the dwelling place of ligh-第41节

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now；　the　boy　resembled　Ditmar；　but　the　features　of　the　girl；　heavy　and
stamped　with　self…indulgence；　were　evidently　reminiscent　of　the　woman　who
had　been　his　wife。　　Then　the　shade　was　pulled　down；　abruptly；　and　Janet；
overcome　by　a　sense　of　horror　at　her　position；　took　to　flight。。。。

When；　after　covering　the　space　of　a　block　she　slowed　down　and　tried　to
imagine　herself　as　established　in　that　house；　the　stepmother　of　those
children；　she　found　it　impossible。　　Despite　the　fact　that　her　attention
had　been　focussed　so　strongly　on　them；　the　fringe　of　her　vision　had
included　their　surroundings；　the　costly　furniture；　the　piano　against　the
farther　wall；　the　music　rack。　　Evidently　the　girl　was　learning　to　play。
She　felt　a　renewed；　intenser　bitterness　against　her　own　lot：　she　was
aware　of　something　within　her　better　and　finer　than　the　girl；　than　the
woman　who　had　been　her　mother　had　possessedthat　in　her；　Janet；　had
lacked　the　advantages　of　development。　　Could　itcould　it　ever　be
developed　now？　　Had　this　love　which　had　come　to　her　brought　her　any
nearer　to　the　unknown　realm　of　light　she　craved？。。。




CHAPTER　XI

Though　December　had　come；　Sunday　was　like　an　April　day　before　whose
sunlight　the　night…mists　of　scruples　and　morbid　fears　were　scattered　and
dispersed。　　And　Janet；　as　she　fared　forth　from　the　Fillmore　Street　flat；
felt　resurging　in　her　the　divine　recklessness　that　is　the　very　sap　of
life。　　The　future；　save　of　the　immediate　hours　to　come；　lost　its　power
over　her。　　The　blue　and　white　beauty　of　the　sky　proclaimed　all　things
possible　for　the　strong；　and　the　air　was　vibrant　with　the　sweet　music　of
bells；　calling　her　to　happiness。　　She　was　going　to　meet　happiness；　to
meet　loveto　meet　Ditmar！　　The　trolley　which　she　took　in　Faber　Street；
though　lagging　in　its　mission；　seemed　an　agent　of　that　happiness　as　it
left　the　city　behind　it　and　wound　along　the　heights　beside　the　tarvia
roadway　above　the　river；　bright　glimpses　of　which　she　caught　through　the
openings　in　the　woods。　　And　when　she　looked　out　of　the　window　on　her
right　she　beheld　on　a　little　forested　rise　a　succession　of　tiny　〃camps〃
built　by　residents　of　Hampton　whose　modest　incomes　could　not　afford　more
elaborate　summer　places；　camps　of　all　descriptions　and　colours；　with
queer　names　that　made　her　smile：　〃The　Cranny；〃　〃The　Nook；〃　〃Snug
Harbour；〃　〃Buena　Vista；〃of　course；which　she　thought　pretty；　though
she　did　not　know　its　meaning；　and　another；　in　German；　equally　perplexing；
〃Klein　aber　Mein。〃　　Though　the　windows　of　these　places　were　now　boarded
up；　though　the　mosquito　netting　still　clung　rather　dismally　to　the
porches；　they　were　mutely　suggestive　of　contentment　and　domestic　joy。

Scarcely　had　she　alighted　from　the　car　at　the　rendezvous　he　had
mentioned；　beside　the　now　deserted　boathouse　where　in　the　warm　weather
the　members　of　the　Hampton　Rowing　Club　disported　themselves；　when　she　saw
an　automobile　approachingand　recognized　it　as　the　gay　〃roadster〃　Ditmar
had　exhibited　to　her　that　summer　afternoon　by　the　canal；　and　immediately
Ditmar　himself；　bringing　it　to　a　stop　and　leaping　from　it；　stood　before
her　in　the　sunlight；　radiating；　as　it　seemed；　more　sunlight　still。　　With
his　clipped；　blond　moustache　and　his　straw…coloured　hairas　yet　but
slightly　grey　at　the　templeshe　looked　a　veritable　conquering　berserker
in　his　huge　coat　of　golden　fur。　　Never　had　he　appeared　to　better
advantage。

〃I　was　waiting　for　you；〃　he　said；　〃I　saw　you　in　the　car。〃　　Turning　to　the
automobile；　he　stripped　the　tissue　paper　from　a　cluster　of　dark　red　roses
with　the　priceless　long　stems　of　which　Lise　used　to　rave　when　she　worked
in　the　flower　store。　　And　he　held　the　flowers　against　her　suit　her　new
suit　she　had　worn　for　this　meeting。

〃Oh；〃　she　cried；　taking　a　deep；　intoxicating　breath　of　their　fragrance。
〃You　brought　thesefor　me？〃

〃From　Bostonmy　beauty！〃

〃But　I　can't　wear　all　of　them！〃

〃Why　not？〃　he　demanded。　　〃Haven't　you　a　pin？〃

She　produced　one；　attaching　them　with　a　gesture　that　seemed　habitual；
though　the　thought　of　their　valuerevealing　in　some　degree　her　own　worth
in　his　eyes…unnerved　her。　　She　was　warmly　conscious　of　his　gaze。　　Then　he
turned；　and　opening　a　compartment　at　the　back　of　the　car　drew　from　it　a
bright　tweed　motor　coat　warmly　lined。

〃Oh；　no！〃　she　protested；　drawing　back。　　〃I'llI'll　be　warm　enough。〃　　But
laughingly；　triumphantly；　he　seized　her　and　thrust　her　arms　in　the
sleeves；　his　fingers　pressing　against　her。　　Overcome　by　shyness；　she　drew
away　from　him。

〃I　made　a　pretty　good　guess　at　the　sizedidn't　I；　Janet？〃　he　cried；
delightedly　surveying　her。　　〃I　couldn't　forget　it！〃　　His　glance　grew　more
concentrated；　warmer；　penetrating。

〃You　mustn't　look　at　me　like　that！〃　she　pleaded　with　lowered　eyes。

〃Why　notyou're　minearen't　you？　　You're　mine；　now。〃

〃I　don't　know。　　There　are　lots　of　things　I　want　to　talk　about；〃　she
replied；　but　her　protest　sounded　feeble；　unconvincing；　even　to　herself。
He　fairly　lifted　her　into　the　automobileit　was　a　caress；　only　tempered
by　the　semipublicity　of　the　place。　　He　was　giving　her　no　time　to　think
but　she　did　not　want　to；　think。　　Starting　the　engine；　he　got　in　and
leaned　toward　her。

〃Not　here！〃　she　exclaimed。

〃All　rightI'll　wait；〃　he　agreed；　tucking　the　robe　about　her　deftly；
solicitously；　and　she　sank　back　against　the　seat；　surrendering　herself　to
the　luxury；　the　wonder　of　being　cherished；　the　caressing　and　sheltering
warmth　she　felt　of　security　and　love；　the　sense　of　emancipation　from
discontent　and　sordidness　and　struggle。　　For　a　moment　she　closed　her
eyes；　but　opened　them　again　to　behold　the　transformed　image　of　herself
reflected　in　the　windshield　to　confirm　the　illusionif　indeed　it　were
one！　　The　tweed　coat　seemed　startlingly　white　in　the　sunlight；　and　the
woman　she　saw；　yet　recognized　as　herself；　was　one　of　the　fortunately
placed　of　the　earth　with　power　and　beauty　at　her　command！　　And　she　could
no　longer　imagine　herself　as　the　same　person　who　the　night　before　had
stood　in　front　of　the　house　in　Warren　Street。　　The　car　was　speeding　over
the　smooth　surface　of　the　boulevard；　the　swift　motion；　which　seemed　to
her　like　that　of　flying；　the　sparkling　air；　the　brightness　of　the　day；
the　pressure　of　Ditmar's　shoulder　against　hers；　thrilled　her。　　She
marvelled　at　his　sure　command　over　the　machine；　that　responded　like　a
live　thing　to　his　touch。　　On　the　wide；　straight　stretches　it　went　at　a
mad　pace　that　took　her　breath；　and　again；　in　turning　a　corner　or　passing
another　car；　it　slowed　down；　purring　in　meek　obedience。　　Once　she　gasped：
〃Not　so　fast！　　I　can't　stand　it。〃

He　laughed　and　obeyed　her。　　They　glided　between　river　and　sky　across　the
delicate　fabric　of　a　bridge　which　but　a　moment　before　she　had　seen　in　the
distance。　　Running　through　the　little　village　on　the　farther　bank；　they
left　the　river。

〃Where　are　you　going？〃　she　asked。

〃Oh；　for　a　little　spin；〃　he　answered　indulgently；　turning　into　a　side
road　that　wound　through　the　woods　and　suddenly　stopping。　　〃Janet；　we've
got　this　daythis　whole　day　to　ourselves。〃　　He　seized　and　drew　her　to
him；　and　she　yielded　dizzily；　repaying　the　passion　of　his　kiss；　forgetful
of　past　and　future　while　he　held　her；　whispering　brokenly　endearing
phrases。

〃You'll　ruin　my　roses；〃　she　protested　breathlessly；　at　last；　when　it
seemed　that　she　could　no　longer　bear　this　embrace；　nor　the　pressure　of
his　lips。　　〃There！　you　see　you're　crushing　them！〃　　She　undid　them；　and
buttoning　the　coat；　held　them　to　her　face。　　Their　odour　made　her　faint：
her　eyes　were　clouded。

〃Listen；　Claude！〃　she　said　at　last；it　was　the　first　time　she　had　called
him　sogetting　free。　　〃You　must　be　sensible！　some　one　might　come　along。〃

〃I'll　never　get　enough　of　you！〃　he　said。　　〃I　can't　believe　it　yet。〃　　And
added　irrelevantly：　〃Pin　the　roses　outside。〃

She　shook　her　head。　　Something　in　her　protested　against　this　too　public
advertisement　of　their　love。

〃I'd　rather　hold　them；〃　she　answered。　　〃Let's　go　on。〃　　He　started　the　car
again。　　〃Listen；　I　want　to　talk　to　you；　seriously。　　I've　been　thinking。〃

〃Don't　I　know　you've　been　thinking！〃　he　told　her　exuberantly。　　〃If　I
could　only　find　out　what's　always　going　on　in　that　little　head　of　yours！
If　you　keep　on　thinking　you'll　dry　up；　like　a　New　England　school…marm。
And　now　do　you　know　what　you　are？　　One　of　those　dusky　red　roses　just
ready　to　bloom。　　Some　day　I'll　buy　enough　to　smother　you　in　'em。〃

〃Listen！〃　she　repeated；　making　a　great　effort　to　calm　herself；　to　regain
something　of　that　frame　of　mind　in　which　their　love　had　assumed　the
proportions　of　folly　and　madness；　to　summon　up　the　scruples　which；　before
she　had　left　home　that　morning；　she　had　resolved　to　lay　before　him；　which
she　knew　would　return　when　she　could　be　alone　again。　　〃I　have　to　think
you　won't；〃　she　exclaimed；　with　a　fleeting　smile。

〃Well；　what　is　it？〃　he　assented。　　〃You　might　as　well　get　it　off　now。〃

And　it　took　all　her　strength　to　say：　〃I　don't　see　how　I　can　marry　you。
I've　told　you　the　reasons。　　You're　rich；　and　you　have　friends　who
wouldn't　understandand　your　childrenthey　wouldn't　understand。　　II'm
nothing；　I　know　it　isn't　right；　I　know　you　wouldn't　be　happy。　　I've　never
livedin　the　kind　of　house　you