the foundations of personality-第55节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　efforts。　Speaking　the　truth　invariably　is　not　an　easy　matter　and　in　the　strictest　sense　is　quite　questionable　as　to　value。　The　white　lie；　so…called；　the　pleasant；　assumed　interest；　the　untruth　intended　to　smooth　social　relations　are　shock　absorbers　and　are　part　of　the　courtesy　technique。　In　a　more　technical　sense；　the　untruth　told　to　obtain　some　advantage　or　to　escape　the　disagreeable　in　one　form　or　another　is　held　to　be　dishonorable；　but　is　very　widely　practiced。　People　are　enraged　at　being　deceived　if　the　deception　is　the　work　of　an　outsider　or　one　not　liked；　they　are　shocked　if　deceived；　lied　to；　by　one　they　love。　The　lie　stands　as　the　symbol　of　weakness；　but　to　be　〃taken　in〃　has　more　than　the　material　hurt　the　lie　inflicts；　it　wounds　vanity　and　brings　doubt　and　suspicion　into　social　relations；　all　of　which　are　very　disagreeable。　It　is　held　by　ethical　teachers　to　be　worse　to　lie　about　faults　than　to　have　committed　the　faults；　though　this　may　be　modified　to　mean　only　the　minor　faults。　All　judges　and　lawyers　will　testify　that　〃the　truth；　the　whole　truth　and　nothing　but　the　truth〃　is　very　seldom　told　in　court。　Controversy　is　the　enemy　of　truth；　and　when　the　fighting　spirit　is　aroused；　candor　disappears。　Where　any　great　interest　is　involved；　where　the　opponent　is　seeking　to　dispossess　or　to　evade　payment；　or　where　legal　punishment　may　be　felt；　the　truth　must　be　forced　from　most　people。　Moreover；　passion　blinds；　and　the　natural　and　astonishing　inaccuracy　in　observation　and　reporting＇1＇　that　every　psychologist　knows　is　multiplied　wherever　great　emotions　are　at　work。　If　perjury　were　really　punished；　the　business　of　the　courts　would　be　remarkably　increased。　＇1＇　Not　only　is　this　true　in　law　but　in　all　controversy；　whether　theological；　scientific；　social　or　personal；　the　ego…feeling　enters　in　its　narrowest　and　blindest　aspects　to　defeat　honor；　justice　and　truth。

All　this　is　normal　lying；not　habitual　but　occurring　under　certain　circumstances。　As　clearly　motivated　is　the　lying　of　the　braggart；　the　one　who　invents　stories　that　emphasize　his　exceptional　qualities。　The　braggart　however　is　a　mere　novice　as　compared　with　the　〃pathological　liar；〃　who　does　not　seem　able　to　tell　the　truth；　who　invents　continually　and　who　will　often　deceive　a　whole　group　before　he　is　found　out。　The　motive　here　is　that　curious　type　of　superiority　seeking　which　is　the　desire　to　be　piteously　interesting；　to　hold　the　center　of　the　stage　by　virtue　of　adverse　adventures　or　misfortunes。　Hence　the　wild　white…slave　yarns　and　the　〃orphan　child〃　who　has　been　abused。　Every　police　department　knows　these　girls　and　boys；　as　does　every　social　service　agency。　I　am　afraid　we　all　yield　to　the　desire　to　be　interesting　or　to　make　artistic　our　adventures。　To　tell　of　what　happens　to　us；　of　what　we　have　seen　or　said　or　done　exactly　as　it　was；　is　difficult；　not　only　because　of　faulty　memory；　but　because　we　like　to　make　the　tale　more　like　a　story；　because；　let　us　say；　of　the　artist　in　us。　Life　is　so　incomplete　and　unfinished！　We　so　rarely　retort　as　we　should　have！　And　a　bald　recital　of　most　events　is　not　interesting　and　so；the　proportions　are　altered；　humor　is　introduced；　the　conversation　becomes　more　witty；　especially　our　share；　and　the　adventure　is　made　a　little　more　thrilling。　And　each　who　tells　of　it　adds　little　or　much；　and　in　the　end　what　is　told　never　happened。　〃The　Devil　is　the　father　of　lies；〃　runs　the　old　proverb。　If　so；　we　have　all　given　birth　to　some　of　his　children。　Though　direct　lying　is　held　to　be　harmful　and　socially　disastrous；　and　evidence　of　either　fear　and　cowardice　or　malevolence；　the　essential　honesty　of　people　is　usually　summed　up　in　the　term　sincerity。　The　advance　of　civilization　is　marked　by　the　appearance　of　toleration；　the　recognition　that　belief　is　a　private　right；　especially　as　concerns　religion；　and　that　sincerity　in　belief　is　more　important　than　the　nature　of　belief。　What　is　really　implied　by　sincerity　is　the　absence　of　camouflage　or　disguise；　so　that　it　becomes　possible　to　know　what　a　man　believes　and　thinks　by　his　words　and　his　acts。　As　a　matter　of　fact；　that　ideal　is　neither　realized　nor　desirable；　and　it　is　as　wise　and　natural　to　inhibit　the　expression　of　our　beliefs　and　feelings　as　it　is　to　inhibit　our　actions。　To　be　frank　with　a　man；　to　tell　him　sincerely　that　we　believe　he　is　a　scoundrel；　and　that　we　hate　him　and　to　show　this　feeling　by　act；　would　be　to　plunge　the　world　into　barbarism。　We　must　disguise　hate；　and　there　are　times　when　we　must　disguise　love。　Sincerity　is　at　the　best　only　relative；　we　ought　to　be　sincere　about　love；　religion　and　the　validity　of　our　purposes；　but　in　the　little　relationships　sincerity　must　be　replaced　by　caution；　courtesy　and　the　needs　of　efficiency。　In　reality　we　ask　for　sincerity　only　in　what　is　pleasant　to　us；　the　sincere　whose　frankness　and　honesty　offend　we　call　boors。　Sincere　self…revelation；　if　well　done；　is　one　of　the　most　esteemed　forms　of　literary　production。　Montaigne's　preface　to　his　〃Essays〃　is　a　promise　that　he　lived　up　to　in　the　sincerity　and　frankness　of　his　self　and　other　analysis。　〃Pepy's　Diary〃　charms　because　the　naked　soul　of　an　Englishman　of　the　seventeenth　century　is　laid　before　us；　with　its　trivialities；　lusts；　repentance　and　aspirations。　In　the　latter　nineteenth　century；　Mary　MacLane's　diary　had　an　extraordinary　vogue　because　of　the　apparent　sincerity　of　the　eager　original　nature　there　revealed。　We　love　young　children　because　their　selfishness；　their　curiosity；　their　〃real〃　nature；　is　shown　to　us　in　their　every　word　and　act。　In　their　presence　we　are　relaxed；　off　our　guard　and　not　forced　to　that　eternal　hiding　and　studying　that　the　society　of　our　equals　imposes　on　us。　We　all　long　for　sincerity；　but　the　too　sincere　are　treated　much　as　the　skeptic　of　Bjoriasen's　tale；　who　was　killed　by　his　friends。　As　they　stood　around　his　body；　one　said　to　the　other；　〃There　lies　one　who　kicked　us　around　like　a　football。〃　The　dead　man　spoke；　〃Ah；　yes；　but　I　always　kicked　you　to　the　goal。〃　The　sincere　of　purpose　must　always　keep　his　sincerity　from　wounding　too　deeply；　he　must　always　be　careful　and　include　his　own　foibles　and　failings　in　his　attack；　and　he　must　make　his　efforts　witty；　so　that　he　may　have　the　help　of　laughter。　But　here　the　danger　is　that　he　will　be　listed　as　a　pleasant　comedian；　and　his　serious　purpose　will　be　balked　by　his　reputation。　Sincerity；　thus；　is　relative；　and　the　insincere　are　those　whose　purposes；　declared　by　themselves　to　be　altruistic；　are　none　the　less　egoistic；　whose　attachments　and　affections；　loudly　protested；　are　not　lasting　and　never　intense；　and　whose　manners　do　not　reflect　what　they　themselves　are　but　what　they　think　will　be　pleasing　and　acceptable　to　others。　The　relatively　sincere　seek　to　make　their　outer　behavior　conform；　within　the　possibilities；　to　their　inner　natures；　they　are　polite　but　not　gushing；　devoted　to　their　friends　at　heart　and　in　deed；　but　not　too　friendly　to　their　enemies　or　to　those　they　dislike；　and　they　believe　in　their　own　purposes　as　good。　The　unhappiest　state　possible　is　when　one　starts　to　question　the　sincerity　and　validity　of　one's　own　purposes；　from　which　there　results　an　agonizing　paralysis　of　purpose。　The　sincere　inspire　with　faith　and　cooperation；　if　there　is　a　unity　of　interest；　but　it　must　not　be　forgotten　that　others　are　inspired　to　hatred　and　rivalry；　if　the　sincerity　is　along　antagonistic　lines。　We　are　apt　to　forget　that　sincerity；　like　love；　faith　and　hope；　is　a　beautiful　word；　but　the　quality　of　sincerity；　like　the　other　qualities；　may　be　linked　with　misguided　purpose。　No　one　doubts　the　sincerity　of　the　Moslem　hordes　of　the　eighth　century　in　desiring　to　redeem　the　world　for　Mahomet；　but　we　are　quite　as　sincerely　glad　that　sturdy　Charles　Martel　smashed　them　back　from　Europe。　Their　very　sincerity　made　them　the　more　dangerous。　In　estimating　any　one's　sincerity；　it　is　indispensable　to　inquire　with　what　other　qualities　is　this　sincerity　linked；to　what　nouns　of　activity　is　it　a　qualifying　adjective？　Honesty；　truthfulness　and　sincerity　are　esteemed　because　there　is　in　our　social　structure　the　great　need　that　men　shall　trust　one　another。　The　cynic　and　the　worldly　wise；　and　also　the　experiences　of　life；　teach　〃never　trust；　always　be　cautious；　never　confide　in　letter　or　speech；〃　curb　the　trusting　urge　in　our　nature。　The　betrayal　of　trust　is　the　one　sin；　all　other　crimes　from　murder　down　may　find　an　excuse　in　passion　or　weakness；　but　when　the　trusting　are　deceived　or　injured；　the　cement　substance　of　our　social　structure　is　dissolved　and　the　fabric　of　our　lives　threatened。　To　trust　is　to　hand　over　one's　destiny　to　another　and　is　a　manifestation　of　the　mutual　dependence　of　man。　It　is　in　part　a　judgment　of　character；　it　is　in　part　an　original　trait；　is　an　absence　of　that　form　of　fear　called　suspicion　and　on　its　positive　side　is　a　form　of　courage。　Since　it　is　in　part　a　judgment　of　character　in　the　most　of　us；　it　tends　to　grow　less　prominent　as　we　grow　older。　The　young　child　is　either　very　trusting　or　entirely　suspicious；　and　when　his　suspicions　are　overcome　by　acquaintance　and　simple　bribes；　he　yields　his　fortunes　to　any　one。　（It　is　a　pleasant　fiction　that　children　and　dogs　know　whom　to　trust；　by　an　intuition。）　But　as　life　proceeds；　the　most　of　us　find　that　our　judgment