crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第55节
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At that moment Polenka forced her way through the crowd at the door。
She came in panting from running so fast； took off her kerchief；
looked for her mother； went up to her and said； 〃She's coming； I met
her in the street。〃 Her mother made her kneel beside her。
Timidly and noiselessly a young girl made her way through the crowd；
and strange was her appearance in that room； in the midst of want；
rags； death and despair。 She； too； was in rags； her attire was all
of the cheapest； but decked out in gutter finery of a special stamp；
unmistakably betraying its shameful purpose。 Sonia stopped short in
the doorway and looked about her bewildered； unconscious of
everything。 She forgot her fourth…hand； gaudy silk dress； so
unseemly here with its ridiculous long train； and her immense
crinoline that filled up the whole doorway； and her light…coloured
shoes； and the parasol she brought with her； though it was no use at
night； and the absurd round straw hat with its flaring
flame…coloured feather。 Under this rakishly…tilted hat was a pale；
frightened little face with lips parted and eyes staring in terror。
Sonia was a small thin girl of eighteen with fair hair； rather pretty；
with wonderful blue eyes。 She looked intently at the bed and the
priest； she too was out of breath with running。 At last whispers； some
words in the crowd probably； reached her。 She looked down and took a
step forward into the room； still keeping close to the door。
The service was over。 Katerina Ivanovna went up to her husband
again。 The priest stepped back and turned to say a few words of
admonition and consolation to Katerina Ivanovna on leaving。
〃What am I to do with these？〃 she interrupted sharply and irritably；
pointing to the little ones。
〃God is merciful； look to the Most High for succour；〃 the priest
began。
〃Ach！ He is merciful； but not to us。〃
〃That's a sin； a sin； madam；〃 observed the priest； shaking his head。
〃And isn't that a sin？〃 cried Katerina Ivanovna； pointing to the
dying man。
〃Perhaps those who have involuntarily caused the accident will agree
to compensate you； at least for the loss of his earnings。〃
〃You don't understand！〃 cried Katerina Ivanovna angrily waving her
hand。 〃And why should they compensate me？ Why； he was drunk and
threw himself under the horses！ What earnings？ He brought us in
nothing but misery。 He drank everything away； the drunkard！ He
robbed us to get drink； he wasted their lives and mine for drink！
And thank God he's dying！ One less to keep！〃
〃You must forgive in the hour of death； that's a sin； madam； such
feelings are a great sin。〃
Katerina Ivanovna was busy with the dying man； she was giving him
water； wiping the blood and sweat from his head； setting his pillow
straight； and had only turned now and then for a moment to address the
priest。 Now she flew at him almost in a frenzy。
〃Ah； father！ That's words and only words！ Forgive！ If he'd not
been run over； he'd have come home to…day drunk and his only shirt
dirty and in rags and he'd have fallen asleep like a log； and I should
have been sousing and rinsing till daybreak； washing his rags and
the children's and then drying them by the window and as soon as it
was daylight I should have been darning them。 That's how I spend my
nights！。。。 What's the use of talking of forgiveness！ I have forgiven
as it is！〃
A terrible hollow cough interrupted her words。 She put her
handkerchief to her lips and showed it to the priest； pressing her
other hand to her aching chest。 The handkerchief was covered with
blood。 The priest bowed his head and said nothing。
Marmeladov was in the last agony； he did not take his eyes off the
face of Katerina Ivanovna； who was bending over him again。 He kept
trying to say something to her； he began moving his tongue with
difficulty and articulating indistinctly； but Katerina Ivanovna；
understanding that he wanted to ask her forgiveness； called
peremptorily to him：
〃Be silent！ No need！ I know what you want to say！〃 And the sick
man was silent； but at the same instant his wandering eyes strayed
to the doorway and he saw Sonia。
Till then he had not noticed her： she was standing in the shadow
in a corner。
〃Who's that？ Who's that？〃 he said suddenly in a thick gasping voice；
in agitation； turning his eyes in horror towards the door where his
daughter was standing； and trying to sit up。
〃Lie down！ Lie do…own！〃 cried Katerina Ivanovna。
With unnatural strength he had succeeded in propping himself on
his elbow。 He looked wildly and fixedly for some time on his daughter；
as though not recognising her。 He had never seen her before in such
attire。 Suddenly he recognised her； crushed and ashamed in her
humiliation and gaudy finery； meekly awaiting her turn to say good…bye
to her dying father。 His face showed intense suffering。
〃Sonia！ Daughter！ Forgive！〃 he cried； and he tried to hold out his
hand to her； but losing his balance； he fell off the sofa； face
downwards on the floor。 They rushed to pick him up； they put him on
the sofa； but he was dying。 Sonia with a faint cry ran up； embraced
him and remained so without moving。 He died in her arms。
〃He's got what he wanted；〃 Katerina Ivanovna cried； seeing her
husband's dead body。 〃Well； what's to be done now？ How am I to bury
him！ What can I give them to…morrow to eat？〃
Raskolnikov went up to Katerina Ivanovna。
〃Katerina Ivanovna；〃 he began； 〃last week your husband told me all
his life and circumstances。。。。 Believe me； he spoke of you with
passionate reverence。 From that evening； when I learnt how devoted
he was to you all and how he loved and respected you especially；
Katerina Ivanovna； in spite of his unfortunate weakness； from that
evening we became friends。。。。 Allow me now。。。 to do something。。。 to
repay my debt to my dead friend。 Here are twenty roubles I think…
and if that can be of any assistance to you； then。。。 I。。。 in short；
I will come again； I will be sure to come again。。。 I shall； perhaps；
come again to…morrow。。。。 Good…bye！〃
And he went quickly out of the room； squeezing his way through the
crowd to the stairs。 But in the crowd he suddenly jostled against
Nikodim Fomitch； who had heard of the accident and had come to give
instructions in person。 They had not met since the scene at the police
station； but Nikodim Fomitch knew him instantly。
〃Ah； is that you？〃 he asked him。
〃He's dead；〃 answered Raskolnikov。 〃The doctor and the priest have
been； all as it should have been。 Don't worry the poor woman too much；
she is in consumption as it is。 Try and cheer her up； if possible。。。
you are a kind…hearted man； I know。。。〃 he added with a smile；
looking straight in his face。
〃But you are spattered with blood；〃 observed Nikodim Fomitch；
noticing in the lamplight some fresh stains on Raskolnikov's
waistcoat。
〃Yes。。。 I'm covered with blood；〃 Raskolnikov said with a peculiar
air； then he smiled； nodded and went downstairs。
He walked down slowly and deliberately； feverish but not conscious
of it； entirely absorbed in a new overwhelming sensation of life and
strength that surged up suddenly within him。 This sensation might be
compared to that of a man condemned to death who has suddenly been
pardoned。 Halfway down the stairca
