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As you review your cassettes; try to come up with the foreign word during the  
pause before the next piece of English。 Put artificial pressure on yourself: “Can I come up  
with the expression before I hear the next word on the cassette?” Or if you’re listening as  
you’re walking; “Can I come up with it before I get to that sign; that lamppost; the  
corner; the curb?” Victory is being able to take an entire cassette of what were recently  
nonsense syllables to you and throw back the foreign equivalents without hesitation。    
You’ll be glad you didn’t smash your tools when your friend approaches you by  
surprise to introduce you to her friend from a country that speaks the language you’re  
learning and you respond with a crisp; correct “Pleased to meet you” in that language!         
Commit Language Larceny         
There are interesting lessons coiled up inside ordinary greetings in different languages。    
The Estonian greeting Kuidas (k。si k。ib) literally means “How does your hand  
walk?” An old Chinese greeting is Chr bao le; mei lo? which means; “Have you had food  
yet?” – no small achievement in the China of some periods。 A charming greeting in  
Yiddish is “Zug mir a shtikel Toireh;” which means “Teach me a piece of Torah;” the  
Torah being the five books of Moses and the holiest document in the Jewish religion。    
Language learners can use the spirit of that last one to good advantage。    
When you encounter a native speaker of your target language; and when you start a  
conversation in that language; three things are certain。 You will be stuck for words you  
need but don’t know。 He will use words you don’t understand。 And you will make  
mistakes。 Get into the habit of exploiting those moments to the hilt!    
When you don’t know a word; ask him for it。 When you don’t understand a word he  
uses; ask him what it means。 Ask him to do you the favour of correcting your mistakes。  
You may not have much luck with that latter request; he may be too polite or too    
 
impressed that you’re making an effort in his language to criticise you。 If you feel he’s  
letting your mistakes slide by; pick a fairly long sentence and ask him to help you  
hammer out your mistakes in just that one sentence。 Write that sentence down on one of  
your blank flash cards。 Ask him to check it again。 Milk the moment。 As the Latin goes;  
Carpe diem!    
Don’t ever enter into anything as precious as a conversation in your target language  
with a native speaker and leave knowing no more than when you started。 You’ve got a  
repertoire in that language。 He has a larger one。 Reach in and help yourself。         
At No Extra Cost         
You may think you have a good idea precisely how your life will improve once you’ve  
mastered your target language。 You’re wrong。 It will be much better than you think。    
Unexpected good things happen to you when you learn even a little of the other  
guy’s language。 A chapter detailing some of those things may seem like preaching to the  
choir; when you consider that anybody likely to be reading this has already decided he  
wants to learn。 So what? Who more than the members of the choir deserve the  
inspiration?    
All the case histories that follow were culled and corroborated by members of the  
Language Club who were asked to be alert to all the nice little extras that come your way  
when you speak another language。 Many of them happened to me personally and  
continue to happen almost daily。    
In New York and some other major cities a huge percentage of the cab drivers are  
from Haiti。 Try this; just to get a taste of the power of another language。 If your driver is  
Haitian; lean forward and say (phonetically); “Sa (rhymes with “ma”) pass (“pasta”  
without the “ta”) SAY (as in the English “say”); pa…PA (“papa;” but accented on the last  
syllable)。 Sort those sounds out and try it。 “Sa paSAY paPA?” It means something like the  
French Comment 。a va? (“How are you?”); but it’s not French。 It’s his native Haitian  
Creole slang and he may never before have heard that utterance from the lips of a non… 
Haitian。    
That one line is guaranteed to get you reactions ranging from a long; slow smile to a  
cheery “Where did you learn that?” to loud and joyous laughter to the exclamation; “You  
must know Haiti well!”    
Don’t get the idea that Haitians are the only ones susceptible to the charm of  
hearing a few words of their language。 They just may be more demonstrative than most  
in showing it。 Romanian cab drivers have turned off the metre and given me a free ride in  
return for my “Good morning” in Romanian。 A Soviet Georgian cab driver refused to  
take my money and invited me to Sunday dinner at his home; one of the tastiest treats and  
most interesting evenings I’ve ever enjoyed。 An Indonesian cab driver screamed – that’s  
all; just screamed – upon hearing “Thank you” in his language。    
I’ve long suspected there’s a memo posted in the kitchen of every Chinese  
restaurant in America instructing all personnel not to let any American who exhibits any  
knowledge of Chinese go unrewarded。 Try this experience; just to taste the power。    
The Chinese term for “chopsticks” is kwai dze。 The first word is pronounced like  
the Asian river the American war prisoners built the bridge over。 The second word  
sounds like the ds in “suds。”    
 
The next time you’re in a Chinese restaurant; smile at the waiter and say “Kwai  
dze。” When he brings the chopsticks; smile again and say; “Shieh; shieh” (“Thank  
you”)。 Pronounce that as you should “she expects;” making sure you never get as far as  
the x and accentuating the “she”。 The immediate payoffs on this one can range from a  
free plum brandy cocktail at the end of the meal clear over to a stubborn refusal to let you  
pay。 The more subtle; and satisfying; payoff is that they will assume you know not only  
the rest of the Chinese language but the Chinese cuisine as well; and they’ll probably  
give you no less than the absolute finest the house can produce every time they see you  
come in。    
Your rewards for knowing even a paltry few words of a language vary in inverse  
proportion to the likelihood that you’ll know any at all。 A German baker isn’t likely to  
endorse his whole day’s profit on strudel over to your favourite charity merely because  
you enter his shop with a big “Guten Tag” (“Good day”); but an Albanian baker might if  
you enter with “Tungjatjeta。” You won’t knock French socks off with a “Comment  
allez…vous?” (“How are you?”); but you may set winter gloves flying in Helsinki with a  
correctly pronounced “(Hyv。。 P。iv。。)” (“Good morning”)。    
Don’t overdo it。 I’ve known cab drivers from obscure countries almost drive off the  
road when they’re surprised with a burst of their native tongue from an American  
passenger; and once I had a Chinese waitress in a Jewish delicatessen (honest!) get so  
rattled when I ordered for our party in Chinese that she messed up our order beyond  
redemption。    
I have many times ignited what looked like spontaneous street festivals by hailing  
groups of people on the sidewalk in the language I heard them speaking。 They frequently  
stop; return the greeting; and then start hobnobbing with the people in my group; leading  
to laughs; the exchange of addresses; dates for later on; and; I suspect; even more! I’ve  
never understood the joy of bagging a bird or a deer and watching it fall to the ground。  
My joy is bagging strangers from other countries with the right greeting in the right  
language and watching them come to a halt and become old friends at once。    
The material payoffs of learning foreign languages are many and predictable;  
though perhaps a bit surprising in their scope。 In early 1990 a friend told me he was  
looking to fill a job paying 650;000 a year; qualifications: attorney; knowledge of  
Russian; and willingness to relocate to Moscow。 I prefer the psychological payoffs of  
studying foreign languages – pleasures so keep you could almost call them spiritual。    
They joy of a true mathematician escalates as he moves from algebra to  
trigonometry to calculus。 Likewise; the joy of the true language lover escalates as he  
advances from what I call “Foreign 1” to “Foreign 2。” Foreign 1 is interpreting or  
translating (interpreters speak; translators write) from your native language to a foreign  
one。 Foreign 2 is doing it from one language that’s foreign to you to another one that’s  
foreign to you。    
You are permitted to feel like Superman when you pull off such a feat。 You are not  
permitted to act like Superman; nor are you permitted to let on that you feel like  
Superman。 You mien should approximate that of a bored New York commuter telling a  
stranger how many stops there are between Grand Central Station and New Rochelle。    
The best Foreign 2 feeling I ever had was interpreting for Finns trying to  
communicate with Hungarians。 Finnish and Hungarian are widely hailed as the most  
difficult languages in the world。 They’re relat

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