fanny and the servant problem-第7节

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　very　happyvery　happy　indeed。

FANNY　＇she　leans　across；　puts　her　hand　on　his＇。　　You're　a　dear；　good　fellow；　Georgealways　have　been。　　I　wouldn't　plague　you　only　it　is　absolutely　necessary　I　should　knowexactly　what　you　did　tell　him。

NEWTE　＇a　little　sulkily＇。　　I　told　him　that　your　uncle　was　a　bishop。

FANNY　＇sits　backstaring　at　him＇。　　A　what？

NEWTE。　　A　bishop。　　Bishop　of　Waiapu；　New　Zealand。

FANNY。　　Why　New　Zealand？

NEWTE。　　Why　not？　　Had　to　be　somewhere。　　Didn't　want　him　Archbishop　of　Canterbury；　did　you？

FANNY。　　Did　he　believe　it？

NEWTE。　　Shouldn't　have　told　him　had　there　been　any　fear　that　he　wouldn't。

FANNY。　　I　see。　　Any　other　swell　relations　of　mine　knocking　about？

NEWTE。　　Onea　judge　of　the　Supreme　Court　in　Ohio。　　Same　name；　anyhow；　O'Gorman。　　Thought　I'd　make　him　a　cousin　of　yours。　　I've　always　remembered　him。　　Met　him　when　I　was　over　there　in　ninety…　eightdamn　him！

A　silence。

FANNY　＇she　rises＇。　　Well；　nothing　else　for　it！　　Got　to　tell　him　it　was　all　a　pack　of　lies。　　Not　blaming　you；　old　boymy　fault。　　Didn't　know　he　was　going　to　ask　any　questions；　or　I'd　have　told　him　myself。　Bit　of　bad　luck；　that's　all。

NEWTE。　　Why　must　you　tell　him？　　Only　upset　him。

FANNY。　　It's　either　my　telling　him　or　leaving　it　for　them　to　do。　　You　know　me；　George。　　How　long　do　you　see　me　being　bossed　and　bullied　by　my　own　servants？　　Besides；　it's　bound　to　come　out　in　any　case。

NEWTE　＇he　rises。　　Kindly　but　firmly　he　puts　her　back　into　her　chair。　Then　pacing　to　and　fro　with　his　hands　mostly　in　his　trousers　pockets；　he　talks＇。　　Now；　you　listen　to　me；　old　girl。　　I've　been　your　business　manager　ever　since　you　started　in。　　I've　never　made　a　mistake　before…　…＇he　turns　and　faces　her＇and　I　haven't　made　one　this　time。

FANNY。　　I　don't　really　see　the　smartness；　George；　stuffing　him　up　with　a　lot　of　lies　he　can　find　out　for　himself。

NEWTE。　　IF　HE　WANTS　TO。　　A　couple　of　telegrams；　one　to　His　Grace　the　Bishop　of　Waiapu；　the　other　to　Judge　Denis　O'Gorman；　Columbus；　Ohio；　would　have　brought　him　back　the　information　that　neither　gentlemen　had　ever　heard　of　you。　　IF　HE　HADN'T　BEEN　CAREFUL　NOT　TO　SEND　THEM。　He　wasn't　marrying　you　with　the　idea　of　strengthening　his　family　connections。　　He　was　marrying　you　because　he　was　just　gone　on　you。　Couldn't　help　himself。

FANNY。　　In　that　case；　you　might　just　as　well　have　told　him　the　truth。

NEWTE。　　WHICH　HE　WOULD　THEN　HAVE　HAD　TO　PASS　ON　TO　EVERYONE　ENTITLED　TO　ASK　QUESTIONS。　　Can't　you　understand？　　Somebody；　in　the　interest　of　everybody；　had　to　tell　a　lie。　　Well；　what's　a　business　manager　for？

FANNY。　　But　I　can't　do　it；　George。　　You　don't　know　them。　　The　longer　I　give　in　to　them　the　worse　they'll　get。

NEWTE。　　Can't　you　square　them？

FANNY。　　No；　that's　the　trouble。　　They　ARE　honest。　　They're　the　〃faithful　retainers〃　out　of　a　melodrama。　　They　are　working　eighteen　hours　a　day　on　me　not　for　any　advantage　to　themselves；　but　because　they　think　it　their　〃duty〃　to　the　family。　　They　don't　seem　to　have　any　use　for　themselves　at　all。

NEWTE。　　Well；　what　about　the　boy？　　Can't　HE　talk　to　them？

FANNY。　　Vernon！　　They've　brought　him　up　from　a　babyspanked　him　all　round；　I　expect。　　Might　as　well　ask　a　boy　to　talk　to　his　old　schoolmaster。　　Besides；　if　he　did　talk；　then　it　would　all　come　out。　As　I　tell　you；　it's　bound　to　come　outand　the　sooner　the　better。

NEWTE。　　It　must　NOT　come　out！　　It's　too　late。　　If　we　had　told　him　at　the　beginning　that　he　was　proposing　to　marry　into　his　own　butler's　familywell；　it's　an　awkward　situationhe　might　have　decided　to　risk　it。　　Or　he　might　have　cried　off。

FANNY。　　And　a　good　job　if　he　had。

NEWTE。　　Now　talk　sense。　　You　wanted　himyou　took　a　fancy　to　him　from　the　beginning。　　He's　a　nice　boy；　and　there's　something　owing　to　him。　＇It　is　his　trump　card；　and　he　knows　it。＇　　Don't　forget　that。　　He's　been　busy；　explaining　to　all　his　friends　and　relations　why　they　should　receive　you　with　open　arms：　　really　nice　girl；　born　gentlewoman；　good　old　Church　of　England　familyno　objection　possible。　　For　you　to　spring　the　truth　upon　him　NOWwell；　it　doesn't　seem　to　me　quite　fair　to　HIM。

FANNY。　　Then　am　I　to　live　all　my　life　dressed　as　a　charity　girl？

NEWTE。　　You　keep　your　head　and　things　will　gradually　right　themselves。　　This　family　of　yoursthey've　got　SOME　sense；　I　suppose？

FANNY。　　Never　noticed　any　sign　of　it　myself。

NEWTE。　　Maybe　you're　not　a　judge。　　＇Laughs。＇　　They'll　listen　to　reason。　　You　let　ME　have　a　talk　to　them；　one　of　these　days；　see　if　I　can't　show　themfirst　one　and　then　the　otherthe　advantage　of　leaving　to　〃better〃　themselvesWITH　THE　HELP　OF　A　LITTLE　READY　MONEY。　　Later　onchoosing　your　proper　timeyou　can　break　it　to　him　that　you　have　discovered　they're　distant　connections　of　yours；　a　younger　branch　of　the　family　that　you'd　forgotten。　　Give　the　show　time　to　settle　down　into　a　run。　　Then　you　can　begin　to　make　changes。

FANNY。　　You've　a　wonderful　way　with　you；　George。　　It　always　sounds　right　as　you　put　iteven　when　one　jolly　well　knows　that　it　isn't。

NEWTE。　　Well；　it's　always　been　right　for　you；　old　girl；　ain't　it？

FANNY。　　Yes。　　You've　been　a　rattling　good　friend。　　＇She　takes　his　hands。＇　　Almost　wish　I'd　married　you　instead。　　We'd　have　been　more　suited　to　one　another。

NEWTE　＇shakes　his　head＇。　　Nothing　like　having　your　fancy。　　You'd　never　have　been　happy　without　him。　　＇He　releases　her。＇　　'Twas　a　good　engagement；　or　I'd　never　have　sanctioned　it。

FANNY。　　I　suppose　it　will　be　the　last　one　you　will　ever　get　me。　　＇She　has　dropped　for　a　moment　into　a　brown　study。＇

NEWTE　＇he　turns＇。　　I　hope　so。

FANNY　＇she　throws　off　her　momentary　mood　with　a　laugh＇。　　Poor　fellow！　You　never　even　got　your　commission。

NEWTE。　　I'll　take　ten　per　cent。　of　all　your　happiness；　old　girl。　　So　make　it　as　much　as　you　can　for　my　benefit。　　Good…bye。　　＇He　holds　out　hand。＇

FANNY。　　You're　not　going？　　You'll　stop　to　lunch？

NEWTE。　　Not　to…day。

FANNY。　　Do。　　If　you　don't；　they'll　think　it's　because　I　was　frightened　to　ask　you。

NEWTE。　　All　the　better。　　The　more　the　other　party　thinks　he's　having　his　way；　the　easier　always　to　get　your　own。　　Your　trouble　is；　you　know；　that　you　never　had　any　tact。

FANNY。　　I　hate　tact。　　＇Newte　laughs。＇　　We　could　have　had　such　a　jolly　little　lunch　together。　　I'm　all　alone　till　the　evening。　　There　were　ever　so　many　things　I　wanted　to　talk　to　you　about。

NEWTE。　　What？

FANNY。　　Ah；　how　can　one　talk　to　a　man　with　his　watch　in　his　hand？　＇He　puts　it　away　and　stands　waiting；　but　she　is　cross。＇　　I　think　you're　very　disagreeable。

NEWTE。　　I　must　really　get　back　to　town。　　I　oughtn't　to　be　away　now；　only　your　telegram　…

FANNY。　　I　know。　　I'm　an　ungrateful　little　beast！　　＇She　crosses　and　rings　bell。＇　　You'll　have　a　glass　of　champagne　before　you　go？

NEWTE。　　Well；　I　won't　say　no　to　that。

FANNY。　　How　are　all　the　girls？

NEWTE。　　Oh；　chirpy。　　I'm　bringing　them　over　to　London。　　We　open　at　the　Palace　next　week。

FANNY。　　What　did　they　think　of　my　marriage？　　Gerty　was　a　bit　jealous；　wasn't　she？

NEWTE。　　Well；　would　have　been；　if　she'd　known　who　he　was。　　＇Laughs。＇

FANNY。　　Tell　her。　　Tell　her　＇she　draws　herself　up＇　I'm　Lady　Bantock；　of　Bantock　Hall；　Rutlandshire。　　It　will　make　her　so　mad。　　＇Laughs。＇

NEWTE　＇laughs＇。　　I　will。

FANNY。　　Give　them　all　my　love。　　＇Ernest　appears　in　answer　to　her　bell。＇　　Oh；　Ernest；　tell　Bennet＇the　eyes　and　mouth　of　Ernest　open＇…　…to　see　that　Mr。　Newte　has　some　refreshment　before　he　leaves。　　A　glass　of　champagne　andand　some　caviare。　　Don't　forget。　　＇Ernest　goes　out。＇　　Good…bye。　　You'll　come　again？

NEWTE。　　Whenever　you　want　meand　rememberthe　watchword　is　〃Tact〃！

FANNY。　　Yes；　I've　got　the　WORD　all　right。　　＇Laughs。＇　　Don't　forget　to　give　my　love　to　the　girls。

NEWTE。　　I　won't。　　So　long！　　＇He　goes　out。＇

Fanny　closes　the　door。　　Honoria　has　re…entered　from　the　dressing…　room。　　She　looks　from　the　handkerchief　still　hanging　over　the　keyhole　to　Fanny。

HONORIA。　　Your　ladyship's　handkerchief？

FANNY。　　Yes。　　Such　a　draught　through　that　keyhole。

HONORIA　＇takes　the　handkerchief；　hands　it　to　Fanny＇。　　I　will　tell　the　housekeeper。

FANNY。　　Thanks。　　Maybe　you　will　also　mention　it　to　the　butler。　Possibly　also　to　the＇She　suddenly　changes。＇　　Honoria。　　Suppose　it　had　been　youyou　know；　you're　awfully　prettywho　had　married　Lord　Bantock；　and　he　had　brought　you　back　here；　among　them　alluncle；　aunt；　all　the　lot　of　themwhat　would　you　have　done？

HONORIA　＇she　draws　herself　up＇。　　I　should　have　made　it　quite　plain　from　the　first；　that　I　was　mistress；　and　that　they　were　my　servants。

FANNY。　　You　would；　you　think　…

HONORIA　＇checking　her　outburst＇。　　But　then；　dearyou　will　excuse　my　speaking　plainlythere　is　a　slight　difference　between　the　two　cases。　＇She　seats　herself　on　the　settee。　　Fanny　is　standing　near　the　desk。＇　You　see；　what　we　all　feel　about　you；　dear；　isthat　you　arewell；　hardly　a　fit　wife　for　his　lordship。　　＇Fanny's　hands　are　itching　to　box　the　girl's　ears。　　To　save　herself；　she　grinds　out　through　her　teeth　the　word　〃Tack！〃＇　　Of　course；　dear；　it　isn't　altogether　your　fault。

FANNY。　　Thanks。

HONORIA。　　Your　mother's　marriage　was　most　unfortunate。

FANNY　＇her　efforts　to　suppress　her　feelings　are　justbut　only　just　successful。＇　　Need　we　discuss　that？

HONORIA。　　Well；　he　was　an　Irishman；　dear；　there's　no　de