the dwelling place of ligh-第16节
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companions such amusing and intelligent people as the stranger with whom she
had talked！ Were all the inhabitants of Silliston like him？ They must be；
since it was a seat of learning。 Lise's cry； 〃I've just got to go away；
anywhere；〃 found an echo in Janet's soul。 Why shouldn't she go away？ She was
capable of taking care of herself； she was a good stenographer； her salary had
been raised twice in two years；why should she allow consideration for her
family to stand in the way of what she felt would be self realization？
Unconsciously she was a true modern in that the virtues known as duty and self
sacrifice did not appeal to her；she got from them neither benefit nor
satisfaction； she understood instinctively that they were impeding to
growth。 Unlike Lise； she was able to see life as it is； she did not expect of
it miracles； economic or matrimonial。 Nothing would happen unless she made it
happen。 She was twenty…one； earning nine dollars a week； of which she now
contributed five to the household；her father； with characteristic
incompetence； having taken out a larger insurance policy than he could
reasonably carry。 Of the remaining four dollars she spent more than one on
lunches； there were dresses and underclothing； shoes and stockings to buy； in
spite of darning and mending； little treats with Eda that mounted up； and
occasionally the dentistfor Janet would not neglect her teeth as Lise
neglected hers。 She managed to save something； but it was very little。 And
she was desperately unhappy when she contemplated the grey and monotonous vista
of the years ahead； saw herself growing older and older； driven always by the
stern necessity of accumulating a margin against possible disasters； little by
little drying up； losing； by withering disuse； those rich faculties of
enjoyment with which she was endowed； and which at once fascinated and
frightened her。 Marriage； in such an environment； offered no solution；
marriage meant dependence； from which her very nature revolted： and in her
existence； drab and necessitous though it were； was still a remnant of freedom
that marriage would compel her to surrender。。。。
One warm evening； oppressed by such reflections； she had started home when she
remembered having left her bag in the office； and retraced her steps。 As she
turned the corner of West Street； she saw； beside the canal and directly in
front of the bridge； a new and smart…looking automobile； painted crimson and
black； of the type known as a runabout； which she recognized as belonging to
Mr。 Ditmar。 Indeed； at that moment Mr。 Ditmar himself was stepping off the end
of the bridge and about to start the engine when； dropping the crank； he walked
to the dashboard and apparently became absorbed in some mechanisms there。 Was
it the glance cast in her direction that had caused him to delay his departure？
Janet was seized by a sudden and rather absurd desire to retreat； but Canal
Street being empty； such an action would appear eccentric； and she came slowly
forward； pretending not to see her employer； ridiculing to herself the idea
that he had noticed her。 Much to her annoyance； however； her embarrassment
persisted； and she knew it was due to the memory of certain incidents； each in
itself almost negligible； but cumulatively amounting to a suspicion that for
some months he had been aware of her： many times when he had passed through the
outer office she had felt his eyes upon her； had been impelled to look up from
her work to surprise in them a certain glow to make her bow her head again in
warm confusion。 Now； as she approached him； she was pleasantly but rather
guiltily conscious of the more rapid beating of the blood that precedes an
adventure； yet sufficiently self…possessed to note the becoming nature of the
light flannel suit axed rather rakish Panama he had pushed back from his
forehead。 It was not until she had almost passed him that he straightened up；
lifted the Panama； tentatively； and not too far； startling her。
〃Good afternoon； Miss Bumpus；〃 he said。 〃I thought you had gone。〃
〃I left my bag in the office；〃 she replied； with the outward calmness that
rarely deserted herthe calmness； indeed； that had piqued him and was leading
him on to rashness。
〃Oh；〃 he said。 〃Simmons will get it for you。〃 Simmons was the watchman who
stood in the vestibule of the office entrance。
〃Thanks。 I can get it myself；〃 she told him； and would have gone on had he not
addressed her again。 〃I was just starting out for a spin。 What do you think
of the car？ It's good looking； isn't it？〃 He stood off and surveyed it；
laughing a little； and in his laugh she detected a note apologetic； at variance
with the conception she had formed of his character； though not alien； indeed；
to the dust…coloured vigour of the man。 She scarcely recognized Ditmar as he
stood there； yet he excited her； she felt from him an undercurrent of something
that caused her inwardly to tremble。 〃See how the lines are carried through。〃
He indicated this by a wave of his hand； but his eyes were now on her。
〃It is pretty；〃 she agreed。
In contrast to the defensive tactics which other ladies of his acquaintance had
adopted； tactics of a patently coy and coquettish nature； this self…collected
manner was new and spicy； challenging to powers never as yet fully exerted
while beneath her manner he felt throbbing that rare and dangerous thing in
women； a temperament； for which men have given their souls。 This conviction of
her possession of a temperament；he could not have defined the word； emotional
rather than intellectual； produced the apologetic attitude she was quick to
sense。 He had never been； at least during his maturity； at a loss with the
other sex； and he found the experience delicious。
〃You like pretty things； I'm sure of that；〃 he hazarded。 But she did not ask
him how he knew； she simply assented。 He raised the hood； revealing the
engine。 〃Isn't that pretty？ See how nicely everything is adjusted in that
little space to do the particular work for which it is designed。〃
Thus appealed to； she came forward and stopped； still standing off a little
way； but near enough to see； gazing at the shining copper caps on the
cylinders； at the bright rods and gears。
〃It looks intricate；〃 said Mr。 Ditmar； 〃but really it's very simple。 The
gasoline comes in here from the tank behindthis is called the carburetor； it
has a jet to vaporize the gasoline； and the vapour is sucked into each of these
cylinders in turn when the piston moveslike this。〃 He sought to explain the
action of the piston。 〃That compresses it； and then a tiny electric spark
comes just at the right moment to explode it； and the explosion sends the
piston down again； and turns the shaft。 Well； all four cylinders have an
explosion one right after another； and that keeps the shaft going。〃 Whereupon
the most important personage in Hampton； the head of the great Chippering Mill
proceeded； for the benefit of a humble assistant stenographer； to remove the
floor boards behind the dash。 〃There's the shaft； come here and look at it。〃
She obeyed； standing beside him； almost touching him； his arm； indeed； brushing
her sleeve； and into his voice crept a tremor。 〃The shaft turns the rear
wheels by means of a gear at right angles on the axle； and the rear wheels
drive the car。 Do you see？〃
〃Yes；〃 she answered faintly； honesty compelling her to add： 〃a little。〃
He was looking； now； not at the machinery； but intently at her； and she could
feel the blood flooding into her cheeks and temples。 She was even compelled
for an instant to return his glance； and from his eyes into hers leaped a flame
that ran scorching through her body。 Then she knew with conviction that the
explanation of the automobile had been an excuse； she had comprehended almost
nothing of it； but she had been impressed by the facility with which he
described it； by his evident mastery over it。 She had noticed his hands； how
thick his fingers were and close together； yet how deftly he had used them；
without smearing the cuffs of his silk shirt or the sleeves of his coat with
the oil that glistened everywhere。
〃I like machinery；〃 he told her as he replaced the boards。 〃I like to take
care of it myself。〃
〃It must be interesting；〃 she assented； aware of the inadequacy of the remark；
and resenting in herself an inarticulateness seemingly imposed by inhibition
connected with his nearness。 Fascination and antagonism were struggling within
her。 Her desire to get away grew desperate。
〃Thank you for showing it to me。〃 With an effort of will she moved toward the
bridge； but was impelled by a consciousness of the abruptness of her departure
to look back at him onceand smile； to experience again the thrill of the
current he sped after her。 By lifting his hat； a little higher； a little more
confidently than in the first instance； he made her leaving seem more gracious；
the act somehow conveying an acknowledgment on his part that their relationship
had changed。
Once across the bridge and in the mill； she fairly ran up the stairs and into
the empty office； to perceive her bag lying on the desk where she had left it；
and
