the dwelling place of ligh-第76节

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little　stage；　smoking　his　cigars　and　reading　his　newspapers。

Janet's　nerves　were　taut。　　There　had　been　times　during　the　past　weeks
when　she　had　been　aware　of　new　and　vaguely　disquieting　portents。
Inexperience　had　led　her　to　belittle　them；　and　the　absorbing　nature　of
her　work；　the　excitement　due　to　the　strange　life　of　conflict；　of　new
ideas；　into　which　she　had　so　unreservedly　flung　herself；　the　resentment
that　galvanized　herall　these　had　diverted　her　from　worry。　　At　night；
hers　had　been　the　oblivious　slumber　of　the　weary。。。。　　And　then；　as　a
desperate　wayfarer；　pressing　on；　feels　a　heavy　drop　of　rain　and　glances
up　to　perceive　the　clouds　that　have　long　been　gathering；　she　awoke　in　the
black　morning　hours；　and　fear　descended　upon　her。　　Suddenly　her　brain
became　hideously　active　as　she　lay；　dry…upped；　staring　into　the　darkness；
striving　to　convince　herself　that　it　could　not　be。　　But　the　thing　had　its
advocate；　also；　to　summon　ingeniously；　in　cumulative　array；　those　omens
she　had　ignored：　to　cause　her　to　piece　together；　in　this　moment　of
torture；　portions　of　the　knowledge　of　sexual　facts　that　prudery　banishes
from　education；　a　smattering　of　which　reaches　the　ears　of　such　young
women　as　Janet　in　devious；　roundabout　ways。　　Several　times；　in　the　month
just　past；　she　had　had　unwonted　attacks　of　dizziness；　of　faintness；　and
on　one　occasion　Anna　Mower；　alarmed；　had　opened　the　window　of　the
bibliotheque　and　thrust　her　into　the　cold　air。　　Now；　with　a　pang　of　fear
she　recalled　what　Anna　had　said：

〃You're　working　too　hardyou　hadn't　ought　to　stay　here　nights。　　If　it
was　some　girls　I've　met；　I'd　know　what　to　think。〃

Strange　that　the　significance　of　this　sentence　had　failed　to　penetrate
her　consciousness　until　now！　　〃If　it　was　some　girls　I've　met；　I'd　know
what　to　think！〃　　It　had　come　into　her　mind　abruptly；　and　always；　when　she
sought　to　reassure　herself；　to　declare　her　terror　absurd；　it　returned　to
confront　her。　　Heat　waves　pulsed　through　her；　she　grew　intolerably　warm；
perspiration　started　from　her　pores；　and　she　flung　off　the　blankets。　　The
rain　from　the　roofs　was　splashing　on　the　bricks　of　the　passage。。。。　　What
would　Mr。　Insall　say；　if　he　knew？　and　Mrs。　Maturin？　　She　could　never　see
them　again。　　Now　there　was　no　one　to　whom　to　turn；　she　was　cut　off；
utterly；　from　humanity；　an　outcast。　　Like　Lise！　　And　only　a　little　while
ago　she　and　Lise　had　lain　in　that　bed　together！　　Was　there　not　somebody　…
…God？　　Other　people　believed　in　God；　prayed　to　him。　　She　tried　to　say；
〃Oh　God；　deliver　me　from　this　thing！。〃　　but　the　words　seemed　a　mockery。
After　all；　it　was　mechanical；　it　had　either　happened　or　it　hadn't
happened。　　A　life…long　experience　in　an　environment　where　only　unpleasant
things　occurred；　where　miracles　were　unknown；　had　effaced　a　fleeting；
childhood　belief　in　miracles。　　Cause　and　effect　were　the　rule。　　And　if
there　were　a　God　who　did　interfere；　why　hadn't　he　interfered　before　this
thing　happened？　　Then　would　have　been　the　logical　time。　　Why　hadn't　he
informed　her　that　in　attempting　to　escape　from　the　treadmill　in　which　he
had　placed　her；　in　seeking　happiness；　she　had　been　courting　destruction？
Why　had　he　destroyed　Lise？　　And　if　there　were　a　God；　would　he　comfort　her
now；　convey　to　her　some　message　of　his　sympathy　and　love？　　No　such
message；　alas；　seemed　to　come　to　her　through　the　darkness。

After　a　whilea　seemingly　interminable　whilethe　siren　shrieked；　the
bells　jangled　loudly　in　the　wet　air；　another　day　had　come。　　Could　she
face　iteven　the　murky　grey　light　of　this　that　revealed　the　ashes　and
litter　of　the　back　yard　under　the　downpour？　　The　act　of　dressing　brought
a　slight　relief；　and　then；　at　breakfast；　a　numbness　stole　over　her
suggested　and　conveyed；　perchance；　by　the　apathy　of　her　mother。
Something　had　killed　suffering　in　Hannah；　perhaps　she　herself　would
mercifully　lose　the　power　to　suffer！　　But　the　thought　made　her　shudder。
She　could　not；　like　her　mother；　find　a　silly　refuge　in　shining　dishes；　in
cleaning　pots　and　pans；　or　sit　idle；　vacant…minded；　for　long　hours　in　a
spotless　kitchen。　　What　would　happen　to　her？。。。　　Howbeit；　the　ache　that
had　tortured　her　became　a　dull；　leaden　pain；　like　that　she　had　known　at
another　time　…how　long　agowhen　the　suffering　caused　by　Ditmar's
deception　had　dulled；　when　she　had　sat　in　the　train　on　her　way　back　to
Hampton　from　Boston；　after　seeing　Lise。　　The　pain　would　throb　again；
unsupportably；　and　she　would　wake；　and　this　time　it　would　drive　hershe
knew　not　where。

She　was　certain；　now；　that　the　presage　of　the　night　was　true。。。。

She　reached　Franco…Belgian　Hall　to　find　it　in　an　uproar。　　Anna　Mower　ran
up　to　her　with　the　news　that　dynamite　had　been　discovered　by　the　police
in　certain　tenements　of　the　Syrian　quarter；　that　the　tenants　had　been
arrested　and　taken　to　the　police　station　where；　bewildered　and　terrified；
they　had　denied　any　knowledge　of　the　explosive。　　Dynamite　had　also　been
found　under　the　power　house；　and　in　the　millsthe　sources　of　Hampton's
prosperity。　　And　Hampton　believed；　of　course；　that　this　was　the
inevitable　result　of　the　anarchistic　preaching　of　such　enemies　of　society
as　Jastro　and　Antonelli　if　these；　indeed；　had　not　incited　the　Syrians　to
the　deed。　　But　it　was　a　plot　of　the　mill…owners；　Anna　insistedthey
themselves　had　planted　the　explosive；　adroitly　started　the　rumours；　told
the　police　where　the　dynamite　was　to　be　found。　　Such　was　the　view　that
prevailed　at　Headquarters；　pervaded　the　angrily　buzzing　crowd　that　stood
outsideheedless　of　the　rainand　animated　the　stormy　conferences　in　the
Salle　de　Reunion。

The　day　wore　on。　　In　the　middle　of　the　afternoon；　as　she　was　staring　out
of　the　window；　Anna　Mower　returned　with　more　news。　　Dynamite　had　been
discovered　in　Hawthorne　Street；　and　it　was　rumoured　that　Antonelli　and
Jastro　were　to　be　arrested。

〃You　ought　to　go　home　and　rest；　Janet；〃　she　said　kindly。

Janet　shook　her　head。

〃Rolfe's　back；〃　Anna　informed　her；　after　a　moment。　　〃He's　talking　to
Antonelli　about　another　proclamation　to　let　people　know　who's　to　blame
for　this　dynamite　business。　　I　guess　he'll　be　in　here　in　a　minute　to
dictate　the　draft。　　Say；　hadn't　you　better　let　Minnie　take　it；　and　go
home？〃

〃I'm　not　sick；〃　Janet　repeated；　and　Anna　reluctantly　left　her。

Rolfe　had　been　absent　for　a　week；　in　New　York；　consulting　with　some　of
the　I。W。W。　leaders；　with　Lockhart；　the　chief　protagonist　of　Syndicalism
in　America；　just　returned　from　Colorado；　to　whom　he　had　given　a　detailed
account　of　the　Hampton　strike。　　And　Lockhart；　next　week；　was　coming　to
Hampton　to　make　a　great　speech　and　look　over　the　ground　for　himself。　　All
this　Rolfe　told　Janet　eagerly　when　he　entered　the　bibliotheque。　　He　was
glad　to　get　back；　he　had　missed　her。

〃But　you　are　pale！〃　he　exclaimed；　as　he　seized　her　hand；　〃and　how　your
eyes　burn！　　You　do　not　take　care　of　yourself　when　I　am　not　here　to　watch
you。〃　　His　air　of　solicitude；　his　assumption　of　a　peculiar　right　to　ask；
might　formerly　have　troubled　and　offended　her。　　Now　she　was　scarcely
aware　of　his　presence。　　〃You　feel　too　muchthat　is　it　you　are　like　a
torch　that　consumes　itself　in　burning。　　But　this　will　soon　be　over；　we
shall　have　them　on　their　knees；　the　capitalists；　before　very　long；　when
it　is　known　what　they　have　done　to…day。　　It　is　too　muchthey　have
overreached　themselves　with　this　plot　of　the　dynamite。

You　have　missed　me；　a　little？〃

〃I　have　been　busy；〃　she　said；　releasing　her　hand　and　sitting　down　at　her
desk　and　taking　up　her　notebook。

〃You　are　not　well；〃　he　insisted。

〃I'm　all　right；〃　she　replied。

He　lit　a　cigarette　and　began　to　pace　the　roomhis　customary　manner　of
preparing　himself　for　the　creative　mood。　　After　a　while　he　began　to
dictatebut　haltingly。　　He　had　come　here　from　Antonelli　all　primed　with
fervour　and　indignation；　but　it　was　evident　that　this　feeling　had　ebbed；
that　his　mind　refused　to　concentrate　on　what　he　was　saying。　　Despite　the
magnificent　opportunity　to　flay　the　capitalists　which　their　most　recent
tactics　afforded　him；　he　paused；　repeated　himself；　and　began　again；
glancing　from　time　to　time　reproachfully；　almost　resentfully　at　Janet。
Usually；　on　these　occasions；　he　was　transported；　almost　inebriated　by　his
own　eloquence；　but　now　he　chafed　at　her　listlessness；　he　was　at　a　loss　to
account　for　the　withdrawal　of　the　enthusiasm　he　had　formerly　been　able　to
arouse。　　Lacking　the　feminine　stimulus；　his　genius　limped。　　For　Rolfe
there　had　been　a　woman　in　every　strikesometimes　two。　　What　had
happened；　during　his　absence；　to　alienate　the　most　promising　of　all
neophytes　he　had　ever　encountered？

〃The　eyes　of　the　world　are　fixed　on　the　workers　of　Hampton！　　They　must　be
true　to　the　trust　their　fellows　have　placed　in　them！　　To…day　the　mill…
owners；　the　masters；　are　at　the　end　of　their　tether。　　Always
unscrupulous；　they　have　descended　to　the　most　despicable　of　tactics　in
order　to　deceive　the　public。　　But　truth　will　prevail！。。。〃　　Rolfe　lit
another　cigarette；　began　a　new　sentence　and　broke　it　off。　　Suddenly　he
stood　over　her。　　〃It's　you！〃　he　said。　　〃You　don't　feel　it；　you　don't　help
me；　you're　not　in　sympathy。〃

He　bent　over　her；　his　red　lips　gleaming　through　his　beard；　a　terrible
hunger　in　his　lustro