the foundations of personality-第47节

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en　of　the　statement　or　implication　in　a　subtle　or　gross　way　that　they　are　charming；　and　the　effect　on　men　of　acknowledged　superiority　in　strength　courage　or　intelligence。　Of　course；　in　both　cases　the　effect　is　partly　in　the　physical　attractiveness　of　the　flatterer　and　tends　to　become　ridiculous　when　he　or　she　is　without　charm。　The　simpering　language　that　is　irresistible　when　uttered　by　a　starry…eyed　maid　of　eighteen　loses　somewhat　in　beauty　and　effect　when　emanating　from　the　lips　of　bespectacled　forty。　The　power　to　use　and　the　power　to　resist　flattery　in　any　of　its　forms　have　played　almost　as　great　a　role　in　the　history　of　the　race　as　strength；　beauty　or　intelligence。　It　would　be　futile　to　elaborate　in　detail　the　various　ways　of　seeking　superiority　or　resisting　inferiority。　Two　directions　of　this　impulse　need　some　attention；　as　they　lead　to　personality　traits　of　great　importance。　〃Having　one's　way〃　becomes　a　dominant　desire　with　many　people；　and　much　of　the　clashing　that　occurs　in　families；　organizations　and　the　council　chambers　of　nations　arises　from　a　childish；　egoistic　seeking　of　superiority。　People　enter　into　the　most　heated　and　sterile　arguments；　often　coming　to　blows；　if　the　course　of　conduct　they　desire　to　have　followed　is　modified　or　blocked。　Even　when　secretly　convinced　that　they　are　wrong；　husbands　and　wives　will　continue　to　insist　on　victory；　for　too　often　the　domestic　relationship　is　a　struggle　for　leadership　and　dominance　rather　than　a　partnership　and　a　conference。　Two　heads　are　better　than　one　when　the　intelligence　within　the　heads　is　of　good　grade　and　when　the　desire　for　superiority　does　not　take　trivial　directions。　And　the　effect　of　yielding　to　the　whims　of　children　is　to　develop　an　irritable；　domineering　egoism　bent　on　having　its　own　way；　resisting　reasonable　compromise　or　correction。　The　greatest　benefit　of　discipline　and　above　all　of　contact　with　equals　to　a　child　is　in　the　effect　on　this　phase　of　egoism；　i。　e。；　that　cooperation　means　compromise；　to　be　reasonable　implies　listening　with　respect　to　others'　plans　and　to　accept　better　ways　of　doing　things；　even　if　they　have　originated　with　others；　in　other　ways　the　subordinating　of　trivial　egoism。　The　large　families　of　other　days　offered　the　conflict　of　wills　and　its　consequent　lesson　within　the　home；　to…day　the　solitary　child；　or　the　one　whose　brother　or　sister　is　three；　four　or　five　years　younger　or　older　must　go　into　the　streets　to　obtain　this　discipline　or　else　go　without。　The　indulged　have　this　form　of　inferior　egoism　more　than　do　those　who　have　been　roughly　handled；　and　so　it　is　more　common　in　women　of　the　better…to…do　classes　and　in　men　who　have　always　exercised　authority。　It　is　of　course　found　in　what　is　known　as　the　stubborn　person；　he　whose　will　is　law　to　himself　and　who　seeks　to　make　it　law　to　others。　Ordinarily　the　stubborn　person　is　merely　a　nuisance；　but　also；　if　he　couples　that　stubbornness　with　intelligence　and　some　especial　ability；　he　may　reach　great　heights；　though　he　is　seldom　popular。　A　sub…form　of　having　one's　own　way　is　the　adherence　to　one's　own　〃opinion。〃　The　clash　of　opinions　is　in　its　noblest　aspect　the　basis　of　knowledge；　the　correction　of　opinion　that　results　when　man　meets　man　is　the　growth　of　tolerance　and　urbanity。　Wide　reading；　travel　and　experience　teach　us　that　our　opinions　can　never　be　absolutely　right；　and　we　grow　to　look　upon　them　in　a　detached　sort　of　way。　In　fact；　the　prime　result　of　the　growth　of　intelligence　and　of　experience　is　to　make　one；　as　it　were；　objective　toward　oneself；　to　view　one's　own　thoughts；　beliefs　and　emotions　with　some　humor　and　skepticism。　But　the　uncultured；　the　narrow；　the　inexperienced；　the　young　and　the　strongly　egotistic　never　detach　themselves　from　their　opinions；　and　their　opinions　are　themselves。　Attack　an　opinion；　contradict　or　amend　it；and　a　sort　of　fighting　spirit　is　aroused。　Argument　differs　from　discussion　in　that　it　seeks　all　means　to　winridicule；　sophistry；　and　personal　attack　and　it　is　by　far　the　more　common。　There　was　a　time　when　opinion　was　entirely　enslaved；　when　only　the　ruler　might　venture　on　a　new　belief　or　its　expression；　then　there　came　a　time　when　the　right　to　freedom　of　opinion　and　its　expression　was　conceded；　and　now；　with　huge　forces　confronting　one　another；　freedom　of　opinion＇1＇　is　again　threatened。　But　that　is　an　issue　larger　than　our　subject。　＇1＇　The　most　profound　contribution　to　the　subject　of　discussion　and　freedom　of　opinion　in　recent　years　has　been　written　by　Walter　Lippman　in　the　Atlantic　Monthly；　September；　1920。

You　may　judge　a　man　by　his　type　of　argument　and　his　reaction　to　the　opinions　of　others。　One　should　hold　to　his　own　beliefs　and　opinions；　but　only　if　they　withstand　the　assaults　of　reason。　To　build　ego　feeling　into　opinions　is　to　make　ignorance　sacred。　For　most　of　us　there　are　certain　opinions　that　we　will　not　tolerate；　and　there　are　others　to　which　we　are　indifferent。　There　are　those　who　feel　it　incumbent　on　themselves　to　contradict　any　opinion；　even　if　they　agree　fundamentally　with　it。　The　mere　fact　that　some　one　else　gave　it　utterance　arouses　a　sort　of　jealousy。　Then　there　are　others　who　will　not　permit　any　opinion　of　their　own　to　be　discussed；　to　whom　it　is　a　personal　affront　to　do　this。　What　we　call　urbanity　is　tolerance　of　other　opinions；　what　we　call　reasonableness　is　the　willingness　to　change　opinions　if　convinced。　What　we　call　vacillation　is　to　have　no　fixed　opinion；　to　be　influenced　at　once　by　the　opinions　of　others。　The　pleasure　sought　in　argument　is　a　victory　for　our　opinions　and　thus　for　ourselves。　Here　Montaigne's　wisdom　aptly　expresses　itself：　〃We　deride　ourselves　a　hundred　times　when　we　mock　our　neighbor。〃　He　is　stubborn　and　unreasonable　who　does　not　agree　with　us。　〃Be　reasonable；〃　cry　the　unreasonable　as　they　argue。　〃How　stubborn　and　pigheaded　you　are；〃　say　those　inaccessible　to　reason。　The　difficulty　in　reaching　a　true　estimate　of　the　world；　ourselves　and　our　neighbors　lies　in　the　egoism　which　permeates　our　beliefs　and　opinions。　A　second　direction　of　the　impulse　to　superiority　is　personal　beauty。　Not　only　does　the　young　girl　（or　any　other；　male　or　female）　dress　and　adorn　herself　to　attract　those　whose　good　opinion　she　seeks；　but　also　she　seeks　superiority　over　her　competitors。　Her　own　self…valuation　increases　with　the　admiration　of　some　and　the　discomfiture　of　others。　To　be　beautiful；　attractive　or　pretty　becomes　thus　a　goal　to　many　aims　of　the　personality；　it　offers　a　route　to　success　in　obtaining　power；　riches；　etc。；　it　yields　the　longed…for　admiration；　and　it　gives　the　satisfaction　of　superiority。　It　rarely　has　in　it　any　ideal　of　service　or　of　help；　though　beauty　in　the　abstract　is　an　ideal　of　high　value。　To　desire　to　be　beautiful　physically　as　a　leading　aim　usually　leads　to　selfishness　and　petty　vanity。　As　a　subsidiary　aim　it　balances　character；　but　unfortunately；　as　we　have　before　seen；　it　is　inculcated　as　a　primary　aim　early　in　the　life　of　a　girl。　True；　men　seek　to　be　beautiful　in　a　masculine　way；　but　the　goal　of　masculine　beauty　is　strength；　which　is　directly　serviceable。　This　is　not　to　say　that　there　are　no　men　who　are　vain　of　their　good　looks；　for　there　are　many。　But　only　occasionally　does　one　find　a　man　who　organizes　his　life　efforts　to　be　beautiful；　who　establishes　criteria　of　success　or　failure　on　complexion；　hair；　features　of　face　and　lines　of　figure。　So　long；　therefore；　as　woman　can　obtain　power　through　beauty　and　sex　appeal；　so　long　may　we　expect　a　trivial　trend　in　her　character。　We　have　lost　track　of　our　hypothetical　child　in　the　history　of　his　character　development；　lost　sight　of　him　as　he　struggles　in　a　morass　of　desires　and　purposes　of　power；　fellowship　and　superiority。　His　situations　become　still　more　complex　as　we　watch　him　seek　to　unify　his　life　around　permanent　purposes；　against　a　pestering；　surging；　recurring；　temporary　desire。　He　desires；　let　us　say；　to　conform　to　the　restriction　in　sex；　but　as　he　approaches　adolescence；　within　and　without　stimuli　of　breathless　ardor　assail　him。　He　must　inhibit　them　if　he　proposes　to　be　chaste；　and　his　continent　road　is　beset　with　never…resting　temptations。　He　calls　himself　a　fool　at　times　for　resisting；　and　his　mind　pictures　the　delights　he　missesif　not　from　direct　experience；　from　information　he　gathers　in　books　and　from　those　who　knowand　if　he　yields；　then　self…reproach　embitters　him。　But　correctly　to　portray　the　situation　is　to　drop　our　hypothetical　adolescent；　for　here　is　where　individual　reaction　and　individual　situations　are　too　varied　to　be　met　with　in　one　case。　Some　do　not　inhibit　their　sex　desires　at　all；　others　resist　now　and　then；　others　yield　occasionally；　still　others　remain　faithful　to　the　ideal。　Some　drop　the　conventional　ideal　and　replace　with　unconventional　substitutes；　some　resist　at　great　cost　to　themselves；　and　others　find　no　difficulty　in　resisting　what　is　no　temptation　at　all　to　them。　Passion；　resistance；　opportunity；　training　and　sublimation　differ　as　remarkably　as　nuns　differ　from　prostitutes。　A　similar　situation　is　found　in　the　work　purposes。　To　work　steadily；　with　industry　and　unflagging　effort；　at　something　perhaps　not　inherently　attractive　is　not　merely　a　measure　of　energy；it　is　a　measure　of　inhibition　and　will。　For　there　are　so　many　more　immediate　pleasures　to　b