the foundations of personality-第57节

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ern　woman　has　a　harder　time　in　bearing　her　children；　and　worst　of　all　she　is　showing　either　a　reluctance　or　an　inability　to　nurse　them。　Small　families　are　becoming　the　rule；　especially　among　the　better　to　do。　On　the　other　hand；　the　history　of　the　home　is　the　gradual　domestication　of　the　man；　his　greater　devotion　to　the　children　and　to　his　wife。　The　increase　in　divorce　has　its　roots　in　social　issues　too　big　to　be　discussed　with　profit　here；　but　perhaps　the　principal　item　is　the　emancipation　of　woman　who　is　now　freer　to　decline　unsatisfactory　relations　with　her　mate。　＇1＇　〃The　Nervous　Housewife。〃

2。　The　sex　passion；　as　a　direct　feeling；　is　undoubtedly　stronger　in　the　male；　as　it　is　biologically　necessary　it　should　be；　since　upon　him　devolves　the　active　part　in　the　sex　relationship。＇2＇　The　sexologists　point　out　two　types　of　sex　feeling；　one　of　which　is　supposed　to　be　typically　male；　the　other　typically　female。　＇2＇　See　Havelock　Ellis；　Krafft…Ebbing；　Freud。

The　male　feeling　is　called　sadism；　after　an　infamous　nobleman　who　wrote　on　the　subject。　It　is　a　delight　in　power；　especially　in　cruelty；　and　shows　itself　in　a　desire　for　the　subjection　of　the　female。　In　its　pathological　forms　it　substitutes　cruelty　for　the　sexual　relation；　and　we　have　thus　the　horrible　Jack　the　Rippers；　etc。　The　Freudians　go　to　the　extreme　of　seeing　in　all　love　of　power　a　sadism；　but　the　truth　is　that　the　sadistic　impulse　is　the　love　of　power；　cruelly　or　roughly　expressed　in　sex。　The　cave　man　of　the　stories　is　a　sadist　of　a　type；　and　one　generally　approved　of；　at　least　in　theory。　A　little　of　sadism　is　shown　in　the　delight　in　pinching　and　biting　so　often　seen；　and　the　expression　〃I'd　like　to　eat　you　up〃　has　a　playful　sadism　in　it。　The　opposite　of　sadism　is　masochism。　This　is　a　delight　in　being　roughly　used；　in　being　the　victim　of　aggression。　The　typical　female　is　supposed　to　rejoice　in　the　power　and　strength　of　the　male　as　exerted　on　her。　The　admiration　women　often　give　to　the　uncouthly　strong；　their　praise　of　virility；　is　masochistic　in　its　origin。　The　desire　of　the　peasant　woman　to　be　beaten　as　a　mark　of　man's　love　is　supposed　to　be　masochistic；　a　pleasure　in　pain；　which　is　held　to　be　a　primitive　female　reaction。　Sex　psychopathology　discloses　innumerable　cases　where　extreme　sadism　and　masochism　exist　in　both　sexes；　that　is；　not　only　males　but　females　are　sadistic；　and　so　not　only　females　but　males　are　masochistic。　Undoubtedly　in　minor　degree　both　qualities　express　themselves　in　male　and　female；　undoubtedly　the　male　is　more　frequently　a　sadist　than　is　the　female。　Though　the　majority　of　women　may　thrill　in　the　strength　and　power　of　the　lover；　there　are　relatively　few　American　women　who　will　tolerate　real　roughness　or　cruelty。　As　a　matter　of　fact　the　basic　feelings　in　sex　love；　aside　from　the　sexual　urge　itself；　are　tenderness　and　admiration。　Naturally　men　desire　to　protect；　and　this　becomes　part　of　their　tenderness；　they　admire　and　love　the　beauty　of　women　and　are　attracted　by　the　essential　（or　supposed　essential）　feminine　qualities。　And　as　naturally　women　desire　to　be　protected；　this　enhances　their　tenderness；　and　their　admiration　is　elicited　by　the　peculiar　male　characters　of　strength；　hardihood　and　aggressiveness；　as　well　as　by　beauty　and　human　qualities　generally。　Though　the　love　of　conquest　is　a　part　of　sex　feeling；　it　is　neither　male　nor　female；　but　is　that　feeling　of　superiority　and　power　so　longed　for　in　all　relations。　Men　like　to　conquer　the　proud；　reserved；　haughty　woman　because　she　piques　them；　and　women　often　set　out　to　〃win〃　the　reserved　〃woman　hater〃　for　the　same　reason。　Thus　tenderness　and　sex　passion；　with　sadism　and　masochism　in　lesser　degree；　are　basic　in　sex　feeling；　but　other　qualities　enter　so　largely　that　any　complete　analysis　is　almost　impossible。　The　belief；　engendered　by　romance　and　teaching；　that　happiness　lies　in　love；　spurs　youth　on。　Admiration　for　achievement；　love　of　beauty；　desire　for　the　social　standing　that　winning　some　one　gives；　desire　for　home　and　perhaps　even　for　children　are　some　of　the　factors　of　love。　Sex　passion　varies　enormously　in　people。　In　some　men　it　is　an　almost　constant　desire；　obsessive；　and　is　relatively　uncritical　and　unchoosing。　Occasionally；　though　much　more　rarely；　the　same　condition　is　found　in　women。　Such　abnormal　individuals　are　almost　certain　of　social　disaster；　and　when　married　their　conduct　usually　leads　to　divorce　or　desertion。　Then　there　is　a　wide　range　of　types　down　to　the　almost　sexless　persons；＇1＇　the　frigid；　who　are　much　more　commonly　found　among　women　than　men。　In　fact；　with　many　women　active　sex　desire　may　never　occur；　and　for　others　it　is　a　rarity；　while　still　others　find　themselves　definitely　desirous　only　after　pregnancy。　Not　only　are　women　less　passionate；　but　their　desire　is　more　〃finicky；〃　more　in　need　of　appropriate　circumstances；　the　proper　setting　and　the　chosen　mate　than　with　man。　In　other　words；　sex　desire　is　more　physical　and　urgent　in　the　man　and　more　psychical　and　selective　in　the　woman。　＇1＇　Some　claim　that　the　〃frigid〃　woman　is　such　because　her　mate　is　ignorant　of　the　art　of　love。　This　is　true　of　some　frigid　women。　Instruction　to　men　and　women　about　to　be　married　on　the　technique　of　sexual　life　might　well　take　a　fine　place　in　the　curriculum　of　life。

A　curious　by…product　of　the　sexual　feeling　is　fetichism。　To　do　it　justice；　fetichism　is　found　in　all　feeling　toward　others；　but　is　most　developed　in　sex　relation。　The　fetich　is　a　symbol　of　the　desired　person；　thus　the　handkerchief　and　glove　of　the　woman　or　the　hat　of　the　man。　Pathologically　any　part　of　the　dressthe　shoe　or　the　undergarmentsmay　become　so　closely　associated　with　sexual　feeling　as　to　evoke　it　indiscriminately　or　even　to　displace　it。　Normal　fetich　formation　may　become　a　bit　foolish　and　sentimental　but　never　becomes　a　predominant　factor　in　sex　relationship。　The　history　of　modesty　is　the　history　of　the　sex　taboo。　As　pointed　out；　the　sex　feelings　are　the　most　restricted　of　any　of　the　instincts。　I　despair　of　giving　an　adequate　summary　of　this；　but　it　may　be　best　stated　by　declaring　that　all　the　restrictions　we　hold　as　imperative　have；　at　one　time　or　another　in　some　place；　been　regarded　as　sacred　and　desirable。　Brother　and　sister　marriages　were　favored　by　Egyptian　royalty；　prostitution　was　a　rite　in　Phoenician　worship；　phallic　worship　frankly　held　as　a　symbol　that　which　to…day　we　hold　profane　（in　a　silly　way）；　plural　marriage　was　and　is　countenanced　in　a　large　part　of　the　world　to…day；　marriage　for　love　is　held　as　foolish　in　most　countries；　even　now。　The　practice　of　child　restriction　now　prevalent　in　Europe　and　America　would　be　looked　at　with　horror　in　those　countries　where　children　of　ten　or　eleven　are　allowed　to　marry。　Exogamy；　endogamy；　monogamy；　polygamy；all　these　are　customs　and　taboos；　and　though　in　our　day　and　country　monogamy　has　the　social　and　religious　sanction；　there　is　nothing　to　indicate　that　this　is　a　permanent　resting　place　for　marriage。　Certainly　the　statistics　of　divorce　indicate　a　change　in　the　permanent　status　of　marriage。　What　this　is　meant　to　emphasize　is　the　social　nature　of　sexual　modesty。　Modesty　of　other　kind　rests　either　on　a　moderate　self…valuation　or　a　desire　to　avoid　offense　by　not　emphasizing　one's　own　value；　or　it　is　both。　However　sexual　modesty　originated；　practically　it　consists　in　the　concealing　of　certain　parts　of　the　body；　avoiding　certain　topics　of　conversation；　especially　in　the　presence　of　the　other　sex；　and　behaving　in　such　fashion　as　to　restrict　sexual　demonstration。　There　is　a　natural　coyness　in　women　which　has　been　socially　emphasized　by　restrictions　in　dress；　conduct　and　speech　to　a　ridiculous　degree。　Thus　it　was　immodest　in　our　civilization　for　women　to　show　their　legs；　and　the　leg　became　the　symbol　of　the　femaleness　of　the　woman　or　girl；　as　also　did　the　breast。＇1＇　The　body　became　taboo；　and　at　present；　when　women　are　commencing　to　dress　so　that　the　legs　are　shown；　the　arms　are　bare；　and　the　back　and　shoulders　visible；　the　cry　of　immodesty；　immorality　and　social　demoralization　is　raised；　as　if　real　morality　rested　in　these　ridiculous；　barbaric　taboos。　＇1＇　All　the　anthropologists；　Tyler；　McLennan；　Ellis　and　especially　Frazier；　deal　at　length　with　this　fascinating　subject。　The　psychopathologists　relate　the　most　extraordinary　stories　of　fetich　love。

But　no　matter　how　much　one　emphasizes　the　arbitrary　nature　of　modesty；　of　the　restrictions　placed　on　dress；　speech　and　conduct；　it　still　remains　true　that　their　function　is　at　present　to　act　as　inhibitors。　Ridiculous　as　it　is　to　believe　that　morality　resides　in　the　length　of　the　skirt　or　in　the　degree　of　paint　and　powder　on　the　face；　the　fact　is　that　usually　they　who　depart　too　widely　from　the　conventional　in　these　matters　are　uninhibited　and　are　as　apt　to　depart　from　the　conventional　in　deed　as　they　are　in　deportment。　There　are　those　who　say　that　we　would　be　far　more　moral　if　we　went　about　naked；　that　clothes　suggest　more　than　nakedness　reveals。　This　is　true　of　some　kinds　of　clothesthe　half　nakedness　of　the　stage　or　the　ballroom；　or　the　coquettish　additions　to　clothes　represented　by　the　dangling　tassels　but　it　is　not　true　of　the　riding　breeches；　or　the　trim　sport　clothes；　or　the　walking　suit。　The　dress　of　men；　though　ugly；　is　useful；　convenie