the dwelling place of ligh-第33节

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〃Well；　dreams　never　come　up　to　expectations；　do　they？〃

〃Then　it's　dreaming　I　am；　still；〃　retorted　Mr。　Tiernan；　quickly。

Janet　laughed。　　His　tone；　though　bantering；　was　respectful。　　One　of　the
secrets　of　Mr。　Tiernan's　very　human　success　was　due　to　his　ability　to
estimate　his　fellow　creatures。　　His　manner　of　treating　Janet；　for
instance；　was　quite　different　from　that　he　employed　in　dealing　with　Lise。
In　the　course　of　one　interview　he　had　conveyed　to　Lise；　without　arousing
her　antagonism；　the　conviction　that　it　was　wiser　to　trust　him　than　to
attempt　to　pull　wool　over　his　eyes。　　Janet　had　the　intelligence　to　trust
him；　and　to…night；　as　she　faced　him；　the　fact　was　brought　home　to　her
with　peculiar　force　that　this　wiry…haired　little　man　was　the　person　above
all　others　of　her　immediate　acquaintance　to　seek　in　time　of　trouble。　　It
was　his　great　quality。　　Moreover；　Mr。　Tiernan；　even　in　his　morning
greetings　as　she　passed；　always　contrived　to　convey　to　her；　in　some
unaccountable　fashion；　the　admiration　and　regard　in　which　he　held　her；
and　the　effect　of　her　contact　with　him　was　invariably　to　give　her　a
certain　objective　image　of　herself；　an　increased　self…confidence　and
self…respect。　　For　instance；　by　the　light　dancing　in　Mr。　Tiernan's　eyes
as　he　regarded　her；　she　saw　herself　now　as　the　mainstay　of　the　helpless
family　in　the　clay…yellow　flat　across　the　street。　　And　there　was　nothing；
she　was　convinced；　Mr。　Tiernan　did　not　know　about　that　family。　　So　she
said：

〃I've　come　to　see　about　the　stove。〃

〃Sure；〃　he　replied；　as　much　as　to　say　that　the　visit　was　not　unexpected。
〃Well；　I've　been　thinking　about　it；　Miss　Janet。　　I've　got　a　stove　here　I
know'll　suit　your　mother。　　It's　a　Reading；　it's　almost　new。　　Ye'd　better
be　having　a　look　at　it　yourself。〃

He　led　her　into　a　chaos　of　stoves；　grates；　and　pipes　at　the　back　of　the
store。

〃It's　in　need　of　a　little　polish；〃　he　added；　as　he　turned　on　a　light；
〃but　it's　sound；　and　a　good　baker；　and　economical　with　coal。〃　　He　opened
the　oven　and　took　off　the　lids。

〃I'm　afraid　I　don't　know　much　about　stoves；〃　she　told　him。　　〃But　I'll
trust　your　judgment。　　How　much　is　it？〃　she　inquired　hesitatingly。

He　ran　his　hand　through　his　corkscrewed　hair；　his　familiar　gesture。

〃Well；　I'm　willing　to　let　ye　have　it　for　twenty…five　dollars。　　If　that's
too　muchmebbe　we　can　find　another。〃

〃Can　you　put　it　in　to…morrow　morning？〃　she　asked。

〃I　can　that；〃　he　said。　　She　drew　out　her　purse。　　〃Ye　needn't　be　paying
for　it　all　at　once；〃　he　protested；　laying　a　hand　on　her　arm。　　〃You　won't
be　running　away。〃

〃Oh；　I'd　ratherI　have　the　money；〃　she　declared　hurriedly；　and　she
turned　her　back　that　he　might　not　perceive；　when　she　had　extracted　the
bills；　how　little　was　left　in　her　purse。

〃I'll　wager　ye　won't　be　wanting　another　soon；〃　he　said；　as　he　escorted
her　to　the　door。　　And　he　held　it　open；　politely；　looking　after　her；　until
she　had　crossed　the　street；　calling　out　a　cheerful　〃Goodnight〃　that　had
in　it　something　of　a　benediction。　　She　avoided　the　dining…room　and　went
straight　to　bed；　in　a　strange　medley　of　feelings。　　The　self…sacrifice　had
brought　a　certain　self…satisfaction　not　wholly　unpleasant。　　She　had　been
equal　to　the　situation；　and　a　part　of　her　being　approved　of　this；a　part
which　had　been　suppressed　in　another　mood　wherein　she　had　become
convinced　that　self…realization　lay　elsewhere。　　Life　was　indeed　a
bewildering　thing。。。。

The　next　morning；　at　breakfast；　though　her　mother's　complaints　continued；
Janet　was　silent　as　to　her　purchase；　and　she　lingered　on　her　return　home
in　the　evening　because　she　now　felt　a　reluctance　to　appear　in　the　role　of
protector　and　preserver　of　the　family。　　She　would　have　preferred；　if
possible；　to　give　the　stove　anonymously。　　Not　that　the　expression　of
Hannah's　gratitude　was　maudlin；　she　glared　at　Janet　when　she　entered　the
dining…room　and　exclaimed：　〃You　hadn't　ought　to　have　gone　and　done　it！〃

And　Janet　retorted；　with　almost　equal　vehemence：

〃Somebody　had　to　do　itdidn't　they？　　Who　else　was　there？〃

〃It's　a　shame　for　you　to　spend　your　money　on　such　things。　　You'd　ought　to
save　it　you'll　need　it；〃　Hannah　continued　illogically。

〃It's　lucky　I　had　the　money；〃　said　Janet。

Both　Janet　and　Hannah　knew　that　these　recriminations；　from　the　other；
were　the　explosive　expressions　of　deep　feeling。　　Janet　knew　that　her
mother　was　profoundly　moved　by　her　sacrifice。　　She　herself　was　moved　by
Hannah's　plight；　but　tenderness　and　pity　were　complicated　by　a　renewed
sense　of　rebellion　against　an　existence　that　exacted　such　a　situation。

〃I　hope　the　stove's　all　right；　mother；〃　she　said。　　〃Mr。　Tiernan　seemed　to
think　it　was　a　good　one。〃

〃It's　a　different　thing；〃　declared　Hannah。　　〃I　was　just　wondering　this
evening；　before　you　came　in；　how　I　ever　made　out　to　cook　anything　on　the
other。　　Come　and　see　how　nice　it　looks。〃

Janet　followed　her　into　the　kitchen。　　As　they　stood　close　together　gazing
at　the　new　purchase　Janet　was　uncomfortably　aware　of　drops　that　ran　a
little　way　in　the　furrows　of　Hannah's　cheeks；　stopped；　and　ran　on　again。
She　seized　her　apron　and　clapped　it　to　her　face。

〃You　hadn't　ought　to　be　made　to　do　it！〃　she　sobbed。

And　Janet　was　suddenly　impelled　to　commit　an　act　rare　in　their
intercourse。　　She　kissed　her；　swiftly；　on　the　cheek；　and　fled　from　the
room。。。。

Supper　was　an　ordeal。　　Janet　did　not　relish　her　enthronement　as　a
heroine；　she　deplored　and　even　resented　her　mother's　attitude　toward　her
father；　which　puzzled　her；　for　the　studied　cruelty　of　it　seemed　to　belie
her　affection　for　him。　　Every　act　and　gesture　and　speech　of　Hannah's　took
on　the　complexion　of　an　invidious　reference　to　her　reliability　as
compared　with　Edward's　worthlessness　as　a　provider；　and　she　contrived　in
some　sort　to　make　the　meal　a　sacrament　in　commemoration　of　her　elder
daughter's　act。

〃I　guess　you　notice　the　difference　in　that　pork；〃　she　would　exclaim；　and
when　he　praised　it　and　attributed　its　excellence　to　Janet's　gift　Hannah
observed：　〃As　long　as　you　ain't　got　a　son；　you're　lucky　to　have　a
daughter　like　her！〃

Janet　squirmed。　　Her　father's　acceptance　of　his　comparative　worthlessness
was　so　abject　that　her　pity　was　transferred　to　him；　though　she　scorned
him；　as　on　former　occasions；　for　the　self…depreciation　that　made　him
powerless　before　her　mother's　reproaches。　　After　the　meal　was　over　he　sat
listlessly　on　the　sofa；　like　a　visitor　whose　presence　is　endured；
pathetically　refraining　from　that　occupation　in　which　his　soul　found
refreshment　and　peace；　the　compilation　of　the　Bumpus　genealogy。　　That
evening　the　papers　remained　under　the　lid　of　the　desk　in　the　corner；
untouched。

What　troubled　Janet　above　all；　however；　was　the　attitude　of　Lise；　who
also　came　in　for　her　share　of　implied　reproach。　　Of　late　Lise　had　become
an　increased　source　of　anxiety　to　Hannah；　who　was　unwisely　resolved　to
make　this　occasion　an　object　lesson。　　And　though　parental　tenderness　had
often　moved　her　to　excuse　and　defend　Lise　for　an　increasing　remissness　in
failing　to　contribute　to　the　household　expenses；　she　was　now　quite
relentless　in　her　efforts　to　wring　from　Lise　an　acknowledgment　of　the
nobility　of　her　sister's　act；　of　qualities　in　Janet　that　she；　Lise；　might
do　well　to　cultivate。　　Lise　was　equally　determined　to　withhold　any　such
acknowledgment；　in　her　face　grew　that　familiar　mutinous　look　that　Hannah
invariably　failed　to　recognize　as　a　danger　signal；　and　with　it　another
the　sophisticated　expression　of　one　who　knows　life　and　ridicules　the　lack
of　such　knowledge　in　others。　　Its　implication　was　made　certain　when　the
two　girls　were　alone　in　their　bedroom　after　supper。　　Lise；　feverishly
occupied　with　her　toilet；　on　her　departure　broke　the　silence　there　by
inquiring：

〃Say；　if　I　had　your　easy　money；　I　might　buy　a　stove；　too。　　How　much　does
Ditmar　give　you；　sweetheart？〃

Janet；　infuriated；　flew　at　her　sister。　　Lise　struggled　to　escape。

〃Leave　me　go〃　she　whimpered　in　genuine　alarm；　and　when　at　length　she　was
released　she　went　to　the　mirror　and　began　straightening　her　hat；　which
had　flopped　to　one　side　of　her　head。　　〃I　didn't　mean　nothin'；　I　was　only
kiddie'　youwhat's　the　use　of　gettin'　nutty　over　a　jest？〃

〃I'm　not　like…you；〃　said　Janet。

〃I　was　only　kiddin'；　I　tell　you；〃　insisted　Lise；　with　a　hat　pin　in　her
mouth。　　〃Forget　it。〃

When　Lise　had　gone　out　Janet　sat　down　in　the　rocking…chair　and　began　to
rock　agitatedly。　　What　had　really　made　her　angry；　she　began　to　perceive；
was　the　realization　of　a　certain　amount　of　truth　in　her　sister's
intimation　concerning　Ditmar。　　Why　should　she　have；　in　Lise；　continually
before　her　eyes　a　degraded　caricature　of　her　own　aspirations　and　ideals？
or　was　Lise　a　mirrorsomewhat　tarnished；　indeedin　which　she　read　the
truth　about　herself？　　For　some　time　Janet　had　more　than　suspected　that
her　sister　possessed　a　new　lovera　lover　whom　she　refrained　from
discussing；　an　ominous　sign；　since　it　had　been　her　habit　to　dangle　her
conquests　before　Janet's　eyes；　to　discuss　their　merits　and　demerits　with
an　engaging　though　cynical　freedom。　　Although　the　existence　of　this
gentleman　was　based　on　evidence　purely　circumstantial；　Janet　was　inclined
to　believe　him　of　a　type　wholly