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How to Learn Any Language
Quickly； Easily； Inexpensively； Enjoyably and On Your Own
by
Barry Farber
Founder of the Language Club/Nationally Syndicated Talk Show Host
To Bibi and Celia； for the pleasure of helping teach them
their first language； followed by the pleasure of having them
then teach me their second！
Contents
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Part I： My Story
A Life of Language Learning
Part II： The System
Do As I Now Say； Not As I Then Did
Psych Up
French or Tagalog： Choosing a Language
Gathering Your Tools
The Multiple Track Attack
Hidden Moments
Harry Lorayne’s Magic Memory Aid
The Plunge
Motivations
Language Power to the People
Back to Basics
Last Words Before the Wedding
Part III： Appendices
The Language Club
The Principal Languages of the World
Farber’s Language Reviews
Acknowledgements
I want to thank my editor； Bruce Shostak； without whose skill and patience much of
this book would have been intelligible only to others who’ve had a blinding passion for
foreign languages since 1944。 I further thank my publisher； Steven Schragis； for
venturing into publishing territory heretofore officially listed as “uninteresting”。 Dr。
Henry Urbanski； Founder and Head of the New Paltz Language Immersion Institute； was
good enough to review key portions of the manuscript and offer toweringly helpful
amendments。 Dr。 Urbanski’s associate； Dr。 Hans Weber； was supremely helpful in
safeguarding against error。
I further wish to thank all my fellow language lovers from around the world who
interrupted their conversations at practice parties of the Language Club to serve as
willing guinea pigs for my questions and experimentations in their native languages。
How to Learn Any Language
Introduction
This may be the most frequently told joke in the world – it’s repeated every day in almost
every language：
“What do you call a person who speaks two languages？”
“Bilingual。”
“What do you call a person who speaks three languages？”
“Trilingual。”
“What do you call a person who speaks four languages？”
“Quadrilingual。”
“What do you call a person who speaks only one language？”
“An American！”
With your help this book can wipe that smile off the world’s face。
The reason Americans have been such notoriously poor language learners up to
now is twofold：
1。 We’ve never really had to learn other peoples’ languages before； and
2。 Almost all foreign language instruction available to the average American has
been until now （one hates to be cruel） worthless。 “I took two years of high school French
and four more years in college and I couldn’t even order orange juice in Marseilles” is
more than a self effacing exaggeration。 It’s a fact； a shameful； culturally impoverishing；
economically dangerous； self defeating fact！
Modern commerce and communications have erased reason 1。
You and the method laid out in this book； working together； will erase reason 2。
It started for me when I learned that the Norwegian word for “squirrel” was acorn。
It may have been spelled ekorn； but it was pronounced acorn。 Then I learned that
“Mickey Mouse” in Swedish is Mussie Pig。 Again； the Swedish spelling varied； but so
what？ As delights like those continued to come my way； I realised I was being locked
tighter and tighter into the happy pursuit of language love and language learning。
My favourite music is the babble of strange tongues in the marketplace。 No
painting； no art； no photograph in the world can excite me as much as a printed page of
text in a foreign language I can’t read – yet！
I embraced foreign language study as a hobby as a teenager in 1944。 When I was
inducted into the army in 1952； I was tested and qualified for work in fourteen different
languages。 Since then I’ve expanded my knowledge of those languages and taken up
others。 Whether fluently or fragmentally； I can now express myself in twenty…five
languages。
That may sound like a boast； but it’s really a confession。 Having spent so many
years with no other hobby； I should today be speaking every one of those languages
much better than I do。 If you’re a beginner； you may be impressed to hear me order a
meal in Chinese or discuss the Tito…Stalin split in Serbo…Croatian； but only I know how
much time and effort I wasted over those years thinking I was doing the right thing to
increase my command of those and other languages。
This book； then； does not represent the tried and true formula I’ve been using since
1944。 It presents the tried and true formula I’d use if I could go back to 1944 and start all
over again！
Common sense tells us we can’t have dessert before we finish the meal； we can’t
have a slim figure until we diet； we can’t have strong muscles until we exercise； we
won’t have a fortune until we make it。 So far common sense is right。
Common sense also tells us； however； that we can’t enjoy communicating in a
foreign language until we learn it。 This means years of brain benumbing conjugations；
declensions； idioms； exceptions； subjunctives； and irregular verbs。 And here common
sense is wrong； completely wrong。 When it comes to learning foreign languages； we can
start with the dessert and then use its sweetness to inspire us to back up and devour the
main course。
What six year old child ever heard of a conjugation？ Wouldn’t you love to be able
to converse in a foreign language as well as all the children of that tongue who’ve not yet
heard of grammar？ No； we’re not going to rise up as one throaty revolutionary mob；
depose grammar； drag it out of the palace by the heels； and burn it in the main square。
We’re just going to put grammar in its place。 Up to now； grammar has been used by our
language educators to anesthetise us against progress。 If it’s grammar versus fun； we’re
going to minimise grammar and maximise fun。 We’re going to find more pleasant ways
to absorb grammar。
Unfortunately； there are a lot more “self improvement” books than there is self
improvement。 Too many books whose titles are heavy with promise turn out to be all hat
and no cattle – not enough take home after you deduct the generalities and exhortations
to “focus” and “visualise” your goals。 Extracting usable advice from high promising
books can be like trying to nail custard pies to the side of a barn。
Mindful of that danger； I will not leave you with nothing but a pep talk。 Follow the
steps herein； and you will learn the language of your choice quickly； easily； inexpensively；
enjoyably and on your own。
And you’ll have fun en route； though not nearly as much fun as you’ll have once
you get that language in working order and take it out to the firing range of the real
world！
The System
The language learning system detailed in this book is the result of my own continuous；
laborious trial and error beginning in 1944。 That which worked was kept； that which
failed was dropped； that which was kept was improved。 Technology undreamed of when
I started studying languages； such as the audiocasette and the tape player small enough to
carry while walking or jogging； was instantly and eagerly incorporated。
The system combines：
。THE MULTIPLE TRACK ATTACK： Go to the language department of any bookstore
and you’ll see language books； grammars； hardcover and paperback workbooks；
readers； dictionaries； flash cards； and handsomely bound courses on cassette。 Each
one of those products sits there on the shelf and says； “Hey； Bud。 You want to
learn this language？ Here I am。 Buy me！” I say； buy them all； or at least one of
each！ You may feel like you’re taking four or five different courses in the same
language simultaneously。 That’s good。 A marvellous synergistic energy sets you
soaring when all those tools are set together in symphony。
。HIDDEN MOMENTS： Dean Martin once chided a chorus girl； who was apathetically
sipping her cocktail； by saying； “I spill more than you drink！” All of us “spill”
enough minutes every day to learn a whole new language a year！ Just as the Dutch
steal land from the sea； you will learn to steal language learning time； even from a
life that seems completely filled or overflowing。 What do you do； for example；
while you’re waiting for an elevator； standing in line at the bank； waiting for the
person you’re calling to answer the phone； holding the line； getting gas； waiting to
be ushered from the waiting room into somebody’s office； waiting for your date to
arrive； waiting for anything at any time？
You will learn
