initiative　almost　as　much　as　I　did。　We　walked　about；　and　shook　the　bushes；　and　climbed　along　the　wall；　I　think　that　was　almost　all　we　ever　did　do。　And；　sadly　enough；　I　cannot　recover　a　phrase　from　Benny's　lips；　nor　an　action；　nor　a　gesture；　although　I　remember　quite　clearly　how　some　grown…up　people　of　that　time　looked；　and　the　very　words　they　said。

For　example；　I　recollect　Miss　Wilkes　very　distinctly；　since　I　studied　her　with　great　deliberation；　and　with　a　suspicious　watchfulness　that　was　above　my　years。　In　Miss　Wilkes　a　type　that　had　hitherto　been　absolutely　unfamiliar　to　us　obtruded　upon　our　experience。　In　our　Eveless　Eden；　Woman；　if　not　exactly　hirsuta　et　horrida；　had　always　been　'of　a　certain　age'。　But　Miss　Wilkes　was　a　comparatively　young　thing；　and　she　advanced　not　by　any　means　unconscious　of　her　charms。　All　was　feminine；　all　was　impulsive；　about　Miss　Wilkes；　every　gesture　seemed　eloquent　with　girlish　innocence　and　the　playful　dawn　of　life。　In　actual　years　I　fancy　she　was　not　so　extremely　youthful；　since　she　was　the　responsible　and　trusted　headmistress　of　a　large　boarding…school　for　girls；　but　in　her　heart　the　joy　of　life　ran　high。　Miss　Wilkes　had　a　small；　round　face；　with　melting　eyes；　and　when　she　lifted　her　head；　her　ringlets　seemed　to　vibrate　and　shiver　like　the　bells　of　a　pagoda。　She　had　a　charming　way　of　clasping　her　hands；　and　holding　them　against　her　bodice；　while　she　said；　'Oh；　butreally　now？'　in　a　manner　inexpressibly　engaging。　She　was　very　earnest；　and　she　had　a　pleading　way　of　calling　out：　'O；　but　aren't　you　teasing　me？'　which　would　have　brought　a　tiger　fawning　to　her　crinoline。

After　we　had　spent　a　full　year　without　any　social　distractions；　it　seems　that　our　circle　of　acquaintances　had　now　begun　to　extend；　in　spite　of　my　Father's　unwillingness　to　visit　his　neighbours。　He　was　a　fortress　that　required　to　be　stormed；　but　there　was　considerable　local　curiosity　about　him；　so　that　by…and…　by　escalading　parties　were　formed；　some　of　which　were　partly　successful。　In　the　first　place；　Charles　Kingsley　had　never　hesitated　to　come；　from　the　beginning；　ever　since　our　arrival。　He　had　reason　to　visit　our　neighbouring　town　rather　frequently；　and　on　such　occasions　he　always　marched　up　and　attacked　us。　It　was　extraordinary　how　persistent　he　was；　for　my　Father　must　have　been　a　very　trying　friend。　I　vividly　recollect　that　a　sort　of　cross…　examination　of　would…be　communicants　was　going　on　in　our　half…　furnished　drawing…room　one　weekday　morning；　when　Mr。　Kingsley　was　announced；　my　Father；　in　stentorian　tones；　replied：　'Tell　Mr。　Kingsley　that　I　am　engaged　in　examining　Scripture　with　certain　of　the　Lord's　children。'　And　I；　a　little　later；　kneeling　at　the　window；　while　the　candidates　were　being　dismissed　with　prayer；　watched　the　author　of　Hypatia　nervously　careening　about　the　garden；　very　restless　and　impatient；　yet　preferring　this　ignominy　to　the　chance　of　losing　my　Father's　company　altogether。　Kingsley；　a　daring　spirit；　used　sometimes　to　drag　us　out　trawling　with　him　in　Torbay；　and　although　his　hawk's　beak　and　rattling　voice　frightened　me　a　little；　his　was　always　a　jolly　presence　that　brought　some　refreshment　to　our　seriousness。

But　the　other　visitors　who　came　in　Kingsley's　wake　and　without　his　excuse　how　they　disturbed　us！　We　used　to　be　seated；　my　Father　at　his　microscope；　I　with　my　map　or　book；　in　the　down…　stairs　room　we　called　the　study。　There　would　be　a　hush　around　us　in　which　you　could　hear　a　sea…anemone　sigh。　Then；　abruptly；　would　come　a　ring　at　the　front　door；　my　Father　would　bend　at　me　a　corrugated　brow；　and　murmur；　under　his　breath；　'What's　that？　and　then；　at　the　sound　o￡　footsteps；　would　bolt　into　the　verandah；　and　around　the　garden　into　the　potting…shed。　If　it　was　no　visitor　more　serious　than　the　postman　or　the　tax…gatherer；　I　used　to　go　forth　and　coax　the　timid　wanderer　home。　If　it　was　a　caller；　above　all　a　female　caller；　it　was　my　privilege　to　prevaricate；　remarking　innocently　that　'Papa　is　out！'

Into　a　paradise　so　carefully　guarded；　I　know　not　how　that　serpent　Miss　Wilkes　could　penetrate；　but　there　she　was。　She　'broke　bread'　with　the　Brethren　at　the　adjacent　town；　from　which　she　carried　on　strategical　movements；　which　were；　up　to　a　certain　point；　highly　successful。　She　professed　herself　deeply　interested　in　microscopy；　and　desired　that　some　of　her　young　ladies　should　study　it　also。　She　came　attended　by　an　unimportant　man；　and　by　pupils　to　whom　I　had　sometimes；　very　unwillingly；　to　show　our　'natural　objects'。　They　would　invade　us；　and　all　our　quietness　with　chattering　noise；　I　could　bear　none　of　them；　and　I　was　singularly　drawn　to　Miss　Marks　by　finding　that　she　disliked　them　too。

By　whatever　arts　she　worked；　Miss　Wilkes　certainly　achieved　a　certain　ascendancy。　When　the　knocks　came　at　the　front　door；　I　was　now　instructed　to　see　whether　the　visitor　were　not　she；　before　my　Father　bolted　to　the　potting…shed。　She　was　an　untiring　listener；　and　my　Father　had　a　genius　for　instruction。　Miss　Wilkes　was　never　weary　of　expressing　what　a　revelation　of　the　wonderful　works　of　God　in　creation　her　acquaintance　with　us　had　been。　She　would　gaze　through　the　microscope　at　awful　forms；　and　would　persevere　until　the　silver　rim　which　marked　the　confines　of　the　drop　of　water　under　inspection　would　ripple　inwards　with　a　flash　of　light　and　vanish；　because　the　drop　itself　had　evaporated。　'Well；　I　can　only　say；　how　marvellous　are　Thy　doings！'　was　a　frequent　ejaculation　of　Miss　Wilkes；　and　one　that　was　very　well　received。　She　learned　the　Latin　names　of　many　of　the　species；　and　it　seems　quite　pathetic　to　me；　looking　back；　to　realize　how　much　trouble　the　poor　woman　took。　She　'hung'；　as　the　expression　is；　upon　my　Father's　every　word；　and　one　instance　of　this　led　to　a　certain　revelation。

My　Father；　who　had　an　extraordinary　way　of　saying　anything　what　Came　into　his　mind；　stated　one　day；the　fashions；　I　must　suppose；　being　under　discussion；that　he　thought　white　the　only　becoming　colour　for　a　lady's　stockings。　The　stockings　of　Miss　Wilkes　had　up　to　that　hour　been　of　a　deep　violet；　but　she　wore　white　ones　in　future　whenever　she　came　to　our　house。　This　delicacy　would　have　been　beyond　my　unaided　infant　observation；　but　I　heard　Miss　Marks　mention　the　matter；　in　terms　which　they　supposed　to　be　secret；　to　her　confidante；　and　I　verified　it　at　the　ankles　of　the　lady。　Miss　Marks　continued　by　saying；　in　confidence；　and　'quite　as　between　you　and　me；　dear　Mary　Grace'；　that　Miss　Wilkes　was　a　'minx'。　I　had　the　greatest　curiosity　about　words；　and　as　this　was　a　new　one；　I　looked　it　up　in　our　large　English　Dictionary。　But　there　the　definition　of　the　term　was　this：'Minx：　the　female　of　minnock；　a　pert　wanton。'　I　was　as　much　in　the　dark　as　ever。

Whether　she　was　the　female　of　a　minnock　（whatever　that　may　be）　or　whether　she　was　only　a　very　well…meaning　schoolmistress　desirous　of　enlivening　a　monotonous　existence；　Miss　Wilkes　certainly　took　us　out　of　ourselves　a　good　deal。　Did　my　Father　know　what　danger　he　ran？　It　was　the　opinion　of　Miss　Marks　and　of　Mary　Grace　that　he　did　not；　and　in　the　back…kitchen；　a　room　which　served　those　ladies　as　a　private　oratory　in　the　summer…time；　much　prayer　was　offered　up　that　his　eyes　might　be　opened　ere　it　was　too　late。　But　I　am　inclined　to　think　that　they　were　open　all　the　time；　that；　at　all　events；　they　were　what　the　French　call　entr'ouvert；