the life of william carey-第20节
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ight。 I had on the evening of each of these days very precious seasons of fervent prayer to God。 I have been on these evenings much drawn out in prayer for my dear friends at Leicester； and for the Society that it may be prosperous； likewise for the ministers of my acquaintance； not only of the Baptist but other denominations。 I was engaged for the churches in America and Holland； as well as England； and much concerned for the success of the Gospel among the Hindoos。 At present I know not of any success since I have been here。 Many say that the Gospel is the word of truth； but they abound so much in flattery and encomiums； which are mere words of course； that little can be said respecting their sincerity。 The very common sins of lying and avarice are so universal also； that no European who has not witnessed it can form any idea of their various appearances： they will stoop to anything whatsoever to get a few cowries； and lie on every occasion。 O how desirable is the spread of the Gospel！
〃4th July。Rather more flat； perhaps owing to the excessive heat； for in the rainy season； if there be a fine day； it is very hot indeed。 Such has been this day； and I was necessitated to be out in it from morning till evening； giving necessary directions。 I felt very much fatigued indeed； and had no spirits left in the evening； and in prayer was very barren。。。
〃9th July to 4th Aug。Employed in visiting several factories to learn the process of indigo…making。 Had some very pleasant seasons at Malda； where I preached several times； and the people seemed much affected with the Word。 One day； as Mr。 Thomas and I were riding out； we saw a basket hung in a tree； in which an infant had been exposed； the skull remained； the rest having been devoured by ants。〃
Success in the indigo culture was indeed never possible in Mudnabati。 The factory stood on the river Tangan； within what is now the district of Dinajpoor； thirty miles north of Malda。 To this day the revenue surveyors of Government describe it as low and marshy； subject to inundation during the rains； and considered very unhealthy。 Carey had not been there a fortnight when he had to make this record：
〃5th； 6th； 7th July。Much employed in settling the affairs of the buildings； etc。； having been absent so long； and several of our managing and principal people being sick。 It is indeed an awful time here with us now； scarcely a day but some are seized with fevers。 It is； I believe； owing to the abundance of water； there being rice…fields all around us； in which they dam up the water； so that all the country hereabouts is about a foot deep in water； and as we have rain； though moderate to what I expected the rainy season to be； yet the continual moisture occasions fevers in such situations where rice is cultivated。。。Felt at home and thankful these days。 O that I may be very useful！ I must soon learn the language tolerably well； for I am obliged to converse with the natives every day； having no other persons here except my family。〃
Soon in September； the worst of all the months in Bengal； he himself was brought near to the grave by a fever； one of the paroxysms continuing for twenty…six hours without intermission； 〃when providentially Mr。 Udny came to visit us； not knowing that I was ill； and brought a bottle of bark with him。〃 He slowly recovered； but the second youngest child； Peter； a boy of five； was removed by dysentery； and caste made it long difficult to find any native to dig his grave。 But of this time the faithful sufferer could write：
〃Sometimes I enjoyed sweet seasons of self…examination and prayer； as I lay upon my bed。 Many hours together I sweetly spent in contemplating subjects for preaching； and in musing over discourses in Bengali； and when my animal spirits were somewhat raised by the fever； I found myself able to reason and discourse in Bengali for some hours together； and words and phrases occurred much more readily than when I was in health。 When my dear child was ill I was enabled to attend upon him night and day； though very dangerously ill myself； without much fatigue； and now； I bless God that I feel a sweet resignation to his will。〃
A still harder fate befell him。 The monomania of his wife became chronic。 A letter which she wrote and sent by special messenger called forth from Thomas this loving sympathy：〃You must endeavour to consider it a disease。 The eyes and ears of many are upon you； to whom your conduct is unimpeachable with respect to all her charges； but if you show resentment； they have ears； and others have tongues set on fire。 Were I in your case； I should be violent； but blessed be God； who suits our burdens to our backs。 Sometimes I pray earnestly for you； and I always feel for you。 Think of Job； Think of Jesus。 Think of those who were 'destitute； afflicted； tormented。'〃
A voyage up the Tangan in Mr。 Udny's pinnace as far as the north frontier； at a spot now passed by the railway to Darjeeling； restored the invalid。 〃I am no hunter；〃 he wrote； while Thomas was shooting wild buffaloes； but he was ever adding to his store of observations of the people； the customs and language。 Meanwhile he was longing for letters from Fuller and Pearce and Ryland。 At the end of January 1795 the missionary exile thus talks of himself in his journal：〃Much engaged in writing； having begun to write letters to Europe； but having received none； I feel that hope deferred makes the heart sick。 However； I am so fully satisfied of the firmness of their friendship that I feel a sweet pleasure in writing to them； though rather of a forlorn kind； and having nothing but myself to write about； feel the awkwardness of being an egotist。 I feel a social spirit though barred from society。。。I sometimes walk in my garden； and try to pray to God； and if I pray at all it is in the solitude of a walk。 I thought my soul a little drawn out to…day； but soon gross darkness returned。 Spoke a word or two to a Mohammedan upon the things of God； but I feel to be as bad as they。。。9th May。 I have added nothing to these memoirs since the 19th of April。 Now I observe that for the last three sabbaths my soul has been much comforted in seeing so large a congregation； and more especially as many who are not our own workmen come from the parts adjacent； whose attendance must be wholly disinterested。 I therefore now rejoice in seeing a regular congregation of from two to six hundred people of all descriptionsMussulmans； Brahmans and other classes of Hindus； which I look upon as a favourable token from God。。。Blessed be God； I have at last received letters and other articles from our friends in England。。。from dear brethren Fuller； Morris； Pearce； and Rippon； but why not from others？。。。14th June。 I have had very sore trials in my own family； from a quarter which I forbear to mention。 Have greater need for faith and patience than ever I had； and I bless God that I have not been altogether without supplies of these graces。。。Mr。 Thomas and his family spent one Lord's day with us； May 23rd。。。We spent Wednesday； 26th； in prayer； and for a convenient place assembled in a temple of Seeb； which was near to our house。。。I was from that day seized with a dysentery； which continued nearly a week with fearful violence； but then I recovered； through abundant mercy。 That day of prayer was a good day to our souls。 We concerted measures for forming a Baptist church。〃
To his sister he wrote； on the 11th March； of the church； which was duly formed of Europeans and Eurasians。 No native convert was made in this Dinapoor mission till 1806； after Carey had removed to Serampore。 〃We have in the neighbourhood about fifteen or sixteen serious persons； or those I have good hopes of； all Europeans。 With the natives I have very large concerns； almost all the farmers for nearly twenty miles round cultivate indigo for us； and the labouring people working here to the number of about five hundred； so that I have considerable opportunity of publishing the Gospel to them。 I have so much knowledge of the language as to be able to preach to them for about half an hour； so as to be understood； but am not able to vary my subjects much。 I tell them of the evil and universality of sin； the sins of a natural state； the justice of God； the incarnation of Christ and his sufferings in our stead； and of the necessity of conversion； holiness； and faith； in order to salvation。 They hear with attention in general； and some come to me for instruction in the things of God。〃
〃It was always my opinion that missionaries may and must support themselves after having been sent out and received a little support at first； and in consequence I pursue a very little worldly employment which requires three months' closish attendance in the year； but this is in the rainsthe most unfavourable season for exertion。 I have a district of about twenty miles square； where I am continually going from village to village to publish the Gospel； and in this space are about two hundred villages； whose inhabitants from time to time hear the Word。 My manner of travelling is with two small boats； one serves me to live in； and the other for cooking my food。 I carry all my furniture and food with me from place to placeviz。 a chair； a table； a b
